'So, where should I start? Umm... how about from cursing you, System? You cool with it?'
"..."
'No? Good, lets start from that then, now here I go!'
"Ahem! Ahem! YOU FREAKING ASS DONKEY! WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU FUCKING ASS TRANSMIGRATED ME WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO HIT IT OFF WITH MY CUTE GIRLFRIEND? HUH?"
Kobi gasped for breath after letting loose everything he had in store.
The victim of his curses being the poor system who innocently admittedly that he had transmigrated him right when he was about to make-up with his sweetheart.
"No," Kobi clasped his hips, "just what did you expect from me when you told me that after I had to kneel for three hours at her door! THREE FREAKING HOURS!
"Just to convince her to see me so that I could prove to her that the girl she saw me with was my OWN FREAKING SISTER and that she didn't need to send me DEATH THREATS EVERY FREAKINV TEN MINUTES WITHOUT SPARING MY EXPLANATIONS A GLANCE!"
Kobi paused to catch his breath before continuing in a slower pace,
"And just when things were about to clear up... I FUCKING GOT ISEKAID HERE!! WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AT THAT!"
Kobi breathed like a donkey. His mouth sucking in air like he wanted to deprive every last ounce of it.
"I-I'm sorry." The system's timid, childish voice stuttered. Fearing another outburst.
"SORRY YOUR ASS!" Kobi roared, his face could be mistaken for a tomato. He wasn't this ashamed when he kneeled at his girlfriend's door but currently... his anger just wanted to blebour the world.
"..."
Kobi patted his constantly heaving up and down chest and tried to collect himself together.
"Alright, you dumb kid! I don't know what godforsaken system or what not you are but you have to send me back!"
"I-I'm sor–"
"THIS SHITTY INSTANT!!" Kobi cut short his words, sweat sliding down the swollen veins of his forehead.
"Not possible."
Kobi let out a deep breath, his face blank as a sheet, with all his strength, he controlled himself from lashing out and asked gently since the poor kid's voice, the one calling himself system, already seemed to be on the verge of tears, "Why?"
"T-The requirements, th-they haven't been fulfilled yet."
Kobi sighed again, his fingers massaging his temples, "What are the requirements again?"
"Oh, the requirements are nothing big, honestly! Just the destruction of your new world!"
The childish voice cheered up, seeing that Kobi seemed to be calm now.
"Hmm! I see, destruction of this world! Nice, easy-peasy lemon-squeezy!" Kobi nodded his head with an innocent smile.
After a moment, his receded veins again popped out, "THE HECK IS EASY? WHAT LEMON SQUEEZY? ARE YOU FOR REAL? DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD? NOW AM I SOME DEMON KING OR WHAT YOU DIMPSHIT!" Kobi gasped again, the veins on his forehead threatening to burst.
"Uwaaah!"
"Oh, Oi! It's okay, it's okay! Don't cry, not angry, I am not angry! Calm down!! Breathe easy! Breathe easy!" Kobi sweated buckets, he wasn't the type who loved hearing the cries of children. He was a sane man, alright?
He lived in a good family, had wonderful parents, a few scummy but still kind brothers and two sisters. One hotter than fire whilst the other, the one younger than him, more adorable than a teddy.
Sigh! Sadly, his older sister was just too hot... so when he went out with her, showing her around the city after she returned from overseas, his girlffriend just happened to see them and instead of crying home, the girl came charging over, smacking the poor soul right on the cheek‐ in front of his sister.
And as she pointed her slender finger at his sister, she cursed she wouldn't live past the month.
He still remembered those detestful eyes of the passerby's and the mocking laughter of his sister consoling him back home.
"Re-really?" The system asked timidly.
"Y-yea! So just calm down and don't cry again? Alright? Now tell me, where is your mommy-daddy? I wanna give them a piece of my min– ahem! ahem! I mean I want to question their sanity for sending a kid to deal with me." Kobi smiled again, his lips twitching.
Shouldn't he be the one crying instead? Shouldn't he be protesting instead? So why was he the one having to console.
"Mommy? Daddy? I don't have that. The system is one and unique, and you're the very first host of the system."
'Poor kid... probably an orphan!' Kobi sighed in dejection.
"Noooo, the system is beyond such childish concepts!"
Kobi's lips spasmed, "You can hear my thoughts?"
"Yep!"
Kobi imagined the kid nodding his head foolishly and chuckled.
He collected himself and finally paid heed to his surroundings.
His eyes wandered left and right, spotting nothing but emptiness in the square corridor around him, the only thing he could see was the door in front of him.
"So... where am I and... you?" Kobi rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"Sh-Should I start the introductions?"
Kobi let out a heavy breath, closing his eyes to collect himself before shooting them open, firmly, he nodded his head, "Go ahead!"
"Alright, here I go! Ahem! Ahem!
"Oh, you, chosen one! The one summoned from the land of pests and bugs! Be grateful, as you have been bestowed the chance for greatness and glory!
"Become the one and only in the universe to end the tides of evil!
"To surpass all strength that exists and to become the only overlord, challenges have been created from which your disgusting stench shall be purified!
"Succeed and rule all existence! Fail and you shall be thrown back to the swollen ass-hole from where you have been freed!
"Shatter your chains! Boil in the pain!
"And you shall be awarded... riches and power beyond any that could be wielded!
"Prove yourself and glory is yours! Reject me, and only a fart you shall own!
"Now, brave warrior! Go forth! And go on! This great gacha system shall be yours to own!
"And as a starting gift, to witness the power of this great system, this one generously throws a bone to you– you unworthy dog."
"..." Kobi blinked his eyes, his face shaped like a surprised kitty's.
'The Fuck...' Kobi cursed, 'Land of pests and bugs? Swollen ass-hole? Throws a bone? Unworthy dog?'
One by one, veins popped out of Kobi's forehead as he listed the vulgarities.
"YOU SON OF AN UNGRATEFUL WENCH! I WAS BEING SHITTY GENEROUS AND YOU FUCKING REPAY ME WITH THIS? DOG!? YOU'RE THE DOG! YOU'RE THE SWOLLEN SHIT-HOLE! YOU'RE THE PEST AND BUG AND THE DISGUSTING STENCH YOU SON OF ASSHOLE!"
Kobi's lips spasmed, his chest heaved up and down tiredly.
"Sniff...sniff ...Uwaaahhhh!"
"Holy shit?!" Kobi jumped back, "I get called a dog and the one who cries is you! Wow! I sure am impressed..." Kobi stopped himself from adding bitch at the end.
"Uwaaahhh!"
"Humph! Keep crying, I am not gonna console you this time." Kobi crossed his arms and looked away.
"Uwaaahhhh!"
"..."
"Uwaaahhhh!"
"Aww! Alright, alright! I quit! I surrender! Stop crying, be a good baby! Be a nice baby! Woohoo! I am so happy! I am so kind! I don't yell at all, what is yelling anyways?"
"Sniff! Sniff... really?"
Hearing the cowardly voice, Kobi sighed. His anger melting.
"Yea!"
"WOOHOO! Brilliant!"
"... Anyways, how did you even come up with this... introduction?"
"Oh, that? I just took it from somebody's novel on earth."
Kobi's lips spasmed. This childish system... just what could he say?
"And that... bone you wanted to throw to a dog?" Kobi's lips twitched, he took deep breaths trying to maintain his rationality.
Suddenly, a square box with question marks of varying colours on each side appeared in front of him.
"This is the gift, click on it and a random, first ability will be gifted to you! Hehehe!"
Kobi stepped back wearily, "You seem.... offily excited." Kobi gulped, wondering what else this system had in store.
"Oh! Even I have no clue what's gonna pop up! I am just the AI responsible for dealing with you, everything else is handed over to other AIs. Including skill creation and skill distribution. I have zero clues to those matters and... ignore the small stuff, come on, lets open that box!" The childish voice started an eager chant.
Hearing the system cheering in his head, Kobi shook his head, "Don't be more excited than me, alright?!"
A grin stretched across Kobi's face, his bright golden pupils shone dazzlingly.
Seeing that the time had come, artificial wind hurled out of the box, blowing back Kobi's blonde hair.
He grinned wildly and brushed his hair, "Despite everything. Lets try to have some fun in this world, shall we? Hahahah! Open!"