I never thought this would happen. I didn't know it would happen so quickly. Recently my friend Travis got into a car accident and didn't survive. I didn't know what to do because I was in the same car. I felt guilty, like it was somehow my fault. We weren't drunk or anything, we both have a driver's license and drive safely, so it couldn't have been my fault. It was the day of the funeral and I was having some thoughts while getting ready. "I can't believe I have to do this right now. I shouldn't have had to deal with this until we were at least 70," I thought to myself as I put on my suit and tie. My brother came in the room and sat with me for a while. "It wasn't your fault dude. Things like this happen and we can't do anything about it." I wish I could do something about it though. I don't answer him, as I'm sure I would've burst into tears If I did. I finish getting ready and walk out of the dressing room with my brother. My parents couldn't make it because they were on holiday, but I understood that. They need to take breaks once in a while. We sat in the church waiting for everyone else to get there. I headed outside because I needed some fresh air, when I spot a guy hiding behind a tree. He's wearing grey sweat pants with a white t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of Jordan's. They looked exactly like the ones Travis had. I walked up to him, but before I could see his face, he disappeared. I was too emotional to think about what just happened, so I went back inside. While everyone was taking turns for the open casket, I look to the side and see the same guy that I had seen outside. I was confused as to why he wasn't in line for the open casket, but I just ignored him. When it was my turn to go up, I couldn't stop crying. I felt so guilty for what happened to him. I stood there for about 5 minutes before walking away. My hair is pretty long, and it's the middle of summer, so i put my hair up into a ponytail and sit back down. I see my girlfriend walking into the church, so I immediately run to her and hug her as hard as I can. "I'm so sorry hun. It wasn't your fault that this happened." My eyes were red from crying so much, but she looked at me with a smile and kept hugging me. I decided to leave the church and we headed home. I couldn't drive because I could barely see, and I had to control my breathing so I wasn't able to drive. My girlfriend drove me home and stayed over at my house for a while. We were watching a movie while I tried to get my mind off of what had happened to my friend.