They call it "Spa Soup" and it is glorious. Kids love it. Grannies love it. Even I occasionally give it a try.
Just come to think of it.
Picture one of these never-ending days of summer stickiness, when the pool is a slippery screaming mess, and lifeguards whistle ever so often after incorrigible children who just won't stop running. And perhaps Noah lost his ball so everyone must pitter-patter with wet feet into the bushes to recover the trophy of joy. And Sophia sat on her sister's arm, so both are crying until one chokes on her tears. And Laila chewed a piece off Jerry's foam pool noodle, so he is much obliged to retaliate by biting her as well. And London is solemnly considering whether anyone would find out if he peed in the pool. If he did do it slowly enough, nobody would be able to see it or smell it right? Right?
It is on such days, that commendable clients like yourself may find a sliver of peace and refuge in our unpretentious spa of Bamboo Cove. Hidden just a few steps away, let your senses guide you to a misty haven of milk and orchids, where exotic birdsongs and exciting concoctions soothe your stiffest of nerves.
We offer many types of services here, including honey massages, botanical scrubs, sonic peelings, starfish masks, and lesser-known ones too, such as the Swedish whip, the deep-sea rebirth, and of course the Latin persuasion. Though nothing comes quite close to our specialty: Spa Soup.
The words to describe this singular type of brew are as abundant as they are few.
It has no distinct taste, yet no savor is left untouched. Its color can be crystal clear as cave water, the delicate yellow of a light jasmine tea, the luxurious silk of a golden syrup, or the murkiness of an overcooked clam chowder. Its multitude of prominent scents will enthrall your deepest senses and awaken the most unsuspected of sensations. Its ingredient list can neither be divulged nor guessed, for its true composition would make one lose their composure.
But what may its purpose be? An inquisitive reader may be compelled to ask, to which I respond: Pretty much anything! But for a jacuzzi-inhibiting germ like me, nothing beats all the nourishment one can get by indulging once in a while in some delicious Spa Soup.
After a day of fun in the sun, a bit of everything finds its way into our briny stew: the leafy mud from Noah's birthday party, Sophia and her sister's salty tears, Jerry's pool noodle and Laila's blood, London's not-so-anonymous urine, but that is not all… Let's not forget fecal matter that rinses off people who go swimming while suffering from diarrhea, chlorine-resistant bacteria, sunscreen and makeup that washes off your skin, hairs and boogers that fall into the pool, vomit and alcohol that was *almost* cleared up from last night's pool party, bodily fluids, bandaids, tampons, water diapers, bird feathers, animal droppings, frog eggs, pink eye, skin infections, E. Coli, cryptosporidium, giardia, and the ameba that eats your brain through your nose!
While the jacuzzi is bubbling all these troubles seem to fizzle away, but at the end of the day, when the frothing ceases and the last lingering foam clears to reveal the water that remains: we feast on Spa Soup.