Sorrow, Pain, Grief, Guilt, Sadness, Suffering, on the other hand, madness, happiness, joy, excitement etc... etc. in my opinion these are the different types of words. they represent different styles of expression in different types of the condition in humans. despite having these much variations the one thing remains the same, it occurs in human beings. that typical species having a complicated type of emotions. diverse beyond the sentences and words. make people left no choice but to flow with them. people are typical. mostly they can't hide their emotion. for example, if it's intense pain, they release by having tears in their eyes. while on the other hand, joy results in blush and excitement. people are worth living with these emotions inside them that can't be helped. it is our part, we are the part of the emotions.
the bad moment comes and goes likewise the good one. they come in random. who knows what is going come next? what kind of an unknown future to be experienced. ha! let it be. either its good or it bad the only thing remains is their memories. good memory is like sweet candy whenever you remember it fills your mouth with joy. likewise, the bod ones are poison, feels more suffocated. everyone wants to on the good side of the emotions and left all bad ones behind. sometimes it's tough. tough as concrete wall, you want to wreck it but you have only two hands might look difficult. some can do alone but for some it needs help. if so on don't be ashamed to seek help. if you hesitate it will become more complicated over time. people will help if you try. just you need to choose the right one for the purpose. I have faith if you try you can.
believe me,
this is gone end one day. for sure.
(Eric POV)
If I have more time. if I could ever have that moment, if he gave himself one more day, things might be different. I am sure, we who he considers as a family might help him. never leave him alone. we will be his healer, his medicine, and his best support ever, I guess.
'if'
this particular word was always
remain as question forever.
On the day of P'Frank's funeral, the environment was gloomy and dark. so much sadness and grief of losing him it can't be expressed in sentences. river of tears are flown all around the area and like everyone was drowning at the bottom. the pain is more intense to Freddie. he was like expressionless, no tears, no cry not facial expression. he was in that stage of mental health that was critical. I can understand why he was like. he saw the face, that face for the last time whom he respects the most.
helplessly saw him taking his life before his own eyes. aren't able to share P'Frank's inner screams. aren't able to hold his hands tighter, easily let it slept. taking the blame for something he was not responsible for. whatever happened that happens randomly no one was aware of that. if he takes blames all by himself that was wrong.
while looking beside Freddie.
sober eyes were all around his coffin. I saw P'Sammy silently weeping at the corner. speech less but fragile tears were falling like weeping water from stones. not having P'Frank in her life feels like being a wasteland with no plants or trees. not a single drop of liquid found in the land. a desert not much left just where ever you look you were surrounded by the sands
only. she was feeling worthless without him. she being like a stone until the funeral ends.
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1 weak after the Freddie parents got the call from the police. culprits were found. when they investigate they found that they were hired, men. it was later discovered that that was intentionally done by one of a fellow student of P'Sammy and P'Frank who considers P'Frank as a romantic rival. so much jealousy and aren't able to gain P'Sammy make him do this type of crime.
when police explain they charge sentences to criminals and the matter in court have a victory sign in favour of Franks family. charge files against them. they were prisoned.
besides the whole justice process, there were two people who were blaming themselves.
what happened can't be undone.
beside of holding what we went from we should let it go. but what they listened got it all messed up.
by just listening to what the police stated, the two of them found guilty inside of them for being the cause for all these P'Sammy for his violence and Freddie for his death. they were both suffering what happens to P'Frank.
after that day I rarely see P'Sammy interact with us. more like never seen us.
things passed seasons changed. what happened may not be fade giving us all scars it left. one big scar for not having him around us any more. sweet as a candy his memories are pure gold.
gems like Franks smile, making other laughs quicker than anything.
are now all just in our mind.
one more scar that was left for Freddie hate towards the queer community, Freddie never like any one of their kind. I can not blame him for that. what happened to him if happened to anybody else, maybe they also hate them too. I know it is not fair. because some of the people like them the whole community is not responsible for bad things. there are many people outside having a decent personality and pure mind. but you know he will not listen. if he ever can think out of the box someday. if someone comes up with something that makes his misunderstanding and misjudgement correct. if somehow he wants to listen, I can explain to him for sure.