Hey why don't you say anything? why are you always quiet? If you will be like this no one will talk to you. You should be this You should be that!! With screaming "Arghhhhhhh" she woke up. There says a going that she always used to say that" if i sleep then I am at peace as there will be nothing I will see that is going to hurt me" but she never knew that was her delusion.
Hii my name is TÅSÅLFÅ. I don't know if anyone's listening or not so I am writing all that's in my head and heart eating me up.In the morning I wake up with a hope that everything is going to be fine at school and every night I end up crying in my pillow doubting that maybe I am not good.I go to school and still I don't feel any excitement. I watch other kids at the school entrance waiting for their friends so they can go together in the school and here I am going to school with a hope that I will have a friend too. School hours always gave me heartaches you know why? Because no one talked to me and everyone in my class had friends . During class hours even teachers never gave me attention. Attention was only given to some popular students . There was one girl in my class who was a relative of one of our school teachers so she was treated differently from all of us. Trust me she wasn't worth all that care.She was good looking so everyone wanted to be friends with her.But you know what I always used to think how low my classmates are that they judge people by their looks.Then I said to myself "One thing I like about me is that I am nothing like you and I never will be".
Days went by but still i didn't had any friends. I was a very quiet kid so I used to get scared easily and cry easily too. I was too innocent.Talking about fear I have a lot of fears.I am scared of balls. So whenever it used to be games period I used to get scared whenever we played ball so everyone used to make fun of me . Look at her "such a scared -dy cat " , "such a crybaby" , "ha ha ha"..what other person could do about it obviously she will run out of the situation. And that day I also ran and that was the most Wrong decision I did in my life. I should have faced them and teach them a lesson but no i didn't had the balls to do that. So what I got in return Everyone continued to tease me at such situations. It would have not happened if only I would have taken a firm decision to face them .
One day in games period. My new handkerchief that my mom gave me fell down while I was playing so I said innocently with tears in my eyes" where did my handkerchief go away? what will I say to mom? she gave it to me with so much love" I was on the urge of crying and there she came, the girl i talked about earlier, teacher's pet and everyone's favourite. She started imitating me and making fun of me . Everyone in the class instead of helping me to find it were making fun of me. It ached . Everyone said to that girl,"you are so cool" and while leaving from there I heard it So I said in my head " No it isn't cool. Hurting someone isn't cool. No i don't like you"
Years went by and I landed in 4th standard.
It was first day of class and I landed in class with my head low because I knew the regular story that is going to happen. But little did I know that God is always with us . He indeed knows us more than we do ourselves.So today he decided to change the narrative of my life a little and guess what the next moment a new girl student came . Everyone was looking at her with a woahhh!! reaction as she was really pretty. Everyone was looking at her adorably until she came to my seat asking me if she can sit with me. There comes some badass people of my class telling her why she shouldn't sir with me and talked everything bad about me.And i thought she would listen to them but no she didn't instead she defended me .
She said to them , " Why you people are talking bad about your classmate? Don't you have shame saying such things about your classmate? You all are here together in order to live with love, affection and to help each other but seeing you all like this you are not doing anything like i mentioned."
The boy said "Hey you !!! You are new here I think you don't know who I am?" Banged on my table.
She replied," Umm i think you are a human but not a really good one" and here I laughed . Then she looked at me and said" atleast you smiled. You look so beautiful when you smile"I smiled and said "No i don't " She slammed my shoulder and said " Comeon they all know it that's why they tease you and silly you who doesn't even know" She paused and looked at me . She said " My name is Anne and would you like to tell me your beautiful name" I flashed her a smile and said "Hii my name is TÅSÅLFÅ " She immediately looked at me with her big eyes screaming almost making me scared" Your name is so good " And here i was trying to process what really happened . She started tickling me and I started laughing too hard and everyone in my class started looking at us thinking why Anne is going along with me not them .
But happiness doesn't last too long. That's why I prefer to be never too happy. One girl in our class who never liked me, Suzy, had an evil eye on us. So she did every sort of things but I never minded it because I knew Anne wouldn't pay a penny attention to a hypocrite like her.But all along i was playing myself. My heart broke again like always. Do you know why??