Osmond had a new goal now, but the path to achieving it was treacherous. He will need to cross the border and that meant he needed to be strong.
Osmond was now with Channing. They were reviewing what he had studied.
"We will start to learn meditation next week," Channing said.
"Meditation? Isn't that just sitting?" Osmond frowned.
"Oh no, it's not. Meditation helps to reach the deepest part of the mind and get the information needed. But there are risks involved," Channing warned.
The day after, Osmond was doing his sword training and basic training.
" I have learned that you will be learning to control your Zest so we will be adding sparring to your regime," Connor said.
Osmond didn't know what meditation had to do with training, but sparring meant meeting with him.
It meant meeting with Chadwick.
Meditation began the next day. Channing was sitting in a chair and had laid a mat on the floor. Channing told Osmond to sit on the mat, feet crossed.
"Keep your back straight, don't move, keep your eyes closed, control your breathing." Channing kept on shovelling him in information.
Osmond hated it. When his back was straight, his breath strayed. When those two were corrected, he felt an itch on his thighs. When all of them were corrected, he felt his mind straying. He saw himself peeing on the bed for the first time. He saw him confessing to Sophia. All things that were embarrassing, things that he wanted to forget flooded his mind.
Then he saw that. This time, it was more clear than in the dreams. He saw every strand of his mother's hair. He saw every drop dripping from the ogre's mouth. He could hear every wail and cry coming from around. He saw him throwing rocks and crawling in fear.
Fear.
Fear started consuming his very being. He felt his eyes getting clouded by darkness. He felt his heart racing like a waterfall. He felt his lungs being crushed. And then he opened his eyes.
He saw that the mat was drenched in his sweat. He struggled to keep his breath steady. He looked at Channing in confusion.
"Now you know the risks," Channing helped the boy to a chair.
"Wh– Why am I sweating just from sitting?" Osmond asked through his scattered breath.
"It is because of fear my child," Channing said handing him some water.
"Fear?" Osmond asked drinking it.
"Do you know how mankind survived from its origin even though we are not the strongest, fastest or largest being on this land? It is because of fear, child. Fear made us cautious. Fear made us flee from battles that cannot be won. It made us wise. But fear is also a dangerous emotion," Channing's explanation was grim.
"When we look inside, when we recall our memories with our full potential, we also recall fear. Because fear lies in our mind," Channing poked his head.
"Yet fear is necessary. So there is only one thing we can do."
"Train," Channing said placing his hand on Osmond's head.
"Train so that you will not be overwhelmed by fear. Train to control it and train so that one day control it."
"But how will I control it?" Osmond asked.
"By meeting with it, face to face," Channing looked into Osmond's eyes.
Osmond shuddered at that thought. It meant he had to see those memories again and again.
"I know it is going to be hard but I will help," Channing consoled him.
-----------------------------
Today was the day Osmond and Chadwick are going to spar. Before the spar, Connor called over Chadwick and gave instructions while whispering.
"Rile up the boy. You can say whatever you want."
Chadwick nodded to Connor's commands while grinning.
They got into their stances. Connor looked at both boys and shouted.
"Begin."
Osmond tightened his guard and looked at Chadwick. Osmond dashed forward but Chadwick evaded it.
"I see that whore boy has gotten better," Chadwick shouted, grinning from a distance.
Osmond heard it. He remembered their last fight.
"My mother is not a whore," Osmond screamed.
"Admit it. Your mother is a whore. She seduced my uncle and when she had you, he had no choice. You are a whore baby," Chadwick was grinning through each word.
"My uncle probably hated your mother. He might have hit her behind your back," Chadwick continued taunting him
"You take that back," Osmond raged.
"Or what? You will go to your mommy. Oh wait I forgot, she is dead," Chadwick laughed.
Osmond felt the blood rising to his brain. He felt his eyes popping. He felt his blood boiling and sweat steaming over his skin. He saw visions, visions of ogres, orcs and goblins. He saw Chadwick with them. He wanted to slaughter him. He gritted his teeth and dashed.
An elbow came to Osmond's neck and knocked him out. It was Connor.
When he woke up, it was noon. He was on the stairs with Connor beside him.
"Where is he?" Osmond jumped up.
"The class is over, here," Connor handed him a cup of tea.
The tea flowed through him, rejuvenating his mind.
"Do you remember what happened?" Connor asked.
Osmond tried recalling what had happened.
"Chadwick badmouthed my mother so I got angry. I don't remember anything else," he said in a confused tone.
"I asked him to rile you up. But I didn't think he would take it that far."
"But why?" Osmond tried to understand the motive.
"Rage," Connor replied grimly.
"Do you remember the first inn we stayed boy?" Connor asked.
Osmond remembered it. He remembered something similar happening there.
"Fear and rage, both are dangerous. But I say that rage is the more dangerous of the two. Because fear will only freeze you and make you a burden. But rage will take away your thinking and turn you into a feral monster," Connor's voice was still grim.
"So I need to control both my fear and rage?" Osmond was afraid of the burden he had undertaken.
"Yes and you can only overcome them by facing them," Connor replied.