BRANDON
"My Lord, these are the paperworks needing approval for the rest of the day," Xion, the newly-appointed squad leader under the platoon assigned for my command said as he placed a tray full of scrolls on the desk.
"Are the requests for supplies also among them? What about the armory report?" I asked, looking up from the set of documents that I'm currently looking over.
"The armory reports are tagged with a silver ribbon and the requests for supplies are with a green one. The red tags have the names of the newly-appointed soldiers while the white ones are the new regimens for training," Xion answered.
"I got it. I'll have Jet bring them over after I'm done with them," I told him.
"Have you eaten lunch yet, Lieutenant?" Xion suddenly asked.
I looked up again. "Lunch? It's already lunchtime?" I asked back.
Xion gave a small sigh. "It's actually an hour and a half after lunchtime, Lord Brandon… Sir Jet told me that he brought you a meal but you told him that you would eat later. You have been doing the same for the past week. I understand that there's a lot of work to do, but please look after your health as well…" he said with a caring tone.
I smiled back. "I understand. Tell Jet to bring the meal," I replied. Xion nodded, bowed once and left the office.
Among those who trained with me during my time in the Academy, Xion was one of the few who had been close to me. As the son of a Count, he and I were among the noble recruits. To keep order in the military, students from the Knight Academy all start training as foot soldiers without regards to an individual's social status. It was to promote equality and encourage skill over birthright in selecting the future leaders of the army.
I had been promoted to Platoon Leader just three months after joining the army. The promotion was due to my contribution in an ambush that almost backfired on our platoon during my first mission as a knight. Major Griffiths who had overseen that mission acknowledged my efforts and wrote a letter of recommendation saying that I can be a good asset to the Silver Jade Knights brigade. After that, I was given a test which I passed. That was regarded as the fastest time record that a recruit had been promoted from the past six decades.
Eventually, I had more missions with my own platoon and was able to gather more achievements. In under half a year, I was able to prove my worth as a Lieutenant of the Silver Jade Knights that Father commanded during his youth and was among those listed for possible rank promotion in the near future.
I know that there were and still are many around me who had been criticizing my gradual rise in rank. Some people believe that it was because of the fact that I am the second born of a Duke family that helped push my way up the hierarchy. I do not mind what they say because I know for myself that I got the rank fair and square. The knights who fought beside me during missions and inter boundary battles over the past year also acknowledge that fact. They did not have any complaints over my promotion but because I am currently the youngest Platoon Leader, my unit had been given the most work for the past six months. It's like an initiation of some kind though I believe it's running quite long in my case.
Still, I didn't expect this much work waiting for me upon my return. Perhaps the increase in workload has something to do with the next promotion. This might be a challenge that my superiors gave to me in order to see how much I can offer and whether I deserve a promotion in the near future.
I stopped working when my lunch arrived and I had a moment of peace as I ate. The brief break gave me the opportunity to think about the matters at home.
It had been a couple of weeks since I left the mansion and I still vividly remember the time when my brothers and I talked to Ava before my departure.
To our surprise, Ava genuinely apologized for all the trouble she had caused and promised that she will stop her attempts to take her own life. She also told us that she knows that we would be skeptical of her words thus she is willing to be under surveillance for as long as we wanted.
Her attitude was as formal as she had always been but unlike before at which she spoke with a clear monotone with her head bowed, she talked to us with her chin held high and her eyes looking directly at us. For a reason that we fully understand, it was I and my brothers who found it hard to make eye contact with her.
The talk was brief and awkward and it was mostly just Ava who spoke. Brother Landon just opened his mouth once, saying that he agrees with her words and she is free to do as she pleases. Grey and I ended up unable to say anything.
I was originally planning on speaking with her alone before my departure but I ended up losing my nerve. Instead, I asked for one of Ava's butlers to give me constant reports about her condition in the form of letters. Greyson also sent me a lot of letters and stayed in touch.
According to the last one I received, Sir Pearson was still continuing to live in the mansion's annex building to supervise Ava's rehabilitation. She had a hard time adjusting to the rehabilitation during the first week but with gradual improvements, she finally overcame the muscle weakness and was able to move freely. She spends her free time by staying in her room to read and took a lot of walks around the garden in Sir Pearson's company.
After Ava was able to regain her mobility, Greyson left home and returned to the Capital to catch up on his studies. Brother Landon decided to stay at home and made arrangements so that he could do his work in the mansion. He occasionally leaves when his presence is requested in the Capital but he always returned home as soon as he can. It might have been tiring but I am sure that Brother made his decisions taking all the variables into consideration.
Nowadays, I find myself thinking about Ava a lot. Her bitter experiences, my sins towards her, the documents in Father's will regarding the annulment of her adoption… Everything is happening in such a fast succession that I fail to adjust and keep up.
Brother Landon told me and Greyson that we would keep the contents of the will and Father's letter in utmost secrecy until we can decide what to do about it. Ava is keeping her word and focusing on the betterment of her health. She seemed at ease with the new servants and her needs are being prioritized by the people of the mansion. Thus, Brother Landon said that there is no urgent need to reveal the contents of the red envelope.
After talking about it the night before I left, it was clear that all three of us are against the idea of annulling Ava's adoption. We wanted her to remain as a member of the Krauser Dukedom, to be our sister always. We may have failed at the task of being her brothers during the past seven years but it might not be too late to save our relationship. This time, for sure, we will treat her right and express our sincerity.
Chewing a piece of chicken, I frowned at that thought. 'Treat her right and express sincerity'… It sounds so noble when put into words but it's easier said than done. Even now, I don't know how I should talk to her. Whenever I simulate the situation in my head, all I see is myself sitting mutely while Ava waited for me to say something amidst the awkward silence.
I couldn't help but sigh. In general, I don't have many experiences talking with girls. I spend most of my time with my fellow knights and people under my command thus I often speak roughly. My temper is also ridiculously short-fused since urgency is of utmost importance for military duties. I scold and yell at people on a daily basis especially whenever the new knights make mistakes. Yelling was necessary to exercise my authority since a lot of the arrogant new recruits and ambitious knights from higher noble society might not take me seriously if I don't rule by fear and respect.
Sometime down the road, I had begun giving Ava the very same treatment all the way to my habit of calling people names. I always pertained to her as 'that brat' or 'punk', the same words I use towards the knights. It didn't sit wrongly with me for those words are actually my way of showing that I care for them. Even though I often punish them and scream at them, I look upon the knights as members of the same brotherhood thus, every single one of them are my younger brothers next to Greyson.
I may have not noticed it but it had been a long time ago that I have subconsciously accepted Ava as one of my own and thought of her as important. I was just too stupid to figure it out and even gave her more reason to hate me.
Habits die hard and I know that my own tongue would betray me everytime just like the incident when Ava just woke up. It would be hard to control my temper and choose my words carefully before speaking. I did not care for things like that since my boyhood and asking me to do that immediately might be an impossible task. Thus, it really scares me what kind of words would spill out of my mouth involuntarily and cause me to offend Ava even more.
I have plans of returning to the mansion after one more week and take a two-day vacation. In order to face Ava in a more proper way, I would need to practice for the remaining week and perhaps ask a few knights with younger sisters about how they usually talk with them.
I sighed again. This is far more troublesome than my duties as a platoon leader.
"You seem to be sighing a lot, Lord Brandon… Is there something wrong?" Jet suddenly asked as he was pouring a glass of water. He handed it to me.
"Say, Jet. Do you have a younger sister?" I asked before taking a drink.
"I have two," Jet answered. "The first one is a couple of years younger than me and the second is five years younger," he added. "Why did you suddenly ask such a question my Lord?"
"Well… I'm just curious…" I told him, trying to sound nonchalant. "What do you usually talk about with your younger sisters?" I asked, exerting effort to seem as casual as possible.
"My sisters are really talkative so I don't really have to go out of my way to find topics to talk about. They prattle on and on about latest fashion trends and sweet delicacies from pastry shops and pesters me all the time to increase their allowances…" Jet answered with a nostalgic smile on his lips. "Come to think of it, it's been a couple of months since I last went home. They've been writing a lot of letters asking me to visit," he added.
"I'm taking a two-day vacation after next week ends. You can take a leave of absence if you want," I told him.
"Oh that is a pleasant surprise my Lord. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to visit home," Jet remarked in a cheerful tone, bowing his head politely. "Please call on little Jack once you finish eating so he can clear the dishes. I'll get you some refreshing sorbet since today is a little hot," he said and asked permission to leave. I nodded and gestured for him to get going.
After I was left alone, I went over Jet's words. Fashion trends and sweet pastries huh… Jet is actually two years older than me so that makes his first sister my age and the second one the same age as Ava.
Ava is not talkative but she's a girl like them. Will she also like sweet pastries and nice dresses? Would it be a good idea for me to buy her a few accessories? She dresses very modestly but that was just because the allowance that was supposed to go to her wardrobe was being embezzled by her maids.
After being reminded all over again about how the former servants treated her, I felt a boiling rage inside me. Even if Ava was only noble in name and we didn't show her any care, she's still a Duke's daughter. Those servants committed such blasphemy and bit the hand that fed them.
Ava was too timid to fight back but it is wrong of me to make that her fault. A victim being weak should not be blamed for the evil acts of the people around them even if they did give others the opportunity to exploit them. It was our fault in the first place why she became so passive to abuse.
"Really, she's so weak…" I mumbled.
Ava. What am I gonna do about you?
~~~
AVA
The past couple of weeks had been hectic. I spent my time eating well, exercising daily and working to get my health back under Sir Pearson's strict supervision. He may have a gentle personality but when it comes to rehabilitation, he's quite strict.
He makes me follow his regimen word for word and doesn't even allow me to skip halfway with the exercises even when I felt exhausted. He told me that if I exercise half-heartedly, it would cause a negative effect and make my muscles stiffen all over again. However, he always felt bad after scolding me and often asked Kathy to massage my arms and legs afterwards.
I have regained full control of my limbs and aside from taking leisurely walks around the mansion and taking consultation sessions with Sir Pearson, I spend my time in my room, listing down all the details I remember about 'The Lily and the Rose'.
With a week of working on it, I finally finished and compiled the sequence of the novel in order.
I had to admit that during my rehabilitation, I found myself doubting about meeting Yukina in the midst of my coma. Everything just started seeming surreal that I found it necessary to verify all the facts and convince myself all over again that Yukina was not a hallucination.
I remember the details of the novel as if I wrote it myself. Yukina paid that much attention in the making of the story and poured her heart and soul into helping Miss Asano during the writing period.
I made the necessary notes and had Kathy bring me encyclopedias and history books to compare the information from the novel to bald facts in records of the Gouveia Kingdom. The Kingdom, the territory, the history of it and the names of the places all matched accordingly. I also found records of the places and people I did not have any knowledge of but were confirmed to exist in the novel. That was enough to convince me that Yukina was not an illusion and that this is indeed a world based from a novel.
However, I have lived all my life in Gouveia Kingdom to think of this world as a mere book. The people here as well as myself are living, breathing people with blood in their veins. They are not mere 'characters' but people who would bleed when hurt and cry when saddened.
I will not make the mistake of thinking about my life as a 'storyline'. Instead, I will use the 'plot' that I know to my advantage. Things may or may not proceed the same as it did in 'The Lily and the Rose'. Many things have already gone in a different direction. It won't be surprising if circumstances have developed away from the original storyline.
I kept the raw manuscript of the notes detailing the events of the novel in chronological order inside a locked wooden box. I made sure to make the box look as insignificant as possible so that no one may take an interest in it.
For now, I went over the occurrences around the heroine Sophia. She was supposed to be currently living in a place called Mayberry Cove at the side of a port town called Seaside Shore after being picked up by a commoner woman. I have the exact location thus it won't hurt to go there and confirm that the plot went with the original on the heroine's side of the story.
My plan is to find Sophia myself and return her to her rightful place. The fake lady would not be necessary once the real one comes back thus it won't be surprising if I bring up the topic of shedding my Krauser name and returning to a commoner status. As a reward of finding Sophia, I would ask the Duke to give me permission to leave and shameful as it may be, I also wanted to ask for reward money to help with my transport to Riverdeen Valley and start a new life there.
Upon doing my research, Riverdeen Valley is the most promising place that fits my needs to pursue my ideal lifestyle. It is within the territory of Opal City, the only merchant-built city that has neutral authority. In order for businessmen to trade fairly without getting disrupted by disputes and wars between kingdoms, the city was built by merchants, for the benefit of merchants.
Since it's a merchant city, it is a place where people 'pass through' to trade, buy and sell products. The location is right in between the territories of the Gouveia Kingdom, the Utopia Kingdom and the Wintercombe Kingdom. It is in a very vulnerable location but thanks to the Trade Council, it had always been kept safe.
The Trade Council is made up of a collection of nobles whose ancestors left their countries several hundreds of years ago. They all hated the idea of wars and expanding territories and just wanted to spend their time peacefully as businessmen. When they found others who shared the same ideologies and principles, they pooled enough money to buy the land where Opal City is currently situated.
The name of the place was taken from the initials of the eight founders: Count Oasburne, Earl Phalam, Viscount Atif, Earl Lu Franc, Viscount Caesar, Marquis Iraldi, Marquis Teadley and Count Yaafe. They resided from different kingdoms and thus, they each negotiated with their home country about the idea of a Trade Council and a neutral merchant city that can guarantee the safety of products and goods amidst wars, famines and international disputes. That way, no matter how much the economy of one of the kingdoms dwindles after losing to a war or suffering natural disasters, Opal City can help them recover by using trade and commerce as a way to generate profit.
The existence of the Trade Council had been nothing but beneficial to all the eight kingdoms since its foundation, thus the countries abided by the treaty they had signed and avoided getting Opal City caught up in international disputes.
Because of that, Opal City would seem like a perfect safe haven but in reality, it isn't. There are a couple major inconveniences and risks to living there thus not many people are brave enough to build a residence in the city. I took note of each of the risks if I proceed to live there.
One, people of Opal City have no citizenship or nationality. As a territory that did not belong to any of the eight kingdoms of the continent, citizenship and nationality does not exist there. There's also no army or civil workers to care for the safety and welfare of the people who decide to live in Opal City. In short, the people of Opal City has no 'identity'. By choosing to live in the city, they chose to forfeit the right to seek aid, support and protection from their home country.
Two, there had always been a considerably high number of crimes in Opal City. Aside from the security by the gates that prevents entry to the armies of the eight kingdoms, almost everyone can gain access to go inside. Thus, Opal City is often targeted by criminals as a hiding place, making it dangerous to live in. Inside the city, businessmen and merchants are required to protect their own shops and stalls. The Trade Council only cares for the safety of the Trade Bank and the businesses owned by the families of the eight founders thus if you decide to live there, you are on your own. The families of the founders only facilitate the flow of commerce inside the city and has no obligation to protect the people living there. You may be safe from getting caught in wars but there is a danger of getting killed by runaway bandits, getting robbed by thieves or even raped and murdered.
As a teenage girl with nothing to offer but manual labor, it might be hard for me to survive there but thanks to the information I learned from the novel, I became privy to something that not many people know about.
Some decades ago, there was a group of villagers who lost their homes because of a tidal storm. They went to seek a new place to build their village at Opal City. However, they came to know the dangers of living there. As most of the survivors were not able-bodied, the city was not a safe enough place for all of them. Thus, the villagers gathered to Riverdeen Valley at the side of Yosemite Mountain. It was a place that was within the territory of Opal City but was not within the city itself. That place was Riverdeen Valley.
Riverdeen Valley was a very inconspicuous part of Opal City and because of the rumors that beasts and monsters live there, it was often avoided by the greater majority. The trails towards the valley cannot be travelled by carriage nor by horseback. One must walk to get there and trudge on complicated mountain paths. Once people reach the entrance of the valley, there's another challenge waiting. Yosemite River also run there diagonally across the borders of Gouveia and Wintercombe thus people must swim across or ride a boat to reach the valley. Just these tasks alone made the valley inaccessible to many.
With all the inconveniences, Riverdeen Valley was not the ideal place to live in but the villagers who lost their homes thought of it as the safe place to start over. They needed the neutrality that the city's territory can offer as they no longer had any trust towards any of the eight kingdoms. Their own fief leaders left their village for dead and did not offer any aid during the tidal storm. Thanks to that, they lost more than half the village population. They had lost their family and loved ones. That was the result of the so-called 'protection' that their kingdom could offer. They did not wish for that to happen again.
The villagers did a thorough research of the place where they want to build their new homes. They scouted the land and found out that the rumors about beasts was not credible. The vast forest in Yosemite mountain was indeed dark, lush and intimidating, but it only had a few foxes and bears who lives quite deep into the woods.
In order to ensure their safety from bandits and thugs, the people built their new village with a system in mind, electing leaders and disseminating duties to each individuals, may they be men, children, women or elderly. Most of the folks there were fishermen but after getting caught up in the tidal storm, they lacked the courage to go back to the ocean. They made their living by tilling the soil, planting crops and fishing in the river, selling their goods inside Opal City for enough funds to help build sturdier houses and infrastructures.
During the time that the novel-Ava was hiding out, she came across the village and the people there sheltered her for a few days. She had considered living there in peace but Alfonse Gouveia, the current King, found her and dragged her back to the kingdom. The village ended up getting destroyed in the process, making Ava fall into despair.
According to Yukina's memories, the villagers told novel-Ava that their ancestors have built their village fifty years ago. Even without considering the age of novel-Ava at that time, the village had existed for at least three or four decades in my current timeline. It means that the village is now completely livable to a normal person's standards.
The people there were kind enough to shelter a strange girl totally unrelated to them thus it won't be a far-off idea for them to accept me. It might be worth visiting the place. If I like it there, I can offer the village leader some monetary compensation for accepting me and buy a small patch of land to build a small house with a garden.
I was about to consult a book to learn how many gold coins I would need for the house and land when I saw the first young master standing near the bedside table. Startled, I flinched and almost let go of the wooden box sitting on my lap.
"Milord," I called, still in shock. "How long have you been standing there?" I asked with wide eyes.
I fumbled from under the sheets and tried standing up to curtsy. The young Duke suddenly stopped me. "No, don't get up. There's no need for a formal greeting," he told me.
I did as he said and stayed seated. "Good… good afternoon…" I greeted instead.
He smiled slightly. "Good afternoon to you as well," he returned the greeting. He gestured at the door before continuing to talk. "I knocked twice but you weren't answering. The door was unlocked so I made my way in but you seem too absorbed at what you're doing to notice me," he explained.
"Ohh," I breathed out. "I'm sorry. I was just…" I said and fumbled to hide the box somewhere.
"What's that box for?" he suddenly asked, making me anxious.
"This… this is just a storage for pens and writing aids," I answered.
The young Duke stared at it and I started sweating profusely. He cannot know about the contents of the box. Why is it that I didn't tell Kathy to lock my door? I'm so stupid.
"It looks a little worn down. You should keep your writing aids in a prettier box," he said. "Let me take a look at it," he suddenly added and started reaching for the box.
Panicked, I held the box out of his reach, resting it beside me and placing a pillow over it. "No, no. This is completely fine with me. The Duke does not need to concern himself with such trivial things," I hurriedly remarked.
His hand froze in mid-air and a complicated expression crossed his face. "I see. Sorry I startled you," he said, withdrawing his hand and standing straight.
I averted my gaze, at quite a loss on what to do. Now that he saw the box, I must find a good place to hide it later.
"Is it… still very uncomfortable talking with me?" the young Duke suddenly said, making me snap back to my senses.
I looked at him and blinked. "I'm…" I started but was unable to piece a sentence together. "I'm sorry…" I said instead.
"Can you stop apologizing for every little thing? Am I putting you in a predicament where you have to apologize?" he suddenly said.
I looked at him, unable to understand what he's trying to say.
At that moment, he placed a hand over his mouth and he looked upset. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Don't misunderstand. I'm not scolding you," he told me.
Unable to say anything, I just stayed silent. After I regained my mobility, the young Duke visited my room and gave a sincere apology about everything that happened so far. He said that he felt guilty for playing a key role to my sufferings and that he'll do his best to mend his ways. He was so sincere that I told him to put the past behind us.
Since then, he made the effort to share a meal with me when he can. I don't quite understand why but he also arranged everything so that he would be able to do his duties as the Duke without leaving the mansion. There were a few times he needed to go to the capital but he also went home immediately. He also pays me a visit as long as his schedule permits it. He must be so busy so I told him not to bother himself with visiting me but when I told him that, he looked visibly upset.
Even now, he looked quite perturbed, like a small child caught doing something wrong. I don't remember the first young master to be a person who openly shows expressions. He had always been intimidating and cold, with an aura telling people that he's no ordinary person.
"Did I… do something to upset you, Milord?" I asked, feeling anxious.
Upon hearing that, he looked at me and heaved a sigh. "I had an idea that this would be very hard but I didn't realize it would be this difficult…" he murmured.
"Pardon?" I asked, quite confused.
"Nevermind. I was just talking to myself," he answered.
Silence curtained the two of us afterwards and I felt suffocated by the awkwardness. Is he not leaving? Why did he even come here? This is killing me really…
"You… seem to be home early…" I remarked, breaking the silence.
"There wasn't much to do and I took the paperworks home," he answered. "I also want to eat supper with you," he added.
"I see… Kathy said that supper will be good because they procured high quality vegetables with Sir Pearson's help," I told him.
"That sounds nice," the young Duke replied followed by another long silence. In this case, I'm going to die from anxiety before I could formulate a plan to find Sophia. Why is he being like this really?
"Is there something the Duke wants to tell me?" I finally asked. Hopefully after this, he'll leave.
"No, I don't have anything to say in particular. I just want to check on you," he answered.
"Why do such a useless thing?" I blurted out without thinking and immediately covered my mouth as soon as the words registered in my brain.
When I shifted my eyes towards him, the young Duke suddenly had a bitter smile on his face.
"Am I not allowed to check on you? Sir Pearson always checked on you and you never asked him for a reason…" he said with a trace of bitterness in his tone.
"That's because it is Sir Pearson's job to monitor my vitals…" I replied, sounding confused. I don't know what to make of this situation.
"Then you can consider this as my job as well. I'm the Duke of this mansion and I need to know how-" he paused and seemed to hesitate before continuing. "I need to know how my sister is doing," he finally said.
"I… I see…" I replied, taken aback.
"Can you do me a favor Ava?" he suddenly asked.
"Yes?" I said. What is it now?
"I don't have the right to ask you to call me Older Brother and I'm sure you don't want to as well, but can you refrain from calling me 'Milord' and 'Duke'?" he said.
"Then, what should I call you? First young master?" I asked.
"No, not that as well. Can we not use official titles?" he said with a sigh.
Talk about putting a person in a pickle. Why is he suddenly acting like this?
"If 'first young master' is out of the options, I'm sorry but I can't think of anything else," I said honestly.
"You can call me Landon, just Landon," he suddenly answered.
His response surprised me so much that I flinched and almost fell off the edge of the bed. "I won't dare— kyaa!"
Young master Landon caught me in time. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked immediately.
"No, I'm fine, thank you," I said and quickly made myself presentable, sitting back on the bed and squirming from his reach.
"Is it too much of a request?" he said as soon as he stood right back up.
I stayed silent. Calling him by his first name... I wouldn't dare nor am I willing to do so.
"Then how about Sir Landon… You pertain to Sir Pearson Radcliffe the same way so it's going to be a lot more comfortable," he told me. "Can you try calling me that way?"
I looked at him, quite flabbergasted. Why is he doing this? What for? With an internal sigh, I decided to do as I'm told.
"Sir…" I said. "Sir La-" I stopped and reluctantly glanced at him. He encouraged me to continue. "Sir Landon…" I finally said.
He gave a small smile. "Well done," he said and reached out a hand towards my head.
I flinched again. It was perfectly involuntary but I can't help it. Whenever any of the Krauser brothers come close, my body reacts this way.
His hand froze in midair once again and he withdrew his hand. "See you at supper," he finally said.
"Yes, Milor- Sir Landon," I answered, quick to correct myself.
Looking a bit exasperated but otherwise satisfied, he turned around to leave. The moment the door clicked close, I collapsed onto the pillows positioned on my back.
What on earth was that? Did the first young master eat something weird? He's clearly not himself.
Somehow, his odd behavior gave me an ominous feeling. It went from my chest falling to my stomach, making me nauseous.
"Yukina… I don't have a good feeling about this… I really don't…"
~~~
LANDON
When I left Ava's room, I marched back to my office. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I gave a huge exhale.
That just took years off my lifetime… It was so awkward, I thought I was going to suffocate to death.
After Ava recovered and regained use of her limbs, I went and apologized to her. It was easier than I thought since I really felt extremely apologetic. I thought my pride was going to prevent me from apologizing sincerely but as soon as I saw Ava, pride or honor didn't matter anymore. At that moment, all I wanted was to gain her forgiveness. I also asked for forgiveness in place of my brothers. She didn't exactly say that she forgave us for what we did but she said that we should put the past behind us. I saw that as an opportunity to start anew.
Since then, I began exerting effort to approach to Ava. She was and still is very cautious of me thus I tried behaving in a way that she won't be too burdened. We started having meals together which turned out to be silent most of the time but at least she would be used to seeing my face.
Right at the moment, Ava is very similar to a small animal, like a rabbit who always cowers and treats everyone around her as a possible predator. I wanted her to be comfortable around me but I also have to keep in mind that if I get too pushy, she'll get scared and run away.
What I did earlier was an impulsive act. Before I went to the capital this morning, I saw her talking to Sir Pearson over breakfast, smiling very naturally. I suddenly felt annoyed. My brothers and I spent seven years with her and Sir Pearson had only been acquainted with her for a few months so why is there such a difference to the way she treats us?
Well, strictly speaking, Sir Pearson didn't traumatize her childhood and he was the one who saved her life countless of times but still… I felt a pang of something unrecognizable stab my chest.
I guess I felt impatient. I wanted to treat Ava as a true little sister and for that to happen, she has to see me as an older brother. I did tell myself to take it one step at a time but it's just so frustrating.
I felt like such a child; a little kid who wants another child he bullied to act friendly with him. It's so stupid and so immature.
"Ava won't act even more cautious around me after this, would she? Asking her to call my name… I must've gone mad for a moment…" I told myself and retired to my seat.
I sighed and pressed a hand to my forehead.
I don't want to tell Ava about the annulment of the adoption. Greyson and Brandon also didn't want anything to do with it. We would have burned it but the paper used for the documents have mana infused in it. It cannot be burned, soiled or destroyed in any manner.
I felt like such a villain for keeping her away from the freedom she longed for over the past seven years. I know perfectly well that Father wrote the truth, that Ava doesn't want to stay in the Dukedom.
However, none of us want to give up on Ava. All we need to do is convince her that the Krauser Duchy is the place where she belongs. That would be the justification for hiding the will from her.
"That's easier said than done…" I told myself and heaved another sigh.
Hopefully, things will get better with time. I should keep up with my efforts of making her comfortable in my presence. That is the only thing I can possibly do at the moment.
Let's take it one step at a time… Slowly… For Ava's sake and ours as well.