This year I swore that I wouldn't be like this but I just can't help it. My mother says it's because I miss him. But what does she know... Right? I haven't seen her for years. Maybe I should have spent tonight with her, it might have helped me.
I've been eating ice-cream since 3pm when I got home from work. I need more. But going out would mean seeing all of the loved up couples. Agh. I get up and but my converse on, putting my hair in a bun, because god it was dirty. I grabbed my keys and locked my apartment. I decided to take the stairs to burn off some of that ice-cream. And to avoid any couples in the elevator.I jumped in the taxi and closed the door a little to fast. Thank god I'm away from him now! I tell the taxi I want to go to the convenience store, and he heads to the closest one. On the way we pass the place I have avoided since that day. I don't know why I say it but I ask the taxi driver to pull over, so I can get out. He agrees and I pay him.
Once he leaves. I'm alone. I open the gate, and walk in. I follow the path that I've only taken once before. This is probably the worst place to be on Valentine's Day. I see red roses scatted around, probably from people earlier in the day. I finally find what I'm looking for and kneel down.
I just stare for a while, thinking if things were different maybe Valentine's Day wouldn't remind me of something terrible, and maybe it would be a day I would be celebrating with a person I loved.