My first alarm blared. Cracking my eyes open, I peered at the alarm and a big 5:00 peered back at me. Ugh. It was too freaking early, I had to wake up this early for my interview. Luckily for me, a new night club posted about needing a bartender. I had experience with bartending in a nonprofessional context, you could say. Pushing back any memories that tried to break through, I got up and stretched.
Walking to the bathroom, I began to brush my teeth. As I looked at myself in the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes made my eyes look sunk in. I tried my best to tame my hair, but it was sticking out on all different sides. Wetting it the best I could, I shook my head. Sighing, I left the bathroom and went to my little brown dresser. I pulled on a new pair of black boxers, my ripped blue jeans, and a grey fitted shirt. Checking the weather on my iPod, I shrugged on a black hoodie that donned a silhouette of a howling wolf, courtesy of my college.
Throwing the hood up, I put on and tied the frayed strings of my black pair of fake Nikes, and made my way toward the front door. As I neared, I grabbed my bag, and then went to my credenza to grab my keys. My fingers brushed against the letter that had been sitting there. Eyeing it, I was about to pick it up, when my second alarm on my iPod scared the shit out of me. Figuratively speaking. Shit that was the alarm to tell me I should've already been outside!
I ran out the door grabbing my headphones from out of my bag. Being that I worked at the little café down the street, I was able to afford headphones and the little iPod. Sadly, I could only use the texting app with Wifi, which the building luckily had for a small fee added to my rent. Not that I had anyone to text.
Turning up my music, I continued to trudge through the small town. The song hit me harder than I thought it would.
As I continued down a wooded path, the fresh breeze and smell of pine absorbed into senses. Memories began to push through the barrier.
"Beau!" A woman's soft voice yelled, "Dinner!"
I skipped back to the house from the side of the woods I had been playing in. The woods bordered our small home.The house was a beautiful wooden cabin with cameras and sparkly lights surrounding it.
I entered and the smell of pine, onions, garlic, and roast wafted into my nostrils. I walked past the mirror and saw my long black hair swoop down to the middle of my back, my bright grey eyes swirled with curiosity and life, and my twelve year old self smiled.
"There you are!" The woman, my mother, exclaimed, while walking to me. "What did I tell you about going near the border of our home. The woods can be a dangerous place."
"I'm sorry mom..." I muttered with my hair covering part of my face. "I won't do it again."
"Of course you won't." A deep voice said behind me. A hand was placed on top of my head and messed my hair up.
"Dad!" I yelled, jumping into his arms. "You're home!"
My dad stood there hugging me back with a huge grin on his face. His white teeth, with his usual little gap between the two front ones, shown bright. His black hair was near the ends of his ears in waves, and his brown eyes were soft with love, as he stared at me and then my mom. I observed he had a six o'clock shadow covering his chin and jaw. My dad was about 6'2, which was like a whole Empire State Building compared to me. As I hugged him, I could smell the sweat and coal littering his body.
"You stank!" I yelled, jumping from his grasp.
His dad chuckled, and his mom gave him a warning glare. She hated when I said something negative about dad's odor or appearance. She always says he works hard to keep our lights on and food in our belly's. I really didn't understand how, since I thought money basically grew on trees. I mean technically they were trees..right?
"Go wash up dear." My mother said to my dad and then whispered something in his ear. "Dinner is ready."
I watched as my dad grabbed my mom and kissed her. His lips touched hers and a small gasp was let out of my mother's mouth before she submitted to his touch, deepening the kiss.
"GROSS!" I yelled.
They quickly pulled apart and laughed. My mom's face was beat red and my dad couldn't stop laughing. His voice vibrated off the walls and warmed my belly. He was the best dad ever, and I always felt safe.
After my dad left and came back fresh and clean, we sat at the table for dinner. The roast was mouthwatering, and the mashed potatoes with brown gravy were like the cherry on top.
We all held hands and began to pray.
"Thank you father for blessing us with this wonderful gift of nutrition." My mother began, "We hope you continue to bless our household with love, health and prosperity."
We all said Amen and began to dig in.
After finishing the food, I stayed to help mom do the dishes, while dad retired to his study. During dinner, dad had looked really tired. I knew working in the coal mines were rough, at least that's what I heard, but I didn't know how rough. Every time he came home, I swore he had more cuts on his hands and arms.
Putting away the last dish, my mother gave me the look of "you better get to bed now, since you have home schooling in the morning".
I sighed. As I walked to the stairs, passing my father's study, I could see the small light gleaming from under the door. I knew better than to interrupt him.
I continued my long trudge up the stairs and into bed. I laid there contemplating my life. As I remembered back to my mom and dad kissing, a small nauseating feeling was in my stomach. I don't think I could ever kiss someone like that...at least not a girl. As soon as that thought passed through my head, my eyes went wide. I knew our family was religious and being gay was a sin. I had better get those thoughts out of my head. Shaking my head, I threw off my pants and threw the blanket on me. Something deep inside made my most private part tingle. I lifted the blanket and looked at it as it rose and was embarrassed. What?! I tried to push it down but it didn't go away. As I pushed it more, I moved my shaft and an electrifying feeling zapped through my body. Eyes wide I looked at it again. I put it in my hand and moved my hand down slowly. My heart was beating fast, and I could feel pressure building up at the tip. I moved my hand up and down faster, and a white sticky substance burst through my tip soaking my blanket. I let go and a loud moan escaped my lips. My hips jerked from me accidentally touching myself again, and my breath caught in my throat. What did I just do? I threw my blanket off of me and put it under the bed taking one of my extra blankets from my chest.
The next morning, I woke up early to catch my dad before he went off to work. He was tying his steel toed work boots on that had blackened from the wear and tear.
"Dad.." I said, as I got close.
My dad looked up at me and concerned washed over his face. "Are you okay son? You are never up this early."
"Yeah dad. I just have a question to ask you." I muttered, as my face became red from the thought of what I was going to say.
"Okay Beau." He said using his finger to lift my face up to meet his eyes. "What's going on?"
"Well.. I..I" I stuttered, "I d..d-did something last night." My face couldn't get anymore redder than it was. "I don't know what it was...b-but it felt amazing." I breathed the last bit.
My fathers eyes widened, as realization seemed to wash over him. He took my hand and brought me into his office closing the door behind him.
"Son. What you did is something we must not do." He said, in a stern voice, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor. -Thessalonians 4:3–4."
I sucked in a breath. I was so scared I was going to go to hell for one small mistake. A tear dropped from my eyes. My father wiped the tear away.
"A-am I...a-am I going to h.. h-hell?" I whispered, as tears continued to fall down.
My father took me in his arms and rocked me. "No, no, my son.." he whispered, "It will all be okay." He let me go and looked me straight into the eye. '"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.' Proverbs 23:13-14."
I looked up at my father, as fear and sadness crept into my heart. My father pulled me to a bookcase, which moved and showed a stairwell. As we descended, I could smell must and a hint of metal. Brick and dirt seemed to engulf us, until we ended in a small damp room that looked to be created out of concrete. In the middle of the floor was a huge wooden cross with cuffs on both edges and on the bottom.
I looked at my father, and was about to run, when his hands came down on me. I screamed and was put in a hold I could not break out of. He took me closer to the cross and held my body against it, as he cuffed my hands and feet. I was crying and pleading at this point. My cries echoed off the walls, and I hoped my mother would hear me. But my cries fell on deaf ears, as my father brought out a whip.
"This is to save you Beau" he said, as the whip slashed through the air.
The ending of the song blasted in my ear, snapping me out of my trance. That had been the start of my nightmare. A tear slowly fell down my cheek. I quickly wiped the wetness away and held my head high. I looked up and a huge sign and building came into view. Nightspear.
I had made it. I went to the door and knocked. I was greeted by a man with dark skin and piercing brown eyes. His hair was deep brown that curled around his head. He donned black ripped skinny jeans, and a red button up shirt. He greeted me and allowed me into the establishment. As I sat down and introduced myself, the interview began.
________
"..last question." The man said, his name being Carlos. "Will you be able to stop any desires to touch or get involved with any of our female workers?"
I laughed, and Carlos raised an eyebrow. "Oh..Um..sorry." I said hesitantly, "I'm actually gay...so..."
I looked anywhere but his eyes, until I heard him laughing out loud. His laugh wasn't high but wasn't crazy deep either. I felt it warm my soul. Looking at him, he laughed and held his stomach. A small smile crept on my face. Carlos' laugh was kind of sexy. I quickly pushed the thought away, as Carlos' eyes pierced mine.
"You are hired." He said, as he extended his hand.
I took it and gave it a quick shake. "Thank you so much!" I said with a smile beaming on my face.
"The only catch." Carlos said catching me off guard. "You have to start tonight. 9pm."
I nodded my headed. I had given him my schedule of classes, my café job schedule and finished signing the paperwork. Carlos gave me the tour of the club, and showed me the in and outs of the job. After everything was done, I thanked him and left the establishment.
Before leaving, Carlos patted me on my shoulders and had told me that the owner of the business was going to there tonight, so I have to be on my best behavior and best practice.
I quickly looked at my watch. It had already hit 12:30pm! Fuck I was late! I didn't think the thing would have gone so late. I threw my bag on my shoulders and started running. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! Mr. Bowman was going to kill me!