Kennedy
Dmitry fucking Petrov drives me crazy!
After our little blow-up in the cafeteria, the whole school's eyes were on me. I was humiliated. I watched, my mouth agape, as he stormed out of the room, leaving me there. Could he not have just played along? Everyone probably thinks I'm a dick. He's ruining everything.
It felt as though an intense pressure was building up inside of me and I was a hair's breadth away from exploding. So I ran out of the cafeteria. I don't know where my feet were taking me but I kept running until I wound up in the boy's locker room.
I slammed the door behind me and screamed. Tears streamed down my cheeks like mini waterfalls and my chest heaved with sobs. I collapsed forward, a row of lockers caught me. Without thinking, I punched a locker, as hard as I could. Blood slipped down my now cut up knuckles, but I didn't give a shit. I just sobbed because it felt like the only thing I could do.
The door suddenly opened and I bit my lip, trying to suppress my cries. I could smell him. Romeo.
"Kennedy? What's going on? What is your obsession with this vampire? Yesterday you bailed on us and got into trouble because of him. Just leave him alone, man," Romeo ranted and I bit my lip harder. I tasted blood.
"Kennedy? Turn around and look at me! What's going on? Why can't you just leave him alone?" It's then that I exploded.
"Because I just can't!" I screamed while turning around. I saw his facial expression soften when he saw the wetness on my face.
"I just can't, Romey," I whispered weakly then shut my eyes as more tears leaked out.
"Why, Kenny? Why? Make me understand! You've always hated vamps, just like me and your dad and any other werewolf. He clearly pisses you off yet you can't just leave it. And I see you looking at him in class. I know you're not listening to me because you're always zoning out while staring at him. Jesus, Ken, you've known him for all of what, three days? What is drawing you to him-"
"He's my mate!" It came out louder and more intense than I wanted it to. The room went dead-silent and Romeo's face contorted into utter disbelief.
"W-What?"
"He's my mate, Rome," I whispered and then the dam wall broke. My knees caved in and I sunk to the floor. I cried, harder than I have for a while. It hurts so bad.
I caught a glimpse of Romeo who was now frowning. He cautiously moved closer and slowly descended to a sitting position in front of me.
"Kenny, I...I don't understand. I thought you were straight..."
"Me too! I AM straight! I always dreamed of having a female mate who I'd run a pack with and start a family with! Not a boy! I-I've never looked at a guy like that before!"
"A-And he's a vamp...Being a guy is one thing, but a vampire? Kenny, that's not good."
"I know, Rome, I know! I don't understand why this is happening to me! Two years I've waited, two years I've been dreaming of finding HER not HIM! And he's what I get. What the fuck? It's not fair! Why is this happening to me? Why me?" At this point I was full on panicking. Romeo pulled me closer for a hug and I weeped into his neck.
"I don't know what to say, Kenny." He sounded so defeated. We pulled away and I wiped my face furiously.
"What do I do?" I whimpered and he frowned in thought.
"I too dreamed of my mate, and when I found her it felt like my life was complete. I couldn't even begin to think about rejecting her because I knew it would be too painful. So, it's almost impossible to just forget about him and ignore the fact that he's your mate. Not having your mate will cause you a lot of pain." I nodded solemnly.
"The thing is, Ken, he's a vampire. You know that you can't be with him. It's forbidden, mate or not. I know you're not some insane homophobe and if he were a wolf or even a human, you'd make it work, but this is different. Our kinds don't mix. Besides, you hate vampires and Dmitry seems to drive you nuts. I think it would just be best for you to really try and stay away completely."
"But how? I see him in every class? He's always there! I can smell him and feel him and fuck, Romeo he's gorgeous! I've never been attracted to a boy before or thought another male is GORGEOUS, but I can't take my eyes off of him. I bother him and cause shit because it's the only way I can be close to him. I-I crave it, and I can't just leave him alone," I ranted. Fuck this is a mess. My life was perfect until he showed up.
"You have to try, Kenny. It's the only way you're going to get over him."
"But I don't want to get over him...Well my brain does but my heart doesn't." Another tear slid down my cheek. Romeo let out a loud sigh.
"You know in your heart that you have to let go." He placed a hand on my knee, trying to distract me from the fact that my one and only mate who was chosen by something or someone out there will never be mine. The person I've been waiting for since even before I turned sixteen, but since I first learnt of mates, is now my enemy who I have to just try and forget. It's so fucked up.
"So that's it? I just don't get to have a mate? It's not fair, Rome. I wish this stupid fucking rivalry wasn't a thing! I hate him, but he's my mate, he's my one and only and I'll never get to say 'hey, everyone, meet my mate...'"
My heart feels like it's been crushed into millions of pieces. As much as it hurts, Romeo's right. I hate vampires and I could never see myself with one. But it fucking sucks. If Demi was simply human, things could be different but he's not human. I just have to accept that this is my life from now on. Mate-less. Alone forever.
"I'm so sorry, Kennedy. You can always find someone new. There's that community of wolves who've lost their mates, maybe you can find a girl-"
"She won't be my mate." Romeo bit his lip then took in a deep breath. Honestly, I'd rather be alone than be with someone who isn't my mate.
I slowly stood up from the floor and walked over to the sinks. Something needed to be done to cover the traces of heartbreak on my face and rage on my hand. The cold water felt amazing on my skin as I washed away the tears and the blood on my knuckles. It almost distracted me from my situation. But then the water cleared away and I could open my eyes again. And what I saw in the mirror saddened me. Bloodshot eyes and dried blood — that I had failed to wash away — from previously abused lips. Lips that have never been touched. Lips that were meant for my mate.
Before I could even think about what I was doing, the mirror was smashed to pieces. Shards of glass reopened the healed cuts on my knuckles caused from punching the locker.
The pain in my hands could never over-take the pain in my heart.
...
Two weeks have passed since my breakdown in the locker room. As much as I've been suffering, I've listened to Romeo and not once have I gone near HIM.
It's really fucking difficult when he's always there. I constantly feel his presence and his heavenly scent smothers me like the hands of someone trying to suffocate me. It's easier said than done, just ignoring him, but I feel as though I had been doing a pretty okay job. Romeo and I even eat lunch outside just so I can avoid him.
And yes, principal Ronan is off of our backs and yes, the students have stopped with the gossip and yes, I've cried myself to sleep many times because of the pain. But, staying away is the right thing to do. It just makes me feel like shit.
I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me that Demi seems so nonchalant. As much as I try not to look, sometimes I just can't help but spare a quick glance. He never looks my way, not even to glare. It's like he's just cut me off. It pisses me off that while he's getting good grades and reading novels, I'm suffering with him in my thoughts almost all of the time, even though I've stayed away from him.
It's so fucking unfair.
...
"Okay, class, I have an exciting assignment for you guys to do today." I'm convinced that our art teacher, Miss Williams, should've been a pre-school teacher. She's way too perky and animated for moody teenagers who just want to plug their earphones in and paint or draw whatever they like.
I've loved art since I was little and it's always been a way to express certain feelings and emotions of mine. This was the one period that I didn't struggle to focus in, even with Demi around, since I appreciate art and want to really do well in this class.
"Today I'm pairing you up and you're both going to paint or draw portraits of one another. I want you to really think about colours and how they portray certain emotions. For instance, if I were to paint Claire, I'd use lots of yellows and warm, happy colours because she's so bright and joyful. Get creative, okay?" She reached for her list and began calling out names. 'For the love of all things good I hope I don't get Demi.'
"...Dmitry and Kennedy...Claire and Parker..."
'Oh for fuck sakes! Somebody FUCKING KILL ME!' I screamed internally.
My eyes met Dmitry's and he had an equal look of disbelief on his face. Two weeks I'd avoided him and now I had to stare at and paint him for an hour. Fucking perfect!
"Uh, Miss Williams, I don't think our pairing is a good idea," I spoke up loudly. She frowned softly.
"And why is that?"
"Well uh, Dmitry and I don't exactly get along and we've been asked by principal Ronan to stay away from each other." I explained and the bitch just laughed. Are you kidding me?
"Oh, Kennedy I know about your little episode that happened two weeks ago and that's why I paired you two. I think this will be a great bonding experience and a perfect way to let off some stream. Now get painting, because I'm not changing my mind." I clenched my fists then grabbed my paints and a small canvas before walking over to Demi.
'This is not good for my plans of ignoring him.'
I sat down in the chair opposite him and I slammed my shit on the table. Without meeting his blue eyes, I placed my canvas on the easel and started mixing paints.
"You know you have to look at my face to paint it, Keller." That voice. I hadn't heard it in a while. It sounds like smooth, sweet honey.
"I don't need to look. It's kind of hard to forget such an annoying face that always plagues my dreams and turns them into nightmares." That was a big, fat lie. The truth is it's hard to forget such a beautiful face that always appears in my thoughts. A face that makes my dreams at night ethereal, yet melancholy.
"Wow, good one. I must say, it's been nice not having to argue with you. You actually listened and you've been staying away from me-"
"I'm not doing it for you." I finally met his eyes.
"Oh of course, you're doing it for yourself to protect your perfect, little image." I looked up and glared at him. God he's annoying. But man have I missed being near him. So many times I've been tempted to run onto vampire territory again just to see him. I yearn to be near him even though he pisses me the fuck off. Fucking mate bond!
We started to paint. I tried my best to keep cool and stay focused. I was forced to glance up at him every few seconds so I could capture his features. He's so perfect and I really wanted to portray him in a way that does his beauty justice. 'Fuck! Stop thinking like this, Kennedy!' I reprimanded myself.
We were both quiet until he decided to open his annoying, yet beautiful mouth.
"You're left-handed?" He asked.
"Yep." I simply answered.
"Me too."
"How 'bout that?" I answered with sarcasm. That is kind of strange though. What are the odds that we're both left-handed?
"I've never seen you so quiet. I do think I like the Kennedy who keeps his mouth shut more than the one who runs his mouth and picks fights." I stared up at him and scowled.
"Can you shut the fuck up? We were forced into this assignment so can we please just not talk and finish these paintings. We've done well with leaving each other alone, so let's get back to that. And just so you know, I don't 'pick fights' with people. Things were great until you showed up." I audibly groaned.
"Oh my, well I'm so special then! I told you two weeks ago, Kennedy that you have a little obsession with me. You could have just left me alone like any other vampire in the school, but no. You find me irresistible." He wore a smirk on his face. He was loving this. I'm more used to a rude, stand off-ish Dmitry, not a cheeky, smug one.
I stopped what I was doing and slammed my dirty paintbrush onto the table. He chuckled softly while choosing a different paint brush.
"You're so easy to annoy. It's funny. It's amu- it's..."
"Are you roasting me or having a stroke? It sounds like you're looking for the word 'amusing'." I could feel his death stare on me.
"English is not my first language." He dead-panned.
"Yeah well I find your struggling AMUSING." Another lie. I found his struggling to be adorable. I could practically hear his eyes roll and we fell into silence once again. But the silence didn't last long.
"If I annoy you enough, do you think you'll punch me again?" He wasn't being facetious. There was a seriousness to his voice and it sent a chill down my spine. After I hit him, I drove to my favourite spot to think and relax: a waterfall not far from our territory. And yes, I may have cried out of frustration and a tiny bit of guilt. I saw real fear in his eyes that day.
My eyes met his and he held a blank expression.
"You deserved that punch. If you're looking for an apology, that's not what you're going to get."
"I'm not. I'm used to being hit. It just spooked me because it reminded me of my past." I froze at his words.
"What?" I looked him dead in the eyes.
"Nothing. I don't need to explain myself to you. You don't know me Kennedy, you don't know my story. So I'd really appreciate it if you don't fucking hit me again, no matter how much you hate me."
"No promises." 'I promise,' I whispered internally.
I tried my best to put all of my focus into my painting after his alarming words. Kind of hard to focus when he's the fucking person I'm painting. My mind was racing.
What had this boy gone through?
"Okay, class, time's up. Time to present your portraits. We won't get through everyone this period so we can continue next time. First up, we have my lovelies, Dmitry and Kennedy. Show us your paintings, boys and tell us the reasonings for your colour choices. Dmitry, you start."
"Okay, well I chose to paint Kennedy in shades of red today." He showed the class and wow, it was incredible. He perfectly captured my features and of course he painted me frowning. He's talented, I have to give him that.
"Why red?" Miss Williams asked with curiosity.
"Well, every time I look at Kennedy I'm reminded of how angry he makes me. I guess you could say that seeing Kennedy makes me see red! And I really feel like the angry colour that is red perfectly symbolises Kennedy's raging temper. It really captures the ESSENCE of his rage." He explained it with such enthusiasm. What a fucking bitch. I was furious.
"Is my painting as red as the blood boiling in your veins, Kennedy?" He asked with a smirk and I clenched my jaw. He knows how to push my buttons. I took a deep breath and shut my eyes for a second then put on the fakest smile I could muster.
"My turn! I painted DEMI in lots of shades of blue and purple. Why? Because they're cold colours and it coveys how cold-hearted Dmitry is. Let's not forget, blue symbolises sadness and when I look at Demi, I just see a depressed, loner boy with no friends who just sits by himself and reads all day. Is my painting as blue and purple as the bruise that was left on your face, Dmitry?" He laughed loudly. That was the first time I ever saw him smile. Even though it was fake, his smile is beautiful.
"Well I personally think your painting perfectly matches my blue eyes, wouldn't you say? It's so nice to know how much thought you put into your painting of me, KENNY."
"Well let's not forget your painting is red! And what is the complimentary colour of red? Green! And who has green eyes? Me! Oh you're so thoughtful, DEMI." He glared darkly at me.
"Stop calling me Demi!"
"Oh boy. You two are something else."
And I think from that moment, Miss Williams knew not to pair us up ever again.