Things were just starting to get normal, then she found this very old book.
She isn't much of a reader; therefore, she wasn't prone to wanting to "check it out".
Iv however opened the book. The very first stanza kissed her neurons deep as a magnet would it's own iron and the concluding verses went straight down all her chakras as they came alive, fully operational. She just learned something new for real.
A new direction has her mind now set her to pursue.
She immediately picked up her maths set, scrambled some compass out in an excited-hurry, lest she forgets the image that just hit her.
She draw images and wrote formulas, pages upon pages, in utter ignorance but with confidence and ease. Twas as if she knew what she was doing or that she had been waiting for this breakthrough all her life.
It took her about 18 months to do the full blueprint of whatever image flashed her memories anew. Her family had given up on her thinking she was off her medicine. Her boyfriend silently went his way. She didn't need their help anyway. They couldn't help her even if they tried all the possible possibilities. Maybe not until her mission was ripe, for she herself didn't know that end from this begining.
She hadn't read the book since then, it was like all the antiquities she had been gathering was all she needed in this workshop of hers. The only tangible blessing her mom left behind.
Subsequently, sunlight eludes her all this while, she's been buried in work, feeding of water and vegetables from her indoor garden. Her family occasionally bring food to her but she hardly eats, for they are "cooked". They also uses this means to see if she still breaths. She likes to be left alone with her thoughts and her work even before now.
It was after the completion of the blueprint that she ran out of fuel. Right after she made the last drawing. It was like the spirit left her and she became whole again. She felt like she had been dissected into cells and atoms during this period. She thought she's just been in there for a couple of hours. So she rushed right out for their usual family dinner. She barely noticed all what she had done around her.
As Iv tried running up the short stairs from the bunker, her joints didn't function as she thought it should, more like a little straining from standing and sitting all this while. There where no stairs calculated into her during this enlightenment period.
She also notice strange grasses growing at the edge of the stair case.
As she pushed out the door to the bunker, the golden sun of the evening kissed her forehead like goodbye would the evening star.
Coincidentally, that same very evening, there was an outdoor dinner for the entire extended family in memory of her late mom right in front of her bunker. Also to remember Iv in their prayers as they thought the losing of her mom had broken her eventually.
Suddenly, Iv burst open the bunker's door with such momentum she climbed the stairs with, she as a result disrupted the silence of their prayer and become the sole center of attention. The dying sun was right on her face. They had just seen a miracle like that of a soul reborn from the grave. They saw different faces glittering in gold. In Aww, they all shouted: "Umlaut Umlaut". She was shocked out of her soul. She ran straight to the rest room out of fear she must her wet herself while pondering circumspectly on what was unfolding.
After regaining a little more consciousness of her entirety, Iv washed her face and came right back out to take her place in the family's table. She found a place to sit on the table next to her Wicked Aunt and lashed out to grab a bite but just to be reminded by her immediate elder sister Tohan that prayers were not concluded but their father quickly signal her to let her sister be.
The food however seem a little bit strange in her mouth. They kept looking her direction every now and then trying to figure her out. Some many questions loomed.
Their father Mr. Phan, broke the deadlock and ask if she was fine. Iv nodded in agreement. Why does the food taste so weird in my mouth though? she asked.
Do you know where you have been for the past year? asked Ms Isosa, her father's Elder sister. Iv totally ignored her as she isn't much of a fan of her aunt's. She resent her for trying to separate her mom and her dad in time past and for showing her wickedness when her Dad wasn't around.
A voice from the far end of the dinning table then asked: what have you been doing down there? let's go and see. Then it struck her mind like reminisce would like when touched by the future.
There and then she read out the chapter, off hand, in an unstoppable and uncontrollable manner but with punctuation and clarity:
"Life is in-between two variables: the past and the future,
P=P=F2.
More like:
Played > Playing <> Fast-forward
=
What then is = Life?
Maybe these;
That which you can always relate to
That which you seem to control
And that which you might foresee
The past is fading memories
The present: are unfolding events
The future, wavering imaginations.
The past accumulates
The present spends
And the future's to generate
The past can be of help
The present is confusing
And the future ignites certain fears
The past is solid
The present is enduring
And the future is fragile
Nontangible stays with me
Nothings works without sight
I am diminishing returns
I happened
What goes around comes around
I wish
Planned and or unplanned
Things come and go
But some still farfetched
All things I own not
All things lie with me
All things take from me
Everything has me
I am everything
Everything wants me
Death is mine
Life is mine
Both are mine
Gone is mine
Here is mine
There is mine
Reminisce
Flow
Anticipate
The present is where the past and the future meet to share a mutual ground: YOU.
Make the present worthwhile so that what lingers behind and what lies ahead gives the middle man a good breathing ground; thereby making the tangible be enjoyed
Stuck in this continuous present,
with one man's present another's past;
The uncertainties of the future remain unchanged,
Yea, the future we speak of is here in this wavering and fragile present which defines both variables.
A man should keep his past close and the future even closer.
This way, nothing's far from reach.
But remember; life is today.
The world started with, in and at the present.
The past doesn't lead to today, the present shows how went yesterday, it tells you how far you've walked towards the future.
A wacked past mingled with a foresaw miserable future is a failing present
The illusions of the past and that of the future are both real only if the present gets in touch.
The present is where life really operates, the past is in memories and the future is a planned imaginations.
So make your present worthwhile, so that what lies ahead and what lingers behind gives the middle man a good breathing ground; that life on earth be sweet for you and all affiliates."
She immediately felt like the book will bring an end to all the void in her life, so she quickly ran towards the bunker in search of the book.