On my casual walk home, I began thinking how strange it would be
waking up to another naked stranger, part of me had hoped that
they were a couple before they had both turned,
but that wasn't any of my business nor work to readjust.
I took a big sigh of relief as I felt satisfied.
Satisfied with both my hunger, and in a way defying Asmodeus' wishes.
My mind seemed clearer and ready to take on whatever next step I needed to achieve.
Watching the couple together almost made me
yearn for such a moment though, to be touched in such a way,
and the thought of the hunter flashed in my mind once more.
Imagining the hunter and myself in such a position began to arouse me.
I shook my head vigorously and began running home.
"Leave me alone. I don't want to feel this.
This is not what I am meant to be a part of.
I am meant for one role, and one role alone; love and lust have no place.
Nor do any other human emotions."
I repeated this countless times until I was in the park right outside of my home.
It was calm and quiet; a sense of serenity in the darkness.
It reminded me of the first park I had awoken in. Where I met Sangui.
I didn't want to miss him anymore though, he was in the past now, a distant memory;
he meant nothing to my present, nor future self any longer.
Yet, I always pondered why I could never understand the reason
I was adopting these human emotions, or why they were becoming more difficult to dismiss.
Who was I trying to fool; I missed Sangui terribly, I missed the love I felt for him,
but it was fading, and that almost frustrated me just the same.
As I approached the outside of the building entrance to where my loft leads,
I stopped and pondered when Khalan will bring me my first hint of ancestral knowledge.
I needed to be ready to give my part. I searched around ensuring
I had not been followed as I did every time before entering
the building to where I now called home.
Yet, somehow, the hunter had known where I was, how could that be?
Then I proceeded forward, taking the elevator up.
As I entered into my doorway I decided to try and figure out Sangui's laptop
that had been collecting dust in a cupboard in the entryway.
Plugging it in, I realized what an expensive laptop this must
have been as it powered effortlessly on.
Of course, it was locked. He probably held so many secrets
and business information within this thing;
he never parted with it often, it was constantly in his satchel
that he carried almost everywhere.
Heaving an exaggerated sigh, I started typing things in that he loved,
like his favorite brand of wine, his favorite place to be, favorite travels; nothing worked.
Then, just for fun, I typed in my name.
I didn't know how to feel when that worked.
How stupid of him to use me.
It was a bittersweet feeling, but I was grateful it was
easier to get into his computer than I had expected.
As it unlocked, everything seemed empty.
There were no folders, nor applications, besides the basics.
Did he hold his information elsewhere? On an external drive maybe?
Hoping to find something, I opened different browsers
and searched through his history; wiped clean.
I crossed my arms as I pondered.
He definitely has to have all his information elsewhere,
unless he prepared for his death and made sure no trace of information was left of him.
Slamming the laptop closed in frustration, I paced around the
living room area with my mind pondering over everything I had
experienced not only within the last few days but my entire existence.
The only answers I had, came from the book I had been given when I first came here.
Scrabbling through my things, in my bedroom I grabbed the "Moroi" book
and my journal and sat on my bed, shuffling through it.
So many pages still left blank, and some I had written in.
Tapping a pen against my chin I started organizing sections,
trying to make more sense of my purpose.
The angels never visited or spoke to me since that night.
Did that mean I was doing things right, or wrong?
"Oh, my troubled little dove, I can ease your predicament.
I have multifarious knowledge and can make your search so much easier."
I'd be lying if I admitted to hating his company, part of me did
and part of me appreciated not being alone.
"I don't want you to help me, because I don't want to help you." I spitefully spat back at him.
"My sweet, sweet Azrael, you don't have to do anything
of the lustful nature if you do not wish.
Maybe simply a physical embodiment to assist you in your rigorous searches, to protect you."
His charming nature never seemed to cease with me.
"Asmodeus, I'm not stupid. I know you having a physical vessel
will halt the process of you being broken down.
That's not going to happen either.
I can find the answers I seek without your help."
It wasn't like I was in a hurry anyways, I had time.