Chereads / DIRTY BEAST / Chapter 38 - Chapter 37:  Something About Rocks And Hard Places

Chapter 38 - Chapter 37:  Something About Rocks And Hard Places

The Cripburn Complex, 1423 Arroyo Place, Southport, New Jersey.....

Silence filled the apartment of Charlotte Freedman as she sat alone on the edge of her bed with tears streaming down her cheeks. She had not taken the death of Victor Harlowe well and had already called off a for two weeks straight as she remained huddled inside her apartment accompanied by only her own tears as the full ramifications of his death truly hit her almost as intensely as it had possibly hit Savannah on the day they buried him. Charlotte had loved Victor with everything in her but he never seemed to feel the same no matter how much time passed or how many times he'd come to her bed. Feeling the crushing weight of her warring emotions, she lied back in bed staring up at the ceiling through tear fogged eyes as she tried to make sense of what became of the man she didn't ever believe she could live without.

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Redford Primary School, Southport, New Jersey.....

Years Prior....

When they first met, Victor was a rather nervous father whom had been escorting his then six year old daughter to primary school for the first time. He was six one and average in build aside from his height and wore a brown suit made from tweed with a maroon tie with gray stripes along it. He wore glasses, clear with thin dark brown frames. He had the most beautiful and sorrowful blue eyes that Charlotte had ever seen. She approached them in greeting when they reached the front gate before the other children rushed to get to their respective lines for their teachers to take role and lead them off to class.

Savannah was a beautiful girl about only as tall as her father's knee with beautiful baby blue eyes just like his and long dark curls that came to her shoulders. She had a big smiled filed across her face and her golden brown skin seemed to glow along with the rest of her as she moved about dressed rather nicely her school uniform and shiny black shoes. She held her father hand eager to join the other children while he did his best to check her over forwards and backwards as he adjusted the straps to her black bookbag before walking her further toward the gate.

Charlotte was impressed with how attentive the man had been and how much his daughter seemed to love him as she ensured she gave him a kiss on the cheek following his lingering hug before rushing off to join the rest of the students at her class line. Victor Harlowe looked positively green around the gills when she let go of his hand almost as if he'd have a full on heart attack right there.

The makings of a panic attack caught Charlotte's attention as she approached him stepping out of the gate while Victor loosened his tie and gasped for breath. She did her best to comfort him unsure why he'd been having so much trouble, his daughter had only been attending school after all.

"Are you alright?" she asked approaching him cautiously.

"I-I'm fine...or I will be...in a few moments." replied Victor.

It was the first time he had ever spoken to her and she never forgot a single moment of their initial encounter.

He gasped a few more moments closing his eyes as he let a wave of anxiety pass through him before turning his attention to the woman whom had approached him.

"I'm sorry about my unseemly display...I...it's been rather difficult for me since my wife's death." he admitted outright. "Vannah is all I have and it's getting harder and harder not to note her desire for independence."

"I'm sure she loves you." said Charlotte understanding. "She's just getting older."

Victor sighed.

"I know." he said. "She's been asking me questions about her mother quite a bit as of late."

"Does it bother you to speak of her?" asked Charlotte intrigued, but cautious about her line of questioning. "Your wife I mean."

"Not so much as one would think it's just...I don't exactly know how to explain her death to a six year old." replied Victor. "My wife's been gone ever since Savannah was three and she hardly has any memories of her."

"I suppose I can see why it might be difficult for you to be away from your daughter." said Charlotte understanding a bit of his pain. "But she is growing up, sooner or later you'll have to fill in the blanks."

Victor treated her to a rare smile despite it being a sad one.

"Well...thank you...for the talk." he said fixing his tie and heading toward his car.

It was an old brown four door sedan, but it apparently ran like it was suppose to and was in good enough condition not to be swapped out for the time being.

Charlotte smiled at him before he suddenly stopped her.

"Miss..." he began getting her attention just as she reached the front gate. "I would be very grateful to you if you could keep an eye on my daughter...her name's Savannah...Savannah Harlowe."

Charlotte smiled at him once more further impressed by his devotion to his little girl even to the point of enlisting her assistance.

"Alright." she said pleasantly. "You have my word that I'll look after Savanah for you...Mr...."

"Harlowe." replied Victor in that moment. "My name's Victor Harlowe."

"Well Victor Harlowe, it was nice meeting you." she replied. "You can call me Charlotte....by the way...Charlotte Freedman."

"You have my thanks, Charlotte Freedman." he said before climbing back into his car and reluctantly heading off to work.

She watched his car take off down the highway before venturing back toward the school.

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The Cripburn Complex, 1423 Arroyo Place, Southport, New Jersey.....

Presently, Charlotte Freedman was contending with the bout of nausea she was enduring due to her pregnancy. She couldn't manage the will to get herself up off the cold hard floor as she found herself once more swimming in memories of the past. She had missed Victor so much and her heart ached for Savannah and the unborn child she carried in her womb. There was still the question of whom had actually sired the baby she found herself anticipating as her mind traveled back to the handsome stranger at Victor's funeral that turned out to have been his long lost little brother of all things.

While she loved Victor, she did sleep with...if one could call it that, Ron Hemming seemed was well aware of her pregnancy given his demeanor at the funeral. She had not hated Ron, he simply gave her what she wanted in that moment and went on his way. He had no way of knowing that she'd been intimate with Victor nor should he have, no one had known about the endless nights of him coming to her apartment whenever he found himself alone while his daughter began to exercise her independence and stayed the night with her friends.

She recalled each and every time she saw him, drunk and emotionally vulnerable despite his best efforts to hide it. He stumbled into her apartment each night and sweep her into his arms before carrying her off to bed without so much as a word and she let him.

She'd been so enamoured with him that she couldn't seem to help herself.

After the first time, when they attended a Christmas party at the school, he'd gotten drunk around another soul for the very first time due to spiked punch at the party and stumbled toward the corridor where she found him slumped against a nearby wall and out of his mind as tears streamed down his cheeks.

He didn't know it, but he was the first man she'd ever been with in quite some time, as she'd been divorced and living alone ever since her first husband whom she knew since high school ran off with a younger woman leaving her alone and hiding her pain via work as a result of it. Victor seemed just as lost and heart broken as she was during that time and it only made their eventual connection all the more strong.

Once the nausea had passed, Charlotte elected to get up off the floor and freshen herself up. She didn't have much of an interest in life outside of her apartment as of late, but she knew she had to pull herself together for the sake of her unborn child if nothing else.

Charlotte brushed her teeth after flushing the toilet and splashed a bit of cool water on her face to control the puffiness of her eyes. She still missed Victor something terrible and his cause of death had been quite bizarre to say the least.

"Still moping about the apartment?" said a familiar voice from behind her.

She closed her eyes and opened them again before turning to see Victor Harlowe standing behind her with the same attire he wore before he left her house that fateful day he'd meet his horrific end.

"Victor..." she said unsure of what to believe.

"You're dreaming again...you know..." he said evenly. "Can't seem to let me go."

"How could I?" asked Charlotte as more tears began to stream down her cheeks. "You know that I was in love with you."

Victor seemed unphased by her sadness, he put his hands into his trouser pockets and sighed while leaning against the bathroom door.

"I loved only my wife and daughter." he insisted.

"Liar." she countered as the tears kept coming. "I know you felt something for me...you just don't want to admit it even now."

Victor rolled his eyes.

"What would be the point?" he asked. "I'm dead am I not?"

Charlotte sighed turning back to the mirror and splashing more water on her face.

"So what if I did....have some feelings for you..." he admitted out loud. "There is nothing we can do about it now....and you aren't doing yourself any favors by moping about in the dark."

Charlotte sighed.

He'd been right as usual.

"Live your life Charlotte..." he instructed her. "Forget about me and live your life....I know better than anyone what happens when you waste the time you do have when you could be with someone you love."

"I'm pregnant." said Charlotte blurting it out as she wished she had when she had the chance.

"I know." replied Victor. "I saw the test in the lavatory....when last I spent the night here....I didn't want to believe it...so I ignored it."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked as more tears fell down her cheeks.

"What would be the point?" he asked. "I have no claim over you and we both know that I'm not the only one you've been with."

"It was a mistake..." insisted Charlotte. "I love you...loved you."

"Bit of a moot point now isn't it?" he replied evenly. "You still had sex with...my little brother of all people and it's quite possibly his child growing inside you...not mine."

"I'm sorry." said Charlotte recalling her betrayal.

"Don't be." he replied meeting her sorrowful gaze. "Just live your life Charlotte...for no one else, but for your child."

Before she could get another word in everything faded and she was left sitting up in a pool of her own sweat in the center of her bed, early morning light surrounding her as she finally let go of the man she loved whom couldn't truly love her in return.

It seemed he had only come to give her a final message.

She was to go on with her life, without him.