I slowly opened my eyes,everything was blurry
"where am I" I thought
I closed my eyes and opened it again
"What happened " I said
"You will be fine, you just need to rest "
" nurse go tell her mom, she has regain conscious " the doctor continued
Umm entered the room with a red eye
" she must have cried badly " I thought
" Afraah, how are you feeling, what exactly happened " umm said trying not to cry
" I'm fine umm you don't have to worry "
"the doctor said I just need rest" I said trying to make her more comfortable
" mrs Abdullah, may I have a word with you "
" I have some new and improve medicines for your daughter " the doctor said
" I will be right back " umm said after she kissed my forehead
I seriously can't imagine the pain umm is feeling right now, knowing your daughter is about dying is so much to handle.
"Ya Allah relief the pain in umm's heart and grant her happiness and peace of mind "
"The pain and sympathy she has for me, Ya Allah relief her from it "
May no mother go through the pain umm is feeling right now
As I said a prayer for umm, Abu entered the room
" Afarah " he said coming close to me
" is everything okay " Abu asked while sitting on a chair next to my bed
" everything is fine "
" when will I be discharged " I asked
" are you missing home "
"No I'm not, I'm just missing my bed "
" this one is not as comfortable as that one " I said jokingly
He let out a short laugh and asked me if I have eaten, I quickly said no as I was starving
Abu immediately left to get me something to eat.
Not quite long the doctor entered and some nurses joined along with a tray which contained potato balls and some orange juice.
The doctor handed over a pill to me
" why is my medicine looking different " I asked
" this is a new one, and will make you feel stronger and will reduce your pain faster "
As I took my medicine, I began eating
Not quite long a nurse called the doctor and I was left alone.
Shortly nurse Khadija entered the room
Nurse Khadija has been the nurse taking care of me for long, I met her the first time I came to this hospital as a cancer patient and since then she would always check on me anytime I come for check-up or for situations like this
She is fair in complexion,a bit tall and fat
" nurse Khadija " I said
" Afraah my dear "
" how are you feeling " she asked
" I am fine "
We talked for long then a nurse came into the room and called nurse Khadija,
She switch on the tv for me before she left.
Eventually I later fell asleep losing track of time
************************************
Few hours later
I woke up feeling more stronger than I remember " the medicine works really good "
I noticed the television was offed
" maybe umm turned it off " I thought
I turned around and saw umm taking a nap on the couch
I looked at the clock which was hanged on the wall
" Subhan Allah " it's already 5pm I said
How did I sleep for so long, I thought I will wake up around 2pm and observe zuhur prayer but now I missed zuhur and Asar at the same time
" ya Allah, forgive me " I said
Immediately I got out of bed and went directly to the hospital mosque as I am already familiar with the hospital mosque
When I got there, there were just two women in the section an old woman who was using the Tasbih ( is a form of dhikr that involves the glorification of Allah in Islam ) and a young lady who was reciting the Quran ( the Muslim holy book)
The mosque is big,it has many shelves by the door side of the room, the first one contains hijabs and tasbih the second contained Qur'an, the third contained hadith and the fourth contains different Islamic book of reminders.
The walls are painted in golden while the floor was covered with different prayer mats. At the end is a large curtain that creates a border between the man section and the women.
The ablution section was by the side of the door.
I immediately performed ablution, took a hijab from the shelve and then observed my prayers
After I was done, I sat down on the prayer mat for a long time, thinking about my life
" I felt I was about dying this morning " my inner voice said
Ya Allah why didn't you take me, at least the pain would have reduced, the expense would have reduced.
I began crying
Tears kept dropping on the prayer mat
" what is the matter tifl (child) " a voice said from behind
I wiped my tears and turned around, it was the old lady
She wore a dark blue hijab, she is a bit fair in complexion, her face was wrinkled and had dark spots on it. She didn't have eyelashes and her eyebrows were barely noticeable, she lower part of her eyes were dark which looked like she haven't sleept for days.
" what happened "she said
I took a long look at her before responding
" Assalaam alaykum "
" wa'aliakumu salam "
" why are you crying " she continued
" nothing is wrong, I am fine " I said wiping my eyes
" it's okay tifl I know you don't want to talk about it "
" But remember Allah knows what is wrong and whatever is happening right now is best for you "
" indeed Allah alone knows why he kept your in such situation " she said
I wiped my tears before responding
" I have to go, umm is waiting for me"
" Jazakhallah khair " I said
I removed the hijab and kept it back on the shelve then I left.
Before leaving the hospital, doctor Nasir suggested some exercise that will strengthen my bones and also a nurse that will stay with me for situations like this.
I didn't really see a need for me to exercise it's not like it will increase my stay in dunya (world) because sooner or later I will die besides it's just the matter of some months and then i will be history,
Thinking about this makes me feel more sad and empty.
Soon we arrived home as the hospital wasn't far from the house
Khalil was playing video game when we arrived
He paused the game and asked me about my health, as I responded he resumed his game
I went straight to my room to observe prayer as it was already time .
As soon as I observed maghrib prayer,I took my medicine, and then took the holy Quran to recite
Ever since I got diagnosed with cancer, I became more committed to islam, I always say to myself If I'm to die I should die doing what pleases my lord the most,
perhaps Allah brought cancer to my life as a gift in disguise,maybe just maybe Allah chose me to have cancer so I can change my lifestyle and die as a good Muslim.
Think about this made me remember, how I was before all this happened, I remember how umm would scold me for snicking out of the house at night just to go attend a concert at midnight.
Remembering this made me laugh, " indeed Allah does what's best for his servant "
I continued reciting the Quran, not quite long I heard a soft nock on my door
" come in " I said in a loud tone making it possible for anyone to hear me
" Assalaam alaykum " zahra said as she entered the room
" wa'aliakumu salam " I immediately stood from the bed and hugged her
Zahra is a friend of mine from school, and a family friend as well, her dad and mine have been working in the same company for years.
She's fair in complexion,tall and a bit chubby also very friendly although sometimes I feel she does things for me because of my condition
" it's so good to see you " I said releasing her from the hug
" you too "
" how have you been " she continued
" as you can see I'm still as beautiful as ever " I said letting out a short laugh
" same old Afraah always talking about her beauty " she said letting out a short laugh
We kept talked about school memories, how we always get in trouble, the punishment and the horrible food they sell in the canteen
" I kinda miss school " I said
" I'm sure you are just missing the fun we had in school "
I was about to talk when the someone nocked the door
" come in " I said
Khalil entered the room and told me that umm is called me, as he told me he quickly left
"I will be right back " I said while leaving the room
Immediately I entered the living room I greeted zahra's father and went inside the kitchen where umm and zahra's mom were
" Assalaam alaykum " I said
" wa'aliakumu salam " they responded
" maa sha Allah Afarah is looking very beautiful and healthy " zahra's mom said
Zarah's mom is dark in complexion, her eyes are brown
" Jazakhallah khair " I said smiling
" umm do you need anything, Khalil told me you were looking for me "
" have you eaten " she asked
"Not yet"
" okay, there is food in the pot, I'm sure it will be enough for you and zahra "
" and don't forget to take your medicine after eating " she said while leaving the kitchen
I served the food in two different plates, I hardly share plates with people even though I know it's sunnah.
I took the food to my room and we ate immediately after we prayed Isha'a.
Not quite long after eating, zahra and her parents left