"Hey, look at that." Ash commented, squinting at one of Todd's photos. "That one has me in it."
Todd frowned. "Really? That one's a Pidgeot going through the sound barrier up near Cerulean."
"Really. In fact," Ash looked even closer, "There's my bag. Little red dot. Must have been the day trip to Sinnoh."
Misty pointed to another of the pictures. "This looks like Charizard and Pidgeot, one of those times we used them to get around. Where did you take this?"
"Off Cerulean Cape-"
"Must have been the Dragon King incident." Misty shuddered. "And I hoped I'd forgotten that…"
Brock shrugged. "Well, not a problem. If you want, we'll do our sparring nearby for you to snap a few pictures."
"You guys going to take the League Qualification Exam?" Todd asked idly, looking through his selection of pictures.
He particularly liked the one where Ninetales was coaching Togekiss on the use of high impact fire attacks – the rose and saffron flames interweaved beautifully.
Ash mulled it over. "Could be fun… do they let you take in any Pokémon?"
"No, you have to fight without any of your Pokémon, to prevent the use of strong Pokémon with an unintelligent trainer. They test something different to the normal Gyms, see. Though I must admit that most people who pass tend to do poorly on their first League challenge."
A shrug. "Well, I may as well. Let's see what happens."
The questions, it seemed, were determined at least a year in advance – they were exactly the same as last time. Though that did bring up its' own problems…
"In fact, it is a Jigglypuff, seen from above."
Ash raised his hand. "Question. How is that particular perfect circle identifiable from the other hundred or so perfect circles achievable from other Pokémon? And when will it ever be necessary rather than a party trick to identify Pokémon from their silhouettes anyway?"
The examiner straightened his clothes. "To answer your first question, the point of the year long course here is to allow the students to become familiar with what to expect. And the second-"
"Hold on a minute, that's not enough. Dexter?"
The Porygon materialized – Ash had noticed his friends were spectating from the back of the room, and they had his Pokédex with them. Correct. Partial listing of other Pokémon with identical silhouettes under the correct conditions: Squirtle, Wartortle, Kakuna, Sandshrew, Jigglypuff, Parasect, Diglett, Poliwag, Grimer, Muk, Gastly, Voltorb, Electrode, Ditto – need I continue?
The digital Pokémon shimmered. I note, however, that the last year of lessons' flashcard identifications have only used the answer of Jigglypuff. Could it be that this is due to the wish to make those who take the course here seem smarter and better prepared?
The examiner coughed, looking flustered. "Aherm. As I was saying, the possibility exists that there might be a wild Pokémon illuminated only from behind – that is, the light source is on the other side of the Pokémon from the human."
Ash chuckled. "Yes, because as we all know light sources mainly come from directly below the Pokémon, and the viewer is always in an aircraft."
A spiral appeared. Ash raised his hand again. "Is this Pokémon seen in a mirror? Is it a silhouette? Is it this colour?"
"Please answer the question."
Ash entered Spinda, and when the answer turned out to be Poliwag, had Dexter project images of Spinda, Politoed and the mirrored versions of two other Poli's.
Along with silhouettes of many, many serpentine Pokémon, coiled up.
"Now, this Pokémon has a firey tail."
Ash sighed deeply, and entered Rapidash.
"The answer is in fact, a Ponyta."
Dexter formed on his own this time. This is ludicrous. How is it determined you mean Ponyta and not Charizard, Charmander, Charmeleon, Chimchar, Infernape, Magmar, Magmortar, Moltres, Monferno or Rapidash?
"Could you please stop interrupting, it's not the time or place."
It is most definitely the time and place! My entire original purpose was to gather, catalogue and store information about Pokémon, you're making a mockery of it!
Todd snapped a picture of the scoreboard. "Never seen 'interfering busybody' on the grade rankings before…"
Ash closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the aura of the three randomly assigned Pokémon he had. Parasect, Mankey, Fearow.
Perhaps a bit weak to flying, but he could work with it.
The first examiner's Pokémon was a Venonat. Ash promptly sent out the Fearow and jumped on his back.
"Okay, listen. I'm going to be able to help you, so just dodge when I tell you and we should be fine."
The Fearow muttered to itself. Ash idly noted that his comprehension of Pokémon was apparently now complete.
"I heard that! And I'm not delusional." Ash's hand shot out to block a Signal Beam from the ground, producing a brief flare of green. "See? I can be a big help to you, once we're in position for a Drill Peck. I'll keep the enemy attacks off you."
"Was that Protect? How did you do that?"
"Long story. Very long – break right - story." Another attack howled past, this one looking more like a Bug Buzz. "Okay, when you attack you need to keep your front torso top, where my hand is, facing the Venonat. That means you'll have to spiral in, but I can keep the pressure off you while you do that. It'll probably look like the attacks are just being taken by you since they're not very effective, but I'll be the one blocking, or Enduring them."
"Protect, Endure and your order to dodge there makes me think of Detect. You're an impressively paranoid fellow."
"I try. And I've been attacked enough to make it seem the right choice."
"Right. Hold on." The Fearow went into a power dive, moving obliquely towards the Venonat to avoid giving it a clear shot.
Ash watched the attacks lance out from the ground, evaluating each and where it would go. That one was a Signal Beam… that a Psybeam…
As an electric attack came in, he let himself slip down the Fearow's wing to catch it in a Mirror Coat, trusting his own high endurance to electricity to let him survive it.
The attack blasted the Venonat hard enough to render it unconscious. Ash completed his slip down the wing and returned Fearow as he landed. "Thanks, Fearow. I don't know if you'll be needed for the next bit."
The second was a Drowzee. Ash sniggered to himself, gave Parasect his hat and pointed. "Fury cutter until he falls over!"
"Drowzee, Hypnosis." The examiner called. The Drowzee focused… and got nothing.
"Drowzee, I said Hypnosis!"
I'm trying, there's nothing to hypnotize! Is this a Dark type?
The fifth Fury Cutter hit home, and Drowzee surrendered before it got too badly hurt.
The last Examiner sent out a Hitmonchan. Ash whispered to the Pokémon in their balls for a moment. "Okay, I don't know what elemental moves this Hitmonchan has, so I'll try and be as alert as possible on the switches. Parasect – spore clouds, try and throw him off. Toxic'd be favourite. Fearow, see if you can get a Drill Peck to hit. Mankey, I think I can refine the release enough that you appear behind the enemy, hit then pull back."
"Come on, come on, we don't have all day… The examiner muttered.
Ash shrugged, and threw a Poké ball. "Fearow, around to the left!"
The Hitmonchan watched his opponent come in, then summoned electricity to his hand and threw it in a punch-
Red and white beams lanced out, and Hitmonchan contacted nothing but air. A pair of claws hit him in the back, forcing him to turn to face that opponent and charge up a Fire punch instead. He would be able to-
Beams of light again, and a Mankey's powerful Karate Chop lashed out at his comparatively weak legs. Again, and the Fearow made another pass. Again, and the Parasect created a thick haze of powders.
The Mankey fired in a Low Kick. The Fearow's Drill Peck sent him flying. But there was a pattern, and he'd had the chance to see it.
The next will be Parasect. Another Fire Punch began to charge-
And the Mankey volleyed in a powerful Close Combat attack, taking the impact of the Fire Punch and skidding backwards, before smirking.
The moment of respite allowed Hitmonchan to notice something was off. Specifically, he had been poisoned. Toxic. Quite some time ago.
And with that, he passed out.
The examiner was gritting his teeth so hard it was like he was trying to grind through them as he handed Ash the diploma.
Misty laughed. "Well, Ash, looks like you do have some ability to think things through. If that's what they were testing, anyway…"
"Hey! I'm perfectly untellagent!" Ash replied with a wink.
Ash frowned. "Do these breeding centres actually fit their name? Seems a lot more like a Day-care to me."
Brock shrugged. "Who knows. Though I have to admit, I'm confused as well."
Dexter beeped. Text message. James reminding you that he'll want his Weepinbell restored now he's caught it.
"Okay, let him know we'll be at the breeding centre Banana and Cassidy are running."
Misty grinned. "Is it me, or is it a little cruel that we never remember that guy's name?"
Ash shrugged. "His reactions are funny. And an annoyed enemy is one that's not thinking clearly."
The others stared at him for a moment.
Pikachu broke the silence. "Ash, I know how this shouldn't be a surprise any more… but when you start showing that kind of philosophical bent, it almost scares me."
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up…" Ash clapped his hands. "So! Shall we go and get that free meal?"
Ah, the restauranteur who likes Psyduck. Now that is something I could expect you to remember.
"Hey! Stop stereotyping me!" Ash laughed.
"Man, but this place is a real dump." Ash commented absently to the two Rocket grunts 'running' the breeding centre.
Butch and Cassidy both frowned at him. "What do you mean? The centre is committed to the welfare and development of all the Pokémon who we look after here."
Togekiss shuddered, and Misty gathered up the Pokémon to her chest, hugging her.
Ash continued, secure in the knowledge that the Rocket bosses knew he was an Aura wielder and hence telling these two wouldn't come back and bite him. "Well, their auras seem really close together, and my friends' Togekiss isn't reacting well so they must be really unhappy. Mind if we take a look?"
"Sorry." Cassidy said, thinking fast. "Since many of the Pokémon are only used to their trainers, they would react poorly to the presence of another trainer. I'm afraid you'll have to leave. Unless you want one of your Pokémon raised? That Riolu of yours could evolve in mere days if you left him with us."
"Yeah, no." Ash tossed something in the air. "Dexter?"
Stand by, ready. Set up. The Porygon formed, two Lock On beams glaring out of his eyes and zeroing in on the Rockets. Thunder Waves targeted. Please do not resist.
At that point, Brock came in the door. "Hey, guys, I managed to get the Officer Jenny here."
Misty frowned. "How?"
Brock shrugged. "After I introduced myself, she instantly began running after me."
The Officer skidded into the room. "So! You're the pest my clanswomen told me about – hang on." She reoriented herself. "What's that Porygon doing with red dot sights on those two?"
Ash rolled his eyes. "Sorry about my friend, Officer, he's just enthusiastic. These two are keeping Pokémon in appalling conditions, and they're also employing false advertising. This place is hardly a paradise for Pokémon."
The officer nodded slowly. "I see. But your friend IS a pest, over half the Kanto Officer Jenny's have mentioned him and it's clear he's obsessed."
Misty shrugged. "As much as I hate to defend him on this… he's actually nice about it. We joke, but he has a big heart and just loves every woman he meets."
"You're sure it's not something more… unsavoury?"
Ash smirked. "Brock, what is the distinguishing feature of the Mt. Moon area Jenny?"
Brock's eyes went distant. "Her caring personality, and her perfume, which smells like honeysuckle though she doesn't use it much when on duty. She also loves playing with her Growlithe when off duty and the two have a strong relationship as a result."
The boy grinned. "Would someone just interested in their looks pay that much attention to their more subtle side? Brock loves just talking to the Jennys and Joys he meets, and he actually listens to everything."
Brock then threw a sidelong glance at Misty. "Besides, if I did try anything, Misty would get me in the chops with a fish in seconds."
"You know it, rock-boy." Misty grinned, then kicked Cassidy in the shins as she started to sidle for the exit.
Todd shrugged. "Well, I guess this is where we part ways. I'm off to the mountains. Nice meeting you."
"Nice meeting you!" Ash replied. "Hey, don't forget to come see me win the Pokémon League!"
Misty sighed. "Unrealistic expectations as always."
Ash extended a hand to the Weepinbell in James' hands. "Right, here we go. I checked, and you used him against me enough to…"
Fwoosh.
James' voice mumbled something that Jessie's expert ears translated as "Thanks, but why did he have to evolve such that he's eating my head?"
"You feel nice to Grass types." Victreebell answered.
With a pop, James pulled his Pokémon off his head. "I was afraid that would be the answer. My Cacnea and Carnivine acted the same way." He turned to Ash. "Where are you headed next?"
Ash paused a moment. "I think we're due at Cinnabar, actually. Should be fun."
James raised a finger. "Don't use Squirtle in the main room. He gets touchy about the possibility of massive steam explosions."
"Right, gotcha. Pikachu for his Rhydon, Charizard'll be game for it, Pidgeot maybe… Yeah, I'll ask for a battle in the top crater rather than the main arena."
AN: I've never agreed with the characterization of Brock as a pervert or similar. It's too offensive for me to believe he'd have friends like Ash, Misty and so on.
Instead, I choose to see him as being just overly enthusiastic.
As for the Pokemon League school, that was naff. Really, really naff. In the anime, it's a place that seems designed to turn out either overconfident League challenge failures, or (potentially) Pokemon Rangers. All that 'work with any Pokemon' stuff is the job of a Ranger, whereas a normal trainer is the opposite.
It so happens that the Pokemon used in the "practical" part of the exam were randomly generated for this chapter. I think the results went well.