Chereads / The Dark Hearted Prince / Chapter 81 - Chapter 81: Despair

Chapter 81 - Chapter 81: Despair

I cried on the ground for what felt like hours, feeling so much despair about what I had done. I hoped that at any second May would wake me up from this nightmare and hold me again. May could always tell when I had nightmares and I hated myself for ever pushing her away when she tried to cuddle me. My sword rested beside me on the ground as I clutched the stone of Sudre tightly, realizing that all the memories I had where she was annoying suddenly became sweet and thoughtful. 

I couldn't stop sobbing at the thought of the last thing I said to her was denying her love. I wished with everything I had that I could go back and tell her how much I loved her instead of falling into my murderous instincts. But, magic like that was far more powerful than the great stone of Sudre, or any other object of power could fathom. I could only hear Theodius screaming monster in the back of my head and I broke to the thought that this whole time I had been cursed since birth to be the one to end the world. 

It made sense now why my parents and everyone else had feared me since I came into this world. I thought about the countless lives I've taken, the horrid plans I had for my kingdom and the forests, and how I had actually wanted to bring war because I didn't feel satisfied from just killing the monsters outside the wall while on patrol. I was crippled in disgust at myself and what a monster I really was. I even planned on using the stone to make myself immortal so I would be king forever.

'Fancy that. The stone can make anyone immortal but turning back time is a no-no.' My shoulders shook with my sobs and my mind went back to May. I had killed my only friend and the woman I loved. I now knew just how much I cared for her and of course, I realized it once she was gone. 'It wouldn't matter anyway... I'm cursed. If I didn't kill her now, then I would've killed her later because that's what I was born to do. It's the only thing I know how to do.' I thought, solemnly. 

Suddenly, I felt something touch my side and I looked beside me to see Saniel bumping me with his snout. I turned my head the other way again and spoke, softly. "Why are you still here? Didn't you see what I did to her? Leave now before I kill you too." Saniel stayed put and I turned to him again with confusion. I didn't say anything and Saniel's face was melancholy as he sat down next to me. I rested my head on the ground and let some more tears fall from my eyes.

"You were right not to like me. Why are you still here?" Saniel rested his chin on the ground next to me and didn't provide any hint of a response. I cried for a few more minutes until I heard another voice from behind me. "Dedrin?" I raised my head and was surprised to see Razerous stepping out from the cluster of trees. "What are you doing here?" I asked as I moved to sit up. Razerous looked at Saniel who had raised his head as well with a shocked expression. 

"I saw Saniel flying over me a while ago, so I followed him here. I didn't realize the dragon you spoke of actually was my brother." I would've yelled that I knew it if I didn't feel like I had ripped my own heart out of my chest. Razerous approached Saniel and his posture stiffened from nervousness. "It's... Been a while, Saniel. I probably look different than the last time you saw me, but, it's me."

Saniel only stared, making Razerous's nervousness increase. "I-I'm sorry I ran away... I just, didn't want you to see me like this. I um, understand if you don't believe that it's me, but, I just wanted to tell you that I've missed you so much." Razerous lowered his head and Saniel stood up and then licked his whole face. Razerous laughed as he wiped the saliva from his cheek and ran in to hug Saniel's neck.

Saniel nuzzled him back and tears of joy made their way down Razerous's face. I looked down and stared at the ground, trying not to sob again until Razerous noticed me. "Why have you been crying, Dedrin?" He let go of Saniel and kneeled next to me. I didn't want to answer him but managed to speak as I placed my hand over my face. "I... Found out..." Razerous's eyes widened and he suddenly hugged me.

I didn't know why he was willing to get so close to me, but his hug was comforting. "Why didn't you tell me I was cursed? W-Why didn't anyone tell me?" Razerous sighed, softly. "Everyone thought it would be better if you didn't know. Maybe then, you wouldn't have been pressured by your destiny and chosen something different." I whispered barely loud enough to hear. "I-I killed her..." Razerous's grip around me loosened. "CherryMay..." 

I couldn't help but sob again at the sound of her name. "I'm a monster..." Razerous remained still. "...I know a thing or two about being a monster... I've done things before that would make you question who I was." I rested my forehead on his shoulder as I spoke. "I don't even know who you are now."

Razerous then pulled away with a soft smile. "Where to?" My face became surprised and Razerous read my thoughts. "You are Saniel's master. No matter what, he will be there with you, and I will be with him. So, where do you want us to take you?" I hesitated through my sadness. "My kingdom." Razerous nodded and helped me to my feet as well as handed me my sword. 

The two of us then rode Saniel toward Reinthoria, and I found it hard to believe that I was able to go home. I should've been excited, but all I felt inside was emptiness. I could feel the massive amount of power from the stone as I held it in my hand, but I didn't care in the slightest about it. I had already found my source of power, and it was May who gave it to me. Now it was gone and nothing could replace it. 

I wanted to cry again but stopped myself. Crying wasn't going to bring her back, and right now I needed to focus on returning to my kingdom. Hours passed before I could see the Great Wall appear from the skyline, and I was surprised at how fast we had gotten there. Saniel was flying faster than normal, but I didn't think that would make so much of a difference. 

Razerous then spoke from behind me. "Where do you want him to land?" I was silent for a moment. "At the castle. I don't want to waste any time." Razerous's expression became concern. "What are you going to do?" I didn't answer him and he didn't push the question further. Truth be told I didn't know what I was planning on doing, but I knew that I had to go back.