Students around glanced at me like I did something wrong again. They surely didn't overheard our conversation but I'm sure they saw Carter's hard expression when he walked out. Even the Rellis glanced at me. But it was only very quick. I silently thank God for that. I just can't take the eyes of those intimidating people. It's too much.
I sighed and stood up. I don't know why Carter acted that way. His actions are really unpredictable. But what really shocked me was what happened earlier. First, how come he answered a question I only asked on my mind? I'm sure I didn't say it aloud. And he didn't even answer me.
Second, the strange change of his eyes. From bright sea green to dark. I know I have the strangest mind. But I just really can't ignore it. Was my imagination too wild? But Carter's reaction was too weird. Or maybe I just don't know him well.
The next day, I skipped two classes in the morning because I wasn't feeling well and I went to school late. It wasn't really ideal, given that my profs have quiet favoritism. I thought only the students hate me. But after a week, I realized even the elders hate me. Even without doing anything, they get annoyed with me. They would always find a loophole on my every move, find the flaws of my works. And now, the only person who was on my side was mad at me for my weird observations. Am I really that strange?
Thinking all of those made me feel sick. Dad called me later that night but I didn't answer it because I just cried. And I know he would sense the flaw in my voice quickly. The least thing I want to do is to make him worry about me. Before I went here, I knew it would be hard for me to adjust. But I didn't know it would be this hard. I didn't know I'd feel so disgusted of myself because of the people around me. I didn't know I won't gain even a few friends. I didn't know I'd be a freak to everyone in this town.
"Sweetie, can you buy some groceries in your way home?" Mom asked me when we had breakfast the next morning. Felix wasn't around. She said he didn't go home last night because he was following a lead of the town's latest crime. I don't really care about his whereabouts so I didn't ask more of it.
"All right."
"Anyway, how about acquaintance ball? Do you have any dress ready for it?"
About that... I still don't have any plan. Probably I won't go. How would I enjoy it, anyway? None of the students wants my presence. I might just ruin the night. Maybe I'll just stay on my room the whole night and imagine what was happening on the ball. A total shit.
"I'm not sure if I'd go."
Mom put some butter on the bread, put it on a small plate and pushed it towards me. "Cereals are too light. Add some bread. Um, back to the topic. Why are you thinking twice? That's a good opportunity to make connections. The more you should go on that event, Eve."
You don't understand it, Mom.
I sighed and continue eating my bowl of cereals, ignoring the bread she gave me. I always lose appetite every morning because the idea of attending to school never sounds pleasant to me. Who wouldn't be dismayed, anyway? Anyone on my feet will surely feel this way, too. Having everyone disgusted with you is never a good feeling. That in their eyes, you're just a piece of shit ruining the town's stability. Look how awful is that.
Outside, the sky was gray and dark. The temperature was colder too. I was still inside when the rain poured. Now I have another reason to absent today. I sighed and looked at the rain outside I was holding my backpack's straps, ready to leave but after the rain ruined my mood more, I don't think it was a good time to attend classes. I shut my eyes tight for a moment and stepped backward. A few more seconds, I was already on my way to the stairs.
"You need an umbrella?" Mom asked loudly. Tessa even offered to get me an umbrella so I won't bother myself going upstairs.
"I won't go to school today," I mumbled, enough for Tessa to heard it. I'm sure she'd tell Mom. I quickly walked past the stairs and then to my room.
It was a long, cold rainy day. The whole morning, I was under my comforter, reading a novel from one of my favorite American authors. I'm sure none of the my classmates nor professors would notice my absence. Maybe some would, but I'm sure they'd be glad. Imagine, the freak is away. Who wouldn't be glad about that?
"Did Mom left some cash for the groceries?" I asked Tessa when I went out five in the afternoon. I'm sure it's cold outside but the rain was gone. The cold is fine with me but not that the rain. I'm not really fond of rains. I hate when it is raining and I have to go outside. I hate walking in a wet and dirty road. I hate the loud thunders and the raindrops. I don't see nothing good in rains aside from it sustains the nature's life.
"Yes, Miss. Here," Tessa gave me a few paper bills and the list of the things I need to buy. "Do you want a company, Miss? I'm usually the one who buys the groceries but she wants you to walk around so you'd enjoy some time outside aside from going to school. She thinks you might need it."
"Thanks, but I'm fine alone."
I went upstairs and put thicker clothes. Fitted long sleeved under a white jacket. I think it's enough to fight the cold outside. Besides, I won't stay out for too long. After I buy the groceries, I will go home right away. Why would I stay out longer, anyway? I don't have friends to hang out with. I'm even thinking of just dropping in Edmonds. I don't think I can make it through the end of school year.
I barely made it for two weeks. How much more for a year? I'd probably lose my mind.
The mood outside was still gloomy, the sky was painted with gray and no sun can be seen on the horizon. It was almost dark and the temperature was colder than the last nights I spent here. If only Mom didn't ask me to buy groceries, I won't go outside today. It's obviously cold and... uncomfortable. Especially that I'm just alone. Riding on a cab, I can't help but remember how I usually spend my nights with some acquaintances. Night outs, dinner dates. I also remembered how Theo would ask me out every Saturday night.
Now, all of those were gone. Even with Mom's presence, I feel like I'm all alone in this unfamiliar, strange town. I even wonder if I'd ever learn to love this place, to be happy on what it could offer me, to see the beauty beyond the hills and valleys surrounding it.
Before I could think for more, my eyes widened when I saw what's coming from the west. A huge over speeding truck came approaching, unnoticed by the driver. My lips parted in shock and horror. But it happened too fast that I wasn't able to speak. The next thing I knew, the cab I was riding almost hit the lamppost and it's movement was unsteady.
But what made me terrified was the horrible sight I just witnessed. The truck didn't crash the cab like how it supposed to happen. Instead, it crashed the restaurant near the intersection.
Then I saw a familiar man across the street in front of a black, luxurious big bike. His cold eyes were looking seriously at the truck filled with smoke and the ruined part of the restaurant. His sea-green eyes were unreadable but very composed. It's like he wasn't even move by the accident happened in front of him. Like he didn't care at all.