My eyes trembled as countless green lights floated all around me.
I had found a nice spot to settle as night fell and I tightly clung to Dia as my body shivered from the cold.
The small green lights seemingly moved randomly with some of them landing on nearby plants and trees.
One of them floated towards me and I saw that they weren't just green lights.
They were strange insects which had wings that were glowing.
One of them landed on my arm and I watched in terror as a faint string of green light went from my body to the insect.
I quickly moved my arm, prompting the bug to fly away.
"Ah... Death's Messengers. It is said that they are drawn to those who are near death. But dying at this point is the same as giving up. Tell me, Zuri, have you given up?" Lham asked as he emerged from the forest deep.
In his hands, was a straw bag which was filled with things.
He sat before me before placing his bag down.
"Well?"
I shook my head.
"I take it you want to continue?"
I nodded.
"Good. As of now, you are shapeless, formless. It will be up to me to see if you are worthy of becoming a loyal Hand and so, for the remainder of your journey, I will accompany and guide you accordingly. Understood?"
I nodded, but the cold evening wind caused a chill to run up my weak body and I released what little contents my bladder held.
I desperately wished Lham hadn't noticed, but his face changed ever so slightly.
"Mmm… The truth is the most important thing to a Hand. So please, tell me yours." Lham said with narrowed eyes.
I tried opening my mouth, but even though I screamed at my body, it did not obey.
"Ah, of course. You must be exhausted. Here." Lham said as he peeled what looked like an orange.
He then offered me the naked fruit and after forcing my arms to accept it, I greedily ate the fruit to find that it was indeed an orange!
Lham chuckled for whatever reason before wistfully looking up.
"Eat up. I will tell you my truth while you gather your strength. Growing up in Agna as a simple farmer's son, I always wanted to be knight. They helped people and enforced the will of Summus after all. What better job was there? I worked hard for my father and eventually asked that he permit my journey to become a knight. Father granted me permission and I set out to Medelona. Unfortunately, my journey here was anything but simple. Not long after leaving my peaceful hometown, I was robbed by thugs, who left me with nothing but my loincloth. It could have all ended worse and so I thanked Summus that my life was spared and continued my journey to the coastal city of Litoribus with the hope of getting onto a ship and sailing for Medelona." Lham said before offering me an apple.
I hurriedly ate the fruit while Lham visibly recalled memories from his youth.
"As you can probably guess, things did not go very well. Litoribus is a cold city filled with selfish and cruel people. I was homeless and hungry, but my spirit remained unbroken. I eventually found myself at the foot of an temple. The priest there welcomed me and fed me along with the many other troubled souls under his care. I told him about my quest and do you know what he told me?" Lham asked while offering me another peeled orange.
I shook my head.
"He told me that there were far too many swords in this world and not enough open hands willing to help those in need. Those words shook me to my core. I knew that knights also acted as officials and protectors, but their true purpose was to serve in wars and battles. The priest left me to think about what he said and as the hours ticked by, I felt something change within me. My desire to become a knight had completely faded. I looked at the men and women in the temple and just as the morning sun rose, I stood up and spoke with them. I asked that they share their woes because even though I could not help rid them of their plights, I could at least offer them everything I had, an open ear and perhaps even a shoulder to cry on." Lham said before gathering some twigs and branches.
He then rubbed a long stick on a piece of bark rigorously for a few minutes. He took the little ember within the bark before placing it in the nest of twigs and leaves. He blew on the ember ever so gently and it wasn't long before a full flame rose from his hands.
He placed the small fire down and placed several twigs and branches on top of it.
"Days turned into weeks as I tended to the forlorn in that parish and on one fateful morning, the Priest handed me a pouch of silver coins. He told me to go to Medelona and seek the order of Hands. I knew better than to question his motives for he was a messenger of Summus and he knew what was best for a wondering soul such as myself. I thanked him before making my way to the port where I boarded a trading ship headed for the capital. My journey here was rather uneventful. The Tenvis sea was rather calm and so crossing it was as calm as one could hope. I had nothing but the rags on my back and so any thugs I ran into on the ship had nothing to take. I was beaten a few times, but I knew that it would be worth it as long as I made it to the order of Hands. I eventually found a temple in the coastal city of Serenumlatus and to my disappointment, it was home to a separate order of Summusists called The Tears of the Moon. You see, every region in Lanceberg is governed by one of the sub factions of the order. The Hands of the Sun govern all religious and spiritual festivities in Medelona, the Eyes of the Moon handle everything in Agna and the Tears handle everything in Aurenia. There is an order called the Black Moons, but they are… a topic for another discussion at another time. Anyway, the temple I found myself in happened to be an office which the Tears were temporarily using. They directed me to a temple of Hands and after introducing myself I was told to gather with the many other men and woman who wanted to be Hands. We were then sent here to the mountains and the rest is history." Lham said with a gentle smile.
"What about you, Zuri? How did you get here?" He asked as I relished in the heat of his small fire.
"My earliest memories are dark and lonely." I wheezed. The sugar from all the fruits made my coughs hurt a little bit more.
"I was a girl who had no sense of value. Not for myself and not for the world. I was the daughter of a reasonably wealthy couple. My dad was some kind of business man and my mom worked in the beauty industry- err… she sold dresses and the like. My early life was constant loneliness, but I didn't mind since I was well fed and well entertained. That all changed when my father fell into depression. I think something went wrong where he worked. Many of the workers at the house left and I started having to care for myself. I learnt how to cook and clean all while taking care of my father who grew angrier and reclusive as the days went, but no matter how angry he got, he never took it out on me. Years passed and my mother eventually moved somewhere else leaving father and I to ourselves. It's around this time that fathers started bringing his friends over. I'd make them all food and they would all play games together. I think my father was really good because every time they left, they would compliment him and shower him with praise. More years passed and we eventually moved to a much smaller apartment in a different part of the country where father continued his practice of inviting his friends over to play various games. I eventually learnt that they were gambling and I noticed that father was a really good gambler because he never lost. Father then got me into a good school where I worked my hardest to make him proud. This may sound tragic and all, but I never blamed my father for anything. He loved me and that's all that mattered."
Lham simply stared at me as I wheezed out my life story.
"We found a stability that lasted all the way into my later high-school years where I would wake up, make my father and I breakfast, go to school, study as hard as I could and run back home as soon as the bells rung. I didn't want or need anything else. This routine was more than enough for me. However, just like all things, it ended. One day my father brought home a man I didn't recognize. He was a tall man dressed pitch black suit. Accompanying him was another equally tall and darkly dressed man. They played a game of cards while talking about various things. I didn't mean to, but I overheard them discuss the circumstances that led to my father's fall in the business world. The man said that father had been kicked out of the company he worked for once allegations surfaced that he was exploiting many of the women who worked for him. Father told the man to keep his voice down so that I wouldn't hear, but the man simply chuckled became grabbing my father's collar and whispering something in his ear all while looking at me as I stood in the kitchen. The man eventually let my father go before challenging him to one last game of cards. The game ended as quickly as it began and my father fell over before crying on the floor. I rushed to father's side, but he didn't respond to my cries. The man then gently placed his hand on my shoulder before whispering that my father was an evil man. He said that I would be safer if I were as far away from him as possible, but I tightly clung to my weeping father regardless. He had lost so much weight that it wasn't hard for my arms to wrap around his slender body, but just as I tightened my embrace, something struck he in the head, causing me to fall over. My vision blurred and I felt someone pick me up. I tried calling out to my father, but he didn't even look at me as I was dragged out of our home. I reasoned that he didn't try and help me because he had no choice and I clung onto that idea as my body was thrown into a dark car which drove off in a direction I didn't know. I didn't resist or try to escape because I feared that the man would go back and torment my father further. We eventually reached a certain mansion where I was grabbed and taken to one of its many rooms. It's there that the man and I were left and he stared at me while I rubbed the bruise on my head. The man then said that my father almost cost him everything and that I was the price father had to pay for his recklessness. I didn't understand any of what he was talking about. I also didn't understand, at first, why he told me to undress. I did as the man said as hot tears covered my face, but the man quickly grew impatient and grabbed me before forcing my head onto the carpet…"
I stopped upon realizing that tears were falling from my face.
I didn't know why I was crying and so I turned to Lham to find that he too had a pained expression.
"You poor thing." He muttered before tapping his chin.
"You have already shared so much… you do not have to speak any further, if the pain proves to much-"
"No, I- Its not that…" My lips trembled as I stuttered.
I hadn't thought about it all too much, but my life was pretty terrible.
I had lied to myself for so long...
"M-may I ask you something?" I asked as fresh tears fell from my eyes.
"Anything, child."
"Why must everything hurt?"
Lham's eyes widened.
His eyes darted around or a moment before finally settling on me.
"Mmm… I cannot say for sure. We are but mortals and are bound to one day die. Pain is ultimately a reminder. Why do things hurt? Because the pain reminds us that we are short on time. The lives that Summus gave us are but temporary and one day our souls will return his bosom."
I nodded before lowering my head.
"Then all this is one… painful march back into the arms of a distant, but loving parent." I muttered.
"Beautifully said. Go ahead, lay your head and close your eyes. I feel as though your march has yet to get it's legs." Lham said as my head slowly fell to the cold grass.
"Yes, I can tell that you will become a fine Hand indeed."