I've never asked myself weird question like, what is life, not even once in my lifetime.I've been doing everything without complain like slaves.Some people don't want their hands dirty so I murdered people as mercenary.I ran away from my drunk mom around my childhood life begin and we used to live in somewhere illegal county-site.As the lowest life I through and after enduring so much starving, everything is so amaze and catchy my soul. So I worked to fulfill all of that desires.There's nothing but illegal things to earn money faster for a young one.When everyone around my age getting scholarship & studying, meanwhile for me, hardly made my living in the suburbaia of the big cities.Everything is going smoothly for a while, it was.
"Aah...Tsk...Tsk..."
I was thinking about my damn life while I'm in full of blood right now.If someone is not useful for their benefits, they shut their mouth, Such disgusting class.I regret I was serving for the people like that.But yet can't help that regrets are nothing more than regrets.
"Ahhhhhh....."
I scream disfigured like a dog.That damn killers gave me so much holes in my whole body.As if going on,I might be surely going to hell and repay my sins.If there is something called afterlife, I will kill all of "that guys" who should've never been to born in society.
"_"
It's so much hurt that I'm numb.I can't even feel my heartbeat properly.My heart got no damages, not even once even five men stabbed me.Maybe they did it on purpose so that I would be in pain like hell.Their iniquities are unmeasurable.Ahh...I'm feeling cold steadily.The weights of my eyelids are remind me that it's time to meet the Death.
"..."
Everything is dark and quiet as soon as I closed my eyes.Then I felt like floating or falling down from it's terrifying.Is it Death?
"....."
I heard a sound, or maybe not.No, I surely heard a sound.Sounds like heavy big step or clapping.
"clap...clap...clap...clap"
The sound is more louder and clearer.Its not foot-stepping, just clapping.
"Clap...clap...clap...clap"
"Great...Great"
My eyes are widely opened as soon as I heard the sound of woman.It feels like someone told me to wake up from a dream by force or ordered me to "Open up your eyes".And then the view in front of my sight is weird.I'm surrounded by the black squares which are seem like charcoals.On the top of that squares, there are red straight lines,wrinkles & circles.And I'm still wearing dress like before I was died and standing.There is a woman who is clapping and laughing, sitting on the big rock like chair or throne, right in front of me about five meters apart. Her dress is weird.The long and black dress till cover her feet,the light of red lines are on it.They're same with the lines on the squares.The long hair of hers also black and her eyes were covered by something like machine.I feel like I'm in the engine room with full of red lights of Sci-fi movies.And also feeling scared which is so much more than the first time I killed a person.
"A person who died with hate,anger and regrets, very good"
I heard voice of weird woman again and her hands are lean on the rail.
"Is this....Afterlife?"
"You're smart one, everyone before you were asked stupid questions like, what is this place, who are you bla bla"
I have no idea this is compliment or what but my instinct is remind me to act suitably with this conversation.
"Thank you"
"Oh...I forgot to introduce myself... I'm Millis, the Goddness"
She's neither the Lord of heaven , Indra, nor the Lord of hell.I don't know what to say that Goddness Millis things.There is no terms of use like that, Goddness, in the religion I've ever known.But forget it I'm not that stupid to blindly believe in the Bible I've ever read and not believe in my own eyes.
"So you're gonna judge me?"
"No...No"
"Huh?"
"This is not only afterlife but also my place.How can I say,like Goddness Millis 's Paradise"
"..."
"I summoned millions of people before but all of them are useless"
I realized this is not very simple as I thought.Otherwise, the Goddness chose my soul.But Why me?
I'm not sweating but feel like sweating maybe sweating inside my head.
"But... you're different"
"I am... different?"
"You killed so many people but they're all evil,none of good ones.And I also see no hatress while you killed them but you had so much anger when you're met the Death"
I stay still quietly.The Goddness is telling the truth.She knows everything about me and she might know what I am thinking right now.
"If there is afterlife,you will kill all of that guys who should've never been to born in society, you thought so right?"
The Goddness' words are resonating in my ears.
"Yes I did think that"
I don't think every courts would not that scary compared to this one which is checking the soul's cleanliness.
"Do you regret about your murdering crime?"
I don't know what to say I do or I sometimes I feel a little sorry for them but never cross in my mind 24/7.
"I don't regret about murdering but I regret serving the people who don't deserve it"
This is appropriate answer, I supposed.
"Good answer.... telling from your heart without lying.If you lied to me, I will throw you out by now.Most of the people before you are trying to hide their dark sides to the end.But you're different.You're smart enough to know exactly how to act suitably to the time and circumstance.
"_"
"So..."
The Goddness is moving her right leg up to the left and her right hand is up straightly touching her chin.I can't see the the Goddness' eyes because she covered them but I think she can see me.I felt it that way.
"What will you say if I say I offer you a job?Do you think you should serve for me?"
"If I say I don't think so, I might go to hell for sure"
She's smiling till I can see her teeth.Such a Terrific smile.
"How will I know about the soul that has not been here anymore, It's all yours"
"...Its a pleasure that a brat like me got the chance to serve you my Goddness"
I bow down to the Goddness Millis immediately.It's not wrong if you say praising.However, serving for the Goddness is much more better thah serving for that fuckers.
"I pre-expected that you will accept it but it's surprise me to see you that happy.Well, flattering to me"
When I looked my head up,I saw the Goddness Millis is pointed her finger to me.
"Then you have to incarnation in other universe(world/dimension)as my Apostle"
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