School always closed so early on fridays,
all Joshua cared about was for the bell that signified the end of school
pit-patter- pit-patter
His foot formed a rhythm beneath his table while his left finger drummed in accordance to the rhythm as he held his chin in his left palm,
He was a ball of restless energy
The perfect picture of a serene and attentive student
Paying no mind to the teacher droning on about numbers , he was already ahead of his mates in class,
so he just thought of how his mother would try to make it up to him today when she picked him up
It had been so long since his mother had been the one to pick him up from school
He missed their mother son dates, they always went somewhere new every fridays.
She was now too busy for him but he also noticed that his mother had not gone to work for two weeks now,
she had been sleeping more of late, looking tired when she came back from wherever she went with his Father.
They always said to not worry whenever he asked why they looked so sad at dinner,
so he planned on spying on them next time.
If they wouldn't give him any answers, he would find out himself
The bell rings out and Joshua is out like a bat out of class,
"Joshua, wait for me" Celine's shouts go unheard as he raced to the front of the school door with countless children of all classes, waiting patiently for the buzzer that opens the double doors leading outside the school.
The sound is loud as ever and like a routine everyone starts moving, pulling and pushing till it's a spill outside and the students start finding their respective cars.
Joshua spies his Mother's favourite car, the long sleek black car attracting stares as usual,
Amelia got it after a tough period in her life, they had just come back from their first vacation with one year old Joshua, they visited her hometown, Anjou, in the western part of France,
they saw castles, old chapels, walked down pedestrian bridges with their little child who seemed to enjoy the nature around them.
It really was an experience for them walking down the countryside with Joshua, her father's family had a chateau in Anjou.
So when they got back, she felt new and refreshed and decided that it was the start of a new beginning for her,
She went and bought herself a Buick Regal Grand National, the whole town had things to say about her getting a car like that,
As usual the Francis couple paid them no mind
Joshua sights his Dad instead in the car,
"Where is Mom? She said she would come pick me up " A crease already forming between his dark brows, his displeasure very evident
"Mom had to quickly go to the office,
she said to say she is making it up to you for sure, ok buddy" Jonathan's reply appeased Joshua a little but he was a little disappointed his Mom wasn't here to pick him up.
"Ok Dad, Let's go home" he entered the car and moved to..
"No buddy, we are going to meet mommy somewhere, buckle up please" Jonathan shut his son's door and moved around to the driver's seat, starting the engine and they follow the queue of cars moving out the school gate
"In my uniform? " Joshua buckles himself as he posed the question
"Don't worry, Mommy has a change of clothes for you at the restaurant "
"Is it Scrumlicious?, Or Patties Burgers?"
"What do you think, huh" Jonathan's raised brows teases Joshua who lets out an excited howl.
He loved Patties Burgers.
He got his father's love for southern grills, Patties Burgers served the best and authentic one,
He loved their burgers, with seasoned beef, minced just right, cooked just right on their smoke grill, bits of bacon and caramelized onions.
They reached the spot, and Joshua hopped out with brimming excitement,
It had been a while they went out as a family
They walk in together and Amelia is sitting at an empty table till she sees them coming.
"My love, I am soo sorry, something came up that I had to attend to" Her arms were already wide open for a hug.
Joshua loved his mother's hugs because she put in all her love when she gave you her "warm hugs" as she called them
"Ok Mom, only because we are eating burgers"
He replied cheekily as he went in for a
hug, he heard her take in a sharp breath when he hugged her
"Ok buddy, come sit down before the food arrives" Jonathan gently steered his son away from Amelia as soon as he saw her wince in pain.
Soon they settled into their meals after the waiters brought them out.
An hour later, they settled into his Mother's car,
listening to favourite tunes of his parents.
Joshua had become familiar to the songs so he nod his head to the rhythm while his parents sang along.
Even though his mother had been absent for a while,
In this particular moment, everything was just perfect in his world.
He was happy, His parents were happy
There was tension in the air that followed the moment they arrived, as the car drove into their open gates,
Palm trees flapping in the chilly night, the aromas of the potted sundews and Black eyed Susans that sat in a row, in front of the house,
Not even the atmosphere could douse the tension in the air
Joshua felt confused about the change of mood in the car, there was a strange conversation going on between his parents just with their eyes.
"Dad, did I do something wrong? why is mom looking sad all of a sudden?" Amelia had bolted out of the car once it rolled to a stop
"No buddy, she just had to go to the bathroom real quick. c'mon let's get you to take a shower before we come say Goodnight, Ok?" Jonathan held the car door for his son to step out.
He was worried about Amelia, she had suddenly become upset once they got close to the house,
The inevitable had arrived
He sent his son to his room to prepare for bed.
Joshua got ready for bed with his mother's strange behaviour on his mind so he decided to check in on her.
He walked the length of their corridor that led to their bedroom
"I can't do it Jonny, No I won't break my baby's heart, I won't, " Amelia wailed slowly as her husband consoled her
"Ok, We will tell him tomorrow night, We already decided to break the news to him together so we still have to tell him Melia" Jonathan tried to soothe her by
"I don't think I can do it Jonny, how am I supposed to tell him I will be gone" She said so softly that it was a struggle for Joshua to hear them clearly but time stood still as soon the words permeated the air and settled in his brain
He stood in shock for what seemed like seconds before walking in a daze to his room.
Curled up into a ball, rocking back and forth is how he was found by his parents some minutes later.
"What's wrong baby, are you okay?" Amelia rushed to check on him, putting her hands to his neck to check if he had a fever,
Joshua allowed only his mother the privilege of treating him like the child he was
"Joshua, talk to your Mother, what's wrong" His father echoed his mother's sentiments
"Is it true that you are going to die?" A startled gasp had Amelia putting her hands to her mouth in shock.
"Where did you hear that from?" Joshua could see the tears she was trying to hold in already forming a sheen in her eyes.
"Were you eavesdropping on our conversation? what have I told you about that bad habit?" Jonathan scolded his son
"I somehow doubt that's what's important right now Jonny"
"Amelia, don't encourage his bad habits just to placate him.
what he did was wrong. Don't ever do that again, Ok?" His harsh voice gave a stern warning to his son who looked on the verge of a breakdown at the indirect confirmation of his fears.
"It's true then, Mom is dying and you guys didn't want to tell me" Joshua hotly accused, betrayal in his eyes as he glared at them
"No, No,No baby, It's not that, I was going to tell you, I promise, I just didn't want to spoil the happy day we had today.
Didn't you have fun my love?" Amelia tried to reach out for her son but he evaded her touch, still choosing to curl in a ball,
in that rocking position
"Of course I did, It was the first time in a long time that you were not in bed, always sleeping
Is that why you have been in bed, you have been sick" The realization sent a new wave of shame over Joshua as he remembered how he sometimes threw a tantrum at his mother's absence.
Amelia senses it and reacts quickly, pulling him into a tight hug, she maintained his rocking rhythm
" My love, It's not your fault. you didn't know so don't even feel bad, mummy should be the one to feel bad, mummy has just been so tired but everything will be okay" She rubbed gentle strokes down his back
Jonathan tried to hold in his tears as he watched his family console each other.
He had not even gotten the time to properly process Amelia's diagnosis
A routine checkup after a cough that refused to go away had turned into several trips to the hospital to get treatments.
A chest xray later and the verdict was out
Lung Cancer they said.
By the time the treatments were over for the day, she was too exhausted to do a thing
Amelia always felt guilty about her noticeable absence in their son's life
They both didn't have the time to pay attention to him,
Salome most times ended up picking Joshua from school, her daughter attended the same school.
Now they just broke his whole world with this news after two months of neglecting him
His guilt of breaking his son's heart overshadowed his own world falling apart.
He was still in auto pilot mode.
He felt helpless as he watched them cry in each other's arms.
He had to find a way to find a cure for this cancer in her lungs that stopped her from breathing properly and got her looking so skinny.
It was a solemn morning after a night full of tears and sad explanations of the current situation to Joshua.
They decided Joshua wouldn't be going to school today
Amelia had decided to sleep in her son's bed, refusing to leave him alone
It seemed that now the news was out, the bond between mother and son was strengthened .
Amelia played with her son's auburn curls as he slept peacefully.
The only clue that his world had been upended hours ago was the frown he sported in his sleep.
She felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders at the same time felt like a huge boulder had crushed her heart
She delivered news that she never saw coming
She still remembered when she had been told of her illness,
right there in the office with Jonathan beside her,
Her first thought had been of the family she would be leaving behind.
She was very concerned about what would happen to her boys when she left,
It was too soon, she wasn't ready
There was no cure for her ailment
Her Jonny was so strong, she doubted he had time to even process the news.
He went straight to action, corresponding with other doctors, trying to find a cure
She had truly felt the full extent of his wealth
Treatments were the best she could hope for to kill the cancerous cells in her lungs
But she felt exhausted, drained after each treatment,
chemotherapy, they called it, they would introduce a new course of treatments, radiotherapy
she had become conversant a lot of medical terms over the last two months.
The air she had taken for granted felt precious each second she struggled to take a breathe.
Joshua had been up most of the night crying as Amelia held him till he finally exhausted himself to sleep.
A lot of thoughts were going through her head as she played with her son's hair, she wouldn't see the kind of man he would become,
What would happen to Jonathan, would he be okay enough for both of them,
her worry grew and she found it hard to breathe even less as she drew in shuddered breaths quietly, trying not to wake joshua up.
she had to find a way to stay alive for her family at all costs
Breakfast wasn't sunny or cheerful even though Amelia tried to lighten the mood.
"Joshua, a little birdie told me that celine has a crush on you, uhh" She nudged her son playfully in his ribs
"I don't know" Joshua listlessly pushed his food around on his plate.
She shared a look with Jonathan, urging him to try something to draw him out
"Amelia leave him alone, he is just shy" Jonathan said blankly as he buttered his bread,
"C'mon Dad, we both know I am not shy,
you just wanted to trick me and i obviously fell for it" Joshua rolled his eyes as his parents laughed at the obvious trap and high fived each other ,
"You are a very smart boy" His father said with obvious pride in his voice
"And my sweet boy for still indulging his father" Amelia said as she kissed his forehead and his father on the lips.
"Of course I am" Joshua replied cheekily
they were all suddenly laughing, smiling at each other.
Amelia took a photograph of this moment, captured the feeling in the air and kept it in her heart,
She hoped the sickness wouldn't take away her memories,
the frequent tiredness and racking coughs and shortness of breath, the weakness really got to her, filling her with this racing need to remember everything.
It felt like there was an invisible clock that loomed over her, telling her how long she had on this earth.
Leaning on the stove just to make pancakes, with Jonathan ready to catch her if she so much as dropped,
She looked at her family all smiling with no care in the world about their future.
Right in this moment, Everything felt right
Jonathan finally had time to take a well much needed sleep,
They had just come back from a round of her treatments two days ago so she was okay for now .
He worked from home now,
he had to hire a manager who was reported back to him every two weeks, his trusted and longest worker and friend, Peter Trenton
He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a decent amount of sleep
Funny thing, even as he realized this, he still didn't mind,
It felt necessary for him to make sure Amelia was okay before he could think of having proper sleep,
Her survival evaded his ever waking thoughts, it was all he could think of that he couldn't even of sleep until he got good news
Amelia and Joshua were playing in the living room,
It was a full breakfast for everyone , pancakes, eggs ,toast, sausages and a little jambalaya if you wanted, that was mainly for him.
Amelia had insisted on preparing breakfast this morning
"I have not been active as a mother and wife, I will cook for my family this morning no matter what" she looked ready to battle it out with him if he refused her so he backed down.
He watched as she leaned heavily on the counter as she cooked, breathing heavily as she tried to regain her strength
He was glad everything turned out well for his family's sake, it seemed like today would be a good day regardless of what looked ahead of them and he would gladly take this small victory.
He heard the thud before the scream,
Jerking up from his bed and sprinting into the living room before coming to a halt at the scene before him
His son stood calmly looking at his mother's soulless eyes that stared right back through him
"Oh My God, Amelia, Amelia, No, please wake up baby" Jonathan got on his knees and tried to shake her awake but her body slumped each time as her hands stayed limp at her sides
"What happened here Josh, start talking" He shouted at his son who looked like he went into shock before being jolted awake by his father's shout
"We were coming downstairs, we went to get my toys to play with outside and she slipped from the stairs, I tried to hold her but I couldn't,
I was too slow" Joshua looked like he was right back in the moment it happened
"Why did you want to play with your toys out?
It's supposed to be inside your room, I have told you that you don't play with your toys outside, dammit" He lifted Amelia in his arms and ran with her to the car, driving straight to the hospital
"Baby please look at me, Amelia" He kept calling all the way to the hospital with no response
Amelia Genevieve Chaumaont was pronounced death two minutes after she was admitted to the hospital,
They tried to resuscitate immediately at the scene but to no avail
The fall too fatal, it breached her lungs and restricted almost all of her airway,
She had been taking her last breaths on the way to the hospital
Jonathan watched from a small distance as the doctor on site pronounced her dead
"Time of death: 11:35am "
"Patient suffered a punctured lung from a fall down the stairs" a doctor stated as he closed her file in his hands
A Few Days Later
Joshua stood behind the stone pillars that held the church, after the funeral service, watching as some people spoke about how great his mother was, kind, a bright light in the community
He had heard some whispers about how they often spoke about his mother and why she was with his Father from his classmates who eavesdropped on their parents
"Mixed breed" they called his family but he ignored them,
He wondered what the point of all the good things they said, pretenders, all of them
It sure wouldn't bring his mother back,
Only the people from the Herb community truly loved his mother
A tall presence came up from behind before settling at his side,
"It still won't bring her back, all acting like they liked her.
Your mother was the best woman ever, I will miss her so much Josh" Sylvia squeezed his hand briefly before ceasing all contact
She tried to hold in an errant sniffle as she looked at him
she was a familiar presence who brought him some comfort, having practically been raised alongside each other
He knew how much they loved each other
She was the daughter his mother always wanted and he loved to see her so happy when they spent time together
Sylvia always tried to give him his space, a girl of few words herself
she knew he wanted space as soon as they locked eyes
"Thank you Sylvia " she left him alone to sit in a pew, keeping a watchful eye on him also
Joshua was so sad, angry at the world
He just didn't care anymore
He couldn't sleep without seeing the emptiness in his mother's eyes,
He wouldn't hear her voice with the sweet accent anymore, she was just gone.
Soon it would be time for the recession out of the church, his father would be looking for him.
He looked and Sylvia was ready to go with him
She and aunty Salome were family so they would join in the recession
The recession started
Joshua walked beside his Father who looked so stone faced ,
his only reason for smiling often was gone
So was his , now they just did the expected of them
He could see the look of pity on everyone's faces as they waited for their turn to join the recession out the church
As they stood by the grave site,
Jonathan could feel nothing standing beside his son as they dug to lower the coffin into the earth,
He knew he should be worried about his son who mirrored his emotions,
Or lack of, but couldn't find it in him to care about that
He was more glad for not having a normal child who would have been hysterical considering
the close relationship they had
He knew his son wanted space right now, he noticed the moment the program ended, Josh stood behind the pillars watching the people who came into pay their respects ,
there was a certain look on his son's face that should be noted if only he cared enough
Like he was processing his mother's final rites and detaching himself from the world in the process
Joshua always had an edge around him that made people around wary of him .
People always said "Like Father, Like Son"
Amelia was the anchor and the light in the family,
now it was all darkness in here.
As they lowered Amelia into the ground, her family's laughter and happiness went along with her.
The weeks had blurred past for the Francis household and suddenly it was Amelia's favourite holiday,
Thanksgiving,
She loved fall, that was the beginning of the cold period when you had to wear long sleeved shirts, but she loved winter most of all
"That's when you get to see the most beautiful flowers thrive and bloom in the harshest conditions, they are resilient and more beautiful because of that"
Thanksgiving was very important to her because she was more aware of what she had to be thankful for and the things she had in her life
"Never forget the great privilege you have in this life, never take it for granted because you don't deserve it more than the next person" She would say to Joshua when they tended to the flowers in their garden
It was a no show this year
Jonathan was held back due to work so Joshua had to spend thanksgiving with the Allis
They tried very much to make him feel comfortable in the house
All it did was remind him more of his loss and how things would never be the same again
Jonathan couldn't spend Thanksgiving at home
The home that his late wife took time to decorate when she was heavy with their son
She picked every plant, painting, every color for the house
she filled the house with her sunshine, warmth and love, now it was snuffed out
He never wanted to go back home, he felt no compulsion to do so
So he worked, started taking on more projects and would continue to do so
Sometimes he felt the tiniest flicker of guilt when he looked at his son
He could feel the distance between them right now but the greatest kindness he paid his son
Was choosing to still live after Amelia left
He thought of Joshua when he felt the despair at having his light gone in his life,
Wanted to welcome the nothingness that would take him, hoping he would meet her in his next life
But a flash of his son in his arms as a newborn, looking at him with the curiosity of the world in the brown eyes that mirror his stopped those thoughts
Unfortunately this was all he had to offer his son instead,
A half baked life with no presence from him
A living dead man who was clocking day in and out, providing the bare minimum to keep his son alive.
He owed that much to Amelia to make sure their son never lacked
This became a routine for Father and Son
Jonathan employed Mrs Bertha, a housekeeper who made meals, kept the house clean and picked Josh from school
Salome sometimes helped when she could, she still worked at the Distillery.
Jonathan became one with his work, barely having time for his son who retreated too far into himself to care about his father's absence
They had become two passing ships sharing a house, Jonathan always coming home way past his son's curfew.
He employed a driver to drop his son in his school, he left for work at dawn
He felt the guilt and shame of failing his Amelia but was too numb to do anything about it
He just couldn't stay in that house that housed so many memories, both happy and painful
Her scent on the pillow next to him, her flowers, the foot of the stairs.
He resorted to sleeping in his office, hadn't slept in his bed since her death
He didn't want to feel too many emotions at once, It still wouldn't change the fact that his world was bleak now so he would rather not feel a thing
Amelia Chaumont's death was felt in the community mostly especially in the herb community where the struggling yet resilient underdogs resided.
They had only known her a few but significant years,
She made a large contribution to the community
provided employment, spread her version of love and laughter into their community
She felt like one of them, called herself one of them, a misfit, her mixed heritage coupled with her choice of a partner made her socially unacceptable to the one percent of the town,
but they never could do anything about it so they settled for envy from afar.
There was a begrudgingly respect given to her for her contributions to the town, she had given the parish a certain air about it that made outsiders want to be a part of the community.
She did that and for that, Amelia Genevieve Chaumont would be highly remembered .
Joshua never liked celebrating his birthday but his mother did
"Ofcourse I have to celebrate it, it was the day you came into my life and gave it meaning" She would say as she always asked him what he wanted to do for his "special day" as she liked to call it
Today in class, Celine and Beatrice came up to him as soon as the bell had been rung
"Joshua, happy birthday " Celine handed him a bag containing his gift
"Thank you" he replied accepting the bag
"Is your Dad taking you out to celebrate? Do you think he will let you have a big party like last time?" Beatrice asked before getting a nudge from Celine who shook her head at her friend
"Sorry" Came the apologetic reply
" it's alright, I don't know, I have to go, my car is here. thank you for the gift" Leaving them behind in class, he stormed out to catch up with Mrs Bertha who had come to pick him up
"Beatrice, why would you mention that? you know that would remind him of his mom" Celine admonished her contrite friend
"I forgot" the weak reply came, the girls walked outside the class to their respective cars.
Celine worried about Joshua,
he was usually quiet in class, only giving replies when necessary but he always spoke to her
She was his only friend in class but nowadays he kept to himself even more,
Everyone seemed to regard him with pity in town, the teachers left him alone, even Henry who always made fun of him and his family left him alone.
She had been trying to get his attention for a while now but he always dashed out so fast once the bell rang, it was so annoying that they sat so far from each other in class.
she decided to try and talk to him during recess on monday, or before the beginning of first class, hopefully he wouldn't ignore her if she cornered him, giving him no place to go.
After an uneventful weekend, they sat to a silent breakfast on monday morning , it had been so long since Jonathan had spent considerable time with his son, he made the effort today cause of his son's birthday.
Amelia would have planned a party or done something special for him, he never had the kind of relationship Joshua shared with her
"How has school been?" Jonathan made a feeble attempt at small talk with his son as they each concentrated on their meal
"Fine"
" I will try to finish work early today, maybe we can eat at Patties Burgers and..."
the reply is swift "No, I don't want to go there, Why would you want to go there?" Joshua's frantic reply doesn't go unnoticed by his father who tries to settle his son in a rare show of understanding on why he avoided that location
Jonathan had not stepped foot in Patties Burgers since, that was one of the fondest memory he had of his love, he had planned to brave it out for his son's birthday today,
a feeble attempt at his lack of attention on his child
"Buddy, I know you don't want to go back there, it hurts when you think of that place sometimes but you ..."
"How do you know it is painful? you are not always around to know that, you just abandoned me after mom left" Jonathan accused quietly, pushing his food on his plate before staring up at his father "I wish you were the one that left instead of mom,
she would have cared more "
" I wish I was the one that died instead of mommy also buddy, finish your food, I will be waiting for you in the car"
A few minutes later, Father and son were buckled up in the car on their way to school.
"I will come and pick you by 2pm so we can go to Patties Burgers, I don't want to hear any complaints young man"
"I have an extra hour of class on mondays now so mrs Bertha picks me up by 3pm" Joshua informed his father
"oh, I see. I will see you by 3pm then" They had gotten to the front of his school building , as Joshua opened his door to step out,
"Buddy, be good ok and happy birthday my boy, I love you" his father spilled out
"My birthday was on Friday Dad" came the reply that stunned Jonathan into shock as his son closed his door and walked into the school building.
He had never missed Joshua's birthday before, this really got the best of him,
His son's nonchalant attitude at the whole situation was dire ,
he had to find a way to be more present in his son's life from this moment on.
That was his conclusion as he drove off to work, the recent situation weighing heavily on his mind.