Shubh now had a name and a face. He logged into his social media account and searched for Laxmi, the surname remained unknown to him but he was determined to find her. He just hoped that her account may not be private or else he would have had to follow her. There were many options in that name, hence he narrowed the search down to mutual friends list. And hit the cords correctly to trace her. Her full name was Laxmi Shinde. Her account was not private. He scrolled down and found many beautiful photos, with some of his old friends as well. She definitely was from his previous college as guessed. He didn't want to be any other desperate boy seeking her attention thus, he didn't follow her but kept looking for updates and stories in her account. This very well qualified for stalking online, but he had no options or courage to talk or chat with her.
He kept a check on her account and a glance in the class would just make his day. He finally got an inspiration. It was a similar day, they had an off lecture. Shubh was having chat with his friends, which had increased in number since first day, when Laxmi came up to them and joined the conversation. Shubh was just transfixed with her presence. He felt as if all the senses had stopped working. He wanted to speak but realized the words just dissolved themselves in his brain. He so badly awaited to make an eye contact and talk and failed again. He gave up on this soon and just talked to others and she would speak in to. After a bit of time he got comfortable and was relaxed to look at her. He also saw her looking at him. Maybe that was a sign of some interest, he thought. Now his heart was just pounding so hard that he thought could be heard by her. Her presence was so energizing and yet he was being really very stiff.
Now she too started to look at him in recognition he thought and a soothing moment emerged when she said," I have seen you somewhere". It was enough to start a conversation but only reply he could gather up was, "PCC", name of their previous college. Worse was he said it in a careless attitude. That was it, whole conversation for the day. He hated himself even more. Not a single person could screw up so badly he thought. He wanted to just say out what he felt but feared many things. Firstly, he feared rejection. Since he wasn't tall, dark and handsome. He didn't know if he had any good attractive characteristics. Which was reason to be under confident as well. Secondly, he didn't know if she was already in some relationship or not. Even if she was, he did not wish to know it at all as it would just crush his heart knowing that she loves someone else. Also he knew that if he stayed to close to her and talked, he would not be able to restrain himself from proposing.
For all the reasons, he didn't approach her and talked minimal neither did he start chatting no matter how much he longed for it. He would strike conversation only when they were with a group. He tried to observe her as much as possible. Checking her dressing style that she mostly wore crop tops and jeans. But whenever she wore traditional kurta pajamas, she shined over the whole class. She was an independent girl and drove herself to college in white hatchback car. He kept checking her social media account on daily basis, as if addicted to it, checking for any signs of her being in relationship. But obviously no one would post their photos with boyfriend, especially in Goa where people knew each other from all the corners of the state, and parents who cared a lot about their kids and reputation.
They would chat on messenger app in group, replying to each other's messages but he restricted that as well for not making it obvious a person who was after her. They had an assignment submission and in charge for keeping record was given to Shubh and another girl Sim. While Sim returned home earlier, Shubh waited till the end. He was to keep a photographed record of submissions. When the Ma'am asked about submission in messenger group after college, Laxmi messaged Shubh for the first time
Lax: Send ma'am the latest pic na..
Yes ma'am. Done:Shub
Lax: thank you
Most Welcome J:Shub
That was all the chatting possible for him. If he went to say something more, he was sure about making some blunder. Neither did she replied which was another reason for him to stop. But he was happy that she initiated the chatting and the first step towards getting close.
During all this, due to hectic classes and workload, whole class wanted a break. Shubh suggested that they organize a picnic and took the initiative. There was also a farewell party for the seniors to be organized soon. Hence the date needed to be finalized for the picnic. Many suggested that picnic be organized that very weekend and some were in support to organize in later. Message was passed in the college messenger group. That day when he, Raj, Laxmi and few others met at college gate during lunch break.
Everyone were discussing about the picnic date. "Many wanted to go on this weekend itself" told Shubh.
Few agreed but Laxmi said, "I may not be available on that day". Shubh wished to cancel the plan there and there, but didn't take any such steps. When one of the girl asked Laxmi, "Come on! What work you have? Let's go please."
At that question, the reply which came was not what Shubh expected to hear. Laxmi said, "I have a date."