Warning: This chapter has a chaotic and nonsensical battle that I had a ton of fun writing. Play "Chaos 6" from Sonic Adventure!
Nya stretched either arm at Maddy and Francis, assaulting them with Finger Pistols. Maddy crossed her arms and blocked while Francis evaded the left finger and swiped his arm, splashing off Nya's. Nya spun and swung her tail, but Francis withstood the force and caught it: along with her arms, Nya had a bone in her watery tail, and they housed Chaos Emeralds. Francis tried to pull the emerald out of the tail, but it turned into light as Nya morphed into a large ball of water. The two fled as Nya bounced forcefully, but Maddy was caught in her mass. Francis saw her panicking inside, so he bravely threw a hardened punch at the bubble. It splashed apart as Maddy escaped, but Nya quickly reformed and merged her arms into a hammer. She applied Iron Body with each drop of the hammer, creating deadly shockwaves. Francis and Maddy eventually got together and threw a combined punch up, bending the hammer back to smash its owner's head.
Nya's liquidy form dispersed for a moment. Maddy lunged at her as she was reforming, but Nya conjured an energy barrier, combined with Iron Body to withstand Maddy's punch. Nya could then catch her in a lizard tongue and pull her into the water. Nya dove into a sewer hole and into the river, Francis furious at her despicable tactic. He had no choice but to dive in as well, and as he swam after the liquid lizard, Nya splashed Tempests from her tail. Despite what she was, her maneuverability in the water wasn't strong, nor did she have good waterbending. Nya turned and rammed Francis with a Torpedo Spin, her head hardened. Francis returned the technique with his own head of Haki, the forces repelling each other. Nya whipped her tail to wrap him, but Francis had already pulled a F.R.A.P.P.E. to shoot her head, freezing it. "Always have room for the classic weapons." Francis shook free and rammed her head, splashing Nya apart. Francis grabbed Maddy and quickly climbed a ladder out of the sewer.
He lay Maddy on her back and pressed her stomach to push the water out. "Huff, Francis!"
"Get up, she's not down, yet!" They saw Nya emerging from the sewer. "That form doesn't allow her to merge with water, and she only has minimal bending."
"We'll see about that!" Nya withdrew a remote from a "Pocket Dimension." She pressed, and the aircraft overhead dropped two more emeralds, which Nya stretched and grabbed. She morphed into Chaos 5, a five-legged water spider with an inflated head area. She took a breath and puffed water out of her turret-like mouth, each glob the force of a cannon. Nya's body deflated after a while, leaving less water to cover her brain in the center. Maddy punched a Chi Sphere, but Nya dodged with Shave and slashed a storm of Tempests from her legs. The dislodged water returned and reflated her. She curled up her legs and rolled at the two, but Francis tried to break through with a punch. He was in the water, but Nya stirred her insides to stop him from reaching the brain, Nya spat him out, then she shot her Water Cannon, but Maddy defended Francis and punched the forceful globs away. Once her body shrank, Francis got up and dashed, Nya slicing Tempests. He dodged, so she maneuvered away, but hadn't noticed Maddy leap in from the side to land a Gold Knuckle punch.
The impact to the brain splashed Nya into pieces, the droplets maneuvering away so they could reform safely. The water spider leapt toward them, and her body squished and stretched upon hitting the ground. The two were enveloped in her ooze, but only Francis was able to shake away while Maddy was panicking. She was trapped and flung around the spider's body, Nya cackling as she Shaved away from Francis. His F.R.A.P.P.E. couldn't freeze the thick body very well, but when he landed a shot to one of the knees, Nya's movement was hindered. Francis shot another one, which he quickly jumped up to land on the body. Nya used Iron Body and Haki to make her water too thick to breach, so Francis mustered a large sum of chi and punched. His arm penetrated, and he pulled the rest of himself through. Francis grabbed Maddy, but Nya merely stirred them both around. Though he felt bad for her in this panicking state, Francis had to swing Maddy by the arms, spinning and slamming her legs into the brain. Nya's body splattered, and the two hurried away to catch their breath.
Her body became dozens of balls of water that blasted at them like cannons. They sensed and tried to punch them away, but took a few hits to the head. Nya reformed and used Moon Walk to leap a high distance into the air. "Maddy, I know this is sudden, but I think it's time to kick that fear of water. You should be way stronger than Nya! A few more blows to that soft little weak spot should knock her right out!"
"It's not that easy…"
"Maddy, just think of everything you've been through. All the battles you endured, all the times you could've died. Are you gonna let a little water scare you?"
When Nya collided with the ground, a massive shockwave of energy released, blowing the kids away along with any debris in its radius. "I'm guessing that energy is something Chaos naturally has." Maddy said. "Sigh, alright… I'm going for it." She closed her eyes and raced up to Nya. The agent thrusted spikes from her body, but Maddy's keen Observation made for easy evasion. When Maddy got close, Nya Shaved around her at frightening speed, but Maddy predicted her destinations. When Nya spawned at one spot, Maddy slashed her fist: golden chi stretched from her knuckles in the shape of spikes, cleaving the water clean in two. With her other fist, she threw a Chi Sphere and struck Nya's brain, splattering the creature. Nya reformed further away and clicked her remote: the aircraft dropped the 6th emerald. Her body morphed into a scorpion/frog-like creature with an axe-shaped tail and vertical eyes.
Nya erected spikes and bent them at angles to surround them. Francis shot the ends of the spikes with his F.R.A.P.P.E. before karate-chopping them off, and though Maddy's fists could splash apart the spikes, she was slightly cut by them. Nya then began to violently flick her axe tail, applying Tempest to cut the air and nearly injure the wary operatives. She then opened her mouth to inhale like a vacuum. Francis let go of his F.R.A.P.P.E. in the sudden suction, the two grabbing the ground to stop from flying in. When Nya swallowed the F.R.A.P.P.E., it released a burst of ice that froze her whole body. The two shared nods and dashed up, spinning their hardened fists and landing a solid blow to the solidified mass. The ice shattered, but melted as Nya reformed. However, Maddy bravely jumped into the reforming liquid, grabbing onto the brain just as it reappeared. "What do you think you're doing, Maggot?!"
Nya tried to shake her foe around, but Maddy kept a firm, frightful hold on the brain. In trying to restrain her panic, she couldn't muster her Haki… but this feeling of weakness allowed her to transmit Paper Haki into Nya's brain. Nya jumped in quick succession, enhancing each fall with Iron Body, and each landing released a shockwave. Francis leapt to evade them, but pretended to be knocked over. Nya smirked and lashed her tail, but after dodging the axe, Francis jumped to grab the tail. Nya forcefully swung him around the air, but when Francis sensed her about to swing down, he let go. The momentum splashed him through Nya's body, and he used that momentum to enhance his hardened fist. When his iron Haki met the fragility of the Paper Haki, Nya let out a devastating cry of pain. Her body splashed apart as usual, but this time, the Chaos Emeralds fell scattered. (End song.)
While Maddy knelt gasping for breath, Francis ran to gather up all the emeralds. She looked as Nya's body weakly reformed into its Chaos 0 form. "Are you ready to get over yourself, Nya? The Apocalypse is over. The World Government was wrong. And thanks to us, the universe has a future."
"You don't know what it's like for everything you believed in to just… betray you in the end. You brats got to have it all… so, I wanted to take part of it away."
"For what? You had a nice family, good friends, and you abandoned them. All those other Teen Ninjas moved on. They're going to parties and doing… y'know, teenager things. I bet they'd like you to join them. Suigetsu could give you a few pointers on being a water monster."
"Don't patronize me. At least I know we aren't the only bad guys in the end. We both know those Newborn are dangerous. And if you guys have them… everyone will know… you're dangerous, too." Nya passed out. Her body morphed back into its human color, with a worn-out red jumpsuit.
"You didn't even need Fury Mode." Francis smiled. "That was nothing to you, huh?"
"Only because of you. Thanks, Francis."
"It's all in the genes~"
"AAAAH!"
"That voice! That was Zach pretending to scream!"
"Wanna go watch his fight then?"
"Sigh…I guess."
"AAAAAHHHH!" Zach was being mercilessly assaulted by Finger Pistols.
"Wow, Zachy!" Deadpool said perkily. "You're so full of holes, you might as well be an excavation site!"
Just like that, Zach's body became a large valley where hundreds of mini Deadpools drilled into him with machinery. "Darn it! What are you guys even excavating?!"
"The Lost City of Molantis! I'll find those moles if it's the last thing I do!"
"It WILL be the last thing you do!" a girl's voice declared.
Hallelujah! Mako Mankanshoku rose from a hole. "Who the hell is she?" Wade asked. "Seriously, you can't just show up in this story without context!"
"You're in violation of Excavation Rule 41: Premeditative Trespassing! Your attempts to dig up Molantis are considered trespassing on their property!"
"Au contraire!" Vanessa trotted onto the scene. "One could argue that the moles make their home in the earth, and the earth is everyone's property! Therefore, it's not illegal to trespass on your own property."
"AAAAH!" Mako took a critical Logic Blast from Wade's unicorn lover. "In that case… the moles should invade YOUR property just the same!"
"OH, NO!" To Deadpool's fright, hordes of moles emerged and crossed over to his body. They riddled him full of holes as they dug in.
"HEY! That's my property you're digging!" Vanessa punctured Deadpool all over with her horn, piercing the moles underneath. He was filled with so many holes that, as the wind breezed through him, it played a natural, ambient song. The Minipools performed a tribal dance around him. "Ha ha! Bet you can't make a song out of YOUR boyfriend!"
"We'll see about that!" Mako shouted. Whipping out some scissors, Mako cut Zach's body up all over. "And voila!" She turned Zach into a mass of tangled-up streamers.
"What kind of music do you expect to make with that?!"
"THIS kind!" Mako dressed as a cheerleader and started flailing Zach like a pompom. She did it at just the right wavelength to make an elegant violin sonata. "Impressed?! They say Vivaldi mastered the pompom before the violin. That's why cheerleading is a classy and traditional art! But no one tops a pyramid like the man himself!"
A cheerleader pyramid, with Antonio Vivaldi on top, fell and CRUSHED the two assassins. "Ugh!" Deadpool pushed them off. "Those cheerleaders were too good! Which means I need to get gooder." He shaped his body like a banana. "And nothing tastes good like tropical fruit! Vanessa, give me a peel!" She grabbed the top of his head and peeled open his skin. His inner flesh Regenerated into a juicy, vanilla banana with sharp, sparkling eyes. "Get a taste of this beauty, baby."
"Super Fist of The Fool, Ape Transformation!" Zach morphed into a gorilla. Pounding his chest, he came storming up to the banana.
"A wise tactic. But you'll go bananas when you see what this nanner's packing." Deadpool's bottom point opened to a cannon. "Gorillas may be the king of swing, but in a zoo exhibit, they're helpless to the onslaught of patrons throwing peanuts!" The cannon fired peanuts, Zach tensing up in panic.
"I'll save you, Zach! Squirrel Power, activate!" Mako shrank and became a squirrel, scampering to her boyfriend.
"Is that the best you got?" Vanessa smirked, shooting lasers from her horn. Mako swiftly dodged, taking a leap of faith and swiping her tail against the horse's long face. She then bounced off Vanessa's head and into the hands of her gorilla boyfriend.
"Now that I got a nutcracker, your nuts mean nuttin'!" Zach held her forth as Mako munched each nut.
"Looks like I need to transform, too!" Vanessa morphed her Zoan form into that of Miley Cyrus. "Little known fact, Miley loved to beat up monkeys!" She charged forth, brutally beating Zach to a pulp.
"I knew you would do this!" Mako yelled. "That's why I slapped a cannon-attracting sticker with that tail-whack!"
Vanessa saw the sticker on her cheek, designed like a cannon giving a kiss. "AAAH!" Suddenly, a real cannon flew up for an iron-hard kiss on that cheek. "POW POW. I LOVE YOU, POWLY." And as its lips parted, Vanessa was blasted by its ammo.
"BABY!" Deadpool cried. "AUGH!" Zach finally seized the banana and leaned to take a bite. "Haha! Got you right where I want you!" An "X" stamp shot out of Deadpool's head and into Zach's forehead.
"Wah! What're you doing?!" The "X" shone a dark-blue light. Mako, Maddy, and Francis looked in slight curiosity and concern. "Whoa!" Zach was blown onto his back, reverting to human form.
"Zach!" Squirrel Mako hopped on his chest. "You okay?"
"Mako… just now, Deadpool invaded my mental space! Not many who do that get out of there alive!"
"Yahoohoohoohoo!" the assassin laughed. "My Fourth Wall Observation studied every detail of your thought waves! I've integrated them with my own! And now, I'm gonna do some redecorating!" Deadpool conjured a computer and began scrolling through prior Gameverse stories. "How 'bout this: instead of dying, Nolan York transformed into a back-scratcher."
"What did he say about Dad?" Dillon asked, scratching his back with said tool.
"I'm always with you, my son." said Backscratch York.
"DAD?!"
"Yahoohoo! And after Nebula faced Skaios, her nose inflated and became a vacuum~"
Up on GKND, Nebula ceased her dancing trance for a moment to grow her nose. She proceeded to sniff up all the dust on the base. "Um, Sister? We may need to have therapy after this."
"And instead of Haki, people use… Hockey!"
Maddy tried to muster her Haki, but hockey sticks grew from her muscles. "AAAH! Zach, stop him! He's changing reality as we know it!"
"You fiend!" Zach hissed, his squirrelfriend on his shoulder. "You're using the Forbidden Bobo Arts! How dare you change what's long been established?!"
"Silly Zach! Don't you know that, the longer a story goes on, the more susceptible it is to retcons? Sentences are being changed every day! Reality and 'canon' as we know it is highly subjective! And with your wavelength mixed with mine, I have the power to remake this universe with insanity!"
"What do you have to gain by doing that?!" asked Mako.
"It can't be!" Zach gasped in realization. "You're planning to use the Super Fist of the Pandora Summoning?"
"Pandora?" Maddy questioned. "The Goddess of Chaos?"
"DING DING DING!" Deadpool banged a gong. "That's right! Distorting reality too much will heighten the Chaos Chi of the universe! Then, I will harness its power and summon Pandora directly from her Underworld Prison!"
"And then you plan to kill her, is that it? Francis, I think it's time to step in and help out!" Maddy fist-palmed her hockey sticks.
"Uh, you sure about that?"
"You won't interfere!" Vanessa morphed into a full unicorn and showed her rear to them. "Time to show you a special move of my own!" Maddy and Francis froze up in disgust, dreading what she was about to shoot: and what came out was a pile of Pepper Jack Cheeseburgers.
"EW! Talk about a gross gag!" Maddy cringed.
"That wasn't a Bo-bobo gag." Vanessa corrected. "Secreting Pepper Jack Cheeseburgers is a natural ability unicorns possess. Even Hockey Masters can't resist the fantastical taste!"
Maddy reached and took a bite. "Oh…Francis, it's so delicious."
Francis bit. "Maddy, I…I can't get over how good it is!"
"Beeeeeehhhh…" Both fell into a hypnotic gaze.
"Zach, we have to save them!" Mako yelled.
"And the only way to do that is to feed them something classy. Luckily, I already ordered the frogs."
"Frogs?" Wade said. "Huh?!" Looking up, a carriage descended from the sky, carried by a rocket snail. Wade and Vanessa jumped apart upon its collision.
The cast of Amphibia climbed out of the carriage: Anne Boonchuy, Hop Pop, Sprig, and Polly. "You sure the invitation said to come here?" Anne asked.
"Pretty sure." Polly reviewed a drawing of Earth with Quahog circled. "Now it says we step on the giant spoon."
Seeing nothing wrong with that, the other three stepped on the spoon. "WHOA!" It hauled them up and splashed them into a giant cauldron.
"Nothing seasons a frog like salt and peanut butter!" Zach and Mako poured said condiments in the cauldron. "Polly, give it a little more heat!"
"Aye-aye, Captain!" Polly cranked up the fire beneath the cauldron.
"POLLY!" Anne exclaimed. Sprig and Hop-Pop were already melting in the cauldron. "You sold us out?!"
"Sorry, Anne. Zach promised me my own Death Star if I helped cook you."
"We should've done this at the festival!" Zach scooped a couple bowls and threw the Boonchuy Frog Soup to Mad and Fran. They sipped the soup and were rid of the taste of Pepper Jack Cheese.
"Yeah!" Polly cheered. "Now we're cooking with gas! Or whatever we frogs use."
"Wait, was that an actual line from the show?" Wade asked.
"Yeah? What's wrong?"
"What's wrong is that line is completely immersion breaking! If you're a member of a sentient frog race, you can't just say 'whatever we frogs use.' It would make more sense if a human character said that."
"Oh, like you know anything about worldbuilding." Polly rolled her eyes.
"Fine! I'll cook up some REAL worldbuilding! Come on, Vanny, we're taking a trip!" Wade and Vanessa boarded a rocket and soared off to the world of Zemuria. "There it is!" They were on a set course to Thors Military Academy. Inside, the 50+ playable characters were standing around waiting for plot to happen. Deadpool's ship crashed, reducing the building to rubble and KOing all of them. "Now, let's make us an elegant banquet!" With swift handiwork, Deadpool began converting all the characters into foods. "There! How's THIS for Crossover Cuisine?"
"You kidding? I don't know any of these characters!"
"Then might I recommend the Reanburger?" Deadpool held up Rean, converted into a patty. "You can try him with any condiment." He gestured to small packets of Rean's love interests.
"Alright." Zach picked up the Elise Sauce. "I'll try this one."
"NO!" Rean gasped. "That's my sister!"
"Oh, Big Brother!" Elise slithered out of the packet and snuggled with Rean. "Now we can be eaten together! Isn't that wonderful?"
"You call that elegant worldbuilding?!" Maddy shouted.
"Fooled you!" Wade snapped. "It turns out Rean sucks! But you're gonna put up with him for FIVE GAMES!" And so, Rean and Elise SLICED Zach, Mako, and Polly. "I'll just have the better characters for myself. Oh, these two are cute!" He picked up an Agate Fry and dipped it in some Tita Sauce.
"STOP SHIPPING ME WITH TITAAAAA!" Agate SLASHED Deadpool with his flaming sword, sending him flying.
"AAAAHH!" The assassin splashed into the cooking pot with Anne and the frogs. "OW OW OW OW!" His flaming body set fire to all of them.
Zach dipped his finger in and tasted it. "Our Amphibia Soup is still missing the most pivotal ingredients."
"I got them right here, Zach!" Mako showed him a cage, where Marcy and Maddie were trapped.
"I've always wanted to be part of a potion!" Maddie grinned.
"Now we're cookin'! Get in there, you two!" With that, Zach threw Marcy and Maddy inside.
"NO, YOU IDIOT, I'M THE WRONG MADDY!" Maddy Murphy screamed as she was boiled alive.
"I've always wanted to eat live humans!" Maddie helped stir the pot.
"You and me both, Sister!" Polly said.
"You ain't gonna get the chance!" Deadpool declared. "Super Fist of Fantasy-Fu, Degenerate-splosion!" His body inflated, exploding and destroying the cauldron. The humans and Amphibians lay scattered, burned, and unconscious.
"NOOOO!" Zach cried. "I worked so hard on that Crossover Cuisine! And you RUINED it!"
"That ain't the only thing! Did you forget my Fourth Wall Rewritten World?" Deadpool showed him characters from several stories. "The World Government Leaders? I turned them into the cast of Arthur!" The six kings poofed and turned into the lighthearted PBS characters. "And element bending? ALL replaced with simple toys!" Melody and Davy Jones used water squirters in their epic battle, while Nebula and Dimentio wrestled each other in astronaut suits. "That's what I think of your silly continuity! That's the fragility of your world!"
"This is beyond the boundaries of friendly comedy!" Mako shouted. "You're destroying everything we love!"
"You cooked us alive…" Anne gasped.
"And it's too late for you to stop it." Wade said. "With the changes I made, Chaos has risen to its peak!" Fittingly, Nya's unconscious body had landed on a mountaintop. "So, it's time for the summoning to begin!" He sat in a meditative fashion and flashed hand signals. "Super Fist of Fantasy-Fu: the Whimsical Summoning to the Impure World."
His chi opened a gaping portal to the Underworld. The sounds of a train's engine were heard, the operatives looking with anxiety. Rising from beyond the ethereal space… was Thomas the Tank Engine. "Bust my buffers! I must've taken a wrong turn somewhere!"
"It's gonna get more wrong in a second!" Wade flicked a penny onto the track. As soon as Thomas's wheel crossed it, the train violently tumbled off the track and exploded. From the flaming wreckage, a mass of black and blue flame burned. It had a frightening face with eyes of bright-pink fire and a halo.
"My… now, what kind of mess is going on out here?"
"It's Goddess Pandora!" Maddy exclaimed.
"Oh, if it isn't our waste of a Chosen One. And you…" She faced Deadpool. "You're one of the harbingers of the God Killing, aren't you? Did you think it was wise, summoning me here? Between the gods you've killed and the chaos you're pulling right now… I could very well burn reality to ashes!"
Pandora began to grow, engulfing everything in her chaotic fire. "'EY!" Sheila shouted. "Where'd all this fire come from?! And why'd my lightbending get replaced with a flashlight?!"
"Such is the danger of the Goddess of Calamity!" Lucci said. "Hurry, Wade! Finish her now!"
"You got it, Chief!" Deadpool put on the One-Punch Gauntlets. He raised both fists and slammed down-
But an adorable squirrel blocked his impact point. Mako glared at him reproachfully. "Just what are you going to do… after you finish her off? Just why do you want to kill the gods?"
"Why? Heh…it's simple." Deadpool pulled off his mask, pointing at the 'X' on his forehead. "Because it's why I was brought into this world. It's my reason for existing."
"Who told you that it was?"
"The same being who gave you your purpose, and Zach's, and everyone else's. My Fourth Wall Observation lets me see the events of the universe as they're typed out, and lets me see into the mind of the Creator. With this, I know my purpose… and I know everyone else's. And most people, you see… they really don't have a purpose."
Wade somberly observed the fallen bodies of the Amphibians. He saw the realities he had granted to Arthur and friends. The broken remains of Thomas. And how he had replaced Doflamingo with Clifford the Big Red Dog. "These people have only existed for these simple gags. But beyond the words written on these pages, in the Realm of the Offscreen, it's like they don't even exist. Who knows what goes through their minds? Who knows if they'll be given a more relevant purpose." He focused on Maddie for a moment. Knowing how the Creator adored her, it saddened him to think she wouldn't get more screen-time.
"After I finish my purpose… after we kill the gods…" Wade stared into his open palms, crying. "I might as well disappear. And if I'm gonna do that…" He raised his fists again, "then I might as well finish my purpose the best that I can!"
The fists fell, but Zach blocked them by the arms. Wade's tearing eyes fell to Zach's sunglasses in surprise. "And I thought I was the only fool around here. Don't you see, Wade?" Zach threw off the glasses, his green eyes sharp. "You've been in my Crossover Cuisine this whole time!" (Play "Revival Edition" from Danganronpa!)
Wade fell agape: this whole time, the entire planet had been inside a giant cauldron, burning within Pandora's Chaos Flame. "He used Pandora's arrival to his advantage?!" Vanessa exclaimed. "That crafty little clown!"
"Deadpool… it's true that many denizens of this universe have no life-changing purpose. But they're not nameless husks: they're ingredients! And they're used for many other recipes, many combinations of Crossover Cuisine! Even the smallest ingredient that may not stand out has to remember that it existed. It exists not just in this world, but many others in the great Sea of the Multiverse! But what do you say we find more, Deadpool? Let's add more to our Crossover Cuisine!"
"WAAAAAAAHHHH!" Wade was rammed right in the back by Thomas the Train. "W-wait! I'm not dead?"
"Neither am I!" Thomas said. "Looks like I've still got some work to do!"
"Come back here with Wade!" Vanessa pursued them in Lightning McQueen from Cars. However, Mako had stowed away, the squirrel biting and whacking the unicorn and evading her horn stabs. Each missed stab would puncture Lightning's insides, the car whimpering miserably.
"The first ingredients we need are Peanuts!" The train sped to Hennepin, Minnesota. The Peanuts Gang were dancing to a little piano jingle on the stage, but were rudely interrupted as Thomas plowed against them. The Peanuts were flung onto Thomas's roof, but chose to take their anger out on Wade.
"HEY! Take us back, you blockhead!" Linus choked him with his blanket.
"You almost killed us, blockhead!" Lucy slammed her football into him.
"Next, we need a Big Red Dog to really bring the meat!" After driving to Birdwell Island, a giant steak extracted from Thomas's rear. Once Clifford saw the steak, the Gargantuan Crimson Canine bolted after them, crushing several homes and even stepping on a few people. The steak snapped off and crashed into Vanessa's car. Clifford bit into it along with her, but they kept driving and carried Clifford. "And speaking of red, some Jake Long Noodles oughta add some flavor!"
When they drove through New York City, the Big Red Dog was spotted by a Long Red Dragon. "That dog must be a magical creature! Is it being kidnapped?!" Jake Long wondered as he soared down after them.
"I always thought dogs made good dragon bait! Dragon Grater Attack!" Zach conjured a giant cheese grater. It landed right in front of Jake, who was sawed into noodles upon flying through. They landed in a big bowl being pulled by the train. "I'm hungry for some of them Bean Scouts!" Thomas tore through Camp Kidney and extracted a bulldozer from his front, scooping all the Bean Scouts in it. He gobbled them up and excreted them out the back, compressing them into beans that joined Jake in the bowl. "Chicks dig forgotten toons! Let's cook some Megas!"
A giant, blue robot with a hot rod on its head charged across the horizon. "You ain't cooking my rod!" Coop yelled, his mecha swinging a kick straight at Thomas's face. Wade was squashed into it as the train's face reclined straight through the body and stretched quite further back.
"Blimey, I can taste my own butt!" Thomas cried. When the face lunged back, it shot straight into Megas' crotch. It caused Coop's car to spring up, flinging the chubby pilot into Pandora's Cooking Pot.
"I'll be taking that over!" Zach jumped into the cockpit. "Now, no cauldron is complete without alchemy!" Zach ran to Amestris, where he drew an alchemy circle and cast a spell to turn the whole country into a spring. The spring launched everybody into Pandora's Pot.
"AAAH!" Edward Elric screamed at Clifford. "Is that a mutant dog?! DIE, ABOMINATION!" He pulled a gun and began shooting it.
"Zach, he's a little out-of-character." Maddy mentioned.
"No time for that!" Still controlling Megas XLR, he grabbed Ben 10, his cousin, and grandpa before adding them to the recipe. He snatched the Totally Spies and splashed them in.
"AAAAAAHHH!" The soup only grew hotter as more ingredients filled the mixture. "What are you trying to prove, Zach?! Sacrificing all these people to the inferno… all these lives mean nothing to you! They exist for one, menial purpose, only to never shine again in this universe! This is how you honor their memory?!"
"What happened to your wise-cracking attitude, Deadpool? You're making the soup all sour."
"I'll be cracking plenty of wises, after Pandora dieses! …Which is apparently a double-dagger, but was meant to rhyme!"
"Yes, I would MUCH rather die than be a victim to your lunatic combat style any further!" Pandora echoed.
"Then it's time to put the final punch in this soup!" Zach threw on a pair of gauntlets with clown faces. "Super Fist of The Fool, Anti-Reality Rupture!" Both gauntlets SLAMMED Pandora's flaming body.
"AAAAAAAAHHH!" Her very essence merged with the soup and became one with it. Then, it all began to swirl into Zach's being like a vortex. "NO! What…what are you doing to me?!"
"Zach is swallowing Pandora?!" Maddy exclaimed.
"Deadpool… I won't allow you to kill her. But I won't let the chaos you've ignited her with spread. So, I'm putting it all away where you can never reach her!"
"NOOOOO!" Pandora cried her final wish. "Please… kill me… KILL MEEEEEEE…"
"AAAAAAHHHH!" The rest of the cuisine was flowing into Zach's being, including all the people that were made part of it, and Deadpool himself. "But why… I don't want to disappear… I don't want my role to end!"
"UNICORN ROCKET!" Vanessa's horn shone as she propelled herself with a rainbow streak. She rammed Deadpool dead on and pushed him away from the suction.
"Squirrel Copter!" Mako flew at them both with a whirling attack, knocking the couple into a giant plastic bowl.
Looking up, they found Zach standing on the rim of the bowl. "Wade… even should your purpose end, you will find a new one. In this vast multiverse, there are many of you. You will always be a pivotal ingredient. For now… we are saving you… for later."
A humongous lid sealed the contents of the bowl. It slowly floated into a refrigerator, placed among the leftovers of the unused crossovers. "Sniff…thank you…" Deadpool said that to two people: one was Zach, for his kind words… and the other was the Creator, for inputting those kind words.
"HEY, I don't wanna be trapped in here!" Vanessa shouted. "Let us out of here! Let us OOOUUU-"
Zach shut the fridge. (End song.)
…
Sheila, Dillon, and Lucci shared a sense of relief as reality seemed to fix itself… back to the ruined state Quahog was already in. The lion glared at Zach, lain exhausted at the oversized refrigerator. "Even Wade lost to that clown. Why do you former Seven Lights continue to be a nuisance?! Your purpose is over… you're useless now!"
"We weren't born to be Seven Lights, ya drongo!" Sheila stated. "I was born to be an adventurer, and Zach was born to be a clown!"
"And you were born to be an assassin." Dillon glared. "I'm sure you're pretty happy with your life… but you can't call us a nuisance after all the awful things you did to us!"
"Yeah! Back when you tricked my mum and took her prisoner, I've been wantin' to get a sock at you meself! Didn't wanna steal Maddy's spotlight, but it's better late than never."
"Ha ha ha!" Maddy laughed. "He's all yours, Sheila! Lucci just doesn't invigorate me, anymore."
"GROWL!" snarled the lion. "So be it! The Pirate King should be a MUCH tastier challenge!" (Play "Power of Jin" from Xenoblade!)
Lucci pounced, his claws gold, but Sheila dodged to his right and swung a Light Kick against his crown. Sheila backed away from his flurry of swipes, Tempests lashing from his claws. He seemed to stop, but it was only an afterimage, the real Lucci Shaving behind. With Life Return, Lucci wrapped his tail around Sheila's neck. He slammed the Faunus around, but Sheila freed herself by stretching a Light Cutlass to cut the tail; not enough to sever it, but enough to force Lucci to release. Sheila used lightspeed to zip rapidly around Lucci, but he sensed her about to throw the sword. Lucci dodged, and as Sheila went for him next, he Shaved and bit into her hip. "AAAH!" Lucci cried, Sheila escaping while socking him in the nose. It turned out, the shadow of Sheila's arm had been stretched far back before launching into Lucci's shadow. Lucci glared at Dillon and pounced at him, Dillon Veiling into the shadows.
Sheila leapt forth with a spinning, extended Light Tail, but it was thwarted by Lucci's Haki tail. He spun again and whipped Sheila away, and he was ready to gnash at her after landing—Dillon's Shadow Possession restrained him, and though Lucci was able to shake free quickly, Sheila stretched another Light Cutlass to stab the lion's eye. As revenge, Lucci thrusted and stretched his claws from a safe distance, sending long Finger Pistols to puncture the retreating Sheila. He sensed Dillon bending the shadow of a broken streetlight to pierce him with it, but Lucci Shaved and slashed, Dillon Veiling at the cost of some hair strands. Sheila went beside a burning home and bent its light to shape an orange Light Whip. She whirled it above her en route to Lucci, lashing at the evasive lion. Lucci used Humming Bird to make her think he was charging headfirst, but Dillon's Twilit Sense saw through his ruse and saw his shadow whistling. Lucci was sneaking around Sheila all the while, but Dillon stopped him with a Shade Fist, breaking his illusion. Once exposed, Sheila lashed him with the Light-Flame Whip, followed by a punch to the jaw.
"Alright… I think it's time I slow your bending down a tad!" Lucci hissed. The flames were a good source for both Sheila's lightbending and Dillon's shadows, so he had to cut them from that light. "Ever wonder how lions used to clean their dens out? By growing their manes to considerable length!" Using Life Return, Lucci increased the size of his black mane to that of a giant broom.
"Whoa! I didn't know lions could do that!" Sheila beamed.
"Uhhh…" was everyone else's reaction.
Lucci spun as his thick broom stirred up a huge cloud of dust, swallowing the area up as Dillon and Sheila struggled for vision. Dillon couldn't even use Twilit Vision with the shadows of dust particles murking things up, while Lucci sniffed them out with Haki. Dillon merely Veiled while Sheila aimlessly spun and stretched her Light Tail. It was able to partially clear the dust—her mind blanked out for a sec, leaving her vulnerable to Lucci's pounce. "Alright, that's about a good time to step in. BUUUURRRRP!" A noxious wave of gas blew the dust away, Lucci tensing up at the smell.
"Of course." Lucci smirked. "Sheila can't go anywhere without her scrawny underling."
"Boy, that's the first time I've been called that." Mason blushed. "Makes us sound like villains."
"I like the ring of it!" Sheila still struggled to escape the lion's firm grasp, but Lucci could make no other moves under Dillon's Shadow Possession. He enhanced it after borrowing the nearby operatives' shadows (sans Sheila), allowing Sheila to push free and kick him upside the jaw. The Faunus unloaded a flurry of Light Spheres via rapid, high-speed punches, and even Lucci's Paper Art wasn't able to evade the masses of light. Lucci used Shaves en route to Sheila, but began to take rapid punches from behind and the sides. This was thanks to Dillon's numerous Shade Fists contributing alongside Sheila's attacks. Lucci used Forgetful Glance to confuse them, then he gnashed a Fang Pistol at Dillon. His front was punctured, but Lucci couldn't deliver a fatal blow before Mario Veiled his master.
He focused on Sheila again, Shaving toward the pirate while she caught her breath from her onslaught. She braced herself when he stopped and positioned his arms for the Six King Gun. "SHEILA, MOVE, HE'S USING-" but Dillon was too late to warn her. Lucci had used Humming Bird to deceive her, and was able to wrap her in his tail. In preparation of his attack, Sheila channeled a fair sum of chi to her feet, since they were free enough to kick around. "Six King GUN!" A powerful beam of chi enveloped Sheila for a couple seconds, but she was able to swing her feet at an arch, shoot a double Light Kick, and suddenly bend Lucci's arms to redirect at his head. His still-active King Gun swallowed his head and tore apart his mane. Sheila escaped as Mason flew by via Gas Rocket, grabbed, and carried her a safe distance.
"You okay, Captain?" Mason asked, feeding her a Flurp to rejuvenate her stamina.
"Hah, thanks, mate. Don't worry, I almost got 'im."
"He already took plenty of damage from Maddy and Sector Q earlier." Dillon said. "I think we can do this!"
"At this rate, the Newborn will never show up." Lucci said. "I may as well cut my losses and lea-"
The Sector Q operatives flew overhead on a new ship and shot down Lucci's and Nya's. "That should cancel their escape plans!" Eddy stated. "GUN's on standby, ready to make arrests! And by the way, we made a special request to them."
A small squad of helicopters flew over the battle site. "There they are, men! Throw on the Ultra-V!"
Blinding spotlights shone over the street. "STREWTH! Now we're talking light!" Sheila kicked on Eternal Sun Fury, her Light Chi taking the shape of yellowish-white flames dancing wildly around her body. She dashed at Lucci with blinding speed, his Shaves unable to outpace her speed as she punched from several angles. She punched huge spheres that he tried to slice with Tempests, and when Sheila was suddenly behind him, he channeled Gold Haki to his back—only for Sheila to send a Light Fist around and pull back against his chest.
"ROAR!" Lucci activated his Primal Fury, his claws and fangs sharpened with Gold Haki. He gnashed Fang Pistols, enhanced in size and sawing through Sheila's spheres. She zipped around to confuse him, but Lucci tracked her motions more sharply and stabbed her stomach with two claws. Lucci seized her neck in his tail, but Sheila willed one of the ultraviolet lights to shoot a beam and briefly blind him, followed by a Light Cutlass to stretch into his own stomach. Lucci wildly spun and threw her through three houses. The lion focused his sights on Mason, but the boy filled himself with Gold Flurp in preparation, enhancing his own speed to evade Lucci. He bombarded him with Gas Bombs until Sheila zipped her way over. Her Light Tail grew to huge size as she spun and whipped Lucci. The lion spun to counter with Tempest Tail, sawing up several ruined homes. However, Sheila had already ceased her attack to evade this, leaping above Lucci to slam a giant fist onto his head.
Lucci Shaved several feet away and unleashed a Six King Gun, even bigger than the first, but only for a brief second. Sheila dodged it, but Lucci changed position and blasted another, Sheila blocking with two equal-sized Light Hands. Lucci Moon Walked to the air and fired his Six King at the ultraviolet ships, blotting out the lights. "That should darken your spirits!" Lucci landed and unleashed one final King Gun. Mason jumped in the way and bellowed a gaping Gas Rocket, while Sheila condensed her chi to a small point. She fired a condensed Light Beam through the King Gun, piercing it, but Lucci's Gold Teeth blocked it from damaging him. After the beam died down, Sheila dashed up to Lucci, who used Forgetful Glance—but Sheila expected this and zipped away to get a handle on him. Lucci Shaved and swiped both claws, but Sheila grabbed them in giant hands. She used them as props to hoist up her body and rapidly kick him with giant Light Feet! "GOLDEN IRON BODY!" Lucci hardened himself to his strongest defense to endure her onslaught.
"TAKE THIS, CHEATER!" Mason sat right on his face for a direct and deadly Gas Bomb. His focus completely shattered as his enhanced lion senses absorbed the horrendous scent.
"Too bad you ain't used to it like I am!" With that, Sheila channeled one final Light Sphere to her soles and stamped Lucci with such force that he blasted through dozens of ruined homes. His Primal Fury died as he morphed back into his human form. (End song.)
"Huff…huff…" Lucci pulled himself up, panting. As the operatives caught up and surrounded him, Dillon helping Sheila to walk, the assassin couldn't bring himself to muster any Haki. "You Kids Next Door… think you've become the law. You think you're justice. That is why… you're just as bad as the-"
A shotgun punctured his right knee, bringing Lucci down. That same gun shot him in the shoulders. Doug Murphy was the culprit, Danika York beside him. "You know, Lucci, we really should kill you after all you did." Danika said. "But we're too soft. Instead, you can live with the pain of your failure." She threw her daggers as Cheshire helped sliced off Lucci's knees.
"Nngh…ha ha ha… kill me or not… our legacy… will live… just like… Andrew would've wanted…" And so, the Lion Usurper passed out from blood loss. (Play "Tatl and Tael Reunited" from Majora's Mask.)
The GUN soldiers quickly moved to place Lucci and Nya into separate trucks, and needed some helicopters to haul the giant fridge with Deadpool and Vanessa away. Firefighters began to douse Quahog of its flames. "Make sure you keep a close watch on them!" Danika ordered. "Their friends could try to rescue them."
"Though if they did, we could just as easily trap them." Maddy figured. She picked up the One-Punch Gauntlets and stashed them in an Infi-Cube. "He was going to use those to destroy Pandora." said Mako, the squirrel perched on Maddy's buff shoulder. "I wonder if that's how they pulled off the other kills?"
"Maybe. …So, are you just a squirrel now?"
"I was only gonna change for the gag, but this form is way too cute! I think I'll keep it for a while."
"Hah, looks like everything worked out down there." Quill smiled. "We better report to Moonbase pronto. But I think I see your family down there, Miko. Wanna check up on them?"
"Absolutely!" With a spry spirit, Miko jumped out the ship—"WAIT, this was a bad id-" but Maddy's fist to her stomach broke the fall. "Ow, that was… still pretty painful. Ahem, thanks!" She zipped off.
The Kubotas returned to town along with other townspeople, downtrodden at the state of Quahog. This included a mysterious, hooded woman. "Mom! Dad!" But the family was delighted to see their daughter return. "I'm so glad you're all okay!"
"All thanks to you kiddos!" Hugh smiled. "And especially this little guy."
They stepped apart, revealing a blushing Kalluto. "Come on, man, it's okay!" Lexi elbowed him. "Like I said… Miko, this is my friend, Kalluto! The assassin who protected me in Aincrad."
"Howdy, Kal-man! Thanks for saving my family!" Miko held a hand out.
"I…I don't deserve it."
"Oh, just take the hand!" Lexi forced him to shake it.
"He said that red man was his master." Nica mentioned.
"He was…"
"What's an 'assissin,' Mommy?" Lee asked.
"I'll tell you later, honey."
Francis zipped the Chaos Emeralds in a backpack. "Should probably have these brought to Mobius. By the way, Dillon… where is Midna, anyway?"
"She hid somewhere after the first assassin attacked us. She was a silver-haired girl. I don't know where either of them are."
"No, but I think it's safe to come out now." A girl said.
"?!" Dillon gasped as Midna emerged from a shadow. "Midna! Were you still in town this whole time?"
"It isn't exactly hard to hide! But I thought I'd come out and join this celebration."
"Heh, it's too soon to celebrate now. …! Man, I almost forgot! Guys, we should go to Sector W! Our friends went to fight one of the other assassins!"
"Oi need some first aid, mate." Sheila said.
"I still got power to spare." Maddy smirked. "Let's head to-"
SHING!
Midna's head fell clean off her body, which dispersed into shadowy mist. "AAAH!" The sudden happening didn't prepare Francis when the assaulter stole his backpack and cut him in the process.
"ANOTHER ENEMY!" Maddy tried to chase, but the figure began Moon Walking up the air.
"AH HAHAHAHAHA! YA SNOOZE, YA LOSER, LUH-OO-SERS!"
"Who the hell is she?!" Mason shouted. "She looks like she has… hands for feet?"
"That voice!" Kalluto exclaimed. "IT'S MANDY!"
"MANDY?!" Miko gasped. "The Yonko?!"
"Her name's Mandy Beret, she was one of our teachers! Well, she didn't really teach in class much… but, they said she was killed by Master Sephiroth!"
"Another Firstborn down! I knew you'd drop your guard when you felt nice and safe! Sucks those guys got arrested though. Think it's time to pay those chumps a little visit!" She called her aircraft over with her remote control and took flight.
"Gah…Midna… I can't believe it!" Dillon punched the street. "MOTHER FUCKER!"
"Watch your language, young man." Midna peeped from a shadow.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"Shhhhhh! Did you really think I'd show myself so easy? I was trying to bait out any hidden assassins!"
"Ugh, don't frickin' scare me like that! Let's hurry and tell Sector Q!"
Other sectors…
Suki Crystal had formed ice barriers to protect homes from Shadow's rampage. But the hedgehog had his eyes set on new foes. "Heh…right on time." he said to Sector IC. "Now… show me that Newborn."
Miyuki stepped forward, scythe drawn. "I don't think so."
…
Romeo and Wendy slumped on their knees, panting. Little Victini squirmed helpless in Chase's firm grasp. "It's been fun… but you're far too early to face me." Chase smashed Victini beneath his other fist, KOing the poor spirit.
"AAAGH!" Romeo unleashed a blast of Soft Fire, Wendy enhancing it with a Sky Dragon's Roar, but Chase stood protected in his Protego.
…
Aurora remained unflinching as her lightning-fast sword dueled Sephiroth's. "Hey!" Emily yelled. "There's a ship coming! I sense three presences on it! A couple of them feel like…"
"LEAVE… BROTHER… ALONE…" Diancie launched from the ship, her eyes and diamond features turned dark.