Sector Q explained the situation to Vanellope as they drove to their destination, followed by Demetra and Guy's trio. The four racetracks they would have to cross would be the Water Park, Western Valley, Ice Cream Shop, and then the Prehistoric Caverns.
"So, how come we aren't letting those other guys know about the hearts?" Vanellope asked. "Are they enemies?"
"Nah, Kazma's just not cool with them." Jenny replied passively. "I mean, they are kinda grudgey…"
"So, Vanellope, is Carol monitoring you from a computer?" Eddy asked. "I'm actually controlling an A.I. from mine."
"So, you're not actually in the game?"
"No. It's the best way to watch over my friends while still being with them."
"Ah, okay…" Vanel narrowed her eyes with a nod, though they briefly sparked the eye symbol. "But yeah, she's watching over me. Unlike you, I have my own free will~ I'm too cool to be controlled."
…
"Yeah, that's the snappy remark she would make." XANA sneered. "But they're sure to be onto me before long. Good thing Sark is already on the way."
The kids all lined up at the Water Park's starting line. Quill's kart matched his clothes, white with black streaks, three engines on the top back, and 'Q' shapes inside the tires. Kazma rode in his bunny seat, having assumed his rabbit form for this contest. Jenny reused her Mega Rollers, with Miko in the buddy seat, and Eddy drove a kart that resembled a big pair of glasses, carrying Carmine on his seat.
"Just so you know, we're still playing to win." Demetra said. "We're gonna be fighting each other for the boss."
"Yeah, well we're a team." Quill stated. "And Vanel and I are the best racers there are."
"How did you change back into your avatar anyway, Kazma?" Arnold asked.
"None of your business!"
"Me_K.O., I have a query." Boly said. "Our strategy may be more effective with you piloting a kart. Do you not possess expertise in racing games?"
"Yeah, but I don't mind being a passenger. These guys are awesome!"
"You bet we are!" Jenny expressed confidently. "Get ready!"
The stoplight Lakitu hovered over the Start. "One… two… three… GO!" (Play "Maka Wuhu" from Mario Kart!)
Act 2: Dino Cup Race
Eddy and Jenny sped off with the other racers while Quill and Vanellope started a little later. "Man, I can't believe WE have to be the tail end." Vanel complained. "I race to win, dang it!"
"I feel the same, but this is a different kind of winning!" Quill reminded. "Just keep in touch with the others."
The karts would speed over some shallow water, and could drive through Rain Rings that would erupt gushes of water to give them a small boost. Arnold knocked Jenny away to stop her from going through one, and he landed on a mushroom platform that had a Flight Ramp. Quill saw this and decided to follow Arnold, the flight leading them to the deck of a small pirate ship. There was a Riddler Trophy set on the keel, so they took it as they pursued Arnold. They grabbed some ?-Blocks, with Arnold earning three bananas and Quill triple Red Shells. The ship deck ended at a boost ramp that landed them on a narrow route atop some mushroom platforms. The other racers would have to drift between and around these mushrooms as they poured waterfall barriers. Arnold dropped the bananas along the upper route, but Quill destroyed them with the shells.
"Aha!" Quill could already see it: a Crystal Switch on a further mushroom, in which they would have to jump other mushrooms over a chasm of water. Arnold was about to attempt this—his Safety Antenna held him back and dropped him back on the main road. Quill and Kazma laughed as they made the jumps, ramming the crystal as it lit up.
"Sweet! We've already got the first one!" Vanel exclaimed.
The other racers would hit a spring that would bounce them to the top of a water slide. They would be miniaturized as they drove down the slide, grabbing another line of item blocks. The flowing water helped speed them along, though it was hard to keep traction. In 5th place, Eddy got Triple Mushrooms, but when he made the boost, "WHOOOAA!" he ended up going up the side of the slide, flying off it, and landing on a further part. Carmine clasped onto her seat during this leap, her body flailing behind her, and was quite dizzied by the landing. "Phew…"
"Eddy, behind you!"
"Huh?!" With a gasp, he dodged an incoming Blue Shell. "Thanks, Carmine! But who's in the… Quill!"
Carmine quickly called Quill with the Friend Code, "Quill, there's a Blue Shell coming!"
The water slide would launch the tiny racers into a large swimming pool, where they would have to speed over giant inner-tubes while giant A.I. kids would blast water from foam noodles. Quill's shortcut already brought him on this course, and luckily, an item box gave him a Super Horn. When the Blue Shell caught up to him, he used the horn to blast it away. "Thanks! I think I'll wait for you guys to go ahead. Listen, I see a shortcut!"
The others received his message by the time they began driving the swimming pool. Miko looked back and asked, "Hey, who's that?"
A racer in grayish armor and bright red stripes was pursuing them on a motorcycle of similar colors. "Looks like he wanted to join the fun!" Vanellope smirked. "The more, the merrier!"
"Alert! Unregistered glitch detected!"
"A glitch?" Miko asked. "You mean…"
The new racer glitched and acquired a Boomerang item, tossing it at the operatives. Jenny dodged, and since they had acquired a Star, Miko switched it on for invincibility. "Hey, guys, there's another racer on the tracks! I think it's an evil glitch!"
"What are the odds they're another operative?" Carmine asked.
"No time to ask!" Eddy yelled. "Quick, the shortcut!"
The shortcut in question would be to jump off an inner-tube and onto a foam noodle leaning away from them. They zoomed up the noodle and into its water cannon, launching them out of the pool. Normally, the track would guide them back to the start, but they were now racing underneath the pool's barred borders. They would return to size and drive into a Western town, starting the 2nd lap. Doors and windows would burst open as cowboys quickly fired guns. Rez's vehicle was shot and stunned, and Demetra bumped Francis into a cactus.
Miko spotted an alternate route through an alley, Jenny twisting left to enter it as they cut through a small canyon. They would get a ?-Block and hit a Glide Ramp and launch off over a chasm, flying to a mountainous area with a train. If they followed the main road, it would cross a long path over the chasm before snaking around to the train. "…?!" Miko panicked as the red racer was gliding after them. He had Triple Red Shells, but all they had was a single Green. The Green protected them from the first Red, but the second Red would send them falling before they could make it!
Fortunately, Quill was already gliding after them, having gained a Boo. The Boo stole the racer's other two shells as he fired one at the cycle driver. Jenny and Miko landed epically against the side of the train, the gravity shifting in their favor. The red racer crashed against the train as well, Quill parking to confront him. "Are you an enemy?!"
The racer's visor faded, exposing his droll gray face. "I am Commander Sark. On my master's command, you operatives are scheduled for deresolution!"
"Yeah, make me!" Quill tried to ram the commander, but he dodged. Quill kept driving as Sark remounted his cycle.
The other racers would catch up and begin driving on the side of the train. They were about to hit a wall, and the roof of the train was unavailable, too, so they had to steer right and drive on the underside of the tracks. Jenny glanced left and saw the Crystal Switch partway off the track and over the chasm. "There's the switch! But how do we hit it?!"
"Maybe if we had a Boomerang like that guy was using!" Miko suggested.
The duo hit another item block, hoping it would land on a Boomerang… but they got a Mushroom. "Crud! Miko, call the others!"
By the time Eddy spotted the switch in question, he only acquired a Blue Shell. He huffed and decided to drive backwards for another chance at the blocks, letting the shell fly as well. Naturally, the Lakitu would hover over him, wagging his finger in a 'No' fashion as he signaled Eddy to U-turn. Naturally, Eddy ignored and kept retrying the blocks until he got a Boomerang. Carmine tossed it at the Crystal Switch. "Finally! We got the 2nd switch!"
"Off to the third lap!" Quill said, continuing to outrun Sark. There would eventually be a hole in the tracks for the upside-down racers to fall down onto the ceiling of the train. "Dang, this is such a cool track! Like, can all of the later levels just be racetracks?"
Arnold tailed behind Sark and got a Bob-omb, deciding to drop it within the narrow train to blow up the racers behind him. Rez had a Bullet Bill and used it to plow through the train, taking down Arnold and Sark, but Quill managed to outrun the bullet before it wore off. Afterwards, Quill got a Triple Green Shell, leaving Kazma to shoot it backwards at the foes. Quill was in 3rd, Jenny in 2nd, and Demetra in first. The racers would exit the train and onto a path carved from the canyon, going vertically down and twisting as it would curve up into a Flight Ramp.
Normally, the ramp would send them across the chasm and onto a path that returned to the Western town. But instead, it was flying them to a large, frosty fortress with giant ice cream on top. The racers landed in a sort of garage for ice cream trucks, beginning the third lap.
…
Eddy's eyes were fixed on the exciting race, determined to catch up. When his phone started ringing, he used his toe to hit the answer button, followed by the Speaker. "Hey, Eddy, Vanellope's run into some trouble in the Elevator Tower!" Carol told him.
"What? Vanellope's helping us in the race."
"What? She's not at any race!"
"Then who's…?"
"Eddy, is that Carol?" Carmine asked the avatar. "What's wrong with Vanel?"
"Carol says that Vanellope isn't with us. …It must be an impostor!"
Giant ice cream scoops rolled onto the track, the racers dodging as they searched for shortcuts. Sark gave himself a Place Swap and shot it at Francis, bringing himself closer to Vanellope. The two shared a glance as Vanel secretly gestured him after Quill while she targeted Jenny. Jenny rolled up a slope of spilled ice cream and could race over the vents, forcibly shrinking to enter a vent. They collected a ?-Block with a Mushroom, using it to boost against the vent's wind. Both girls bore a look of concern after receiving Carmine and Eddy's message… and when the echoes of an engine were heard behind them, they saw 'Vanellope' herself tailing.
The other racers followed the main road, which became narrow with a pit of freezing water surrounding them. The vent that Jenny was traveling in crossed along this room's ceiling. They used ramps to jump gaps in the pit, but Quill was shot by a Red Shell from Arnold, who passed him. Quill acquired a Red Shell and kept going, but Sark had passed him as well.
The commander smirked as he readied to use his next item: a Gatling Peter. Peter Griffin spawned on the back of his cycle, laughing "Hehehehehehe!" as he fired a gatling at Quill. Quill hastily avoided the gatling and shot the Red Shell, destroying Peter's gun. As Quill tried to catch up, they had to drift right and enter a freezer of giant ice cream buckets. They curved right, then left to go up a slope, twisting further left—Quill hit a banana that Francis dropped.
Jenny's vent would exit to this area, keeping her slightly ahead of the racers except for Demetra. She grabbed Triple Green Shells as Miko shot some back at 'Vanellope.' The fake racer dodged, glaring as she realized they must've determined her secret. Luckily, her item block gave her a Quagmire. "Giggity-giggity-giggity…!" The big-chinned Glenn Quagmire drove beside Vanellope. The lean man would home in on Jenny and Miko and drag them off-screen.
But that was before Demetra suddenly drove back, allowing Quagmire to target her. "YOU OWE ME!" she yelled as she was taken off-screen.
Jenny and Miko shared a worried glance, but kept speeding. They would enter a frosty tunnel as the gravity seemed to twist them around. Streams of chocolate syrup fell from the ceiling (making it seem like they were rising in their vision). Jenny had to perform a tight and constant drift rightward, swirling around and around until they exited out the top. They flipped right-side-up as they launched off a Flight Ramp from a giant mound of swirly ice cream at the roof of the fortress. They flew directly to another swirl, landed, and swirled around it before launching off another Flight Ramp. They would land on an outdoor restaurant where many children were feasting ice cream at tables! As Jenny swerved around the customers, "Ah-HAAAAA!" she screamed at spotting the Crystal Switch over to the left. She swerved wildly on the icy surface and returned to hit the switch.
'Vanellope' tried to ram them, but Jenny bent the large shoes to kick and bounce off. The fake growled and saw the other racers heading to the next lap. The road that would return to the start was blocked by a fence, so the racers would slope down a secret hatch into a cavern. "Alright, we only have one switch to find!" Quill said.
"We'll never let you have the heart!" Sark yelled.
The inside of the Prehistoric Caverns had a glistening crystal ceiling and a jungle. Raptors ran onto the track in attempt to bite the racers, evading as they zoomed up a ramp while seizing ?-Blocks. They would land in a brachiosaurus valley, wherein Quill tried to land on an incoming one's back, only for Sark to knock him off, ride up the dino's neck, and hit a Glide Ramp. Quill growled in anger, but noticed he had gotten a Spring Pad. He used this to spring up to the back of another brachiosaur, which had another Glide Ramp.
It would fly them over another drifting zone, but Quill's particular ramp would lead him to an elevated track to the right of the main track. Whilst the other racers had to jump platforms over a muddy pit, Quill had to jump platforms over a chasm, performing a drift at the same time. A ramp launched him off and perpendicularly on the back of a pterodactyl. As the dactyl's wings flapped, Quill did a ramp jump off the wing, did the same with another, then hit the Crystal Switch on a platform.
Quill could drop back to the main track, in which they would submerge as propellers replaced their engines. Quill evaded the aquatic dino eels that rose from the ground, but was otherwise worriedly looking for whatever opened up. He drove off a ledge and had to rely on bubble jets to keep him aloft. He saw a tunnel to the right and drove into it. The tunnel led out of the water and onto a bridge that led safely over a field of triceratops. He seized an item block with a single banana.
"Quill! Over there!" Kazma pointed. Quill immediately stopped the kart and looked left and backwards.
The racers would have to drive through the herd of charging triceratops, so none of them would think to make a U-turn and drive toward the large door with four glowing gems. Quill shared a smirk with Kazma and drove off the bridge, heading for that door. Sadly, Sark managed to snipe him with a Green Shell and headed for the door, only for Quill to chuck the banana and snipe him as well. As Quill raced for the doorway, the U-turn Lakitu hovered and gestured him to turn back. Quill shot him a raspberry, passing the stunned Sark. The commander tried to speed after him, but Kazma jumped off his buddy seat and grabbed the enemy Program, beginning to brawl with him.
Quill shot Kazma a thumbs-up and entered the Boss Door. The Guy's trio tried to drive in after him, but their Safeties forced them back to the track. "Sorry, boys!" Demetra taunted. "No fighting the boss on Safety Mode!"
As Jenny and Miko were outmaneuvering the evil Vanellope, a bunch of cows and birds seemed to come rushing out of the Boss Door. Once they had finished, the door sealed. "Looks like it's all up to Quill now." (End song.)
Quill drove down into a cave as the Lakitu was still angrily telling him to turn around. "Whoa!" Quill dodged around a herd of cows and birds, royally baffled by their presence. "Ugh, and would you stop making that noise?!" he yelled at the Lakitu.
"D'ooooohh!" Lakitu growled, speaking in a nasally voice. "You scared all my cows and birds away at the same time! What am I going to feed my T-Roller now?! Wait, I know! I'll just feed him you!"
Quill watched as Lakitu flew down a ledge to the right of the track. (Play "Boss Battle 2" from Star Fox 64!)
Slowly, a mechanical T-Rex head rose from the cliff. It was followed by the body of a truck with steam engines and four giant wheels. The vehicle jumped and landed on the track ahead of Quill. The Lakitu operated it from a cockpit on its head. "I'll teach you to break into my secret base! Yaaah!"
Boss fight: T-Roller
The T-Roller shot rapid fireballs from its tail engine, trying to stay lined up with Quill as he swerved to the sides. He couldn't steer too far to either side lest he fall off the cliff, but when there were lulls in the rounds of fire, he could steer to the other side. Quill hit an item block and earned Triple Green Shells. He fired them at the wheels and caused the mech to sink down, to where its engine was level with Quill. He resumed evading the fire until he could grab another ?-Block, giving him a Fire Flower. It was fitting as he shot the flames at the mech's tail, destroying it.
The T-Roller kept rolling as its upper portion twisted around, the head facing Quill. It would stretch its head to bite Quill, but he could hit the brakes to get just out of range before resuming pace. Quill saw a Boost Ramp and decided to launch off it—the T-Roller was able to snag him in the air and damage his kart. As Quill landed and recomposed himself, a ?-Block granted him Triple Bananas. He launched a banana as the T-Roller caught and chewed it. Seeing another ramp coming, he leaned right to launch off it, but the T-Roller outpaced him. The dino finished chewing, so Quill shot another banana to bait it. He then launched the third banana behind the Roller, causing its wheels to slip. It began moving slower as Lakitu tried to recalibrate it, so Quill could fly off the Boost Ramp and land his kart forcefully against the cockpit.
A heavy blow was done to the Lakitu, so he furiously launched three Red Shells behind Quill. The shells homed on him, but Quill saw stalactites falling ahead. He drove under the stalactites to make the shells crash into them. The T-Roller faced the opposite way and sped ahead, firing more rounds of fire and dodging stalactites. One of the jagged stones dropped a ?-Block, which gave Quill a Blooper. The Blooper's ink would blot Lakitu's vision, driving the T-Roller erratically as stalactites hit his cockpit. The ink wore off as Lakitu ordered his vehicle to leap behind Quill. He seemed to stay a good distance away, but Quill panicked when the Blue Shell was fired.
There were several Dash Panels to help Quill outrun the inevitable shell, its N64 siren sound ringing in his ears. He hit a ?-Block, desperately hoping for a Super Horn… but what he got instead was a Place Swap. Smirking deviously, Quill fired the Swap backwards, hitting T-Roller. He warped behind the mecha-dino, causing the Blue Shell to set its sights on it. The shell flew up and collided epically with the truck's main body. Its severed head dropped down to connect with the four tires.
The dino faced Quill and would try to slow down and lure him under its head. The head would stretch up and smash down on Quill, but a tight left steer between the tires would evade. The pattern repeated a couple times before Quill seized the ?-Block. Now equipped with a Super Horn, Quill waited for the head to get above him. He honked the horn and blew the tires right off! The head blew ahead and began bouncing along the ground, ready to catch Quill in its jaws. He caught one more ?-Block just in time, giving him a Piranha Plant. The large plant attached to the front of his kart and helped him boost toward the T-Head. The piranha's jaws munched away at what remained of the mech, tearing it to pieces until the Lakitu was yanked out. (End song.)
"Ehhhh!" The Lakitu landed on one foot and spun around. "All I wanted to do was feed cows and birds to a dino truck. It was a clean fuel source! Why…" He fell over and derezzed.
Two items spawned from where he lay: a Boss Key and an orange heart. Quill walked up to touch the heart: it flashed and soared out of the cave. (Play "Old Site Cassette" from Celeste.)
Miko finished off the fake Vanellope in time to see the Pure Heart fly out of the cave. The entire floor darkened as it whooshed miles away, leaving a blue and pink track in its place. Boly helped to spawn a Hinobi Kart for her to drive.
Miko had to steer left or right when the respective rhythm panels became active or not. She had to launch off a blue ramp when it was active, and it would safely land her on a purple ramp, and the pattern repeated as Miko performed a trick combo to the next track. The track would curve up, right, and vertical as gravity shifted. Miko performed a continuous drift over the changing tiles: because she kept with the rhythm, they would change just as she crossed over. The drift steered leftward as the track was twisting upside-down. It eventually curved back upright as Miko drove to a series of on-and-off walls, which also had spikes on them. Miko drove toward the ones that were active to be ready to pass them when they switched off. For the last leg of the track, Miko would have to go up a set of long stairs, each an alternate color. Miko would have to bounce her kart to get atop these segments. Once successful, she rammed the Pure Heart.
A shockwave crossed the whole floor as 8-bit victory music sounded. Miko felt warm as the orange heart entered her chest. (End song.)
Sark seemed to malfunction from the force of the shockwave, becoming locked in place. Miko came soaring back as light returned to the racing world, with Quill exiting the Boss Room. "Dude, what the heck was that?" Arnold asked.
"Beating a boss, that's what it was!" Kazma retorted.
"That wasn't just beating a boss." Rez said. "You guys know something, don't you?"
"We know a faster way to fix the game." Jenny answered.
"You serious?" Francis asked hopefully.
"Yeah. But if you really wanna know, then you have to accept Kazma's apology."
"What? Come on, that's cheap!"
"Then I guess you guys don't wanna get out of here quicker." Kazma smirked.
"Fine, we accept your apology!" Rez said. "Now, will you tell us?"
"You don't sound like you mean it."
"Man, you're a dick." Arnold snapped.
"Okay, fine. If we collect these eight heart things, we can fix the game. Basically, there's only eight certain bosses we gotta beat, and we defeated two of them."
"Seriously?! Why didn't you tell us earlier?"
"Because you guys are jerks. I didn't want you to have the glory of finding the hearts before we did. I know I picked a fight with your leader, but at least I tried to apologize."
"Alright, we're sorry for giving you a hard time." Francis said, trying to sound as genuine as he could despite his frustration.
"Agh!" Sark seemed to break free of his malfunction, drawing a Light Disc. "So, you're the carrier of those hearts! Looks like I'll have to tear you open!"
Arnold drew a thick bo staff and bashed Sark's head. Sark flipped away and tossed his disc, looping behind Arnold and bashing his head. Francis drew a laser gun to shoot the commander. "Who's this guy supposed to be, anyway?"
"He's an enemy glitch!" Miko answered.
"Then we'll hold him off! Hurry and get going!"
"What do you mean you will?" Quill asked.
"Hey, we may be dorks, but we're gamers." Rez reminded him, donning a pair of gauntlets. "We don't get beaten by CPU!"
"Especially since they got ME to help them!" Demetra declared, taking Sark by surprise as she tossed shock rods at the Program. "But this is another one you owe me." She winked at Jenny.
"You got it, girl." Jenny acknowledged. "So, what's the plan, Quill?"
Though Quill had his concerns, these gamers still had him outnumbered four-to-one. But was their skill really up to the task? It's not like they were operatives, but-
"You guys better not die!" Kazma told them as if making the decision himself. "And you better run if your HP starts to drop."
"It's a deal!" Rez declared, socking Sark in the jaw.
"Alright… we'll leave it to you." Quill decided. "And let's race again sometime!" With that, they mounted their karts and made the drive back to—Quill crossed the Finish Line and triggered the victory music. "HEY, I WON! I guess we never actually finished the race! WOO!"
Demetra passed them a smile as the heroes traveled back to the Elevator Tower. "Your friends are impressive, Miko… but don't let them hold you back."
Elevator Tower
The real Vanellope had gotten into battle with a brown-haired man in black armor with yellow circuitry. His Light Disc whirled around him and formed a shield as Vanellope rapidly glitched around him. She tried to zip through an opening, but was knocked back by the disc as her body fizzed erratically. He tried to stomp her, but she had already glitched away to land a kick to the head. "You're pretty annoying for a glitch that can barely hold her form!"
"And you're prett—YYYYYYYYYYY…" Her body froze and stalled on this syllable for several seconds, "-or a bad guy!"
The man whose username was CLU kicked Vanellope in the head. "Wherever you came from, it seems this game's code is too advanced for you!" He threw his disc, but Vanel dodged and zipped around again. When she attempted to kick him, her leg fizzed out, so CLU grabbed her by the neck and choked. "This game is going to be a perfect system! Once we've eradicated all you glitches, our plan can finally-"
A blue Light Disc was thrown and hit CLU's head, dropping Vanellope. "Hey, that's no way to treat cute characters!"
CLU looked over in anger. "What?! I-It can't be… who programmed you into this game?"
The man in white armor with blue circuitry flipped over to kick the confused CLU. "Come on, Vanel!" He grabbed her arm and ran away with her. "I know a floor we can hide out on!"
"W-Wait, who are you?!"
"My name is Tron!" He shot her a grin. "At least, I think this is how he's supposed to look."
Myujen
The girl in the red school uniform, Maki explored the mall of this extravagant Christmas floor. "Ho ho ho!" laughed the mall Santa with a small Lunarian boy in his lap. "And what would you like to have, little Moonshine02864?"
"I wanna have a big, bouncy moon ball that can bounce me really high!"
"Ho ho! Well, if you look under my magic tree, there might be a surprise for you!"
The boy crawled under the giant tree in the center of the mall. A present materialized with his name on it. Moonshine excitedly unwrapped the box as a large, inflatable moon puffed out of it. "Wow! Thanks, Santa!" He carried the ball outside gleefully.
Maki was the next person in line. "Hello, young lady! What's your username?"
Maki lashed her leg and sent a Tempest Kick. The kick passed Santa and cut the trunk of the tree. The tree slowly toppled over and crushed Santa under its ornaments. Maki had already dodged it and was walking away.
The ominous "Here Comes Trouble" music from Banjo resounded as the mall darkened. Santa Claus rose from the tree, his eyes shining with malice as he levitated. His voice echoed with omniscience. "Now, LISTEN here, you little bitch! I work my jolly old ass off to make these kids happy, so I don't like it when entitled little tramps waltz in here and cut down my damn tree!"
"Don't act so proud. Your gifts are all phony, off-brand products. They all conk out within an hour's time, and they've caused some cocky players to die. You're going to pay for what you've done."
"Well, EXCUSE me for taking a few shortcuts when I've got ten trillion gifts to create! Those little shits would've gotten tired of them in a day's time, anyway. What else do you expect me to do when all I get are milk and cookies for a salary?!"
"Maybe you should've found a better job."
"Oh, I'm about to enjoy my job quite a lot as I mount your head on the back of my one horse open sleigh. Come at me, you motherfucker!"
To summarize the fight, Santa Claus shot lasers from his eyes, Maki returned Finger Pistols, then he charged at her belly first, to which she used Iron Body with her sharp fingers aimed forward to puncture his belly. Santa would later start riding above on his sleigh and drop present bombs, which Maki would grab and throw back to damage him. Santa would start driving on land as the reindeer tried to ram her, but by kicking off Rudolph's nose, the reindeer would be steering aimlessly and crashing into columns. Maki eventually won by giving a grenade to a dimwitted reindeer, who would deliver it to Santa as a present, exploding them.
The student assassin walked out of the mall with the Boss Key in hand. "Two down…"
"Hey! Maki Roll! There you are!"
"?!" She gasped, seeing a thin man in a purple coat running over. He was an alien with a hood and a single eye that resembled a planet. "Kaito?! Is that you?!"
"Yeah, I've been looking everywhere for you! As soon as I heard what happened, I had to be here and protect you!"
"What?! You knew we were trapped in the game and you came in, anyway?! You idiot!"
"Don't call me an idiot! I wasn't gonna let some game scare me. Or my name isn't Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars!"
"God, I can't stand you sometimes." Maki stomped away in a huff.
"Relax, Maki, I have Miu watching over me. …Though in hindsight, that might've been a mistake."
"THAT is the mistake?!"
"Look, we're gonna get you out of here! Miu says that all games have a Code Room somewhere, and if we found that, we could probably do something."
"I wouldn't know anything about that. But as far as we know, the only way to escape is to defeat the 100 bosses."
"A hundred bosses in one game? Geez, these developers don't respect players' time. Fine, so where do we start?"
"I've already started, but you're staying somewhere safe! You know you're not built for combat."
"I am now. I gave myself spacebending!" He shot a Starburst skyward.
"That won't help when you don't know how to use it!"
"Are you okay, Maki? You seem stressed out."
"YOU THINK?!" She whipped around with raging eyes. "I've been wandering around for over a day without sleep, only able to find two damn bosses, and all of a sudden YOU'RE here and…and…" Losing the will to argue, Maki sighed and embraced him in a hug. "I'm glad to see you…"
"Hey, chin up." Kaito hugged her back. "What happened to those other assassins, anyway?"
"I wanted to work alone."
"Well, it's no wonder you're all grouchy! Games are more fun when you have someone to share your frustration with!"
"This 'game' is hardly fun, and far above frustrating."
"Yeah, but it's still important to take breaks. Why don't we see what this game passes for food?"
"I'm not low on HP, and it's not like my actual body absorbs the nutrition."
"Nonsense! If you believe that it's real food, then your body will believe it, too!"
"That makes absolutely no sense."
"You'll understand someday, Maki! Now, let's look for a restaurant!" Kaito ran off eagerly.
"Great… now I have to babysit this idiot. …Well, that should make this job a bit more enjoyable." Maki smiled and followed him.
Gun Gale
Sector SA's group engaged in combat in a field of giant lava lamps, containing their blue and pink colors, and stairs led to different floors. Nagisa ran out onto the field, shooting his twin pistols, and as he expected, Morgiana ran out to engage him, kicking her ankle cannons. Nagisa nimbly dodged her attacks and shot at her, but Morgiana wasn't slow herself. She was then struck from behind by Killua's yo-yos, which would shoot ink everywhere from their spinning. Morg growled and leapt away, showing frustration while the boys smirked.
"They're annoying, aren't they?" Constanyou remarked, sending small robots out to try and explode the boys, but they easily leapt away.
"Yeah." Morg sent kicks at Millium when she slid by. Sinon perched herself on a high point and tried to snipe them, but Morg grabbed Constan and leapt behind a lava lamp. "Honestly, I love Nagisa, but he's too close to Killua for his own good."
"Amanda hangs out with a few bad boys herself. Anyway, here's the plan."
Goombella ran out to shoot her Head Cannon at Millium, the Inkling evading and returning fire as the two tiny members engaged. Sinon let them be and shot other areas of the lower field. After Constan gained enough charge, she activated Inkjets and flew up to blast at Sinon. Sinon hid behind a lava lamp, so Constan decided to shoot down at Killua. He ran up the stairs in evasion, but Morg suddenly leapt down and kicked him off, having already climbed a chain to get up there. She stomped Killua's face with a blast of ink to accompany it, splatting him as he warped back to the start. "Looks like you're discovering a new kink, Morgie!"
"I'll kill you when you step out of there!" Morgiana switch on her power-up, growing a giant pair of boots to stomp around and leaving a large trail. Nagisa had escaped into a small corridor on the side of the field, but Morg was able to fit into that corridor and cover his blue trail. The corridor led up and exited to the second floor. As soon as the power-up wore off, Nagisa ambushed and shot his girlfriend. Morg swung a kick, but Nagisa leapt while dropping some small bombs on the floor. Morg stepped on one as it popped, then Nagisa Shaved behind to shoot her head and splat her.
Around the same time, Goombella managed to splat Millium. Mayyouperish was trying to keep Killua confined to his base, but the boy splatted her with his yo-yos, only to suffer a snipe from Sinon and be sent back to base, anyway. During this period, only four players were active on the field.
"Hey, what's happening?" Sinon asked as the level began to glitch.
The other players were concerned by the occurrence. It was already weird that the game had been extended to 15 minutes, but with only three minutes of the game remaining, what could be happening?
An eerie red shade covered the field as the sound of galloping could be heard. "That sound…" Sinon whispered, pulling her head away from her scope. She felt a shadow over her… and her pupil receded in horror as she turned her head.
A huge figure in a dark cloak and mechanical skull loomed above her on a horse, his red eyes shining. "WHAT?!" Nagisa screamed. "What is…"
"The Reaper?!" Chadley gasped.
"Huh?!" Fie was startled awake. "Whoa, where'd he come from?!"
"I am the harbinger of death…" the Reaper spoke in a loudish, monotone voice. "The black ink that blots out the color of life. I am… DEATH GUN."
"That name is uncreative!" Goombella panicked. "But is that the boss?! I thought he wasn't supposed to appear in Turf Wars!"
"It must be a glitch!" Chadley configured.
The Reaper made a Cross gesture with his arm. He slowly withdrew a gun from his cloak and pointed at Sinon. …Just the sight of that very weapon filled her with pure dread. Is that…Is that a Type 54 "Black Star"?! No… why that gun… Why that gun?!
A memory flashed in her mind of a young black-haired girl, crying as she clutched such a gun in her hands.
Death Gun pulled the trigger and fired a jut of black ink, blotting the spot where Sinon previously lay. …Nagisa had seized Sinon in the blink of an eye and carried her several feet away, aiming his guns at the Reaper. Death Gun rode around them on his horse and tried to shoot Nagisa, the boy dodging and returning shots in turn. A respawned Morgiana flew up to kick the Reaper in the head, but felt her foot sprain from his metallic skull. It seemed only a tiny fragment of HP depleted.
Death Gun disappeared, the group keeping guards raised in search for him. "AAAH!" May screamed from down below as Death Gun spawned near and almost shot her, but Millium surfed by and pulled her out of harm's way. Fie was desperately trying to break the barrier that blocked off the audience. "Millium, just get out of there!"
"But it's just ink!" Millium yelled, trying to shoot the boss. "We still shouldn't be able to die in this game, right?!"
The horse galloped around, charging at Killua as Death Gun shot at him. He dodged easily and dealt a Tempest Kick, but only a fairly small amount of health fell. Death Gun warped again, this time appearing behind Constan. Her expression was of horror as the Reaper loomed over her. Morgiana stomped Death's head, and he began galloping again as they all tried to surround and shoot him. Killua tackled the horse from the front, with Nagisa helping to restrain it. "Sinon!"
Sinon locked on the Reaper from her perch, her rifle quivering. It was just a game… she had to shoot him… He wasn't a real person, right? But his threat was real… it felt real… it felt…
"Come on, kid, give it back!" The ugly-faced robber demanded as he wobbled his way to the child, the gun suspended in her small hands.
Sinon grit her teeth and fired, hitting Death Gun's head. He lost about as much health as when Killua hit him. He galloped away and teleported again, spawning up at Sinon's level. She was frozen in fear as he readied his gun, but it was then that Constan switched on her Inkjets to fly up and shoot him. He shifted focus to Constan, galloping as he fired black ink bullets, with one soaking her leg. When Constan's Inkjet wore off, she grunted as she tried to hoist herself on one leg, as if the other one was already-
…
…
She went deaf as another load of ink soaked her head, the force knocking her over on the floor. Horrified, the others rushed up to attack the Reaper.
Constanyou cracked open her green eyes, absorbing the last ounces of light. The black ink slowly seeped over her irises, and was spreading to her body. "No… I don't… wanna die… Aman…da… Ak…ko…"
When the timer for the Turf War finally ended, Death Gun vanished. The lighting returned to normal, so they believed he had left for sure. But with pure despair, they looked over their teammate's blackened body… as it derezzed into a puddle. "CONSTANZE!!" Morgiana screamed.
Luna Nova Academy
An explosion went off in one of the dorms. The girls of Sector LN were pale as their short-sized friend lay with a head covered in soot, her widened eyes void of life. "CONSTAAAAAAAANZE!" Akko's voice reverberated throughout the entire academy.
"It exploded!" Jasminka cried. "Why did it explode?! I swear I didn't use any magic, I didn't even touch it!"
"AAAAAAHH!" Amanda cried. "I knew we should've tried to take it off! Why didn't we try, Diana, why?!" She tugged on her leader's shirt out of anger.
"We couldn't be sure without testing!" Diana argued through her tears. "The other helmets were immune to magic, and we couldn't just test it on somebody without… I'm so sorry, Amanda!"
"Then I should've gone in and looked for her! God dammit, Constanze!"
"Constanze…" Lotte sobbed against Sucy's cloak. "You were so sweet… such a dependable friend… you didn't deserve this…sniff…"
"Constanze…" Akko sobbed. "I'm so sorry I couldn't help you…"
Luna Nova didn't see the moon that night. The heavens were as clouded as their hearts. The students would sleep somberly once they heard the news about Constanze, the most gifted magitech genius in school. She spoke few words, but now would never speak again…