The Marzipans enjoyed a relaxing sleep that night, relieved to know all their crewmates were back together. Team Kipo slept on the bridge, feeling at ease with the stars hanging over them. When everyone was well-rested, they reactivated the ship's lights and assumed their Daytime Modes. They hung about the bridge as Haylee charted a course for GKND.
"I hear Yumyan writes manly poems…" Kipo sang to herself and positioned her arms as if playing an invisible guitar, "About chainsaws, cranks, and gears. He also shoots lasers from his eyes, And puts out fires with his tears…"
"What are you doing with your arms?" Kohaku asked.
"Playing air guitar. …It's not as fun as a real guitar." Kipo frowned in reminiscence. "So, where are you from?" She perked up and jumped topics. "You look like a tribe person."
"Well, I sort of am. I won't explain too much where I'm from, but it's always been my dream to see outer space. That's why we got Augustus to help. To think that all these stars are other worlds…"
"I totally get what you mean." Kipo smiled. "I actually have an astronomy class at my school. It's so fun to learn about stars, so being in space feels really incredible!"
"If you joined KND, you'd get to come to space all the time." Yuzu commented.
"Yeah, I've always thought about it. But I guess I'm already sort of there after winding up in the war."
"Either way," Augustus said, "with the three of you onboard, I officially have way too many crewmen. At least GKND will take you off my hands."
"But the more friends we have, the better our odds at winning!" Yuzu beamed. "And now we only have two items left to find."
"Yep." The captain opened Gourmerry's menu. "We need a Main Dish and that word that's hard to spell."
"That would be the hors d'oeuvre." Tressa confirmed. "Speaking of which, Captain… what even is a 'Main Dish,' anyway?"
"That one may be the trickiest of all. It's supposed to be the very core of a meal. The main attraction of your menu. It could generally be anything, but it has to be very special to you. That is to say, special to Gourmerry. Perhaps even the greatest thing she's ever tasted."
"Gourme?" The Firstborn pointed at herself.
"So, a meal with strong value and importance." Yuzu said. "Greater than anything she's eaten. But where could we find something like that?"
"Well, we can worry about it later. For now, let's look for a good appetizer. We can't start a good meal without that."
"Shouldn't the appetizer have been the first thing you looked for?" Tressa asked.
"We just didn't have the appetite for it."
"Um…are we at GKND H.Q.?" Haylee asked.
"I dunno, you're the one driving, Haylee."
"There's something… different about it."
GKND H.Q. was a gigantic treehouse with blue leaves and a whitish-blue trunk, with several domed facilities built on its branches. However, there were large bacon banners hanging from the branches, several turkeys flying around the domes, and banana slugs slithering along the trunk. "That's not how I expected it to look." Kipo said. "Are they celebrating that festival you guys were talking about?"
"Looks like someone's making a Full Course Menu of their own." Augustus inferred.
"I'm not actually hungry…" Wolf shirked. (Play "Dashing Thru the Fire" from Rayman Origins!)
They flew the ship into the base's hangar, in which the shutter was coated with egg yolk. They docked near a pier-like boardwalk and stepped off. The floor was covered with sludge and Mexican music was being played by sentient bacons and tacos. "Who the heck did they hire to fill in for me?" Yuzu asked.
"August'n, O-Tama wishes to ride thine shoulders…" Tama cringed as her sandals were drenched by the sludge.
"Yeah, we'll just wait in here, thanks." Wolf said.
As the main trio crossed the boardwalk, a kid-size green slug with a flower collar slithered by and sang to the music. "Nobody here but us flowers… Nobody here but us bushes… If you doubt that we're plants, then shake up your pants, and taste… our shrubby tusheeees!" He shook his rear and slithered on his way.
"It's gonna take one heck of a glutton to clean all this up." Augustus readied his next lollipop. "Sorry to ruin your fast, Gourmerry."
"Let's just head up to the kitchen first." Yuzu suggested.
Menu 7: Splatato Slamwich
Recipe: Find out what the heck is going on.
Act 1: GKND Buffet
A farm of Taco Turtles lay between them and the entrance doors. These turtles would curl and roll vertically at the intruders, but Augustus used Fork to split them apart. The stairs to the entrance had Skittle Spiders dangling from spaghetti webs, swinging to and fro. Augustus could make them retract by throwing his Gobstopper. Past the entrance, they found a hallway crowded with giant snails, guzzling salt from large shakers. Their throats would catch fire as they blew flaming breath to block the path. The crew waited for the fire to die out before proceeding.
The floor sank into a river of sauce, requiring them to jump giant, bobbing pepper shakers. More snails were hidden in crevices, breathing fire over the tops of the shakers. The trio was cautious in avoiding them. From the last shaker, they jumped to cling some jelly attached to the left wall, cringing from the sticky feel. There were pig noses hung above the jelly, dropping globs of jam that would push them into the sauce. They climbed over and could land in a platform in the sauce.
"Why, hel~lo, everyone~" A white blob with leek hair and a cabbage mustache emerged from the sauce. There was also a pair of chestnuts with a mustached face between them. "I am Dr. Vichyssoise~ This is my brother, Dr. Nutsbob."
"Yes, how do you do~" Nutsbob greeted. They both had Italian accents.
"This is unsettling…" Yuzu said simply.
"How are you guys talking?" August asked. "This reminds me of Queen Sherry's power."
"We only have our mama and our papa for making us~" Vichyssoise replied. "We shall help you to find them. Come, get on Nutsbob." He turned to face upriver.
"Ho ho~" The chestnuts bounced on his brother's head. Augustus, Yuzu, and Tama looked weirdly before climbing atop Nutsbob.
Vichyssoise carried them up the river, but steered them toward hanging Skittles. August used his Gobstopper to make them recede. Up ahead, there were Super Minions on platforms: these round, yellow annoyances used blue capes to swoop down at the explorers. Tama used her staff to bat them into the sauce.
"Ah, I do enjoy having Vichyssoise as a steed." Nutsbob said.
"I prefer to be thought of as a colleague."
"Ah, steed, colleague, what is the difference~?"
"IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO MY MOTHER!!" The blob suddenly sprung up, propelling the crew onto some stairs. They quickly jumped a rolling object, which was a purple pine-cone with a chick's face attached. They hid in a crevice on the stairs as more Pine-Chicks rolled down. Tama decided to go up first and jump the chicks, but when a longer line of them was coming, she quickly made a Clone Stack. The clones were bowled over by the chicks, but she could propel herself over them from the top. She reached the top of the staircase and hit a switch to close the chicks' hatches.
Tama's friends caught up as they entered a passage guarded by a strange Rooster. She had a human face with glasses, wearing a jellybean bib. "Yuzu's here!" Julie Bean perked up. "Hi, Yuzu!"
"Oh, do you know me?"
"Hey, guess who's here! Jerome is here! He's goin' on a date with Nebula!"
"Um, they're brother and sister."
"D'aww, c'mon, Jerome, you can't date your-, g-get with the program." Julie shook her head.
"Yeah, somebody has to." August remarked.
"Th-They're gonna have puppies in your bedroom!"
"Bedroom?"
"Yeah, snake puppies!"
"Snake puppies?!"
"I-I-I don't do that! I don't put snakes in people's bed!" Julie insisted.
"Yeah, I know you don't—what the hell are we even doing?! Let's hurry and go!" The crew rushed past the Rooster quickly. ("Aww, he's scared of the Rooster." Julie said.)
They stepped out into a walkway with a glass wall to separate them from space. They had to travel up stairs with segments of flat floor between them. Minions were traveling back-and-forth on those segments, but when the crew walked near, the Minions stretched to tall sizes to prevent them from jumping over. Augustus could either throw Tama on top of them or just pull them down with his Licorope. There was a three-stack of tall Minions on the last segment, so the crew jumped backwards when the creatures fell over. Afterwards, they stepped over their backs and stepped up to the base's target-shooting area.
There were devices designed to control cannons outside the base and shoot practice targets. There were purple masses of blubber with big-mouthed faces manning the cannons, trying to shoot down the flying turkeys outside. There were two exits leading out of this area, one guarded by a Tubby Blub and another guarded by a turkey. Augustus decided to KO the Blubs, thus making the turkeys happy. The turkey guard decided to let them enter its route.
Entering the main base, the crew had to traverse up a river of donut batter. There were giant mixers spinning along the batter and threatened to mix them into it. As they carefully maneuvered around the mixers, they noticed a sentient sausage on a platform, talking to a sentient bun. "I was just thinkin', you and I could get together, and I could just… fit right in there?" The sausage spoke flirtingly, earning a giggle from the bun.
The path was blocked by horizontal mixers with platforms orbiting around them. The crew used these platforms to go over the mixers, but jumped to following ones before they were taken under. Bats made of batter flapped down from the ceiling, and Tama whacked them out of the air from her perch on August's shoulders. They landed on a safe platform on the left wall, but with a giant mixer blocking the path, they entered an alternate passage from this platform.
A river of salsa lay beneath them, so they had to stick their hands up through a ceiling of gelatin. They clambered along the upside-down pool of jelly, but Churro Worms were burrowing through the jelly, hoping to snack on them. The churros had rather cute, innocent eyes, but the trio climbed quickly to avoid having their hands nibbled. They clambered near a vent and managed to kick their legs into it to slip in, having to crawl backwards through it. There were globs of spinach stuck to the interior, and the spinach used mouths to spit on them. They were repulsed, but it didn't hinder their progress too badly. However, the floor of the vent became more mushy beneath their hands.
When they were able to stand up, they were apparently in some sort of spinach jungle. Chocolate apes rested on trees with their legs hung over. With lazy smiles, they chucked coconuts down at the crew, and those coconuts would spit exploding potatoes. The crew hurried through the jungle as coconuts rained down, nearing the edge of the path- "NYORO?" A huge, patterned red, amoeba-like creature erected in their path. It was a Neuron, with big wide eyes atop its head.
Augustus punched the Neuron to make it retract, allowing them to jump to the lower ground. There were multi-colored Neurons all around the jungle, either swaying side-to-side or squishing down. The trio hopped on an orange Neuron as it stretched them up onto a broccoli treetop. They had to jump onto a swaying blue Neuron, but it would swing them against a large, hanging spiky pear. Augustus would have to punch the Neuron, make it squish down to go under the pear, and it would stretch back up once beside the next platform.
Purple Neurons hung from the ceiling and swung about, the crew having to grab their hair follicles to swing to each one. From the last Neuron, they swung to land on a giant apple floating in the swamp. There were pancake mantas in the swamp, so it would be dangerous to swim in. When Augustus punched the apple, a large worm made of butter stretched out and formed a snaky bridge to the next apple.
As they trekked across, smaller worms made of berries emerged from the butter and crawled up their bodies, their big lips indicating a need to kiss. As Yuzu's mouth hung open in confusion, an Ickworm crawled into it. "EUH, GROSS!" She cringed at the disgusting taste and frantically shook the others off. Thankfully, Tama already had her mouth closed, and August was too tall for them to make it.
One of the Butter Worms stretched vertically, requiring them to climb its elongated form. Ickworms emerged above them and could easily crawl in their mouths, the group having to quickly swat them away. They reached the elevated apple, but there was nowhere else to go. The exit shaft was higher above, but no worm came out of this apple. However, looking down into the swamp, it seemed there was a red Neuron standing still. The trio locked hands and jumped down to smash the Neuron flat: like a spring, it shot them to the sky with the momentum they stored in it. They could fly up the shaft and grab onto a spinach vine.
This new corridor was covered in meaty material oozing with gravy. There were walking ice cubes with urchins inside them, trying to stomp and crunch the Pine-Chicks to pieces. Red blobs of liverwurst and headcheese were tearing open the Taco Turtles and eating their insides. The Marzipans decided to help these creatures by smashing their attackers. "Why are we even helping these guys? We'll have to get rid of all of them, won't we?" August questioned.
"One way or another." Yuzu shrugged. "But there's some kind of in-fighting going on."
They couldn't advance further up the path as a large potato with molding mushrooms guarded the exit. It dashed up to them, lay a flurry of rapid kicks on Augustus, and banished him backward. The Moldtato returned to its station, just under a ledge where a cannon was shooting Brusselballs. The Brusselballs traveled slowly, so Augustus could lift Tama to have her jump across the projectiles. Tama made it atop the cannon's ledge and summoned her clones to push it off. The cannon pinned the Moldtato down, allowing August and Yuzu to cross the passage and use it as a platform to rejoin Tama.
From here, they arrived at the base's mess hall. It had become a warzone as hamburger cakes were launched from cannons and exploding. Pies with tusks were ramming their tusks through pigs with fish bodies; Batter Men were eating the yolk off of Egg Frogs; Haggis Onions were stomping on Ickworms and eating them.
"No no no!" Nebula rushed into the room, shooting Starbursts at Minions splashing in the ketchup fountain. "No playing in the ketchup fountain! Also, who put ketchup in my fountain?!"
"Nebula, what happened up here?" Yuzu ran up to the Supreme Leader.
"Yuzu?" Nebula was surprised to see they were here. "Ugh, it's been a complete mess! Ever since you've been gone, our new 'chefs' have made a disaster of the kitchen, and now it's spreading to the whole base!"
"What new chefs?"
Bender burst out of the kitchen, stirring a bowl with a stiff weasel. "Apis, where's the vanilla shampoo I asked for?!"
"I'm coming!" Apis ran up with the bottle in hand. "It was stuck in a tub of oatmeal!"
"Alright, alright, that's it!" Nebula stomped up to them. "It's time for you to get out of the kitchen! And stop playing that music, I'm trying to talk!" she yelled to the band of bacon mariachis. (End song.)
"But we were just about to make our Corn Weasel Hot Spring." Bender replied sadly. "Everyone knows Corn Weasels taste better with vanilla shampoo, and human sweat."
"You've completely ruined the treehouse! Our communications are jammed with literal jam, the ships' engines are clogged with eggs, and more than half the operatives are sick from trying to eat all these… things! How in the heck did you bring all these foods to LIFE, anyway?"
"We don't know." Apis replied guiltily. "We were just using the ingredients that came every morning."
"And you know what, I say we trained these foodlums quite well." Bender proclaimed proudly. "They started doing the cooking for us, even when Apis got sleepy. Of course, they had me, Bender, to supervise them."
"I saw you passed out on the pudding cups every morning!" Apis argued.
"I don't care whose fault it is!" Nebula shouted. "If you like cooking so much, go down to the festival! I'd rather call someone else to clean up at this point."
"But this isn't just about the festival." Apis frowned, downtrodden. "I was hoping to make something good for Aeincha. She hasn't had any appetite ever since that incident last week, so I wanted to surprise her with a good recipe."
Yuzu gasped, seeing a Tusk Pie charging their direction. Yuzu kicked the pie down and stabbed it with a knife. "…" Feeling curious, she used her fork to pick a piece out of the pie and ate it. It certainly possessed a churning taste… but there was a peculiar ingredient. "Nightmare Toxin…"
"What?" Nebula spoke.
"I'm finding traces of Nightmare Toxin… and Star Bits…"
"The materials used to make Nightmares?"
"But we didn't find anything like those in the supplies." Apis said.
"Then it's possible they were already inside the ingredients." Yuzu deduced. "Where did you say you ordered them from?"
"We have some operatives collect them from shipping sectors on each planet." Nebula answered. "Ever since Gourmerry showed up, and even with these two, they've been working overtime."
"You don't suppose they would rush their routine security checks, do you?" Augustus cocked a brow.
Nebula looked away, worried by the possibility. "If that were the case, then I suppose some villains or someone could sneak harmful substances into our foods. But…"
"Nebula! We've got an emergency!" Jerome yelled as he rushed in. "A giant hamburger is approaching the base! The alarms and communications are still busted, so we can't call for help!"
"A giant… hamburger?!"
Going to the cafeteria balcony, a gargantuan, hamburger fortress was looming in on the treehouse. "Oh ho ho ho HO!" Gramma Stuffum laughed from the control room. "It all vent according to plan! We have successfully taken over the GKND treehouse, again! The Kids Next Door will not foil our plan a second time!"
"Too bad most of them are chowing down at the festival." The Lunch Lady ghost punched her fists together with enthusiasm. "They're about to miss this extra serving of DOOM!" Her hair flared like fire!
"The less brats ve have to deal vith, the better! Now, connect the Serving Trams!"
Three train-like tunnels stretched from the Ham Station and pierced the window to the cafeteria. The inside had a moving belt, like those found at a sushi restaurant. "Cheese Ninjas: GO!" declared Shogun Roquefort, a hefty samurai man made of cheese.
Cheese Ninjas, Meatmen, and Gramma Stuffum's creations charged down the Serving Trams, scattering to cause chaos throughout the base. Some came to attack the Marzipans, but Tama split into clones to attack the ninjas, Yuzu became Yuzunite to slice up the Meatmen, and Augustus used Gob-Spinner to slice up some Spinach Soldiers. "Haylee, this is Augustus!" he yelled into his communicator. "The base is under attack by the Brotherhood, and it's safe to say Gourmet Corp. is putting them up to this! I want you and the others to get in here and help fight them! I'll be going in their spaceship!"
"Okay, but shouldn't I attack their ship from ours?"
"Not yet; I wanna try and capture these guys. Maybe we can beat some info out of them!"
"BANANA BOO!" A Minion leapt above Augustus, attempting to bite his dark-blonde head, but a Pine-Chick was flung up to knock the Minion away. A turkey flapped down at Yuzu, but was shot down by a Blubber Beetle.
"But why are these foods attacking each other?" Yuzu questioned.
"Those are the ones me and Bender created!" Apis recognized. "They must be on our side!"
"Then we gotta create more!" Bender announced. "Let's get cookin', Apis!"
"Aye-aye, Captain Chef!" She eagerly followed him into the kitchen.
"Hey, wait just a-!" Nebula tried to call after them, but they had already shut the door.
"Yuzu, Tama, let's move!" Augustus yelled, discarding his lollipop. The girls nodded and followed their captain into one of the Serving Trams. (Play "House of Tricky Ninjas" from Origami King!)
Act 2: Ham Station
The first room of the ship seemed to resemble the inside of a feudal Japanese house, except the floor and walls were made of bread and the doors made of cheese. As they took the first steps in, Cheese Ninjas jumped out of walls and floorboards. They slashed butter knives (deadlier than they look), but August blocked the attacks and punched back. They opened a cheese door and entered a room with a burger cushion, toaster TV, and a closet. Ninjas sprung out of either hiding place, and when Yuzunite tried to slice the ninjas, they used Substitution Jutsu to switch with a random cheese wedge. They tried to attack Yuzu from behind, but Tama countered them, using Shadow Clones to punch the ninjas down, leaving August to KO them.
"O-Tama didst not expect to find shogun palace inside massive meat!"
"The Cheese Shogun must be involved in this." Augustus deduced.
"The Cheese Who?" Yuzunite asked.
"He's a Brotherhood villain. You never heard of him?"
"I dunno, maybe the other me has. She probably doesn't think of him much."
"Yeah, I kinda forgot him until just now."
There was a secret door in the walls that they could go through, but a ninja ambushed from the ceiling and took Tama hostage. However, it was merely a clone as the real Tama knocked him over with her staff and bashed his head. They proceeded into a large lounge composed of a posh meat interior. Cooked turkeys with elephant trunks sucked in furniture and spat it at the trio, Augustus punching the projectiles away. He tossed his Gobstopper to clog a trunk, then ran to grab it and swing the turkey into its brethren.
The crew bounced on a hamburger cushion to reach a higher part of the lounge. There were billiards tables lined up, but they used meatballs and were being played by ghosts. The Billiard Boos shot the meatballs at the kids with cannon speed, Yuzu using her frying pan to hit them back and KO the Boos. However, the third Boo shot the white ball at his meatballs and caused them to fly and ricochet around the room. The Marzipans would have to jump across chandeliers to reach the room's exit, but the meatballs would try to home in and knock them off. Tama tried to bat them away, but she was unfortunately knocked down to the lower floor. August and Yuzu waited for her to catch up, the three making the journey across and entering the next room.
This room was rather dark, so the crew were alert for whatever lurked within. There were pits on either side of the ham floor, with the ridges being rather erratic. Tama kept her eyes down to watch for these ridges while the others watched out for other monsters. "?!" A hand-shaped shadow seemed to be growing on the floor. "Watcheth out!!" Tama alerted them to jump apart before a large, clawed hand of meat could grab hem. Yuzunite carved the Wallmaster into pieces.
"Nice save, Tama!" Augustus patted her head in praise, sparking a blush on the child. As they progressed, certain tiles on the floor threatened to cave in, so Yuzu switched back to her day self to sense which hams were rotten. They found the door to the next room. There was a piano in the center, made of sandwich, and a Cheese Ninja was performing on it. "AAAH!" the ninja cried as the Pianwich suddenly munched him in nacho teeth, drooling with dip.
"That must've been a wrong note." Yuzu said. "I wonder if I could do it."
"Since when are you a musician?" August asked.
"I'm not, but it's still food. I think we have to play it to progress, anyway." Yuzu calmly sat on the piano's seat. She used her Haki to listen to the sandwich's voice…
Finding herself in a vision of giant notes traveling on an intangible river, a ball was bouncing across certain notes. Yuzu jumped over those notes, having to do so with the ball's rhythm and not wait too long. It became tricky when certain rows of notes shifted up or down, but the chef was successful in playing the right keys. As a result, the next door opened.
To their disgust, this next room was flooded by a swamp of Frog Gut Soup. Naturally, Augustus carried Tama on his shoulders as they waded through the soup. Blobs crept up in the soup, rising high as they tried to bite the humans in gaping, ghostly mouths. Yuzu shot Soul Arrows into their mouths to banish the ghosts. There was a shaft with platforms above the swamp, but no way to get up there. But just as Yuzu was about to shoot another blob-
"Hel~lo, friends!" A familiar, leek-haired white blob emerged.
"Dr. Vichyssoise?" Augustus questioned. "What are you doing here?"
"I am being here to do something about whoever is driving this giant burger. It's making a mess of Mama and Papa's kitchen."
"Wait, you must mean Bender and Apis." Yuzu realized. "So, you were one of their creations."
"Great, then can you help us get up there?" August requested bluntly.
"Yes, of course, of course~" Vichyssoise submerged under the ooze. "I just need to squeeze right under-" And he sprouted up to send them onto the first platform. As they jumped their way up other platforms, bamboo straws rose high from the swamp and fired frog heads at them. From the last platform, they had to jump on one of the bamboos and leap to a hatch on the ceiling. Yuzu used the Compowder to switch them into cleaner clothes.
The following corridor took place across a sushi belt, with swamp pits on either side. "I can't believe there are still KND operatives who haven't been fattened up, yet!" The Lunch Ghost hovered near the end of the belt, her yellow hair fiery. "You haven't been eating your MEAT, have you?!"
"We had meat last night, I'll have you know!" Augustus argued. "It was-"
"COUGH." Yuzu interrupted him.
"Well, get ready to choke on my Sushi of Doom!" The ghost used her Zanpakutō to make a bunch of sushi jump in and out over the belt. Augustus dashed across the belt as it tried to carry him the opposite way, having to duck the sushi and block Lunch Lady's spirit balls. He stayed stable even as some sushis hit his head, but once he made it to the ghost, she phased under the floor. August jumped onto the stable floor, trying to anticipate where she would appear. "Don't you kids want a serving?!" He gasped, realizing she was flying toward Yuzu and Tama.
Fortunately, a green-clothed woman with a skull mask flew through the walls with a powerful kick. She struck Lunch Lady with enough force to send her through 10 rooms throughout the base, leaving no damage with her ghostly figure. "What happened?" Yuzu asked, trying to make out the spirit's image.
"It's Nel!" Augustus cheered. "Where'd you come from??"
"Nel feel spooky ghosties trying to hurt Augsus! Augsus and non-ripe girls leave ghost to Nel!"
"YOUNG LADY!" The Lunch Ghost returned in a rage. "Is this how you treat your elders?!"
"Nel is over 100 million years older than you!" the cavewoman retorted as she engaged the ghost with kicks. Yuzu and Tama caught up with Augustus and hurried to the next room.
This room was a large sand pit, except made of pepper. Large dandelions decorated the corners of the room, and the hindquarters of eight Kittentias were sticking out of the sand. Yuzu and Tama beamed, glad to see the cute monochrome kitten again, but it seemed they had to choose the right one. Augustus pulled one's tail, but it poofed into a Cheese Ninja and threw shurikens. August survived the cuts and threw his Gobstopper, but it used Substitution and attacked from above. August dodged and punched him to the sand before landing the KO.
They tried two more Kittentias, but they were all red herrings. It was then Yuzu started thinking outside the box… so, she found a secret bread door and opened it to a hidden room. There was a Kittentia stuck in the sand, so Yuzu happily pulled it out. (Play "Trololo" by Eduard Khil!)
The Kittentia had the face of a human with a big, smiling mouth. It began to march in place and sing a jovial song. "Oyyyyyy ya ya yaaaa… Ya ya yaaaaa, yaaaaa, yaa yaaa…"
Yuzu stared at the kitten with disbelief. Augustus shared her expression. Tama cocked a brow in confusion. To exit the sand room, they had to pull a rope hanging from the ceiling, causing a large bucket to rise and lift them upward. They could jump into the door to a room that resembled a wet salami cave… The singing Kittentia was following them to liven things up with its vocals.
Meatmen dripped from the salami stalactites, attempting to envelop the humans in their mass. Augustus and Yuzu combined their knife techniques to slice them into smaller pieces, with Tama to squish them afterward. However, it seemed they would need the Meatmen's help to reach the next passage. Tama picked out small bits of dango to feed the smaller Meatmen, so once enough of them fell in love with her, she commanded them to merge into a single, large mass, allowing the group to climb it to the doorway.
They entered a tall, wide chamber with a windy updraft. The singing Kittentia alerted the gliding Cheese Ninjas to their arrival. The ninjas threw kunai wedges down as Tama opened her glider and flew up the shaft. She evaded the kunai and worked to glide-kick all the ninjas into submission. The kunoichi had to step against four switches around the wall to make cheese platforms rise up. August and Yuzu platformed up the rotating wedges, being mindful of their sliced gaps. Once at the exit door's platform, Tama rejoined them with a stylish flip landing.
A little kitty elevator opened as the singing Kittentia stepped on. It turned to them with a salute, singing along as it was lifted away. (End song.)
The trio crossed a hallway with vases made from basses. They were led to a large chamber that resembled a Japanese throne room, where Shogun Roquefort rested. Above him was a control station where Gramma Stuffum overlooked them. "It's Gramma Stuffum!" Yuzu recognized. "I had a feeling she was behind this."
"Vell, if it isn't Augustus!" Stuffum announced. "The skinny boy that has been being such a nuisance to Gourmet Corp.."
"The GKND is under our command now!" Roquefort stated. "Once we crush you, we will serve it to them as part of the Ultimate Full Course!"
"Didn't you chumps already try to take over GKND?" Yuzu questioned. "And this time, they aren't even brainwashed!"
"But it sounds like you've been sneaking your ingredients into GKND's supplies for the past several days." Augustus accused. "Was this part of Gourmet Corp.'s plan all along?"
"Vell, they expected some form of intervention on the KND's part." Stuffum replied. "But with many of zem at ze festival, this was the perfect time for a sneak attack! But vhat I don't understand is vhy my precious foodlums are fighting each other!" She turned to the monitors in a fury, watching the Spinach Soldiers battle a band of hotdogs and buns, and Ickworms gouging out the eyes of Living Liver.
"I'll tell you why!" Yuzu declared. "Because GKND had some amazing chefs to fill in for me!"
"It's not possible! No matter vhat those chefs cooked, the foods vere already filled vith Gramma's Nightmare Toxin! They should listen to ME!"
"Hah!" Augustus laughed. "Maybe their cooking was so bad that it turned your own minions against you!"
"Don't say something so mean!" Yuzu shouted. "A wise chef once said, 'Anyone can cook!' Apis and Bender may not be experts, but I can tell! They poured real heart and soul into their meals!"
"Probably literally."
"Ho ho ho!" Stuffum chortled. "Then how about we feed YOUR hearts and souls to a meal of our own?! Slamwich! Butcher! Get up here!"
A gigantic sandwich demon burst out of the floor, oozing a waterfall of cheese. Its eyes, arms, and legs were made with various foods, possessing sausage tentacles, bacon gauntlets, and a heart made of cheese. "What's the matter, Stuffum?" asked the Butcher, a chubby man in white butcher's attire who was lodged between the Slamwich's eyes. "I was all ready to attack the G-Kandy's base!"
"Who's this guy?" Yuzu questioned.
"Wait a minute… Uncle Butch?!" Augustus exclaimed.
"Hm?" The Butcher looked to the captain with surprise. "Hey, it's Augustus! Long time, no see, little man! What brings you here?" he asked jovially.
"I could ask you the same thing!"
"Captain, is he your uncle?"
"Well, kind of… He's actually one of the Big Mom Pirates. I haven't seen him at all during the war."
"Yeah," Butcher scratched his head, "the thing is, things weren't workin' out with the Big Moms, so I might've… betrayed them. And now I'm with the Brotherhood! And we're about to attack the Kandy's fort rest!"
"He means the KND's fortress." Roquefort corrected.
"Butcher, Augustus is our enemy! Take Slamwich and crush zem!" Stuffum ordered.
"You got it, Gramma! Sorry, kiddo." In a swift motion, Butcher thrusted his left fist, Slamwich doing the same as Augustus intercepted with a Haki fist. A Ham Hammer emerged from Slamwich's hand to smash Augustus, and when Yuzu and Tama split up around the Slamwich, its sausage tentacles stretched to grab them. Yuzu fished for her knife to slice herself free, switching to Yuzunite to swiftly slash the incoming tentacles.
Augustus shoved the hammer off and dealt a flurry of Fork attacks to puncture the Slamwich's fist. Despite chopping it up, Butcher used his power to reform the fist around Augustus, trapping the captain as Slamwich slammed him against the floor. Augustus punched the hand off and broke free, but gasped as Shogun Roquefort lunged at him with a sword drawn. August blocked it with a Haki arm and sent Roquefort back with a kick, but the shogun returned for rapid swings.
"The Slamwich's heart is made from Sweetopia's Cheese Moon." Roquefort said. "Combined with Butcher's Meat-Meat power, it is an unstoppable force!"
"And I bet we can make it more powerfuller!" Butcher said, focusing on Yuzu and Tama (who had escaped the other tentacle). "If Slamwich eats that Firstborn, it'll be the strongest Slamwich ever!"
"Gourmerry?!" She pointed at herself in panicked.
"Gouda 'dea!" Roquefort replied. "Ninjas, seize the Firstborn!"
Cheese Ninjas dropped from the ceiling, surrounding Tama and lashing ropes to try and catch Merry. Tama swiftly evaded and swung her staff at a ninja's legs to knock him over. She tried to run from them, forming a hand signal, but a kunai wedge flew and stabbed her leg. "TAMA!" Yuzu yelled.
The young ninja poofed and became a bass vase. "HWAH!" She leapt from the side and punched the ninja.
"Whoa, she can use Substitution?!" Yuzunite beamed.
"Nice move!" August praised. "AGH!" The captain was grabbed in both the Slamwich's hands.
"It will be the last you ever witness!" Roquefort declared, raising his sword to lop Augustus's head off. "OOF!" A mushy white substance blasted the shogun in the head and knocked him away.
"Vhat?!" Stuffum shouted, looking to the room's entrance. "Vhat is happening now-"
The wall blew open, resulting in a cloud of smoke that reeked of cheese and bread. Through the cloud, a roundish, blobbish shape came waddling through. There were two familiar shapes on top of the mass. "Presenting the second-greatest creation to ever befall the universe… after me, Bender!"
"Co-produced by Iron Chef Bender and Mustard Chef Apis! It's…"
"THE SMILING SPLATATO!" The two cooks were riding a giant mass of mashed potato, almost resembling a cloud with a cute, smiling face. It had frying pans for shoes and oven mitt boxing gloves.
"Vhat in the vorld is that?!" Stuffum exclaimed.
"Better than anything you ever cooked!" August retorted.
"We'll see about dat!" Butcher stretched the right fist to punch the Splatato. It became lodged within the mash as the Splatato spun that segment rapidly. "Waaaah-whoooooaa!" Butcher and Slamwich spun like a horizontal tornado before Splatato slammed them against the floor.
Augustus was flung away from Slamwich's other hand, helping himself up. "I think the odds are pretty even now!"
"No way am I gonna lose to some ama-tumors!" Butcher stated, the Slamwich bellowing a roar as it returned to all fours. "Slamwich, let's eat 'em up!" (Play "Mafia Boss Theme" from Hat in Time!)
Boss fight: Slamwich
Butcher stretched the sausage tentacles to impale the Splatato. However, fishbones stretched out of the mash to slice the sausages, followed by stabbing Slamwich's face. "Wait, what ingredients did you use?!" August questioned.
"We scrambled up all the leftovers!" Bender answered. "And we even found some ancient ones from the old GKND days." Splatato thrusted punches against Butcher, the man hiding inside the Slamwich as it exchanged fists back. Slamwich leapt overhead, but Splatato rolled aside before the smash-down. Slamwich leapt again, then once more, but Splatato dropped a lump of gravy to get Slamwich stuck to the ground. With that, Splatato could leap above and Ground Pound the sandwich's back, spurting out a ton of cheese. Slamwich recovered and pulled coconut bowling balls from its mouth, rolling them as the spikes of urchins would jut out of them. Splatato was punctured by some of the spikes as it tried to roll further away.
Splatato grew a pair of crane legs and could leap, using its pan shoes to bounce against the spikes and toward Slamwich. When Splatato was right above the monster, Slamwich leapt and grabbed it, flying high before curving downward. It was about to slam Splatato against the spikes, but Splatato suddenly split itself like a doughnut and caused the spikes to hit Slamwich instead. Splatato reformed on one side of the spikes and banged fists against Slamwich's back to force the spikes in further, but the coconut would break apart as Slamwich retreated.
Butcher materialized twin giant Ham-mers atop Slamwich, stomping toward Splatato as the hammers slammed in quick succession. Two of the bumps on Splatato's head inflated to serve as shields, but the Ham-mers were steadily squishing it down regardless. Splatato was channeling something through its "throat," soon to spit a watermelon out and bash the exposed Butcher's head. This ceased the hammering, causing Slamwich to panic as Splatato waddled over. It spat cheese bullets, but Splatato blocked with its mitts before stretching punches against Slamwich. The combo ended with grabbing Slamwich on either end, lifting, and slamming it on the floor.
Butcher recovered and conjured meat shields over Slamwich's front. Slamwich spat more cheese at Splatato as the mash rolled sideways in evasion. Slamwich stopped to catch its breath after spitting too much. A hot sauce bottle-cannon poked out of Splatato and fired into its panting mouth. Slamwich cried and ran around with its throat on fire, exposing its unarmored back. Splatato rolled up and knocked Slamwich on its front, followed by a Ground Pound to spurt out more cheese.
The Butcher was forced out of Slamwich as well. Apis and Bender leapt into Splatato's mouth as their creation fired them over the Slamwich, crashing onto Butcher's back. They began to battle the meat villain, but Slamwich was unable to aid him before Splatato grabbed it in stretched arms. Splatato hauled it back and overhead before slamming down, but Slamwich was quick to recover. The sandwich grit its nacho teeth in rage, but Splatato's expression remained sweet and smiley. Slamwich pulled out two coconut-urchins, holding them with their spikes extracted. It charged for the Splatato, stretching its arms to slam the urchins against either side.
The Splatato whipped out its fishbones to slice the hands off, and just as the Slamwich made it over, Splatato stretched open like a doughnut and caught the sandwich in its center. It compressed around the Slamwich, but started stretching and compressing over and over as though it were chewing.
"NO! Vhat is it doing to our Slamwich?!" Stuffum cried, clashing her soup ladle against Yuzu's.
"It's eating it, duh! At least someone likes your cooking!"
"How dare you sully our marvelous creation!" Roquefort shouted, his helmet having been knocked off by Augustus. The cheese man was vehemently slashing his blade against August's Haki arms, but despite the captain's defense, he was off guard when Roquefort suddenly sprayed cheese from the hilt. The cheese blotted Augustus's glasses as Roquefort kicked him off his feet. The villain brought up his sword to deal a chop, but Tama jumped in to take the blow.
The Substitution poofed into one of the coconut-urchins, which the sword became stuck in. Tama appeared behind, ran up and onto Roquefort's back, and bashed the shogun with a bass vase. The vase shattered as Roquefort fell unconscious.
Augustus tipped up his cheese-covered shades. From his position on the ground, he viewed up at Tama's proud form, a determined glare on the child's face. "O-Tama is shamed for letting herself be captured. I shalt redeem my honor, August'n!"
"Hehehe!" August snickered. The little ninja suddenly looked much braver and stronger. Heck, she just risked a fatal blow for his sake! Augustus sat up to his knees to get level with her. "I'm glad I picked you, Tama!" He ruffled the kid's hair in gratitude.
"Gourmerry!" She could feel Tama's strong joy from her back.
After enough contractions, the Slamwich had become completely absorbed inside the Splatato. The innocent mass of potato stood in place, its sweet smile unchanging. "No… my precious Slamwich. Ah!" Stuffum was conked in the head by Yuzu's frying pan. Just as well, Bender had Butcher wrapped in his arms, leaving Apis to jump on his head until the villain was down. (End song.)
"Phew! This has been quite the visit!" Augustus sighed, wiping his glasses off. "We should be able to handle any stragglers. I guess this means the GKND owes me another favor~"
Yuzu switched back to her day self. "I guess the only thing left to do is… clean everything up. Unfortunately, only Gourmerry's stomach is capable of handling this much food."
"Then…" Tama looked to the Splatato, "shalt we begin?"
"Noooo!" Bender ran to the creation's side. "You can't eat our precious baby!"
"But Bender, we have no choice." Apis approached him with a regretful expression. "Food is meant to be eaten… just like in that episode of Spongebob. If we get too attached to it and keep it around, it'll just grow rotten."
Bender sniffled. "Why is culinary such a cruel form of art?! Huuuuuff…good-bye, sweet prince." He patted the smiling mash potato. "I'll always remember you… but I'll never remember your recipe. There were just so many ingredients! Waaaaaaah!"
"I… could probably help with that." Yuzu said. "That said… is this thing even safe to eat?"
"Have a bite, Gourmerry." August said. "You can't die, so… safety first."
"Gour…" The Firstborn climbed out of Tama's back and walked up to the enormous potato fluff. She stuck a little hand in, pulled out a tiny cluster of the recipe, and ate it. ". . . ! ! ! GOOOOOOOUUUUUUUURR!" It was as if her very spirit was on fire!
"Gourmerry?!" Yuzu exclaimed.
"Gour! Gour! Gour! GOOOOUUUUR!" She quickly ate another piece.
"Is it really that…" Yuzu grabbed her fork and picked off a piece of her own. She let the mash settle on her tongue for a bit… "WHOA!!! What the heck is this TASTE?!"
Augustus took a bite, as did Tama and Apis. "HOOOOOOH!" they all screamed.
"Its taste… there's something so unusual about it!" August said. "It doesn't taste good… or bad… but, still I…I just wanna try MORE!"
"There's so many ingredients packed into this one mass," Yuzu began expressively, "that it's too hard to focus on one! I feel such an urge to just find something to eat and focus on it!"
"Merrrrry! Merrrrry! Meeeerryyyyy!" She shook her arms up at Augustus.
"I read you loud and clear, Gourmerry! Unlike this potato, which I can barely read at all! Between its own cluster of ingredients, along with those that made the Slamwich… this is the ultimate appetizer! Never have I been so excited for a clean, focused meal!"
Gracefully drawing out the menu and his pen, Augustus wrote the words "Splatato Slamwich" right in the Hors d'oeuvre section. With seven items on the menu, only the Main dish remained.
GKND H.Q.
Nel had successfully beaten the Lunch Lady as the GKND trapped her in a T.H.E.R.M.O.S.. Butcher, Stuffum, Roquefort, and the ninjas were cuffed and could only watch as the Marzipan Pirates ate their share of the Splatato. "I can't believe how good this is!" Kipo exclaimed.
"Mmm, not bad!" Wolf said through chews.
"And to think the Cooking Fest has all kinds of stuff like this!" Benson exclaimed.
"Suika has a tiny mouth and belly!" Suika cheered. "But Suika still feels hungry!"
"Just one bite of this should fill me right up." Kohaku said. "And yet, it just makes me hungrier!"
"Are you sure that it's healthy then?" Nebula asked.
"As weird as it sounds and tastes, it is generally good eating." Yuzu answered. "But we might wanna be ready to use the bathrooms."
"Yeah, duly noted." Tressa already felt an odd feeling in her stomach.
"Yep, I'm definitely gonna blow up." Haylee said. "But still… we already found an hors d'oeuvre, huh? If this even counts as one…"
"So, the question is where do we start looking for a Main dish?" Yuzu followed.
"Well, that aside…" Augustus stood and turned to the villains, "we're still not done." The young man approached Gramma Stuffum, balling his fist at her tubby chin. "I don't really like to hurt a lady, but you'd better not mince words with me. So, I'll be direct: who's the Boss of Gourmet Corp.?"
Nebula gasped. "That's why you wanted to capture them?"
"Ve don't know." Stuffum answered. "Gourmet Corp. never told us anything about ze Boss's identity. They never even told us vhere their base is located."
"Then how did you Brotherhooders end up getting recruited?"
"We were approached by their vice-leader, Lord Licorice."
"L…Lord Licorice?"
"But I thought he worked for the World Government!" Stewie said.
"I guess he needed someplace to go after they went kerploot. I didn't think he would get involved with you cronies. But I also wanna know if Gourmet Corp. is planning to attack the festival."
"If you have to ask, then you should already know, skinny boy!" Stuffum returned. "Und there may be a chance ze Boss himself vill appear at ze festival!"
"There are tons of strong operatives at the festival." Nebula stated. "The Boss wouldn't show himself that conveniently."
"Who knows what goes on in his mind?" Roquefort said with a shrug. "Perhaps you should find him and ask."
"And what does that mean?" August cocked a brow.
"Before we came here today, Lord Licorice said he was leaving to meet the Boss. Ever since the festival began, he has been away, hunting in the expanse of New Galaxia."
"The Boss is in New Galaxia?"
"Who knows? But since we're about to be detained, anyway, we might as well see how this plays out."
"New Galag…hmm…" Augustus tapped his chin in thought. "Well, I suppose that's one place to hunt for a good meal."
"We've still got quite a journey ahead of us." Yuzu said as she brought plates of potato to the villains. "So, would you guys like a bite?"
"What're you tryin' to pull, kid?" Butcher inquired.
"Everyone deserves to eat, even villains. Especially since you had a hand in making this dish."
"Huh…that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me." With a smile, Butcher took a bite of his share.
"Hurrr…such dishonor." Roquefort sighed, partaking in the meal as well.
Somewhere in New Galaxia (Play "King Crimson Theme" from Golden Wind.)
Mountains of bones lay across the valley of fearsome beasts. A lone man crossed this valley of the dead, his toned frame shadowed in the night. The faintest light glinted off his sleek gray skin, with a hint of orange on his horns. He gazed into the gaping maw of a cliffside that extended for miles.
Having a moment for himself, the man closed his eyes and sniffed the air. There used to be so many scents flavoring the air… but now only those of the dead remained. But the scents that were there on that island still lingered in his nose. He pictured the sources of the scents in his mind: Sheila Frantic, the powerful young pirate Faunus… Pyra, the red-haired Aegis Xenoblade… the Mushroomian Royal Family, like sweet little Maria… a couple of gem-haired women that smelled like Phoenixes… a larval Miran Titan with a skull head… so many scents from so many people… and so many recipes clouding the island…
"Yes… this is the year… the year when Cooking Fest… is its most ripe. For eons, the universe has grown and grown… becoming fresh and more fragrant… and now it is ripe."
The man crossed the valley to the entrance of Maw Mountain. Situated far and high in the throat was a towering altar. The man made the journey up to the altar. "I will become full soon… full enough to Ascend… and then… my appetite will reach its climax. My menu… will be completed."
The ominous eyes of a monster loomed in the darkness beyond the altar. A titanic creature with the head of a whale emerged to dine on the tiny prey. "Forkkind."
The man held a silver fork the length of his body, with seven teeth, and at the base of its handle was a sphere resembling a blue planet with white clouds. He tossed the fork straight up into the center of the whale's forehead… and the beast collapsed and died.
The man climbed up to reclaim his fork real quick before going back to the stairs. He stepped up the altar calmly… and there lay a bed. The symbol on the dark-magenta bed resembled Gourmet Corp.'s logo, with a silhouetted monster head, a curved pitchfork, and curved knife. The man lay on the bed to rest his hungry bones. "There are so many flavors in this universe… and no matter what they are… I love them all…"
He decided to snack on the Mountain Whale in the midst of his rest.