"Transmutation requires a few things to pull off effectively. The first is the knowledge of what your body, and that what you are trying to mimic." I glanced over at the steward's desk. He lacked the knowledge that Councilman Jorgonzilrye is trying to instill in me and yet was considered well versed in Transmutation. "Yes, the steward may lack the education that you are receiving, but he does however know much about his body, and his intuition of other's is rather something to be envied. That is a topic for another time. The other things that are required are of course a strong pull of magic, and of course mass to be reshaped. This is why we are trying to feed you and build up mass. Even fat on a body increases the mass of the person and some societies will eat anything and everything to gain weight to give them more mass to transmute. With more mass a person has, they can change more without risking a higher chance to fall into madness." Nodding, I confirmed I was following along. "I will not say this is wrong, but this comes with some negatives. One of those is a person's health. So, a way that we do things is we try to build up muscle mass but also some fat. Not to the degree the others, but enough to aid us in our travels when we go hungry as well as for reshaping."
Since starting, I gained a good amount of weight, I had not noticed too much fat on me. My metabolism has always been really good, but the workouts we are doing is destroying my muscles for repairs. I was nearly a fifth again larger than when I came into the old man's care. "So far this is easy to follow."
"In the broad sense, yes. The finer nuances will be harder to grasp. You now have a basic understanding of what a typical person has going on in their body. How does this correlate with how your individual body is composed?"
"Well, everyone's body is different. Everyone has differently sized hearts for one." He nodded me to continue allowing me to put the pieces together. "With this example a person's heart is perfectly matched for their bodies need. It pumps the blood throughout the body as efficiently as possible. If I make a mistake and transmute myself back to my original state, not only can the efficiency decrease, but…" It dawned on me, getting back to one's original state is, it is impossible. There is no way to get every detail correct. That means the more of you change, the more of your body is altered, forever. This also means… I can feel my eyes going wide "So if we change a portion of our bodies back to the original state, we are then actually using some of our max at all times before reaching madness." I waited for him to say something, he had not. Taking that for what it was, to continue. "So, say I changed my leg at one point, then the other leg and changed them back to their original state. I go to change my arm and find out that I can only make changes to a lesser degree then I had earlier because I am already changed." It clicked, "Thats why one cannot be immortal. Too much change and they become one of the Twisted. Well, they can be immortal I would think, but just not in control of themselves. This is effectively dying in many regards."
"Correct, now many will only designate certain areas to be changed. This practice is well used in many regions. However-"
"We can't use this method. We work alone, and even if we work with others, we need to be versatile. Especially me with my size."
"Exactly." He seemed proud of himself. I did not want to ruin it, so this time I waited for him to speak instead of saying the next no brain remark that would come to my head. "Now how do we find out say the size of our organs or even the exact placement they are arranged in our bodies?"
I thought and thought. Only solution was "We cut ourselves, and then transmute afterword's to heal the wound." It was the only thing I can think of.
"Correct."
"Really?" I was shocked, it was a shot in the dark. I felt proud but was short lived.
"No! Girl, how would one even begin? Not only can you damage something you are trying to find out more about, but you can bleed out before even figuring out how to mend them self." I deflated; it was a stupid proposition now that I think about it. "Why do we have you meditating?" I don't know, figured to calm me down or something. I shrugged. With a sigh he continued, "Once you are able to clear your mind, using the magic you can feel around your innards. This gives you another sense, almost as if you can see, feel, and in some instances taste. There are other aspects that words cannot convey, but you will know when you do it."
"If it requires magic, would we not be able to do it in here?" I gestured to our surroundings.
"Yes, this is mostly correct. However, this place is not perfect, there are areas that are weaker in magic than outside the boundaries, but still there is magic to draw from. To transmute would be impossible here still, but to do what we speak of is. That is why this place was built here, there are a few others about. All being used by the Waywards and Border Guard." I remember that the Waywards are actually not part of the Border Guard, well they are and are not. Wayward actually have more power than a councilman, well mostly. Outside the village they have all the power, while the council must come to a decision together. Due to this Waywards were outside the control of the Border Guard, and in control of them only in times of great dire. Otherwise, they have to seek the leadership for aid. Saying that a Wayward was part of the Guard was a means to hide the position from the residents of the village. This seemed rather convoluted and unnecessary, but it was not my decision.
"So, I can feel out my body and once I have a good idea the layout of my body, only then I should attempt a shift?"
"Yes, doing it before may severely limit your potential. Doing it beforehand means you are using a percentage of your max no matter what you do. So, if you change your leg, then make it go to a human state again. If you have the ability to only use one appendage for changing, then you are done. No more or you lose yourself. Not every person's leg is the same, and not reforming it back to your leg means you are always at your limit. In this science, mostly correct is the best we can do."
"This is why children don't live long then, they change and do not know their original form yet. So, they can't ever revert back correctly and end up crossing their threshold." The old man nodded. "I do have one question, why determines one's threshold? You keep talking about size but won't give out actual numbers."
"Threshold is determined by two things, we talked about understanding ourselves on a physical level, correct?" I nodded in return. "Well, you also have to visualize yourself as a person. How you act, who you are, how you treat others. Self-actualization, being able to see and realize your potential. You must have a clear image of this in your head at all times. Being untruthful to yourself means a lowered threshold. So, let's say you are a coward but don't believe it. This may be a large portion of who you are, and you not accepting it means you just lost 20 percent of your body mass that you can use. Now this is all hypothetical and not something I am saying about you that is true. The way the Border Guard runs things they use a system of percentages. 9% is for each arm and leg, 36% for the body, and 9% for the head."
I ran the math in my head, that was only 99 percent. "Where is the last 1 percent?"
"Genitals." I must have made a look because he laughed. "There are societies that will take their genitals and use it for their changes. Others will emphasize certain aspects of themselves. Lastly others will change their sex all together." My eyes widened. "Yes, gender can easily be changed if so desired."
"That is unnatural." I felt weird, almost dirty thinking about it. I tried to remind myself that there is a cultural barrier between myself, and well the rest of the world. Still though…
"To you maybe, but you lived in a world where you had the power to be what and who you wanted. Outside everyone grew up with this power. They had the ability to look and feel whatever they wanted. Not saying that I did it, nor want to, but you must understand that their customs are different from ours. As a Waward, you have to accept them for who they are. As a person that is your own provocative. Now remember Ans?" I nodded. "She made, well modifications to herself. This limits what she can change because she is not in her true form. This also skews her understanding of herself making it harder for her to shift than otherwise. Granted, she has a lot more skill than many of the Guard. This ultimately though made her not a valid choice to be a Wayward and she was denied."
Now it made sense why I had a feeling of animosity from her. I am no name with no training is getting something she worked for. It also made sense that her beauty was, well impossible to match. "So, I shouldn't do this?"
"I would ill advise it. After training and becoming a Wayward, I have no control of what you do. Only reason I don't advice it, is because it hampers your abilities and makes your job harder. Now, if you do it for only certain times for political reasons or for pleasurable evenings, we'll have fun. Walking around like she does in the boundary and out, well you get it. Now let us move on."