Dina stared motionlessly at her reflection, her hands aimlessly caressing her face in a daze.
She could tell she hadn't been found out; instead, the sorcerers were, as usual, simply playing mind games, so as long as she composed herself well, she'd also succeed in this trial.
However, looking at herself she grimaced, could she?
“So you can tell,” a cool voice echoed to her.
Her vacant eyes sharpened as her vision mirrored into her reflection, which remained the same.
Dina silently clenched her knuckles while muttering, “Come out.”
“What are you talking about? I am right here,” the voice replied goadingly.
Dina's pupils constricted as her breath sharpened. Taking a sharp breath she requested once more, “COME. OUT.”
“... No?”
Dina felt something in her mind erupt, erasing her calmness and causing her mood to warp into something more volatile.
Heaving, her request morphed into an enraged demand as she screeched in an uncanny tone.
“I said come out! Come out now! Stop using my reflection! Stop copying my mannerisms! STOP PRETENDING TO BE ME! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!”
Her cries escalated as she crashed to her knees. Looking up at the mirror, her reflection remained as it was, perfectly mirroring her actions as a mirror would, making her sanity snap.
“AHHH!!! AHHH!!! You're not me! You're not me! YOU'RE NOT ME!”
“But I am?” the voice said with a sense of schadenfreude.
Click.
Dina lost her mind. Her jarring screams echoed through the space as tears ran down her face.
Her cries echoed like the broken screeches of a siren, her voice distorted with a mix of pain, rage, and misery.
Her mind swelled with horrible thoughts as old trauma was ripped into her mercilessly. She could feel a hand grasp the stitches of her healing injuries and ruthlessly shred them to pieces.
The pain was agonizing. It was too much. It was too much. It was just too much!!
Sucking in a cold breath, she bashed her head to the floor, a sharp pain tearing through her yet incapable of numbing her misery. She did it again and again and again and again….
Eyes rolled back. Blackout.
***
“Ugh… Ugh…” Dina gasped incoherently as her perception flickered inconsistently.
Where was she?
“How are you?” a calming voice asked.
Her blurry vision cleared up to reveal a faraway Zero, gracefully seated before her while staring at her with a cool, indifferent gaze.
The lack of empathy in his questioning made it seem like an interrogation rather than one asked out of genuine concern. And Dina could tell that it was the former.
“.... Not fine,” she replied.
“Do you want to talk about it? I can give you professional advice,” Zero suggested.
“No,” Dina curtly refused. Someone as indifferent as Zero could never be able to understand.
“
“Leave me to myself,” she demanded calmly.
“Yes.”
***
The first time she met Jackson, her heartbeat had never beaten as fast as it did, and everything within her confirmed that he was the one.
All her life, she felt something crucial was missing, and finally, that missing part was found. The attention was surreal; it was like a magnetic force that spanned miles. She couldn't stop thinking about him, and by the time she got herself, she had broken up with her girlfriend, confessed to Jackson, and became his lovesick pup.
She was petrified. Who the fuck was this?! This was NOT her! It was like being stuck in a fog; she lived her life, but someone else was in control. Every action of ‘love’ she portrayed with or for Jackson followed an insurmountable amount of terror. This wasn't her… this was NOT her!
She tested for various mental illnesses, but all came out negative, and her doctors dismissed her concerns as her being deeply in love and having no concrete evidence to prove otherwise. She had no way to disapprove of this.
She officially lost her mind when her obsession cost her her two best friends. From there, she spiraled into depression and began self-harm; however, ‘it’ did a good job of hiding her misery with the mask of immense love for Jackson.
She had to disperse her materialistic views and try unconventional means only to circle back to the same results.
She still hadn't met it until that day… she decided out of pure insanity she'd rather kill Jackson than lose control of her life. Even if she ended up in jail, it'd be worth it.
That night, she was finally given a front-row seat to what was happening to her; she watched in a trance-like state as something took control over her, and the knife plunged halfway into her stomach.
Jackson woke up in shock and she watched in helplessness as she gaslit him into believing she did this because she wasn't given enough attention.
It was at that moment that she realized she didn't want ‘it’ to control her anymore. She wanted back control of her life at any cost!
After that night she had nightmares with that evil thing attacking her psyche constantly. Gold-eyed and blue-eyed with chains that creaked with every turn to announce its presence.
She decided to mitigate her losses as much as she could; she put on the perfect show of an obsessed freak, which came easily with it controlling her through all interactions she ever had with Jackson.
As a person who believed that showing vulnerability was a weakness, especially when there was no solution to it, Dina kept everything under wraps as much as she could.
She abhorred Jackson with a passion she had never amounted to anything else. It was quite ironic, she was his biggest lover and hater at the same time.
What she had for him truthfully was never love but malice. After all, how was she supposed to love a person who ruined her entire life whether he was innocent or not?
In a bid to hold on to the bit of sanity she had, she decided to rebel as much as she could. She cheated. The first time was awful; her guilt ate into her. However, when she found out ‘it’ couldn't stop her, she quickly dispelled her guilt.
She decided to indulge as much as she could and tried as much as she could to get Jackson to find out to end their relationship, only to be curtailed by ‘it’. It was intelligent, managing to prevent any possibility of that happening at all costs.
This was her only possible act of rebellion, the only way to hold onto a shred of her sanity—by clinging to the one thing she had control over. It was pathetic, the only thing she could do without being controlled was something she hated doing.
Over time, she became a perfect actor, an obsessed freak with Jackson, a charming lady with others, and a cheating slut whenever possible.
Jackson was never the problem, he was but a victim looped into her mess. Maybe it was because of this that despite her deep hatred for him, the only other person she trusted apart from her best friends was him, so much so that he was the only one other than her friends and mum that she was comfortable showing her body to.
When he broke up with her… she was in ecstasy. Of course, ‘it’ didn't hesitate to take over and mourn dramatically as if a loved one died. Even then, her relief morphed into anxiety; after all, she could envision herself getting degraded from girlfriend stalker to ex-girlfriend stalker, and that wasn't funny, considering it could officially ruin her if Jackson decided to take legal action.
That was when the offer came along, she had assumed ‘it’ would readily agree knowing it was Jackson. Thinking back to it, how pathetic was it that ‘it’ could have simply sold her soul for Jackson and she wouldn't even be able to do shit about it. Honestly pitiful.
Yet, ‘it’ didn't. It refused to accept the offer under the guise that Jackson didn't want her anymore; however, she could tell it was all BS. Who was ‘it’ tricking?!
Dina concluded two things: either ‘it’ actually couldn't sell her soul because it wasn't the original owner or ‘it’ had something to lose by signing the contract or even better… Both!
Dina's first theory was confirmed after she was recalled: ‘It’ no longer had control over her body. To prevent suspicion, she perfectly mirrored its character, which came rather easily and signed the contract.
Her second theory was confirmed after losing all contact with ‘it’ as soon as her mission began. It still struggled to take over whenever Jackson was involved, and she had lost control once after her first mission; however, after that, she never did again and had it perfectly under her thumb.
She was finally in control after so long and her wish when all her mission was complete would be to erase ‘it’ from existence. The thought was exhilarating and gave her all the strength she needed for work.
“Hahaha… Hahahaha… Hahaha hahaha! Ha! Ha!” she cackled hysterically.
What pain? What fear? What reluctance? All she felt was joy! This transmigration was her escape from madness, her savior, the very thing that pulled her out of despair, how could she ever forget??
‘The sorcerers must have amplified the pain from my past traumas, which explained why I was so overwhelmed with just her appearance,’ Dina pondered; she had already figured out the goal of the second trial.
The aim was to overcome one's traumas while being reduced to their most vulnerable state. Only their vulnerable state would be drastically amplified, it was a matter of defeating your demons while being as nerfed as possible.
Dina could already feel it, many would die in this trial.