I walked straight into a very beautiful woman that could not lift her head to meet my eyes. I have heard of this woman and felt her pain in her eyes with the glimpse she gave. Somehow this pain is exactly mine. I wanted to learn more of her and she just ignored me, maybe because I am a slave because I see her entering the Harem as though she belongs there.
I followed her and found her speaking to Maacah and I see the striking resemblance. As both women turned I get to put the truth in my mind. I was called by the king and had to focus to the task at hand. Again I walked in his courters with my own agenda. I will get my day he will die by my hand and will know his fate soon enough.
The king picked up on my mood and said…
" You are angry again son you must let go"
His temptress by his side rubbing his old body with hands as beautiful but at the moment I feel I want to burn it of his body. My hatred is totally out of control. I came to remove her hands even if it means killing this lowlife of a human I will do it. I met clear eyes that holds in it so much compassion for this old undeserving king and equally give it to me that I am totally tortured by it and it stopped me. I sat there yearning for that simple touch at the moment. Now can only wish for that goodness that could never be mine. I looked at the king and felt that he got into my mind and I shut my eyes to let him out.
"Leave us" he instructed with clear authority and she obeyed not looking at me. I hate being dismissed, like that but bottled up even this feeling. I know I was for some time here with the king because of the amount of writing I had to do. Some of it the same stories, which I guess lie very heavily on his heart for him to keep on repeating it. Although angered by this have to continue writing. The king had dossed off and the temptress brought him his food but he was still asleep.
"You must be hungry too Aaronas", she asked?
I looked up from my writing and again the compassion floored me as she made her way to me. I am treading on dangerous grounds here where I had to write of the very woman I met a few hours ago and it all is playing in my head at the moment. She took soft fruit out of the bowl and fed me. Even this I am weary about. The same scene is playing off in my head of what I was told. Before I knew it, I had the temptress pulled towards me.
A sound had escaped from her lips. I smothered all with my devouring kisses. I have lost all power of my mind for now it was not me but the hatred that reached its boiling point I am going to have my revenge now. I wildly kissed her and she is hesitantly returning it which made me open my eyes. I was lost by want and lust ignoring the shock in her eyes.
I blot out everything and pulled at her clothing for access and the ripping sound of her garment brought me to my senses. What I have seen was fear. I wondered what this woman was thinking as I was here to destroy her not worrying of the consequences and she did not utter a sound only the fear was evident.
I feel as sick as the feeling I had when I wrote down what had occurred between the king's favourite son and his daughter. Here I was on the brink to hurt and perhaps commit the same act out of hatred and lust that I just wrote about.
I tried to rectify the situation but both knew what would have happened. So I turned my back on the king and his temptress and find my way at the altar speaking directly to the God of Israel.
"Why Lord why do you allow hatred into your creation when you are supposed to be a God of Goodness and Mercy. Why can I not have mercy help me? I want peace of mind. I almost destroyed an innocent perfect being with my hateful ways grant me understanding"!