In the morning with the pain in my body, my eyes were opened by the cringe-crying voice of Zuhab. I was sitting in a hurry. All the women in the room, including the children, were ready.
"Everyone is ready ...? Why didn't you wake me up ...?" I lost consciousness. Everyone was ready to leave.
"You had a fever complaint. That's why Mama said it can be harmful to you to go outside in cold weather ..." Rabia Baji said. I jumped out of bed despite the headache.
"How come ... who complained ...? I left my test and came here to sleep? I will go too ... Give me my clothes, Mama ..."My mother was making Amna's hair.
"You have five minutes, Muntaha. Everyone is waiting downstairs." Mama handed over the clothes in my hand. Everyone had left the room. Within five minutes, without looking into the mirror, I just washed my face, wore a dress, and shoes, and got out of the room. I knew Rabia Baji would have a make-up tool in her bag. The journey to the academy would take five to six minutes. And in these minutes I will do a no-makeup look. They were leaving the house. From DOS's family to us we all did decent dressing in terms of a cold season. Sitting in the car, I took the bag from Rabia Baji. And as usual, I found beauty hacks in Rabia Baji's bag. I only wanted to apply lipstick so that my face looked fresh. I picked a compact powder kit and shit! How could I have forgotten this? The mark on my lip. In fear, I put that kit back in the bag.
"What's the matter, Muntaha? You're not feeling well. Don't go ..." Rabia Baji said while looking at my pale face.
I nodded my head in NO. I looked all around the car but didn't find that face and hazel eyes. That can't be even a nightmare. Rafay Bhai Bhai was also taking care of his responsibilities in the Academy. The truth was that everyone was unaware of the incident that happened last night. Otherwise, Rabia Baji would have been beating me instead of taking care of me. She never expected me to do anything right and then I got hurt by a stranger's shoulder. Such an insult for me. I had just seen a watch strapped to my wrist. It was about eight o'clock in the morning. The car had entered from the back side of the Naval Academy. We had just gotten out of the car when the white Navy uniform-wearing Rafay Bhai Bhai came toward us. He was apologizing to Baba because he had come late at night too. Rafay Bhai Bhai is responsible for handling educational activities throughout the Naval Academy. So nowadays he does not have time to meet others and even his family. Due to being the wife of Mr. DoS, Beenish Baji Baji and the children got to their VIP seats. They were seated with the wives of the officers. Because of work Rafay Bhai Bhai apologized to us and left. Now we had to take care of ourselves. First of all, we were taken away from our mobile phones at the entrance. I didn't know. Sadly, I wanted my Instagram account. Before coming here, I had downloaded the net package and filters in particular so that I can put stories on my Instagram but they made it impossible. The lady officer had seated us on the chairs in front of the Quaid-e-Azam (Founder of Pakistan) block (present in Naval Academy). Our chairs were facing the Quaid-e-Azam block. There were shades (cantonments). But where we were sitting, that space was covered with sunlight. I had a fever, and this winter sunlight was a blessing. We left the last three rows and sat on the fourth-row seats. We had no regrets sitting in the last rows. There was only one sight in front of everyone. Beyond the ground, there was the sea. This was the scene right in front of our eyes. Second, we didn't have mobiles through which I could post my Instagram story. This sad action stayed with me. The parade started a few moments later. Cadets of young boys and girls adorned the ground. Everybody wanted to die for the homeland on the echoing slogan of Allah Akbar. My condition was the same at that time. I applauded a lot. My hands were red. My heart was alive. We were there as guests. Then our hearts wanted to sacrifice our lives for those young people. For the sake of this white uniform, mothers endure the oppression of their beloved ones. Because they know that the fruit of patience does not waste.
At the end of the swearing-in of the cadets, Amen's voices touched the sky. Sword of honor earned by a lady cadet, everyone applauded a lot. After that, there was a series of speeches. And I started to wither like a dry leaf. I remember we drank a cold glass yesterday morning besides breakfast. The rest of the hunger was taken away by that unknown creature. The sun was shining brightly like my hunger. After speeches Cadets got salutes by Ships, horses, and Planes. The blue sky turned into a colorful sky because of the planes that were revolving over the sky. I realized that they are the ones who are getting the taste of real-life adventures. And here we are, we got a piece of paper in our hands when we passed from the university. Well, there is a difference between Cadets and students. We students do not have to sacrifice our lives for our homeland. So, they deserve this protocol and salutes.
How long had a voice been echoing in the ground through the microphone? I had only heard his last word. The Urdu translation was something like "We will stand ..." And in the next moment, my hair was standing with me. Because in the pass-out parade of Pakistan Naval Academy, everyone except me and my goosebumps was sitting. And everyone's eyes were on me. I felt like I was being punished. It was like a child who got sleep during class and then punished by the teacher. And the whole class looked at that punished child. My heart wanted to drown in the water of Manora.
"The President of Pakistan will pass in front of the saluting platform then we will stand ..." Amna said in my ear sitting next to me. Another embarrassing moment in front of officers happened on Manora Island with me. The officers behind me must be thinking. I don't know the meaning of the orders or didn't understand English. The President of Pakistan had passed in front of our seats. I was also standing with all of them. The program was over. We had all left our seats and come out. I was looking around. Beenish Baji Baji came to us.
"Let's sit and eat in Rafay Bhai's office ..." I was the first to accept her invitation with an open heart. I was behind her to go first. Rafay Bhai Bhai's office was on the first floor of Quaid-e-Azam block. We went and sat in the office. There was a sofa sitting area and a dining area at the back of his office. We were all sitting on the sofa. Everyone was waiting for food. I was happy in my heart that we will also get VIP food under the pretext of officers. And I had decided to eat with great enthusiasm. Najam was Rafay Bhai bhai's manager. Baba also knew him and therefore greeted him very nicely. Behind Najam Bhai, Batman used to enter the room with a tray in one hand and a plate in the other. There was a table lying between the sofas, he put the tray and the plate on that table. And my intestines came out of my mouth.
"Enjoy the dinner ..." Najam Bhai said in a very upset state and left. The door was closed. That is, there was just one dish and one plate for all twelve people. VIP food was something like this. After eating, my father would often ask me for a toothpick to take out leftovers from his teeth. Today, we had to eat the same toothpicks. All the food was served in those toothpicks. There were six one-byte brownies on one plate. All the children had picked them up. The dish contained creamy chicken and similar cheesy bites dishes. Mama understood my hunger. As the children had eaten brownies, Beenish Baji Baji stopped her children to eat more and served that dish in front of everyone. Everyone had picked up a toothpick (food) in confusion. The creamy food that melted in my mouth was called from heaven. I looked at the dish. Everything finished. Beenish Baji Baji looked at us with some embarrassment. This VIP meal increased my appetite. Before I started crying, Najam Bhai had appeared at the door.
"Did you eat well …?" Najam Bhai was asking.
"Najam Bhai, you count us and look at the food..." Beenish Baji Baji had left the conversation incomplete. She was embarrassed.
"Madam, what can we do? We are not even allowed to bring food to the officers' office." He was right in his place. We were not officers, and our diet is not like officers as well. We eat till our tummy gets full. "Why don't you go down to the hall and eat. Everyone is eating there." Najam Bhai came up with a solution.
"Is there any food now ...?" Beenish Baji Baji asked. Najam bhai shook his head in surprise. We are all going down in the hall just to fill our tummies. It was done. Everyone ate. We saw a buffet. There was food. There were no toothpicks. There was only one time when the academy cadets were allowed to eat openly. I filled my plate with sandwiches, spaghetti, and Chinese rice, and started eating while standing. I forgot the surroundings. My stomach will be thankful to me after this treat. In the end, I drank both coffee and Kashmiri tea. I was full of strength. Beenish Baji Baji asked for our phones which we got back. So, I took as many pictures as I could for my Instagram Story. For security reasons, I did not share all the photos. After that, we went back to Beenish Baji Baji's house. When we went there, we were all relaxed and an hour later new guests came to the house. Husband and wife from a reputable family. He had retired. Rabia Baji had told me about their specialty in names. The peculiarity of the names of the couple was that the husband's name was Rifat (which usually is for girls in Pakistan) and the wife's name was Aslam (A boy name in Pakistan). I only knew this much about them. So I wanted to rest for a while. After sitting for a few moments between the couple, I came upstairs.
It was three o'clock in the evening when I woke up again. Everyone was planning to go to the seaside after lunch. Everyone was busy. Beenish Baji Baji forced me to eat by saying that.
"Instead of VIP food, Someone should have to eat homemade food." And those toothpicks clicked in my mind.
And I didn't want to spend time hungry again. In the dining hall, there were various dishes made by Mess (Mess for forces). There were some of them that I had eaten at the academy and some of which were specially made for us by Beenish Baji Baji. And the rest was made of Mess. I sat down at the long dining table and started eating. At that time, I was wearing a loose shalwar (trouser) and Kameez (Shirt) with a black loose scarf over my head. My mouth stopped. When someone came suddenly and sat down on a chair placed in front of me around the table. He was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. He was the one with the military-cut brown hair. He was the one who hit me on the stairs. In the thousandth part revolving in my mind, I remembered everything in a second. I recognized him through his eyes because I saw them very closely. At the same time, the morsel was stuck in my throat. I put the spoon on the plate. I could understand something. Before that, Rifat and Aslam Aunty had come into the dining hall. Aunty offered me a glass of water. In this cold season, I got wet with sweat. Aunty Aslam was sitting next to me and uncle Rifat sat with that young boy.
"Okay …?" she asked me as I regained my composure. "Should eat carefully, daughter." She started giving me instructions on how to eat and my heart was about to disappear from here.
"This is the youngest daughter of Mustaqeem ..." Uncle Rifat was confirming since he was meeting me for the first time. Aunty shook her head. He asked.
"Do you study ...? Daughter?" I had to look at him to answer.
"Yeah ..." I forgot to speak.
"What do you study …?" I used to say a long sentence to tell my education and not a word was said to me here.
"Um ..." There were thorns in my throat. I put the glass towards my lips with trembling hands.
"Why are you asking questions? Look at her state, she is not in a condition to answer your questions. And you, Nawab?" I looked up who she was calling? And she was looking at that young man. "The girl was coughing in front of you. And you can do as much as you want to move the glass of water towards this girl. Can't you?"I don't know how my eyes were focused on him. Maybe I wanted to see the arrogant man's reaction.
"It's too bad, Nawab. Helping others should be your priority in the training we receive from the Navy. Didn't they teach you to help others?" Aunty Aslam was sad about his behavior.
"I forgot!"Oh, how beautiful his voice was just like his own.
"Nawab ...!" Uncle Riffat shouted grinding his teeth and looking at the young man sitting next to him. I heard Nawabzada muttering in English.
"Oh! So, Nawab is his actual name." I focused.
"I'm angry because of your attitude. How can any girl spend time with you ...?" Aunty Aslam was so sad. The Nawab was saying to Aunty Aslam in English.
"When did I ask a girl to spend time with me ...?" He was not rude. His tone was devoid of any emotion.
"They ..." Uncle Riffat looked at both of them, he wanted to stop them because of my presence. Then he addressed me.
"This is our son." And the water of Manora Island falls on me. This mystery was also solved. Uncle Rifat was telling. "My mother used to call him Nawab. And now he considers himself a real Nawab." I looked at Nawabzada. He was six feet tall, with a smart white complexion, pink lips, and clean shaved the owner of a beautiful feature. He was a Nawabzada. And maybe he was proud of that.
"Eat, daughter ..." Aunty Aslam said to me and I found myself unnecessarily between the three of them.
"Aslam! Look at her face, how it is turning red ..." Nawab also looked at my face along with his father and mother. I felt like my face was exhaling heat. Now, it was too late for blood to drip from my face.
"Yes, Parveen, her mother was also telling her that she was not feeling well since yesterday ..." And she reminds me of yesterday's incident in front of that Nawab. Now I wanted to disappear like a Genie, but can't. My face turned so reddish that Aunty got nervous. Concerned about my health, she grabbed my hand and took me in front of all the family members sitting in the garden. Was I crying? I was unaware of these tears. The only reason I was afraid was that he would not tell the story in front of anyone. It would be shameful for me. I was busy on my mobile all the time when everyone was on the beach. After that, I intended to get out of the room. I had just opened the door when I saw him coming out of their room, which was right in front of our room door. I had locked myself in a room. I didn't open the door of our room until someone didn't come. Exactly an hour and a half later, all the people came back from the beach. It's time for us to leave the Beenish Baji Baji house. We were coming out of the room wearing abaya and scarf when we saw Aunty Aslam had come out of that room. That room was given to their family just like us as a guest room. We all came down. There were minutes left, we had to wait for a coaster that came at the right time. We had to sit in the lounge and wait. Nawab was also sitting in the lounge with his father. Despite not looking in the mirror, I could tell that my face started pale because of the existence of that Nawab. All the brothers of Aslam Aunty were in the Army or Navy. The eldest son was sitting in front and the youngest son was passing out the reason they were also present at yesterday's parade. They lived in a Karsaz in Karachi. He came here after the parade. I was smiling. During the conversations, Batman brought a white hanging uniform.
"Put it in our room ..." said Aunty Aslam.
"Yesterday I saw the Nawab's uniform. It was clear then what happened suddenly Asked Beenish Baji Baji's mother-in-law. ...?"
"I saw his uniform right before climbing the stairs myself. I went upstairs and he said the uniform is useless. I need a new one ..." I started looking down on Aslam's aunt's words.
"What happened to the uniform, Nawab ...?" Grandma asked, placing her hand slightly down her chin.
"Stains look good on the moon. Grandma. The stains on the white color have to be hidden like this. If it is obvious, it will make you infamous." It happened again. He was giving yesterday's reference. I didn't look up but the condition was such that I could not even swallow saliva.
"Nawab also speaks so deeply."
Said Rafay Bhai Bhai. He smiled. His smile was also that of Nawab.
"You are right, Rafay Bhai Bhai. But I was disturbed by the sudden onslaught of evil. It would be difficult for me to arrange another uniform for myself. But thanks to you. You did a great job. You arranged a uniform for me...." He seemed to be silent and proud. …But he is now talking till boiling my blood. I was just grinding my teeth.
"How are you now ...?" Rafay Bhai Bhai was asking me now. He looked at me with a smirk as if he had got a license. In the answer, I just looked at Rafay Bhai Bhai and smiled, so that they know I am fine. But the conversation did not end here.
"Yesterday's ceremony for Muntaha also went badly ..." Said Beenish Baji Baji's mother-in-law. It was not like this. Despite the fever, I enjoyed the event. Why didn't you do your makeup ...? "The men were now busy with their conversations.
"Thankfully, we took her away. Otherwise, Mama said to leave her in the presence of you and Grandma. Don't know how so suddenly she catches a fever " I was getting confused. Now their topic of conversation is me and this in front of the Nawab made me helpless. "If she didn't get up in the morning, we would have left her. Now, in five minutes, she could only change her clothes." Mama explained in detail.
"She was putting lipstick in the car, but she didn't apply it because of her injuries ..." Rabia Baji was the one who highlighted this. And I couldn't even hide my face. I stared at the hands lying in the lap.
"Why didn't you put any medicine on her lips? You should also let her go to the doctor ..." I looked at him silently. It had only one glance. I could not tell at a glance from his unimpressed face.
"It's just a matter of time. Applying milk cream will heal itself," Grandma said.
"MashaAllah, all the children of MUstaqeem Bhai are very sweet and beautiful..." Aunty Aslam said formally.
"Yeah ... Thank God everyone is beautiful. God knows why Muntahas eyes are small ..." Grandma said. And it seemed to be a disability.
"No, Grandma, she has such lovely eyes ..." Aunty Aslam immediately said while looking at me.
"No, l am just saying that her eyes are smaller than the rest of the kids." Rabia Baji imperceptibly grabbed my arm. Because I wanted to go from here, where everyone was talking about me.
"Everyone else's eyes are on the mother. She's on her father. What's the matter with this ..." Said Aunty Asalm. After this, Grandma didn't say a word.
"Daughter, are you studying ...?" Aunty Aslam was asking.
"She is doing computer engineering from NED ..." said Rabia Baji. And here it was over. The coaster had arrived. The men had gone out. From sitting on the coaster to the door of the house, I did not even look up. And in the darkness of the night, I found many reasons to cry.
...…...
Four days after coming from Manora, the mother of Arham Bhai Bhai came and the date of marriage was fixed three months later after my examinations. Preparations for Rabia Baji's marriage had already started. I was happy for her. The thought that she would leave me here alone was scaring me. Not only me but the whole house used to be Rabia Baji's existence. Rabia Baji supported Baba in such a way that now she was getting married in a small but best hotel as compared to Arham Bhai Bhai's family. In wedding preparations, she and Baba were so busy these days. And I was busy with household chores. I was not in the habit of doing my work. What to wear when going somewhere? How to study? Rabia Baji used to guide me in every situation. Grandmother was happy that her daughter's burden was lessened. Rabia Baji's routine these days was tough. She had to go to the office in the morning and had to do wedding preparations afterward. Now it makes me sad that she will be gone soon. Now I understand why she always used to say this.
"Knowing you're different is only the beginning. If you accept these differences you'll be able to get past them and grow even closer."
"These are all our struggles which remain in others' minds, not our faces. People love Allama Iqbal because of his unbelievable poetry strength. People pay tribute to Quaid-e-Azam because He is the reason for Pakistan's existence. It's not their faces, it's their achievements which mark history."
It was a beginning to understand her words now. She will leave this house, we will remember her. Will we remember her because she was just beautiful...? No, the answer was clear. It's the love and respect for her existence.
As soon as the exam finished, I took care of all the household chores on my own. And there was a time when she started to cry when she saw me working. I do the dishes, cleaning everything. During the semester break, I was doing aa good job.
Last week we were writing cards. We decided to invite a few people to the wedding. I also took the responsibility of writing the cards.
"Rifat ...? Aunty Aslam ...?" I wanted to confirm. Baba shook his head. "Why are we inviting their family ...?"
"What do you mean ...?" Baa looked at me with his spectacles in amazement.
"I mean, they're elite and busy people. Why would they come to our wedding ...?" I explained.
"Our marriage is also not that bad."
Rabia Baji said. This was also true. She said while sitting on the sofa. I also thought it was a busy family. They couldn't attend the event. I wrote an invitation to the whole family on the card. Two days before the wedding, we had a small Nikah ceremony at home. It happened at our home. Therefore, only gents' wives from Rabia Baji's in-laws came to our house on behalf of Arham Bhai Bhai.
The day of the wedding has come. I had a cream scarf on my green velvet shalwar kameez and a heavy shawl over my shoulder. Rabia Baji didn't wear a scarf today. She was wearing a traditional Pakistani red bridal dress with lightweight jewelry. Arham Bhai Bhai had also done the Pakistani traditional groom dressing in cream Sherwani. As I was the elder sister, it was my duty to meet all the guests. Marriage and heavy responsibilities. I was in a dilemma. My feet started aching again because of the heels. I had started the ritual of milk. Apart from me, Saba Baji had two sisters and a younger brother. Like the rest of her sisters, they had a quiet nature, so it was my responsibility to speak here. Behind the sofa of the bride and groom were young and playful girls in suits and boots. All eyes were on me. I was quite confused. I smiled and gave milk to Arham Bhai Bhaj. The groom's cousins were in a mood and a tray of milk was shaking in my hand. But I did not give up. After a while, the sisters of Saba Baji and I also got excited. Arham Bhai Bhai didn't tease us. He gave us an envelope of many five thousand rupees notes in return for the milk that we gave him. I put the tray in front of Arham Bhai Bhai. Arham Bhai Bhi picked up the glass. After that, we got up in front of him. I was coming down from the stage. When Baba was coming toward me. And I started feeling dizzy. The reason is that the Nawab was at the back of Baba, who was wearing black shalwar kameez and black boots.
"Ask the photographer to take a picture of the Nawab with the bride and groom. I have to do work, give him respect." Baba said this and left. He was looking around. I was angry. He knew why he was standing here. He still wanted me to call him.
"Excuse me ..." I called him. He was looking at me in amazement.
"Yes ...?" He said like he does not know anything. I started looking at him with serious eyes on his apparent ignorance.
"I want to take a picture of you with my brother-in-law as Baba said" I informed him what Baba said.
I didn't say anything and took him to the stage. Because of his personality, everyone was looking at him. I left the stage as the photographer started taking pictures of him with the bride and groom. After the picture was taken, he left.
The dinner had started and my eyes didn't see Nawab again during the meal.
It's time for the bride to go to her husband's house. Like others I also started crying but as we hired a photographer and don't want bad pictures, therefore, I control myself because I don't want to look evil in pictures. Rabia Baji was also crying and when for the last time she hugged me before going with her husband. She whispers in my ear.
Because of Grandma's behavior, don't associate sadness with yourself. Learn to be happy." My heart burst into tears that she was still caring for me in her last moments.
I was bursting into tears. She was sitting in the car. My mother and father were meeting everyone at the farewell of guests and I was standing alone at the end of the hotel entrance. My hiccups had stopped as well. During that time, I felt that someone was looking at me. I looked around and who it could be except Nawab? He was standing with one pillar of the hotel and looking at me. Maybe he saw someone crying for the first time. Idiot! I hit the floor and came to the hotel.
Now it's time for the bride's family's dinner. A dining table was set up for us, as we were hosting first. I was also hungry and sat in one chair beside Mama. I was sitting at the table's last chair. and she (Mama) was on the left. My left and front chairs were vacant. I was taking my first bite of Naan when I saw Nawab's hand in my father's hand, he was forcibly calling Nawab.
"He's been working with me all the time. He hasn't eaten yet and he's leaving now. Even without eating, no one goes to the wedding." And my father had put Nawab on the chair on the left side of me. Baba was sitting on the chair in front of me. I put back my bite on the plate.
"Why didn't your mother come, Nawab ...?" Mama asked. Mama was sitting next to me so he had to turn towards me to answer Mama.
"Dad and Mama wanted to come. Because of Faizan's interview and test, they had to go to Islamabad. That's why I came here. After coming back from Islamabad Mama will come to meet you." He was saying. I was a little surprised to see him eating with a spoon. He was eating while talking to my father and Rafay Bhai Bhai. Even though I was hungry, because of Nawab I didn't get any energy to put that bite from my plate into my mouth. I felt the grip of his palm on my face. In immense embarrassment and annoyance, I hit my feet on the ground. I was paralyzed. I did not touch the ground. I was invisibly looking for his feet by removing the tablecloth. I saw the white spot on the shiny black boot and the mark on the heel. My tongue pressed into my teeth. I was frozen. I turned toward my mother. However, I was embarrassed in my own eyes once again this time. After that, I turned toward my mother. He had to leave the hotel with all of us. But I didn't look at him. Wherever there is a Nawab, something bad will happen. I came home with everyone in a car on an empty stomach. And all night I kept crying while looking at the space of Rabia Baji.