"Of all the hurt"
Way back 2018, i was rushed to leave a message to my members because we're going to have our rehearsal. Well, i am the leader of a Cheerleading team. IT is my duty to inform and give some disciplinary actions when needed.
Hala!!! Anong oras na,wala pa sila (sabay tingin sa relo kung anong oras na and also sa phone to check kung may nagreply na) 12:50 na, i only have two ladies with me. Time passed for about five minutes maybe, while I'm in temper finally they are now coming. "Prepare yourselves, get everything you need and keep your phones". -my command. Opss!! My phone vibrated, a notification from my messenger. How come? I am not expecting for anyone (baka si ate) i opened the message. "Huh?? Practice? Wrong sent ka po" -fb friend Mygoshhhh!! I did not noticed na nasend ko sa iba yung message ko para sa cheerleaders ko. So syempre, nagsorry ako. After that incident, tinignan ko profile nya. Well, hindi sya gwapo but i like his innocent smile. Another thing magseseaman sya. I ignored him kasi nga syempre, dalagang Filipina ako kahit half Canadian ako. Though, we have little covo. Pero napahiya talaga ako doon ahh.
Time flies, akala ko wala na sya(hindi patay), hindi na kami magkakausap. Pero hindi ko alam kung ano pumasok sa utak ko at pumayag ako na kausapin sya. Hahaha, uso pa noon yung "LANDIAN THING". Pero hindi sa pagmamalinis hindi ko sya nilandi, we became friends.
At sa kinalaunan ng aming pag uusap nabanggit nya that he'll be going to fly out of the country where he is right now (Philippines).
I thought dun na sya titira HAHAHA! onboard training lang pala. But before daw sya umalis uuwi muna sya sa province nila. Sige magkachat kami hanggang sa nakauwi sya. Ganoon padin, nagbibiruan na kami (may paganun na kami, nagkagaanan na din ng loob for almost 7 months na magkachat). Binibiro ko pa sya na ihahatid ko sya sa Airport. Pero honestly parang gusto ko talagang gawin (as a friend? And para mameet ko sya in person).
Bumalik na sya ng Manila, wala syang paramdam. "Okay, sabagay kachat lang ako".-sabi ko sa sarili ko. A Day later nagbukas ako ng FB account ko. Nasa byahe na pala sya hindi nya manlang sinabi.
"Nasa Japan na ako" nag popup sa phone ko. Hahaha sya,,,,, nag message na sya. Kailangan ko lang pala munang bukasan ang FACEBOOK app ko para magmessage sya, hahhaa charr anong connect?
Kamustahan----- hanggang sa napunta sa tanong na...
Pwede bang, maging tayo na?
Silence----
i did not reply for a period of time...
"Huh??? Anong sinasabi nito? Pinagtitripan ata ako nito." -self.
Bahala na kung trip lang to, lakas loob kung sinabi na "hindi ei hindi nga kita kilala in person. Pero aantayin kita sa manila."
Nagulat ako sa sumunod na sinabi nya" sige pag wala pa pag balik ko, akin kana".
Okay! Pero kung wala pa, kung wala ka pang asawa. Tugon ko.
Matapos yun, wala nanaman kaming communication 1 or 2 months. Birthday ko, inantay ko na igreet nya ako, pero wala so i sent him a message.
"Birthday ko grabi, ikaw lang yung hindi nag greet saakin".
Tagal ah, as in 1 week bago nagreply. Yung reply lang "Okay, belated." So i was been disappointed, umasa ako igigreet ako kasi friends naman kami. Kaya yun hindi ko na sya nireply. Pinili kong hindi na sya ireply. "Baka may jowa na."
..
Nagulat ako isang m gabi habang pauwi ako kasama Bestfriend ko, nag attend kami noon sa isang event as muse.
Unknown number tumatawag 5x and guess what; it is an international call. I am thinking for this possible caller, malabong si ate kasi nasa yung number ni ate nakasave na. So i concluded that this is one of my friends working abroad. I assumed that the ones who's been calling me is him so i chatted him and asked (para hindi ganoon ka halata).
"Ikaw ba yung tumatawag sakin?."
He replied: "No, bakit ako tatawag? Ang Mahalng load dito para itawag lang."
Okay, thanks. -replied.
After that i never tried or attempt to chat him.
February Opss! Naka alala, to.
"Happy Valentine's Day -kamusta naman?". Nag iisip talaga ako kung irereply ko pero sige nireply ko;
"Okay naman". Nagchachat pa sya pero hindi ko na pinansin.
October, dinala si papa sa Hospital. Kailangan ko ng kausap, ichachat ko sana sya pero, naisip ko wag na pala. Anong pakialam nun sakin? Wala!. Iyak ako ng iyak kasi after 2 days nya mag stay sa private room ng hospital, he was declared dead but in God's miracle bumalik yung pag pump ng puso nya. Pero si papa dalhin sa nangyari nilagay na sya sa ICU. I was blaming myself for some instances. Unti-unti ko ng napabayaan ang pag aaral ko.
At times that I'm in school i badly cry in front of my friends. Dumating pa nga sa point na, during our midterm examination na nabasa yung test paper ko so i need to ask for another copy. REMEMBERING those moments that we're still together.
To Be Continued.....