Chapter 26 - Conflicted

Everything was dark. It's like I was standing in a place where light didn't exist. A darkness that never ended. That's what I thought, anyway.

In front of me, the figure of a girl became clear. Her body had a slightly glow to it, which made the features visible. Long snow-white hair and blue eyes. Very familiar.

Oddly familiar.

That was when it sank in. This girl, she looked exactly like me, down to the smallest details. Except, there one difference, she had no expression. Her eyes were cold, looking straight at me.

What in the world was going on?

"Who...are you?" I asked, "...And where am I?"

As the girl answered, her voice sent shivers down my spine. Her voice was the same as mine. She was like a clone of me.

"We're in your mind. Right now, I'm in control of your body on the outside." she paused, looked up in thought, "Hm. And as for who I am, that's a good question. I'm you. Or rather, the version of you that you've long forgotten. The version that has no restraints."

What in the world was this supposed to mean? I'm a little dumb, so I didn't quite understand.

"Huh??" I gasped in confusion.

The other me close her eyes and sighed.

"It's natural you wouldn't understand. Simplified, I'm your other persona. I am not held back by ideals, beliefs or emotions. I think with logic and nothing but that. That is who I am. I am Maya."

I crossed my arms, thinking about everything that happened before before blacking out. The last thing that came to mind was my encounter with the demon. He had his arm charged back, ready to deal the killing blow to me. After that was when my vision faded.

What happened after that?

"So... did I survive?"

"Hmmm. Maybe. I'll let you see for yourself." said Maya, "Here. You may have control over your body again."

____________

It was like a blinked, then I came back to the outside world. My hair was drenched from the rain, and so were my clothes.

I guess I did survive.

I felt myself freeze up at the sight in front of me. Blood was spilled everywhere.

"...Did I do this?"

The demon was a corpse at this point. His own horn had been stabbed through his face. And the cultists, their lifeless bodies were scattered across the mud. All of them had visible slits to their throats.

Did I really do something like this?

They were going to kill me, so I had no other option, right? This is totally justified.... But...Why do I feel uneasy? I killed monster's before, but this was the first time I've taken human lives. Something about it, it felt strange. My brain was in denial.

There's no way.....This wasn't me.

The state I left their corpses in was brutal... Still, I couldn't deny the fact I was happy to be alive. My hand was still clenched around a blood-stained dagger. I assume this was the one I ended their lives with.

Not going to lie, I was a little sacred of myself.

To have left killed off every single one of them, I had to be a monster myself.

No. This wasn't me. It was her.

Right. She was the one in control of my body. Maya was the real monster.

As I was thinking all of this, I could hear her voice reply to me.

"The only thing I did was assure our safety. It was kill or be killed. You and me are one in the same, yet, we're so different. Would you have rather died?"

"well...no"

"See? Then there is no issue."

It's true. This was a far better outcome than death. Plus, those cultists were trying to kill me anyway. What did I feel bad for?

I guess I was just in shock from it all. Blood reminds me of the fact that a life has been taken. Maybe it just brough back those memories from the tunnel system. Though I didn't know Ham or Sally all that well, it was still the first time I've seen death. I still wished I could've done more.

Maya's voice came to cheer me up.

"Amaya. You're a sensitive girl. I see that much. But that's okay, you're still getting used to this world."

I don't know why, but I dropped down to sit against a tree. Holding my knees, tears started to fall from my eyes.

Why am I crying?

"...."

"For a girl you, to suddenly come to a cruel world. This much is natural. You were just normal girl who never seen death before, it's normal to have such emotions."

I played it off the best I could, but deep down, seeing death actual left me a little traumatized. I didn't mention it out of fear it would make me seem soft.

Maya continued.

"We may be different. But I do understand you. You're just a little conflicted. I promise you. You'll get used to it all."

But if I got used to thing like this, wouldn't that make me a bad person?

Upon hearing my thoughts, she answered me.

"It doesn't. It just makes you battle-hardened. Consider it a sign of growing stronger."

"..."

"Don't worry. I will teach you how to be more like me. That way, you'll never feel emotions like these. Emotions like this are what will hold you back from being great."

I was aware that this would mean throwing away a part of my humanity. Not sure if it was out of desperation to get rid of these feelings, but I smiled through my tears and replied.

"Yes. Show me...show me how to be stronger..."

____________

That night, I went back to the Inn and got my nights worth of sleep. It was hard to fall asleep at first, lots of things were going through my mind.

Things like my new life in this world. It was different from the life I grew up in. There was no technology life computers, cellphones and television. There was no radio. There was no internet. There weren't even many medicines. Almost everything in this world was based around magic. I'd been through a lot in my little time here. I've witnessed death. And technically, I could say that I killed a few people. This wasn't the new life I expected.

The next morning, I went about my day usual. Me and Emi ate breakfast. We went out to the market. I even met up with Katsu for sword practice, thought it ended the same as always. Katsu won.

Looking down at me, he spoke.

"You improved. By a lot."

My body was still laying against the dirt, drenched in sweat. While trying to catch my breath, I managed to reply.

"...But...I still lost..."

"You didn't lose as badly as usual." Katsu crossed his arms, "Actually, it's almost as if you gained a power-up overnight." He grabbed my hand, pulling me off the floor.

I was back on my center of balance.

"R-really? You think so?"

"Yes. In fact, it's almost scary how much stronger you've become" Katsu nodded, "This was the first time you forced me to activate a skill."

Now that he mentioned it, I remember seeing his body glow for a moment while we locked swords. In that moment, it felt like I was moving slower than normal. Meanwhile, Katsu seemed like his speed picked up. After that, he struck my knee using the side of his sword. This is what led to my loss.

One thing crossed my mind: If this was a real fight, I would've losses a hundred-times over.

"Yeah. What kind of skill was that?" I asked.

"It's my most reliable one. Time Slow. Everything around me moves half of its original speed. My speed is the only thing unaffected." Katsu grabbed a handful of pebbles of the ground, "I'll show you a demonstration by throwing these in the air. Naturally, it would be pretty hard to catch all of this pebbles mid-air. But it's not a problem."

His hand clenched. With a firm toss, the pebbles were hurled into the air above. As they fell down, Katsu's figure began to glow in a slight haze of blue. The way he began to move, it almost looked like super-sonic speeds. He snatched each and every one of the pebbles from the air. Without any real effort.

"See." Katsu revealed his palm, holding exactly nine different pebbles.

"Ohhh. Cool!" I shouted, "But, why are you showing me this?" I asked.

Was he just trying to show off or something?

"Because of how you ended up in this world, the world system recognizes you as a hero."

As I was already aware, this world as some sort of leveling system like and RPG. And in this system, it's possible to obtain titles. In my case, it seems like I was bestowed the title of [Hero]

This was something I didn't notice when I first arrived in this world. Turns out that you need to say certain command to view your titles 'System: Reveal Personal Titles'

Heroes were people who came from other worlds. However, unlike the normal humans here, Hero's had no limit to their power. They could grow stronger continuously. And even the amount of EXP they gained was higher than normal people.

Katsu continued.

"Heroes have a unique ability to adapt to their environments and learn new skills. Supposedly, some could learn skills form just watching others."

I see what he was thinking. He probably figured that I would be able to learn his skill if he explained how it worked. Looks like he was wrong.

"Well, that's a bummer." I sighed, "A new skill could've been handy."

"Hm." Katsu stroked his chin, "Seems like the skill learning isn't true for all heroes. I wonder why."

Maybe, it was meant to be a mystery. There probably wasn't even an answer.

This was likely just another product of my bad luck. It goes without saying that my status as [Hero] would be a little defective. Obviously, I would need to work a little harder than your average hero. But deep in my heart, I was ready for a little hard work.

Afterall, I made promise to myself. No matter what, I was going to live out a happy life in this world.

' It's a given that my bad luck will bring problems along the way. My life probably has hundreds of obstacles planned out for me. Even if none of them are visible now, that doesn't mean they're not there. '

But regardless, I'm prepared.

If a wall appears, I'll just break right through it. And If life knocks me down, I'll get back up and taunt the sky. "Is that all you got?"

I clenched my fist and held it up.

"Yeah. I totally got this."

"You got what?" Katsu asked.

"Oh. Just ignore that." I replied.

Of course, Katsu wasn't aware of my inner monologue. Lol.

Our training was concluded, and we began to walk back into town.

Emi followed right behind us, holding her tummy as it rumbled.

Grrrrr.

"...Can we please get something to eat?"

It was a funny occurrence. Every time training was over, Emi would always ask the same thing. Even if she wasn't the one fighting with a sword, she'd somehow have an appetite when it was time to head back to town. Somehow, she always worked up an appetite form just spectating. This was just the way Emi was. She was a big food lover.

Honestly, she was like a little sister to me. And I guess I was like a cool older sister who always spoiled her. My mouth could never find the words to tell her "No."

"Of course, we can get some food. What do you feel like eating?" As I asked this, drool began to hang from her mouth, while her mind wondered off into a food fantasy

"Ehe....chicken tenders..." she muttered with a smile.

She wasn't going to come out of that daydream any time soon.

This next part probably doesn't need to be explained, but that afternoon, Emi ate to her heart's content. Four plates of chicken tenders were demolished on sight. As for me, my stomach was only able to hold only a serving worth.

'How does someone as small as her eat so much. I could never. '

And still, Emi wore a smile, holding out her plate.

"More pleaseeee."