She felt it in the air, in the sudden cold that clutched onto her as if to take as much warmth it could from her, she didn't care to wonder how it was possible, how the man had been there for one minute and gone the next as if she had imagined the whole thing. She cared little to contemplate her very state of mind, of if whether she had finally lost it never to regain her sanity again, for all she felt, all she felt was the stifling cold that seemed to chill her to the bone, only to squeeze her heart as if in attempt to freeze the very life out of her.
It was then it struck, with the intensity of the emotion, she wondered why she felt as she did, like he had taken her very life with him, for she now felt empty. She found it too confusing to contemplate, now very much tired she decided she'd leave for bed. Packing away the first aid kit and placing it back where she had taken it from, as well as threw the blood stained towels into the washer, she found herself walking back into the lounge toward the couch he had been sat on.
Her hand clutched the soft blanket, not feeling any wetness that would have been there from the blood should he have stained it, she clutched it to her chest, only to smell the residue of his scent, the scent was of both charred coal and honey, a peculiar combination but she found it lulled her restlessness. Barely feeling any warmth that was slowly dissipating into the fireplace, she knew the fire would soon die and with certainty that she would not mistakenly start a house fire, she padded her way to her room.
The skies still wept all night through, as if to cry along with her, for although no tears left her eyes, bloody tears drenched her heart. If only she understood that what had brought about such intense emotions was the bond the fates had twined with their souls, so strong that all it had taken was her meeting him just once and all she wanted was to remain by his side for all eternity.
And so they had finally collided, a collision that would come to have ever lasting effects in her life.
She was prepared to go into a deep slumber that would make her forget reality and the heartbreak and yearning that aimed to torment her heart, however, she wasn't prepared for the scenes that would soon play before the eyes that could only ever see in her dreams.
Perhaps it is why she thought the dreams to be that, mere dreams without grounds to actually exist, for even though she hadn't seen for years, she was certain such creatures didn't exist in reality. Her dreams alternated from good to bad, if she weren't free riding a unicorn, with skin white as snow and a horn that glimmered in gold under the beaming sun, in the most enchanting of lands, filled with white trees that bore blood red fruits, and fields filled to the brim with wild flowers of all kinds she had never seen before.
She loved the freedom she felt in those moments, as wind whipped through her hair and the air clung to her in a way it felt like a protective blanket from nature itself, she felt like home. Only to be stuck within nothing but darkness, and although that was what she had been seeing for years, this darkness felt different, shadows lived within it, the haunting kind that yearned to rip her soul apart piece by piece.
Sharp white teeth flashed before her eyes, black talons ripped at her being in sporadic patterns, and every time she opened her mouth to scream, nothing but thick smoke kept the sounds lodged in her throat, and she found that those were the worst kinds of nightmares she had ever had.
Way worse that the sinister voices that would haunt her, a blatant reminder of the nights she had been caged for nights on end, being left to wonder until her mind couldn't even think anymore. She couldn't comprehend just why such dreams riddled her sleep, it having been a week since she met the strange man that disappeared in a way no way possible for a human, she thought perhaps he was the cause of it all.
Then again, had she really met that man? had that incident really happened or had it all been but a really vivid dream? Truly she was nearing the edge of madness at this point, she thought. For her own mind felt in tethers with no single grounding thought.
Not wanting to dwell on questioning her sanity and knowing that she had a few online lectures to attend for the day, she decided that she might as well get started with her day. Pressing a button on the clock on her bedside, a robotic voice informed her that it was 8 am, giving her plenty of time to get ready, although she wouldn't leave the house to head anywhere for the day.
Perhaps she might take a stroll in the garden however, that would be the only place she would freely walk about. She hated how she let fear entrap her within the territory of her home, but she found herself incapable of defeating the crippling emotion, for even though the incident had happened years ago, it still gripped her with fervour.
It seemed like even though she knew should it come down to it, that situation demand she defend herself, she would without a doubt be capable to keep from being a victim again. But she still didn't like the notion of inviting danger within her life. And to her, being out and about in the unforgiving grounds of the world would be doing just that.
Sure she didn't mind the trips to the mall, only when she had her mother for company, nor did she mind making the trip to elsewhere where her presence would be demanded, so long as she had her father with her. She despised having let the fear reduce her to nothing but a mere five-year-old again, however, there was little she could do, or perhaps there was little she chose to do.
For surely she knew that danger wasn't around every single corner and crevice of the world that surrounded her, surely not everyone bore evil against her and surely those perpetrators still remained behind bars, therefore, she still had something she could do. But then again how does one truly fight fear, crippling paranoia, when they've had no reason to be brave against it at all.
"Darling, awake so early?" came the voice of her mother as she walked into the kitchen. The woman wondering what had led to her early awakening, for she knew her daughter had always loved sleep, for the relationship between her and her bed was one of soulmateship. She fondly smiled her daughter's way even though she knew her daughter wouldn't see it. However, Serilda could actually see it, not through her eyes but the tone of her mother's voice and she could feel it in the atmosphere, or perhaps she simply had active imagination even when awake.
"Yea, got a lecture in thirty minutes" she yawned out, rubbing her eyes, that although had no purpose, still itched from sleep.
"What's for breakfast" she breathed out as she sat on the island stool, folding her arms on the counter. The woman having already prepared the pancake batter, questioned anyway
"Will strawberry pancakes surface?" she asked, to which she received an enthusiastic nod from her daughter, who held out her hands open. Placing the bowl of strawberries between her daughter's hands, as well as a knife and strawberry huller, the mother watched as Serilda got to work, while she continued making pancakes.
The woman looked nothing like her precious Serilda, although she had beautiful shoulder length blonde hair, she had emeralds for eyes, was tall as a model and built like one, in her late thirties, Serilda had never bothered to ask how her mother was so young yet had a twenty-three-year-old daughter.
That is how she had come to wonder if whether she had been adopted, either parents having failed to tell her of such detail, not that she minded, should she have been adopted, for she had grown up loved and most cherished, her brother most annoying however, she wouldn't have him any other way for she loved him and dearly so.
Breakfast didn't take too long to prepare and in no time, the two were seated munching away with discussions of their plans, her father having left far earlier for work. The man himself also bore no resemblance to his daughter, with his black hair and brown eyes, tall as well and well-muscled, it was no wonder his daughter felt safer with him taking her anywhere.
Be it out for a lunch date or to art galleries where he would proceed to describe the art in fine detail, as fine as he could only to repaint the picture in his daughter's mind. Aside from the times he simply wanted to get a laugh out of her, only then did he describe what she would deem the most ridiculous of paintings ever.
"Oh and I almost forgot, Amanda is coming to visit today" this surprised Serilda, for the name belonged to a girl she hadn't spoken to in years. Wondering of her abrupt change of heart in having completely shut her out of her life, she questioned
"What, why now?" as if her mother would have the answers, however, the old woman seemed as clueless when she said
"I don't know, whatever happened was between you girls" she said, getting up to place their plates in the sink, only to rinse them off and place them in the dishwasher. Seeing the emotions that followed on her daughter's face, she let out a sigh, walking over to the island only to lean against in, arms before her, rested on the counter, opposite her daughter, she took her hands and said
"Look honey, I know that the way she shut you out of her life when she did wasn't exactly right, but you must remember that you too had shut everyone out too, perhaps your other friends just fed off of the energy you were giving, and decided to give you a bit of distance they thought you needed." She said, attentively so, her words as if tip toeing on egg shells as she waited for her daughter's reaction, a daughter she knew tended to have quite the temper, despite her sweet demure nature most of the time.
"It's been three years Ma! yes in the first few months I might have appreciated their distance, but come on, it was like radio silence after that, so what? was I to be the one to extend the olive branch!? I was the one that went through shit, not them, so why do I gotta be the one to make the first move?" Serilda couldn't help but spit out, not only from frustration however, the hurt that came with the people she loved and trusted having decided they didn't need her anymore.
"I know honey, I'm sorry but, it's called being the bigger person, but look on the bright side" she said, ridding of the cringing expression that had overtook her face during her daughter's rant, she added "At least you actually don't have to be the bigger person since Amanda is the one who's making the move here. I mean you'll still need to be the bigger person to an extent too though and hear what she has to say without getting angry like you just did now, but this might turn out good for the both of you" letting out a sigh, Serilda simply lowered her head onto her now folded arms on the island counter. Groaning she asked
"Do I really have to?" and she heard her mother chuckle and she could swear she wore a smile as she said
"Yes, now, don't stress about it, you already look as pale as a sheet of paper" she heard her say, oblivious to the concerned look that was slowly creeping onto her mother's face, for now that she was having a good look at her daughter, she noticed that she had gotten paler than her normal pale skin tone, and that slightly had her worried.
However, in order to avoid freaking or stressing her out further she decided she would wait for a few days and see if whether it was something serious or maybe she was just too worried
about meeting her old best friend again. Shaking her head off, she pecked her daughter's forehead and bid her farewell because she had to get to work.
"See you later, love you" and Serilda could only say
"Love you too ma" before her thoughts trailed off to what she was to deal with in a few hours.
She found that although she was angry that her friends had abandoned her in her time of need, she also understood why they would, not only had she shut everyone out, she was now damaged. She thought herself to be nothing but damaged goods, her smiles were cracked, and the more she tried to genuinely smile, the more they seem to break.
She barely laughed too, although she thought herself to be getting better, and not as depressed as she had been for the past two years, the sound although deceiving to others' ears, her own laugh couldn't deceive her for it always sounded hollow, like the empty echoing of an empty steel tank.