Chereads / The Vicissitudes of Life / Chapter 94 - XCIV

Chapter 94 - XCIV

[Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised.] This is all I can think upon waking up chained to a chair and surrounded by guards. The governor stands before me, staring expressionlessly down at me; once I take my focus from him, I see that I am in a dark, wet cellar, the walls a dark gray stone.

"You know, you [did] behave like a psychopath, the clues were all there," I say to the governor.

"You are hardly in a position to be throwing insults, now are you?"

I give him my best approximation of an evil grin, something I have been practicing for a while. "I'm hardly worried, had you wanted to kill me, I would surely be dead right now. Even though no one in this city can come close to my power, I am a remarkably deep sleeper sometimes, if you could transport me here you could have just as easily killed me.

"Now, on to the main question: what is the meaning of this? Surely you wouldn't be so excessively foolish as to have done this with the intent of getting back your gold?"

"Oh, no, there is a bit more than that. The gold is trivial, to be treated so rudely by a mere adventurer of no nobility, this is unacceptable."

"Aww, poor you. Do you want me to sign a written apology or something? I didn't realize this nation's nobles were so petty as to initiate conflicts over hurt feelings, it would seem that I was wrong. Or, perhaps, are you an outlier, an extra sensitive baby?"

For only a moment, the governor's face contorts to a glare; then, as though nothing had happened, it returns to normal.

"You have quite the talent for irritating others, you know. It's as though every one of your actions is taken with the express intention of initiating conflict."

"Good, that's exactly what I aim for. So, what do you want? I'm not giving you my money, and I really have got to get back to the guild. How about I make you a deal. Give me five hundred gold, and I won't mention this to the guild, how does that sound? Because I'm quite certain that the guild would take retribution far greater than just banning you from its services if this were to come to light."

The governor glances at one of the guards. Without any warning, he slugs me in the gut. While my resistance skill alleviates some of the damage, the blow still hurts quite a bit, leading me to believe that he likely has a moderately high strength skill.

After I catch my breath, I ask the governor "Is that a no? I think that you really ought to reconsider, though if you have a counteroffer, I would be willing to at least hear it."

Following another cue, the group of guards begin to pummel me. Crushing pains erupt from all over my body as their gauntlets fists pummel me hard enough to break bones. And break them, the do; my my estimates, no less than five ribs are cracked, bringing difficulty breathing and excruciating pain. Add on the blinding pain of my nose being broken, and it could certainly be said that I am being made to feel quite uncomfortable.

Considering that I am fully chained down, I let the blows land. However, I don't scream or cry out, or even grit my teeth to keep from doing so. For how could this pain, this mere worldly torment, compare with the boundless suffering that I had suffered in my return from the void? And even compared with the nothingness of the void itself, is this pain not infinitely preferable?

That said, I can hardly control my need to cough, and with broken ribs that is something I can hardly resist. Once my coughing fits become quite severe, the governor calls off his goons.

"Is this how you silence your dissenters?" I ask, before unwittingly beginning a laugh that sets off a fit of coughs that bring the taste of blood into my mouth.

The tyrannical governor grabs my hair holding my head such that I must look into his eyes. "Here is how this is going to go," he says to me, "if you wish to live. First, you shall give me all of your possessions, money, equipment, et cetera. Then, you will submit to me as my slave, serving me for the rest of your days in a humiliating state. Do you understand?"

"Actually, I don't. How exactly do you intend to make me agree to this?"

"Well, there is always the option of death. However, if you wish to live, you will agree. As I'm sure you are already aware, those chains block all straight magic methods, you have no way to escape. So, what will you choose? My conditions or death, there can be no third option."

"Really? Well, one more question, then. Are any of your guards mages, and did you watch me use magic?"

"That's two questions, and besides, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, you see, I haven't used straight magic even once in my life, it is not something with which I am capable. Elemental manipulation, on the other hand…" I give him a big smile, reveling in the feeling that can only be obtained by bullying the prideful weak, those who do not realize their own inferiority and can be forced to realize it by another's power.

I expect some horrified reaction from him, but he seems unfazed by this. "So? I fail to see how that makes a difference here?"

"Are you dense? Observe." Saying this, I take control over this supposedly special chain which can't at all inhibit my abilities. With a crack, a link snaps and I have control over a metal whip. In this tiny room, it is all too easy to slaughter all of the guards, my whip flicking back and forth across the room, shredding through flesh and leaving trails of bloody gore behind it wherever it streaks through the air. Before the guards can even respond, they are all dead.

Finally, I get the reaction I desire from the governor as he goes pale and a tiny shriek escapes his quivering lips. I revel in his terror as I stand up from my chair, chains flailing manacingly around me splattering blood droplets over the room already so filled with death. I lift myself up a foot off the ground, allowing me to glare down at the pathetic little man who so severely misunderstood his own power.

"So, it is time we negotiate," I declare.

"B-but how? I was told that that chain restricts straight magic, by far the most widespread, non straight magic techniques are usually really noticeable things like necromancy, right?" he mumbles to himself.

Of course, I hear it, and when I do, I cannot help but laugh at him. "Ha ha ha! I can only assume that you aren't a mage yourself, otherwise you would know that straight magic is only the more popular of the two primary branches of magic, the other of which, elemental manipulation, being the one I practice. Though, I am curious, how does this chain claim to work? Surely you weren't foolish enough to rely on something sold to you as a magic item that isn't even magical, right?"

"U, um, the artificer who made it claimed that it cuts mages off from the source of magic."

"Ah, I can only assume that that is whatever mysterious power that allows beginner straight magic practitioners to manipulate straight mana while elementalists must be highly advanced to do the same? Because if it cut mages off from mana, it would have worked on me as well."

"I don't know, I'm sorry."

After another bit of coughing, which probably detracts from the image I am presenting, I continue "Well, it doesn't matter. What is much more important is how you're going to keep me from informing the guild and regional authorities of this. Surely the king over in the city wouldn't look kindly on this behavior of yours, hm?"

"What do you want from me, then?"

"Good! This is the demeanor that you should have shown when I first woke up, then we wouldn't be in this situation at all. So, I want all of your wealth, that is all. You don't need to publicly address this, unless it is to cover for the deaths of these guards, I'm sure you can come up with a plausible excuse. That is all."

"All my wealth?! That is far too excessive!"

"Hmm? Didn't you demand the same of me, alongside the far more extreme request that I be your slave? Besides, I am leaving you with your house and many of your possessions, I just want your liquid cash and whatever items I find to be interesting from around your house, is that really such an extreme demand?"

"Yes, yes, extreme! I cannot do it, I would be left with more after navigating the worst legal storm you could possibly bring upon me, I am nobility after all, a trusted servant of the king!"

"Oh? Well the alternative is that I kill you here and now, what is the point of you holding onto your wealth if I kill you? All of your money and items that I want, or your life, those are your options, your choice. However, one must be chosen and neither are negotiable, I must get one or I shall take both by force, that is the price that you must pay for bringing your forces against me."

His fury is apparently so intense that his eyes begin to bulge out, his face turns red and a vein in his forehead pulsates in an almost menacing manner. He bears his teeth in a monstrous grimace, his visage that of pure, unbridled rage.

Pretending to not notice his strong emotions, I say to him "And if you don't give me an answer in the next ten seconds, I'll consider that a refusal to answer and take your wealth and your life as I have promised. Besides, I don't think this is too unfair. I'll let you and your co-conspirators off the hook for you heinous crimes, all I really want is a bit of money, surely you and your friends' lives are worth more than a mere bit of gold? You're down to three seconds by the way."

A second before I intend to decapitate him with these fancy chains, he sighs, saying "Fine, I'll give you my money."

"And other possessions that I fancy as well, don't forget."

After clenching and unclenching his jaw a handful of times he says "Yes, that as well."

[You know, he seemed a lot calmer during our reactions yesterday, who would have thought that he was hiding such an intense rage beneath his tranquil appearance. Well, he has no right to be mad, here I have again acted with justice! He stood as my opposition, it would not have been too extreme to raze this entire nation to the ground over his actions, I am letting him off lightly here! Let us never forget, even if he were just to refuse to give me money I demand with no excuse, that is standing in my way as well, deserving of far worse treatment than he is currently receiving. And besides, I have a perfectly valid excuse, even by the twisted standard of this world's justice, I'm probably in the right here.]

"Good! Now, bring me to your vaults, and don't try to hide any of your assets from me!"

Still somewhat reluctant for whatever reason, he leads me out of the room I had awoken in and brings me to the adjacent room. We enter to find a massive safe sitting in the middle of the rather small room, occupying much of the available space.

"Open it," I command.

"Can't you just open it yourself?" he snaps at me.

"I wouldn't want to damage its contents, and besides there may be a curse on the safe or some other defense mechanism, how could I be so foolish as to do as you say? Open it, or I'll obtain the key off of your corpse."

With a sigh, he pulls a key from his pocket, with which he quickly opens the safe. He stands to the side, allowing me to glance into the shadowy interior.

"Lead the way," he says, as though he thinks I'm an idiot.

"Hmph. You need to get better at formulating treacheries, that you intend to close me in is so obvious that even the dullest of fools may deduce it. Or, perhaps there are other traps? No, you enter first."

With another of his far-too-common sighs, he leads the way in. To my slight surprise, he doesn't die from any traps upon entry. [He must have been planning on locking me in, then,] I reason. [Even with my powers, this safe is thick, it would have been hard to escape.]

I ignite a ball of flame over my hand, using it to illuminate the dark room. What I find is… honestly, rather disappointing. A few fancy looking swords and pieces of armor hang on the walls and a small pile of gold and a few gems sit atop an engraved table. Even at a glance, I can tell that there are not more than a hundred gold coins there.

"Is this all?" I ask aloud, some doubt finally creeping into my voice. "Or," I continue, "are you hiding the rest? Yes that must be it, no self-respecting noble would have less than a hundred gold to his name, I've met wealthier salesmen. Where's the rest of the money."

"I'm the governor of a nameless village that the kingdom cares so little about as to force us to provide for our own defense, do you really think I would be wealthy?" This question has a strong edge of irritation to it, and from my impeccable reasoning skills I conclude that it's rhetorical in nature.

Still, there is nothing more fun than providing an answer to a rhetorical question, so that is what I do. "Why yes, I would. With how you carry yourself, surely you must possess at least some wealth, what type of man would carry himself as a member of the mighty when he is poorer than many adventurers? You know, there is nothing I hate more than a poser, those who act all high and mighty and turn out to be nothing but overinflated balloons as soon as they are poked or prodded."

After a bit of a struggle with his anger, he finally responds "Well, however I may carry myself, this is the true extent of my wealth, alongside the village by extension. This money represents our ability to hire outside help to deal with major threats to our survival as a village, surely you wouldn't take it all?"

"Oh, but I certainly would," I say with a grin. "I care not for what happens to this village after I have been paid, you're all implicated in this scheme in my eyes. Live or die, it does not matter to me, I just want my money. And, I shall have it."

I open up my dimensional storage ring and sweep all the loot into it. I throw the weapons and armor in, as well as the fancy table for good measure, leaving behind a completely bare safe.

"But sir! How am I supposed to explain to the villagers or the kingdom what happened to the money? That represents all our taxes as well, I would be labeled crooked and corrupt and have a target on my back as soon as anyone realized it was gone!"

"You should have thought of that before you plotted against me then. I don't really care how you resolve the issue, or if you don't at all and you end up dead, just don't ever implicate me or I will be sure that your fate is far worse than whatever the people who come after you could ever threaten. Now, let's pick up a few of your most prized knicknacks, and I'll be on my way."

After this exchange, he doesn't complain again, apparently having sensed that no degree of complaining will sway my cold and ruthless heart. Or at least I fancy it cold and ruthless; I do feel some twinge of guilt at the realization that I have just made this village unable to defend itself by killing its guards and taking its tax dollars, but, well, sometimes justice isn't pretty. Besides, no one could ever argue that my treatment of this village isn't just, they clearly acted against me, compared to the much more severe, and still just, punishment of slaughtering every single one of them, I am being downright merciful with my justice, why should I feel any guilt?! Yes, I am being merciful, the villagers would probably prostrate themselves before me, praising me for being so merciful if the news of what happened here were to get out!

I eventually leave the governor's house, after thoroughly scouring it for anything of any value. I took potions, equipment, maps, books, loose coins, and anything else I encountered in his house that caught my fancy, up until my storage ring was full.

All throughout this time, the governor was surprisingly helpful, to such an extent that I was even willing to offer him help with his problem at the end.

"So, I have an offer, take it or leave it. Before I leave, I could set your house on fire, that would explain you losing all of your possessions and the tax money. I'd make sure that the fire was so intense that even gold would evaporate, all blame would be off your shoulders, what do you think?"

"You want to burn my house down?! You lunatic!"

Seeing that the governor is back to being unreasonable, turning down my genuine offer and all, I just shrug and say "Well, my business is done here, if I ever hear even a single rumor that I robbed this village of its money or its governor of his possessions, I will race here and put an end to your miserable wretched life with as much haste as I can manage. Understood?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Good. Well, I'm off." With that, I open his front door and begin a race to get back to the city before gates close; I am unsure of even what time I woke up, but the evening sun casts an orange glow over the entire valley. The gate on the west side of the village is open, so I make my way out through it into the fields of corpses. Villagers are already clearing them and have made surprisingly good progress already; I figure that they'll be done within a few days at this rate.

Sensing a pair of eyes on me, I turn to see a city guard on the wall, staring at me with wide-eyed shock. Assuming that he was aware of the governor's plot, and that he doesn't know that outcome yet, I give him my signature grin along with a lazy wink. He immediately leaps off of the wall, into the village, not towards me, and begins sprinting in the direction of the governor's house. [Too late,] I can't help but think, [Much, much too late.]