As I was looking at the sky, the dark, night sky suddenly started lighting up with the fireworks to welcome the new year. I looked at the face of the person who was standing beside me. His beautiful eyes were sparkling and for once I thought I saw some kind of emotion in his eyes other than coldness, sadness or emtyiness, but it quickly got back to its original way — a pair of beautiful blue eyes which are filled with nothing but voidness.
I just stared at his face in awe, his face was more beautiful than those fireworks. Just how can someone be this gorgeous?
"I love you..." His attention turned towards me from the fireworks. His eyes slightly twitched at my sudden confession. He looked stunned but I was more stunned. I thought I said it in my heart like usual but this time he heard my voice.
"What?" Julius asked in his usual deep yet cold voice.
Since he has heard it, then what's the point of covering it now?
I took a deep breath then I took Julius's hand as I softy held his hand with my two hands.
"Julius... I love you." I didn't realize that tears were streaming down my face until he wiped them away. My heart was bursting with the love that I have for him.
Oh! How much I've waited for this moment!
"I love you... More than anything else. Even more than myself. Julius, I..." I held back my sobs as I already knew what his answer would be.
Then he softly said, "April, you know right? I don't love anyone except myself. I'm selfish, cruel and don't even think a second before I kill someone yet you still love me?"
I grabbed his hand firmly as I answered, "I do. I don't care about anything else. Julius... Even if you don't love me... Can I at least stay like this for our entire lives. I don't need anything in return, I only want to be with you, I'm happy even if I had to hide in your shadow forever."
He just stared at me. His silence killed me. I become so anxious in fear of rejection that I tightly wrapped my hands around him.
"I love you. I love you so much, Julius."
Julius pulled me away from him, then stared at me for a few seconds, then... It happened. The moment that I was waiting for my whole life happened when Julius simply pulled me closer to him, so close that the tip of our nose's were almost touching. He then looked into my eyes as he gently caresses my face before pressing his lips on mine. Finally, I kissed Julius. And his lips were softer than I've ever imagined, our kiss was deep yet slow.
I was breathless when we finally broke the kiss, my heart was racing as we looked into each other's eyes.
"You only want to stay beside me, right?" He asked.
"Yes."
"It's simple for me, but I don't know if it's simple for you?" At that time I didn't understand his words yet but soon I realized that my life which was deeply entangled with him was only going to face pain and pain but yet my love for him never lessend even a bit, no matter what kind of pain he made me go through, my love for him only increased. I was trapped in my own feelings for him and yet I never regretted it, not even once.