Lucas' POV
I sighed and put down my phone. I rubbed my eyes and stretched before picking up my phone again. I'd been going through Tiana's Instagram page. I didn't even know why I was doing that. She mostly uploaded pictures of herself and friends. BTS members at some other times, some other K Pop groups. At times she uploaded teaser photos of K Dramas she wanted to see. It seemed like she was really into, the whole Korean Entertainment Industry thing, which I found kind of weird and funny for someone of her character. There were a few uploads of her and boyfriends. For someone as popular as her she has had quite a few number of boyfriends, considering how popular she was. I shook my head, why was I so interested in her? I paused at an uploaded photo of her. It looked like it was taken by someone, probably a friend and she wasn't even aware she was being snapped. It was at a beach, she was standing at the river bank smiling brilliantly at someone. It wasn't her usual fake smile that didn't reach her eyes. This one was bright and genuine. She was smiling at a guy who was standing next to her with his hands on her waist. She looked really happy. I looked at the caption;
'Snapped unawares by @ sassybeauty101 but it turned out great tho🥺. Feeling the sun and happiness with my number 1🥺😍.'
I stared at the picture for a long time. This guy definitely wasn't one of her boyfriends. She never smiled genuinely like this with any of her boyfriends. Seeing the picture my chest tightened. I shook my head and put down my phone. I walked over to the window and I pulled the curtains up. A girl came down from the white car packed in front of the house next door. She was holding a large pizza box. I couldn't make out her face. As I stood there for a while staring at her, she suddenly whipped up her head and glanced at my direction. I immediately let the curtains go and moved away from the window. It wouldn't be nice if I was caught staring like that. I moved towards my study table and settled down to do my assignments.
Tiana's POV
I got down from dad's car and grabbed the pizza. As I stood I could feel someone staring at me. I am very self conscious so I can easily tell when someone is staring at me, I glanced at the direction of window of the house next door and I saw a figure hurriedly move away from the window. I shook my head and turned away.
I bade goodbye to dad. As I made to walk away, dad called me back.
"Tee," I turned and stared at him.
"I'm sorry", he said. I stood and stared at him quietly.
"I'm sorry for everything", he said again. I smiled at him.
It wasn't a genuine smile and said,
"It's ok dad"
'It's not your fault. It's mine. It's my fault that I was born a bastard. You made sure I knew it', I thought inwardly and walked away without turning back.
I opened the door and saw mom on the couch watching TV.
"You're back?", she asked.
"Yes", I replied and dropped the pizza box on the table and walked away immediately. She watched me leave and she didn't call me back which I was thankful for because my emotions were all over the place right now. If she had called me back I wouldn't have been able to hide my sadness. I headed straight to my room and locked the door. As I leaned against the door, I dropped to the ground. I sat there, not single tear making it's way to eyes. That was the extent to which I could control my emotions. I sat there seemingly fine as I let the familiar feelings of pain, anger, sadness, despair and hate engulf me in their embraces. I felt the emotions swirl continuously inside me.
'Why?', I asked for the umpteenth time.
'Why did it have to be me? Why did I have to be born in a broken home? My family was broken and so was I'
'Broken and damaged. Helpless and defeated'
The look of embarrassment on my dad's face when that man asked who I was. Was he ashamed of me? Was he embarrassed by me? Was I really nothing but a mistake? A stain in his life that he couldn't wipe off? I shook my head as painful memories tumbled in my head. Each one leaving a deep cut in me.
"You are very foolish!"
"Stupid thing!"
"You think I wanted this?!"
"You're nothing but a mistake"
"Unwanted".
The voices whispered in my head. Each one more convincing than the last. I was slowly breaking down. I could feel myself slipping away. 'No!', I yelled in my head. I searched in my coats for my phone. My breath hitched and my hands shaking, through a cloudy and misty vision I dialed a number. The name flashed on the screen; 'B4 Anybody Else😍😘'.
I stared at the photo displayed on the screen as the call went through. I was smiling. I was happy. But why did that person on the photo seem so distant and far away. She didn't pick up, why wasn't she picking up? I tried again but she didn't pick up. No! I needed to hear her voice. I scrolled through my contacts, my hands still shaking and my thoughts cloudy. I needed somebody....anybody.... my fingers paused at a contact name. I hesitated before finally making the call. It didn't matter, all I knew was I needed somebody, anybody to pull me out. The call went through name of the contact displayed on the screen; 'That Person'. The person picked up after the 3rd ring. A deep male voice said somewhat groggily,
"Hello?"
I took in a sharp breath and said shakily my voice not too clear, "Help....me....please"
"Hello? Tiana? Are you ok?", the voice asked alarmed.
"I....I don't know... The voices... they are saying the same thing... They say I'm worthless....I'm unwanted", I stuttered tears streaming down my face.
"Tiana, listen to me, breath, ok? Breath in... breath out", he said and I obeyed as I took in deep breaths.
"It will all be fine. They are just messing with you. Those voices? They are liars, don't believe them", he said. I listened to him and nodded my head repeatedly and forcefully.
"You are the most beautiful, smart and perfect girl I know so why would you be unwanted?", he said reassuringly. I remained silent as I listened to him. I tried to steady my breathing when I heard footsteps. I immediately stood up from the floor and wiped my eyes. I looked in the mirror and after making sure my eyes were completely dry, I sat on my bed in angle that she wouldn't be able to see me clearly. After a few more minutes, the door opened and mom walked in.
"Aren't you eating your pizza now?", she asked.
I shook my head lightly and replied, "No", trying to keep my voice as steady as possible.
"Alright, I left it in the fridge. Make sure you have it before it gets late", she said as she stood there scrutinizing me.
"Ok", I responded and she left. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard the receding footsteps. I put my phone close to my ear, the call was still on, as I walked towards the window and pulled up the curtains.
"Was that your mom?", the masculine voice asked.
"Hm", I responded lightly as I gazed at the sky.
"Are you ok now?", he asked
"Sort of", I replied.
"What are you doing?", he asked.
"Staring at the sky", I responded.
He was silent for a while before saying, "That always made you feel better"
"It does", I said.
"Thank you", I said after a while.
"Hm", he responded.
And for a while no one said anything. The silence was comfortable rather than awkward. As we just listened to sound of each other's breathing. His breathing, paired with the evening sounds had a very soothing effect.
"I have to go", he said after a while.
"Hm", I acknowledged.
"Goodnight. Take care of yourself ok?", he said.
"Hm. You too", I said and ended the call.
I sighed and continued staring at the sky. After some time, I laid on my bed and I didn't know when I drifted off to sleep. I woke up very early in the morning because I had to take care of the pizza. I woke before my mom did and packed the pizza in some rubber food flasks and headed up.
6:45am
"Tiana! If you are done come down!", mom yelled. I sluggishly dragged myself out of the closet, still very much affected by what had happened yesterday. I sat in front of my mirror. The girl looking back at me had empty eyes and dark circles. She looked broken. I picked up my concealer and concealed my dark circles. When I was sure there was nothing left to conceal, I gazed at myself for a while before finishing up. Before opening the door, I got rid of the feeling of sadness and helplessness that hung around me, concealing all my emotions behind my signature smile and happy face, I walked out. This was the life I led; at school I was the confident and perfect Tiana, but at home, behind closed doors, I was nothing but a damaged and broken girl.