It took M'gann a while to convince me that American roadside food can actually be quite good. That is very much not the case in England. It took me a while to convince her that going outside the ship with green skin would be perfectly fine. I certainly wasn't planning to drop my shield in a state full of gun owners, and hanging around with someone who glows orange while in her civies would do more to give the game away than going in Martian. Superboy didn't much care either way.
That was why on Monday the nineteenth of July in the year of our Lord two thousand and ten a Martian Bio-Ship dropped camouflage over Grammy Smith's Roadside Kitchen, between Houma and Morgan City, just off Highway 90.
"Ring, prevent mobile phone calls." An extremely nervous looking M'gann levitates herself down to the ground from the back hatch. I turn to Superboy. "D'you want me to-?"
He jumps down the seven or so meters to the ground, landing in a crouch. I float down after him to where M'gann is waving hesitantly at the few diners already present. "Er… Hi?"
They are too busy gawping to return her greeting. Superboy scans the area once, then snorts. Ah! The counter. I stride towards it. "Come on, this way. Either of you actually know anything about Louisianan food?"
Turns out? Superboy does. At least, to the extent of knowing what was in things. Better still, he didn't zombify much when he explained it to us. Maybe simple information integrates faster? Perhaps that means he'll get all of the rest without telepathic help. I order what I think is some sort of seafood stew with rice and Superboy and M'gann order a Risotto. Both food types are kept ready to serve behind the counter, but I can see the next batch being cooked so it's probably pretty fresh. They also order Coke, and I think about asking for a large glass of milk before I realise that they probably don't have enough and order orange juice instead. The cook seems to find our presence amusing, and laughs out loud when I hand him three gold coins to pay for it.
"No way, man! No way anyone is gunna believe this happened! These coins? These're gunna get me arrested!"
We take our food and walk to the most isolated free picnic table. It isn't a large area, so we aren't even out of earshot of the people who are just emerging from their stupor. I briefly consider sticking a shield up… But that would be rude.
Ring, one way sound baffle.
There's a brief orange surge, and a sound like collecting a water shield in Sonic 3. M'gann looks at me inquisitorially.
"Sound baffle. Makes it harder for people to hear what we're saying."
"Oh. Okay…"
She looks nervously at the other diners, some of whom are taking pictures of us and the ship. A group of children are either trying to jump up to the back hatch of the Bio-Ship or are re-enacting Superboy's jump down. Superboy's already started eating. Conversation has never been a great skill of mine, but if I can start with anything…
"You said that you were planning to attend high school. What year are you planning to start in?"
"Oh, I'm, ah, I'm starting as a sophomore."
I load my fork with what I think might be oyster. I wanted to leave my food comfort zone and -hooray!- I have. Well and bloody truly. "M'gann, I'm English. Our education system is structured differently. What does that mean in terms of how old your classmates are going to be?"
She's trying to split her attention between me, her food and the other diners. "They'll be sixteen. Mostly, anyway. How does it work in England?"
"At sixteen you're in the last year of secondary school. At the end of the year you take your GCSE exams, and then you're done with compulsory education."
"Really? That early?"
"I've never thought of it as early. A lot of people do go on to college for the next two years, or do a vocational qualification, but, yeah."
"That does seem a bit young."
"According to his personnel file, Kaldur started national service when he was twelve. Not sure how that works."
"Maybe it was a military school?"
"Maybe. Any thoughts on what you want to do after you finish school?" That question warrants a hurried mouthful. Yeah, remember that feeling. She shakes her head. "It's not an immediate concern, but you should probably start thinking about it if you intend to move to Earth on a permanent basis. I got the impression that you were planning on living here?"
"I'd like to."
"Thing about being a superhero? You usually don't get paid to do it."
"Usually?"
"Green Lanterns get paid by the Guardians. It's not great money, but you can live off it. Particularly when bounty payments are taken into account."
"They get paid bounties? That doesn't sound.. very…"
I wave a hand to stop her. "Not by the Corps, but a lot of the people they end up going after have bounties on them from other places."
"Do you get paid by your Corps?"
"Orange Lanterns assume that if you can't work out how to make money with a power ring then you're probably too stupid to be given one. Green Lanterns need to get paid because the Guardians have very strict rules against Lanterns using power rings for their own ends."
"And you can use your ring for whatever you want?"
"The Corps doesn't place restrictions. There's things I won't do with it. I mean, Sinestro got booted out of the Green Corps for using his ring to take over his homeworld. I wouldn't want to do that."
"So you used your ring to get gold?"
"And platinum. Asteroid mining. Most of the Mars - Jupiter asteroid belt was untouched, so I used the ring to smelt some metal. Maybe half an hour's work for what I've spent in this parallel so far, and I've been overpaying. Actually, that surprised me a bit: how come Martians haven't got involved in asteroid mining?"
"We've never really needed to. And, well, most Martians aren't very interested in leaving the caves."
"Ooh, maybe we need to introduce the rest of Martian society to the joys of Earth television?"
She smiles. "That might just turn them all into couch potatoes."
I'm finding the textures odd, but the food actually tastes quite good. It pretty much falls into my preferred gap in between 'we-call-it-a-kitchen-but-basically-we-just-microwave-stuff' and 'what-do-you-mean-you-don't-like-cheese-and-tomato-ice-cream'. Stuff that you actually enjoy eating.
Now for the tricky bit. "Superboy, how about you?"
He stops eating and looks at me, as if he's surprised that I'm there. "What about me?"
"School. Education. Do you have any plans, or has anyone talked to you about it?"
"No."
"Do you think it might be good to look into?"
"No." I give him what I hope is an encouraging smile. Please say something else..? "I'm a weapon. I know how to hit things. I don't need to learn anything else." He goes back to eating.
Ooooo keeeey….
"But there's so many other things you could learn to do as well!"
Think you're on to a loser there, M'gann.
"I don't-" He swallows. "-need anything else. I don't want anything else."
Well, that's… yeah. Okay. M'gann and I share a look. New topic. Erm…
I should probably eat this before it gets cold. M'gann and I both focus on eating. Superboy's finished, and is glaring moodily at some of the other diners. Or maybe it's a Jason Bourne thing and he's working out potential attack vectors and escape routes?
There is one thing I've been thinking about. "I must admit, I was surprised that Mr J'onzz was prepared to take you in. I didn't think that he and his brother got on."
She looks at me in surprise. "You know uncle Ma'al?"
"By reputation only."
"No, they… Whaw, they really don't get on. My mom is their sister."
"That makes more sense. Any other family?"
"There's my mom and my dad, my brothers and sisters."
"Brothers and sisters? You come from a large family?"
"Not really. Only seventeen boys and thirteen girls. I mean, I've got about three hundred cousins, but it's not really… What?"
I'm gaping. "How many!"
"Why is..? Oh! I suppose by Human standards that is quite big."
"Just a bit, yes."
"What about you? Um, if you don't mind?"
"Both parents still with us, and one sister. Four cousins, if you're wondering."
"I suppose that could be nice. You must be able to remember all their names and birthdays."
One out of two isn't bad. "About the after school thing. Unless you want a normal job for the sake of it, you'd probably be better off finding a unique service you can offer, and charging people for it."
She chews for a moment. "I know there aren't many Human telepaths or shape shifters."
"There you go. Now, what can you do with those things that people will pay you for?"
"Most Humans I've met haven't been very keen on mind reading."
"I used to watch a television series where telepaths were routinely used in business negotiations to ensure that neither party was trying to deceive the other. There isn't a market now, but it's worth thinking about."
"What series was that?"
"Babylon Five. Don't bother looking it up, it doesn't exist here."
She thinks for a moment. "I suppose… Counselling services? I'm not sure I like the idea of going inside damaged minds."
"Not much money in it anyway. But if you can create telepathic suggestions you could offer your services to people trying to stop smoking. Or to stop using harder drugs."
"Mind control?"
"Very limited mind control that they ask for and pay you to perform, and that you can undo whenever they ask."
"I suppose… I don't think I like the idea of doing that sort of thing either."
I shrug. "No problem. Just an idea. How about telepathic illusions?"
"I've been practising, but I'm not that good yet. How about shapeshifting instead?"
"There's modelling. Don't really have any suggestions about that. Acting, but that will require a lot of time. Could work. I think Animal Man works as a stunt double. Money won't be all that great for a while if you're just looking for something to fund your superheroing."
"Well, it isn't as if I have to decide right now."
"True." New topic time. "Why is it that you're choosing to live in the mountain rather than with your uncle?"
"Uncle J'onn isn't around all that much. It was kinda lonely. Plus, I think he prefers being on his own."
"You think us living in a known superhero base is a good idea?"
M'gann looks at Superboy, intentionally giving him a chance to respond, before giving up with a small sigh. "Kid Flash said that we're hiding in plain sight."
"How so?"
"Because… The bad guys know it's a secret superhero base, so they won't look for us there?"
Eh? "That… that really isn't how hiding in plain sight works. A disused base suddenly showing activity draws attention. It would only be hiding in plain sight if there was some other more obvious explanation for it going live again that meant they ignored us."
She smiles. "You think you'll be attacked in your sleep?"
"I'm not worried about that; I sleep wearing a personal force field generator. I'm more worried about what happens if the mountain becomes a tourist attraction like the Hall of Justice. Even if we can cope with an aggressor, random holiday makers would just be hostage fodder."
"Our missions aren't usually going to happen near the mountain. And the Hall of Justice is hardly ever attacked."
"Umm, suppose. Oh, know what I've noticed?"
"What?"
"There's three people here but only two of them are talking. So! Superboy. Had any thoughts on a first name yet?"
He actually seems to think about that one. "No." But the result is the same.
M'gann looks concerned. "You do want one, right?"
He fidgets a little. "Well… Yeah…"
"Given any thought to the sort of name you want? Something Human, something Kryptonian, something that works in both?"
He think about it for a moment. "What… Kryptonian names do you know?"
"Sorry, not many. The male Kryptonian names I remember were all short. Kal, Jor, Dru. I can't even remember what Jor-El's brother was called. I suppose… Er… One of the Greenies might have better records." Not suggesting he ask Superman. Now, do I try to convince him to go for Kon-El/Conner Kent, or just let him do his own thing? Could be awkward if I forget his choice.
"How about Conner?" And M'gann out of absolutely nowhere. She seems strangely enthusiastic.
Superboy looks at me. Why? Oh. Kryptonian authenticity checking. "It works for a Human name, but it's a bit long for Krypton. Maybe if you just used the first syllable?" Might as well… "Maybe if you spelt the Kryptonian version with a K rather than a C?"
He avoids eye contact as he thinks about it. "Kon. El." I'm not sure that he likes it, but he doesn't seem able to come up with a reason to dislike it. And it sounds a bit like Superman's name. "Kon-El. Okay." He actually sounded calm when he said that, without his usual angry or confused tinge. It sounds better. Looks like M'gann's still in to bat for 'Conner'.
"Maybe Conner could be your Earth name. Like I'm using Megan Morse."
"I don't need one."
He'd probably take one if I demonstrated that Superman had a secret identity, but I think that would be tipping my hand a bit much. Another reason, then. "You might want to pretend to be Human at some point. For a reconnaissance mission, or something. It would probably work better if you were used to responding to a Human style name."
He thinks about it, then shrugs. "I guess."
Continuity preserved, or something like it. Time to get back to work. Ring, display list of names. There are no Abigail Arcanes, but there are seven Abigail Cables and two Abigail Hollands. The ring creates a hologram-like screen for M'gann and Superb-. Kon-El. Time to relearn what I already know. The display also has their addresses. "We'll check out the list, then head home. Remember, mid twenties to mid thirties, and she should have white hair with a black streak. If we see her and she starts freaking out, just back away and record the address." I smile. "Kon-El, anything to add?"
He looks blank for a moment, then… Did he just nearly smile? "Maybe… Maybe we shouldn't crowd her. It'll be less intimidating if only one of us speaks to her at a time."
"Good point. And well volunteered."
"What?"
"Abigail Jane Cable is closest." I stand up and turn to the Bio-Ship. The crowd looks bigger than when we arrived, but fortunately they leave a clear space around us. I wave my right hand and an orange staircase appears from the ground to the Bio-Ship's rear hatch. M'gann and Kon follow me up.