The prince's drool formed an already dried puddle on my skirt when we reached the palace. The high reaching towers, the creeping ivy, the ancient look of the palace; those were the only things that remained from the old regime. The flags that flew on the towers had been replaced with another family crest and now, there was a moat in front of the palace.
The familiar feeling I always had when I returned home was no longer there. If the outer appearance of the tower was this different, then I wouldn't be able to recognize most of the interior either.
It was less hard after five years to lessen the stinging pain in my heart. It wasn't that it was any easier to see my home become someone else's, I just had a new resolve to make peace with my past and move on with the future I had chosen for myself.
I was going to make the man who took everything from me pay and to do that, I would gather information in the palace and disarray it from the inside.
The carriage stopped at the west entrance and we alighted. The usually clean west entrance was covered in weeds, making it hard to wade through with a child in my arms and my luggage in the other. In the past, it was where I stayed and it always looked so kept and clean.
Did they fall into a decline? I thought the new regime was better.
Keeping my curiosity, I finally arrived in my old room. The beige walls were painted over with blue and all my collection of flower pots were missing. It had been turned into a nursery with toys scattered around and an old cot in the middle, barely standing.
It was my sister's old cot, placed in the cellar. Even the old toys were all hers and the only thing new about the things he owned was his clothes. He struggled to descend from my arms and ran towards a particular toy. It was a stuffed koi whose originally orange stripes had faded to brown.
"Ellie. Ellie, look, look."
He gave me a toothy grin and waved it in front of me. The toy was also... Celia's favorite.
"Ellie! Ellie! I want that!"
"I never knew you liked fish. Bring me one mister."
"Thank you Ellie!"
"Of course. Anything for you, Celia."
My eyelids burned as I restrained myself. I bent to collect the toy from him and pat his head. There was no way I could indulge myself in nostalgia when he was in front of me and his room was like that. It wasn't a room fit for any child, nevertheless a prince.
The first thing to do was clear the room. I could see cobwebs hanging at the corners of the ceilings and a hole that needed to be patched. Most of the toys were dirty and as a child, he was sure to put them in his mouth.
"Ellie. Ellie, let's play."
"I'm coming, your highness. I need to clean this up."
"No! Let's play."
"Hmmm... How about you help me clean this up and we play after?"
"Okay!"
I didn't expect him to agree. He could be agreeable if he wanted to, I concluded. We spent the next few hours cleaning the room together. It wasn't perfect but it was better than when I first arrived.
"Ellie. Ellie. Play!"
"Alright your highness, we'll play now."
Picking him up, I hear his stomach rumble. He's still smiling, waiting for me to play with him.
Aren't you hungry?
"Let's go get something to eat, Prince Miyon."
"No! Let's play!"
"We can't play when you're this hungry. We'll eat then we play."
"B-But I can't eat!"
"...What?"
"Let's play! Let's play!"
"Your highness, be good now."
He finally stopped fiddling around and resigned to pouting. No matter how cute he was, I wasn't going to let him starve. Walking out of the room,I hoped the kitchen would still be in the place I remembered. Normally, food would've been delivered to the room but I had been there for hours and not one person had come to give us anything.
It was strange.
Hot air fanned my face, accompanied by the smell of baked goods. The kitchen was a buzz of activity dizzying to watch. The prince's eyes were wide with excitement but no matter how hungry we were, it was difficult to stop someone and ask for our meal.
I managed to drag one of the servants aside and the impatience in his eyes made me anxious.
"I'm sorry but I'm the little prince's new maid. We were wondering why our food hadn't been delivered yet."
"Oh, you're new." Disdainful eyes flickered to the child and back to me.
"The basta- the prince's maid usually comes to receive his meal. We're almost done making lunch but if he's that hungry, you can scrunch up something from the side there."
He pointed to a part of the kitchen that was desolate despite the rush. There were a few pieces of bread there, definitely cooled and hard. There was also nothing to eat it with. The prince couldn't eat that.
"...Can we wait?"
"Suit yourself."
He spared us no extra seconds, returning to his station. I looked at the prince and he still had an excited look on his face. It was almost like he was used to this. Was this really how a prince was treated?
Back when my family still ruled the palace, the kitchen staff were nice and on time. Not one member of the royal family was sidelined, even the meanest and pickiest ones, like Celia.
"No! I don't like mushrooms."
"Your highness..."
"Leave it with me, I'll make sure she eats it."
"Thank you so much, Princess Ariana."
The kitchen staff always looked like ten years had been shaved off their life when they had to serve my sister. Carrion just ate everything he was given. It was how he grew to be so big. The kitchen staff in the present regime were all different and it looked like the old ones were killed in the palace massacre.
Life was so good then.
It was a long time before we were finally given lunch. It was always close to evening and they weren't even proper meals. Just soup with a few chunks of liver and three small servings of rice. I could understand if a servant ate this but a prince...
He gobbled everything down, looking disappointed that it was finished. When I offered him my portion, he shook his head, pushing it back to me. When I offered it again, he looked like he was about to cry.
Such a sensitive and sweet child, just why was he hated so much?