Mrs Marsh and I stood together behind a bush and waited, our eyes fixed on the garbage can. Come out, little imp. Get the nice kitty cat.
After a few seconds, I thought I spied some movement behind the garbage can, then a clammy chill ran up my arms. I looked down as Mrs Marsh yelped, only to see the wispy trail of an imp dart out from between my legs.
"Motherfucker!" I yelled.
Tricked again. For a brief moment, I pitied the people on Paranormal Patrol. I ran after the imp, rounding the corner of the house with as much speed as I could manage wearing flip-flops.
Tiddlywinks was in a compromising position, with one leg up in the air, paused midlick. His ears were cocked in my direction as I ran toward him at top speed.
Then I realized the imp was stopping in front of the cat. He wasn't going to bail; he took the bait.
I slid across the damp grass. To avoid running into the imp and the cat, I half fell, and half lunged near them in an awkward dive. I tried to pull an action-movie stunt roll. Big mistake. My upper arm hit the edge of the cement patio. As
I cried out in pain, the caduceus flew from my hand and landed somewhere in the shadows. Smooth move.
I curled up into a ball on my side. When I glanced toward my feet, I was surprised to find Tiddlywinks still there, ears flattened and the hair on his back standing on end.
The imp was circling the cat-like prey. Only a couple of feet tall and mostly transparent, he was tubby, with rolls on his arms and legs like a pudgy baby. He had a bulbous nose and floppy ears, one of them torn, as Mrs Marsh had noted.
Ignoring the pain in my arm, I reached for the canvas entrapment portal, grabbed the edge of it, and slung it over the imp. And the cat. I couldn't help it; he was in the way.
Without time to find the caduceus, I'd have to release the kindled Heka without a filter. The danger of electrical shock wasn't in the pull as much as the release.
As long as I had the caduceus to even things out, the release was relatively painless. Without it, I risked burning myself up from the inside out.
I quickly tapped into the current from Mrs Marsh's house. Too fast. The raw surge of electricity mixed erratically with my inner Heka; my body stiffened and began shaking.
Ever been shocked by an electrical current? I mean, shocked, as in a jolt up the arm, can't let go, can't breathe, life flashing before your eyes kind of shock? Not something most people would want to willingly do.
You have to be a little crazy to practice hard-core magic: It's not for the weak. The only thing in my favour was the high electric resistance that Heka-rich bodies tend to possess. Current flows differently in me.
But not so differently that I was indestructible.
At this point, all I could do was release the Heka, but it wouldn't be pretty. I gathered all my willpower, flung myself up and over toward the imp, and muttered the entrapment spell as my hand came down on the canvas and released the energy.
My teeth clattered as the kindled charge left my body, hit the canvas, and exploded into a small fire.
"Shit!"
A muffled howl came from underneath the burning canvas as Tiddlywinks shot out and sped off toward the front yard. Before the entrapment portal could burn away, I said one more spell and banished the imp back into the Porphyr.
"Tiddlywinks!" Mrs Marsh yelled as she ran after her cat.
I leapt over to the canvas, removed one flip-flop, and used it to beat the fire down.
It took several slaps to extinguish. Putrid-smelling smoke trailed up into the air from the blackened hole in the middle of the cloth. Smoked pig's blood. Disgusting.
As I slid back on my soot-smeared shoe, Mrs Marsh appeared with Tiddlywinks in tow.
"Guess you'll have to make another circle, sweetie," she said as we both looked down at the smoking cloth.
"But at least I'll be able to sleep tonight."
And at least I wasn't wasting my magical talent on supernatural pest control. Oh, wait—I was. I found my caduceus in the grass and stalked off toward my house, one charred corner of the barbecued canvas dangling between the tips of my fingers.
Exhaustion set in as I locked my side door. On the way upstairs to my bedroom, I gathered up my pet, Mr Piggy, a rescued hedgehog. Not much bigger than my hand, Mr Piggy is a cute thing with a petite pink nose and dark, beady eyes.
I scratched him on the underside of his little pointy chin and he yawned. At times he can be downright grumpy, but as far as roommates go, he's a pretty good one.
Sleep. That was what I needed. Once I got to my bedroom, I manoeuvred my bra from underneath my shirt, dropped it on the floor, and ditched my jeans before crawling under the bedcovers.
The small, sagging mattress felt like heaven. Mr Piggy huffed and puffed as he climbed the set of pet stairs that I kept at the foot of the bed; he waddled across the covers and stopped when he found an acceptable spot to settle near my feet.
Then he turned three slow circles before finally plopping down.
My hair stunk of smoky pig's blood, but I didn't have the strength to care. At that moment I just needed rest; I figured I'd wash off the funk when I woke up.
I drowsily made plans for the next day. First I'd contact Father Carrow and ask him to put some pressure on Kyle for me.
Then maybe I'd call Lee Chan to arrange for a part-time bartender to take a couple of my shifts. My thoughts roamed and faded.
Just when I was at the cusp of succumbing to the heavy pull of sleep, a loud knock sounded from downstairs.
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
No way on God's green earth was I getting out of bed to run after another damned imp for that woman.