Chereads / Victim of Circumstance: Rising Plum Blossom / Chapter 19 - 99: Familiar Dereliction

Chapter 19 - 99: Familiar Dereliction

Mizuki feels a change in Tsukiyomi's body as she cries into the crook of his neck within the violet patch; collecting herself to investigate the sensational difference happening against her, Mizuki glances at his face with tear filled eyes and enlivened skin. 

Witnessing every infection of Ryu's power over the moon god's flesh complete its recession, she gazes upon the original form of a pure Tsukiyomi. With sky blue hair and platinum sapphire eyes framing his beauty with an ethereal glow in the night, she's as mesmerized now as she was the first time she opened her eyes to His. 

Frozen in awe by his statuesque emotionlessness, the creeping fear of what's to come suddenly ceases its nail-biting crawl up her spine. Feeling his warm embrace tighten ever so slightly, she senses no amount of danger or rage emanating from him.

Searching Tsukiyomi's face for any essence of Ryu and his power, she detects no residual energy of the dragon. Conflicted by the joy and guilt flooding her spirit, confused by her beloved emperor's disappearing act, the bear's heart nearly stops.

Feeling the blanketing warmth of his clawless, human hand cupping her tear stained cheek, Mizuki bites her bottom lip to withhold a confessing wail of disorganized thought. Parting her lips with a quiver, "I–," she falls silent.

Unsure of where to begin, an uplifting relief begins to relax her volley of expressions the longer he silently stares into her eyes. Stroking the apple of her cheek with his thumb, "You are as you were meant to be." 

The pace of her breaths stall on his divine wisdom, "With the power to be better or worse in your own hands." 

Gasping weakly to regain control of her breathing, the power of His knowledge forms micro-fractures throughout her rapidly beating heart, "Do you enjoy the shadows that much more than the light?"

Learning the well of her tears has yet run dry, violet eyes overflow the longer his question anchors her heart into her stomach. 

Nestling her cheek against his collarbone, she inhales his scent of spring rainfall and moonlight. Muttering, "All I've ever known is darkness," her hand rests over his calmly beating heart. 

"Whenever I get close to the light," sniffling while marveling at the buttery softness of bare, warm skin no longer tarnished by the sight of iridescent scales, "It burns me."

Resisting the urge to feel every part of Him the way that she could Ryu, Mizuki slides her lower body from his lap and knees the cool earth. Diving to wrap her arms around his waist, she clutches the muscles of his lower back. Feeling her breasts press into his groin, gaining no response from his flesh, "Doesn't everyone snuff out or run from the things that hurt them?"

Petting tenderly from the top of her head to the base of her neck, "The light has never hurt you, little one." 

His hand slides to the middle of her upper back then rests still. Feeling a weight lifted from her heart through her back as her mind fills with pain, anger, and shame, "Only forced you to look upon a self no longer shrouded in darkness."

Mizuki's hold on Tsukiyomi tightens with a shake, then weakens slightly.

"None are immune to a loud mind amidst silent shadows," hunching to get closer to her, "For only One was born of it." 

Holding her tighter to his body, "And They made it so we must overcome the same. The Self."

Sneering, "I don't understand!" 

Contemplating shoving him to run away, she reconsiders then hugging him tighter, "If whatever created us gave a damn about us, you wouldn't be stuck with Ryu and I wouldn't've been–. . ." 

Charged with inner conflict over all that he makes her feel and think about, her body tries to pull away yet her hands clamp down around her wrists behind his back to stay put, "Places like that wouldn't be a thing." 

Closing her heart from Tsukiyomi as she reflects on her suffocating, ever-present past on the words of those whispering around her, "Creatures like that wouldn't be in this realm unless the Thing that made us wanted us to suffer."

Placing his hands on her shoulders, "Every One suffers when we suffer," he drags out his monotone exaggeration while guiding her from around his waist. 

Cautious as to why they must separate, Mizuki sits upright to look in his eyes. 

"And your life would have killed a weaker man."

The reassurance of his acknowledging words sends a jolt through her body; making her breathing top priority, the yokai prevents breaking down in the presence of a banished god she betrayed.

Wanting to push him away and hold him tight at the same time, Mizuki's voice fills with annoyance, "It's killing me now.

Crossing her arms under her breasts, "And I'm not a man," proudly lifting her chin, "They poison the very fruit that feeds them, though. . ." 

Re-examining herself until her chin tucks into her shoulder, "I get reminded how being infertile makes me less than a woman."

Clenching her jaw, readying to flee, "Even though I look like this," she gestures to her body annoyed.

The gentle kiss of Tsukiyomi's hand cupping her flushed cheek keeps Mizuki in place, she wearily confesses, "I don't feel like a woman."

Placing her clawed hand on top of his as she refuses to allow another tear to fall over the pitiful situation she created for herself, "That drives you to desire death at every disturbance?"

His question makes her mouth go dry. 

Pulling his hand from her face, each internal negative emotion that pervades her is disarmed the moment her eyes lock onto his silver blue irises.

Lowering her lids halfway, "You can't tell me you never wished you were dead."

Looking up into starlit darkness, "Begged the sky," then scanning the earth around them, "Or the shadows for it?"

Prudently examining his emotionless face, "After everything that's happened to You?"

Clasping both her hands around his, "For over three times my life and more, you've been stuck with the most infamous yokai of all time." 

Giving his hand a gentle squeeze when his hand relaxes between hers, "For at least fifty years your body has not been your own most nights."

Shutting his eyes slowly, "All I have ever known and loved, as above and here below," they reopen languidly, "Has suffered." 

Fully opening his eyes while finishing, "Some less than I, some even greater," clouds that block out the crescent moon's light shift in time to shine on his eyes and skin. 

Reminding the bear demoness of his birthright, the tiny sliver of light casting over them douses Tsukiyomi with an otherworldly, shimmering glow, "And knowing the One shares all our trauma, we know our pain serves a purpose that They trusted only to us so a bridge may form where there once was none."

Flaring her nostrils with elongating fangs, "Don't You give me that shit," her upper lip twitches, "Why should I give fucking FUCK?!"

Throwing his hand from hers to talk with her hands, "Why should I give a fuck about serving the purpose of something that watched EVERYTHING as it happened to me and did nothing?!"

Snarling as a twisted bear muzzle begins to obstruct her mortal form's face, Tsukiyomi's voice entering her ears neutralizes the enraged transformation.

"You were reborn from that past life long ago. I remain trapped within mine."

Watching her fume from his simplicity with flickering red eyes, Mizuki freezes when Tsukiyomi unexpectedly closes in to kiss her forehead. Whispering, "Should this form survive to gain a new life, I hope to thank every reason that saved me along the way before no one is left."

Holding her into his body as they kneel together in the violets, "Existence holds death as inevitable as life, in one form or another. Even in Takamagahara, pleasure did not exist without pain."

Burying his face into her hair, breathing in the scent of amber and sandalwood, "For as long as I can remember, the pleasure this flesh was forced to receive has caused only pain."

Brushing his cheek against hers to speak into the core of her bodily vessel, "A pain I would endure again, if it meant none other would carry this burden in my place." 

Screaming in his face, "I'm not like You!"

Tsukiyomi's even-toned voice remains cool and neutral, "There was a time when you tried to be."

Continuing as she parts from his loving embrace, "When you relied on me. Sought after my heart." 

Ashamed, hugging herself, "I was fooling myself into thinking if I became like you. . ."

Swallowing hard, her voice cracks, "That you'd want me in the ways I wanted you."

Raking her teeth over her bottom lip and sultrily presenting her chest to him, "I didn't have to pretend to be anything for Ryu." 

Batting her eyelashes before looking away, she drops open her fan to hide the bottom half of her face. 

Delicately placing his fingertips on her knuckles, "Had you not tried to be what you thought he wanted, Sanemaru would still be here."

Aghast, offended, wounded by the blunt force of his words, Mizuki snaps the fan shut. Pointing the wooden accessory in his face, "Shut your disgusting, fucking mouth!" 

Breaking the fan in half, "You don't have any idea what you're talking about!"

Throwing the pieces at him, she watches one half hit his cheek, and the other his chest. Tsukiyomi remains disinterested , immobile, and unscathed. 

Hesitating to touch his cheek where she wonders if a bruise will surface, "That's not–." 

Clutching the air helplessly instead, "I'm not–!" 

Grabbing at her open dress to wrap it tight around her body, shielding her nakedness that he ignores entirely, "I didn't mean to. . ." 

Stunned to see him remain unphased and unshaken by her outburst. Tsukiyomi pierces her soul with his refreshingly apathetic tone, "Then stop allowing the hand of others to lead your hands into harm."

Feeling new weight slamming down onto her chest, Mizuki grips the fabric crossing over her heart and hefty bosom, "You don't understand." 

Stomach acid rises into her throat and she swallows it back down, "Someone like You could never understand."

Shaking her head, accusing him of misunderstanding everything because they are different, "You make everything sound so simple when it's all so damn complicated!"

Driving the spear of truth deeper into her gaping, emotional wound with his truthful yet insensitive words, "A mind shaped by oppression struggles to understand simple things."

Running dull-nailed fingers through silky blue locks cascading down the left side of his body, "A life of servitude breeds slaves, not the individuality to rule thyself."

Dejected and offended by how plainly he can tear her apart without sympathy, "I can't believe I fell in love with you!"

Growling like a bear, "You miserable excuse for a god! You're nothing like the Tsukiyomi I remember!"

Disregarding the temper rising in front of him, the banished moon god carries on as usual, "Speaking truths in pretty words to soften blows weakens the prospect of change. I have been, and will always be, the same Tsukiyomi you remember loving."

Shutting his eyes to her, "You know that is why you are so angry." 

Balling her fists, a neon purple light shines around her knuckles as she readies for a fight. 

Keeping his eyes shut, sensing impending doom should he remain where he is, "I will neither defend nor attack."

Crossing his legs in the violets and resting folded hands into his lap, "You are free to destroy me as you destroy what reminds you." Opening himself up to her like a sitting duck, "Of a life with more than pain and loneliness in reach." 

Ready to strike with raised bear claws, Ryu immediately regains control over Tsukiyomi's body; covered in scales with blaring red eyes, taloned claws mercilessly grabs her wrists and twists until she cancels her true form's reveal.

Wincing, both aroused and frightened as she hopes Ryu will finally finish her, she's crestfallen when Ryu looks off to the side with an amused, fangy smirk, "He's got bigger balls than a Daidarabotchi."

Jerking Mizuki towards him to inspect her face, jarring her bouncy breasts to collide with his compelling, scale-infected pectorals, "Must everyone that tries to save you join the steed?"