"Do you enjoy being mortal?" the slight tilt of Izanagi no Mikoto's head makes the glittering avian fly away.
Stunned when he suddenly changes the subject, What? Seriously. . .?
"Why would I?" blinking dumbly as she processes his question, the truth flies forth without restraint, "I'm constantly reminded of how weak and pathetic I am. Other humans slaughtered my friends and family because we couldn't protect ourselves. My life is in the hands of a moon god cursed to dwell on earth while an evil dragon-demon consumes him from the inside out while plotting to destroy everything that's worth something. . ."
Recounting events from just the most recent days of her life, she places a hand over her heart, "And. . .my life aside, even if humans aren't murdered, we die from illness or injury or starvation. I wish I were different. . ."
Sighing heavily, finding it hard to look upon the face of her creator as she discusses her grievances, "As much as I used to wish I was different from the bullying and how hard I worked to get people to like me so I wasn't left out of everything. . .after learning so much about things that I thought weren't even real. . .I feel like there's no point in living unless I make myself want to live for someone else."
Confessing these thoughts to the glorious Izanagi no Mikoto lifts a burdened weight from her chest, as she feels no shame or embarrassment for answering his question honestly. Realizing what she had done, Umeko raises her hands ready to defend herself, only to see a serene smile curve his lips.
"Thank you for your honesty," he pats the top of her head once and peace washes over her.
Turning his back to the girl as he fixates on the sky's steadiness, "I have long thought of becoming mortal myself."
Dropping her jaw, ready to interrogate the celestial being, she stays quiet when he glances at her from over his shoulder, "Eternity gets. . .old. After a while."
Chuckling quietly to himself, Umeko finds herself drifting closer to his side.
"I believe in my son," Izanagi nods once in confidence, "And when he regains his place here, in Takamagahara, it will then be my time to spend the rest of a lifetime as a human."
Placing his right hand on Umeko's shoulder, the gentle warmth of his almost glowing flesh warms her down into the pit of her stomach like a filling, hot meal.
"It's a funny existence, when immortals seek to become mortal and mortals seek to become like the ones that made them. A painful joke," he chuckles softly.
With a voice that never falters from a radiating calm, "As I have longed to be reborn with my beloved Izanami for a fresh start," Izanagi locks eyes with the attentive Umeko, "During a time that wouldn't destroy the cosmos by the hand of our selfish desires."
Beginning to question the god, "But. . ."
Umeko glances away then stares up into his eyes for permission. After receiving a reassuring nod to continue, she skeptically raises an eyebrow, "My Lord, why would you of all people want to be human?"
Raising an eyebrow in response, "Have you never wondered the benefits that would seemingly be yours had you been born immortal?"
Izanagi touches the side of his chin with his index finger and the slight tilt of his head before straightening, "Many of your kind long for death when in suffering, not unlike your current reality. Certain emotions drive a person to cling to life with everything they have. To barter with everything they have. Having something or someone to live for allows your kind to make the decision of whether something is worth dying for."
Reflective eyelids lower halfway as Izanagi's golden gaze drifts to a glowing, blue butterfly passing between them, "I am ineligible to act on such longings, due to my rank in immortality. Though my suffering is no smaller than any mortals, as my better half fell from me during childbirth. . ."
"Losing not only my wife, but our final child was swept away to another realm as well," though his soothing tone never falters, Umeko can feel the sadness and hopelessness she's sure the great creator experienced in those uncertain moments.
"The Divine Source of All Creation entrusted us to endure such pain and separation, as only someone as great as her could survive labor during the Great Split. Even falling into Yomi no Kuni wasn't enough to end her life."
Picturing the events in her head as he speaks, "I followed the essence of her life-force through the newly created realms in search of her. Between the realms of shadow and sound, I was forced to kill our new son. Born of the fires of destruction, in a place he could not survive on his own without causing another split in time, these hands that were made to create were moved to spare him a restless path of untamed destruction."
Izanagi's voice lowers to a tender whisper, "And after all that, in the time it took to finally recover my bride in hopes of spawning new children in places they could thrive," shaking his head 'no' once, "The Underworld had managed to poison my beautiful goddess into a fearsome creature bound as a queen to one of the lowest realms."
Seeing his chest expand from a languidly deep inhale, the breath of Izanagi's exhale creates a gentle breeze around them, "Even the gods were created to serve in alignment with the Divine Alliance and laws that cannot be deviated from. There is no pain that exists in your realm that did not first exist in ours."
Placing his hand on Umeko's upper back as they glance from one another to the crisp, blue sky, "That is why a mortal existence looks so appealing. We would be free to be nobodies. Free to make our own choices. Free to make our own mistakes. The illusion of a short reprieve would be enough to sustain us until the end of time. As a man, I would have chosen a lie with her in the Underworld. But because I am a god, I did what was expected of me. Entrusted to me by the One. I fulfilled my duty to maintain the balance."
A tear falls from Umeko's left eye, painting a streak down her cheek, "I'm sorry. I had no idea how hard you all had it up here. . .it always felt like I was being looked down upon, and judged. I never thought you all were judged as well."
Umeko freezes when the large hand of her creator cups her cheek in his hand, wiping away the tear that has fallen for him and his love, "You're progressing faster than I anticipated. Not all of those with free-will follow the path created for them. I knew we would meet in the future, but not now, for the purpose of my son's well-being."
Kissing the top of her head, he then turns to walk toward his palace. Umeko follows behind like a lost puppy. Speaking to the back of his head, "Is it a bad sign that I'm here early?"
Silence.
"Why do we meet in the future if this wasn't part of your plan?"
Silence.
"Did I mess things up by coming here?"
Silence.
Recognizing she may never get her questions answered, she realizes they're already staring at the altar he first appeared on.
In the most soothing whisper she's ever heard, "All will be revealed when the time has come, my Plum Blossom Child. Hold steady your worries."
Everything around her begins to ripple and fade, including the great Izanagi no Mikoto himself.
"And tell your struggling horse-friend that energy from rage, fear, and joy are satiating choices."
Just as things dissolve completely, she hears the final gentle breeze of his voice within the heart beating inside her chest, "I believe in you, too, Umeko."
I'm even more confused now than I did when I first got here! At least now I know that Izanagi-no-Mikoto knows about Lord Tsukiyomi's problem. I can't believe Sane was right. . .he's not gonna do anything.
Umeko adjusts to her change of surroundings.
Blurry vision blinks into clarity when she discovers she's inside the small hut that stands in the center of Izanagi shrine. There is a tiny altar in front of her with burning fragrances on opposite sides.
Shaking her head, wondering briefly if any of that could've been a detailed hallucination, she can't believe Sanemaru missed out on everything.
Exiting the shrine, calling out to Sanemaru on her approach to the stairs, Why isn't he responding? He has super hearing!
"Oh no," she gasps, covering her mouth with both hands.
Did the shrine purify him? Is that what he meant by 'struggling friend'?
Making her way to the crest of the stairs, she spots Sanemaru sprawled out on the last few steps.
Quieting a scream with a gasp, "No!"
Rushing down the stone and collapsing beside him, she nudges the horse demon in the chest while praying to Kami (god) he is okay.
A loud snore exits his mouth.
Enraged that she was so worried over nothing, she hits him.
Hard.
Glaring at him, "You're so lazy! I thought you were purified by the shrine," she kind of calms down when she sees distress written on his features.
"Umeko. . .?"
Blinking awake with a yawn, "You're back?!"
Sitting up to hold her tight enough to nearly suffocate her, "Where did you go?!"
Pulling his friend into his lap, "You were gone for FIVE days! Your scent disappeared out of nowhere, so I stayed put. I thought my heart was going to stop. I didn't know what else to do or think!"
Sanemaru nearly tears up, burying his face in her shoulder until she hears his stomach growl for the first time since they've met.
"Five days. . .? How could I--? That's not possible. . ."
Tilting her head, holding his face to stare into worried, gray clouds, "And you waited for me? Out here? On the ground? Starving?"
Sighing in a heartfelt, disbelief, "Sane. . ."
Umeko wraps her arms around the back of his neck, embracing him tightly as he holds her close in his lap.
Why couldn't I have fallen for you instead?
"Well, not entirely starving. . ."
Raising an eyebrow in the crook of his neck, she lifts her head to inspect his face, "What do you mean?"
Arching his eyebrows high in reflection as storm gray eyes search the blue sky, "Let's just say I tried something new with a stray horse to feed off its energy, while in my true form," he reiterates and Umeko grows uncomfortable the longer he speaks.
"And I must admit. . ."
Shaking his head with a shameful sigh, "I never thought I'd fall so low. I came from such greatness that I never knew what it felt like to be desperate. . .until last night."
Umeko sucks her lips in against her teeth to remain silent as Sanemaru divulges his newest encounter.
"But she just appeared, out of thin air, so part of me thinks she was a figment of my imagination. After all, it's been a REALLY long time since my stomach growled in this form."
Scratching her head with a deep breath, reminding herself to stay calm, the abrupt SNAP of her fingers makes some animals hurry away.
Is Izanagi no Mikoto trying to guide this filthy freak to a better place?
"That's why Lord Izanagi said," she closes her eyes and tries to mimic his inviting voice, "And tell your struggling friend out there that energy from rage, fear, and joy are satiating choices?"
Sanemaru blinks plainly before bursting out in laughter.
Examining the steed's reaction confused, "What's gotten into you?"
Wiping away a tear of laughter, "Looking back, when Ol' Blue said my ancestors used to feed off energy, I guess I thought sex energy was the most fun and potent thing that a ton of people dream about or want to dream about."
Red lightning breaks through his eyes, "I never thought of bouncing my prey through all of those emotions within a dream! I'll get so full so fast. . ."
Slapping his shoulder, "I don't think that's what the Lord meant! I think you could use any energy but sex."
Nodding slowly until he seems sure of himself, "But," he pats her shoulder gently then cups it.
"If you had a dream that started out like you woke up and just had a super good day and it feels real, then you end up in a situation that's absolutely horrifying yet oddly sexual and enticing, then you get angry and do whatever it takes to save yourself. Wouldn't you feel empowered walking out of all that?"
Petting the top of her head, "All emotions I can feed off of!" he slaps his knee excitedly.
"Oh jeez," she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, "You're hopeless."
Turning her back to him while starting down the stairs, she throws her arms up, "Going from the 'Prince of Dreams' to the 'King of Nightmares'."
Laughing quietly to herself, "Don't you know by now that most people will wake up out of fear or anger or disgust that they never get to discover the happy ending? And what if they do nothing because they like it? Or want to suffer? Or die in the dream so they die in waking life?"
Umeko's face scrunches in uncomfortable repulsion when she witnesses Sanemaru lick his lips then smirk. Dastardly rubbing his hands together, "All you're describing is the perfect energetic buffet."
Roughly climbing out of his lap to get away from him, further down the stairs, I don't know why I'm wasting my time arguing with a demon.
Sanemaru's voice gets louder as he catches up to her without the use of his hyper speed, "Where are you in such a hurry to get to?"
Umeko balls her fist in front of her chest, "Back home to the mountain," determined to make a difference.
"What?" he snatches her arm to stop her descent, "The whole point of coming here was to see if he would help. If he's not about to, we need to run away. FAR away."
Begging her with his eyes to agree with him, Umeko simply places her hand on top of his. Leading the venous hand to relax away from wrinkling fabric, "Since when does running away from the things we're scared of make us better people?"
"Since running away keeps us alive," he raises his eyebrow, scrutinizing her, "Who the fuck said we'd choose death for trying to be a better person when the smart person could run and live to see another day? That's the only way you create more days with the chance to become a better person."
"HA!" Umeko laughs in his face then reels back to cover her mouth, embarrassed.
"Sorry," chuckling quietly, "I've just never heard anything so ridiculous. Is that really how you live your life?"
Offended, Sanemaru's eyebrows and ears lower defensively, "I don't laugh at the way your weak little human self is always so willing to throw away the precious little time you have. I've been around almost three times as long as Mizuki and if I had the power to ensure I live double that, and even longer, I'd kill for it. I'd steal for it. I'd lie for it. I'd war for it."
Hugging himself, "I love everything about who and what I am."
Mumbling slightly, "And every day I try not to backslide into the monster I used to be."
Cupping her shoulders to look into her eyes, "Doesn't that mean I deserve to live more than most of the truly evil people that His father allowed to exist in the world?"
Speechless, Umeko's blank face has only blinking eyes that signal she's present.
"How can humans not think like that?" he taps her forehead with his.
Searching her soul for answers as her deadpan demeanor conflicts Sanemaru, "Too many of your kind are super willing to throw their lives away on battles that could've been avoided."
After a long, awkward silence, Umeko eventually admits, "You're right, I shouldn't've laughed and I'm sorry."
Cupping his shoulders while speaking into his soul through his eyes for the first time, "But there isn't a single human out there that sees fighting in a battle they believe in as just "throwing their life away." It's a sacrifice. To do something in a moment that others before you or after you may never get to. And you know, in that moment, whatever you do, no matter how small, it matters."
Sanemaru's ears lower to the sides of his head as he listens.
Tapping the tip of his nose with a smile, "The same way your kind fights to get to the top, there's humans that fight so their families don't have to die for the same reasons. I don't know if demons could understand, but there's countless humans, people like me that. . ."
Pausing to stop her voice from shaking, "Me, I'm faced with the unavoidable choice to stand up for something greater than myself to make things better for others. I don't want what happened to me to happen to anyone else. And if I do nothing, knowing that stronger people than me would have done something, then I'll always look back knowing I did nothing. And that same inaction would let things get worse. Even if someone else comes along to make it better, I'd know things could've been better sooner if I did what I should've done when the time called for it. . ."
Seeing the wheels turning inside Sanemaru's head as he listens, Umeko wonders if she's still making sense. Grumbling with herself for going on a tangent, she rubs her temples.
"To put it simply," she exhales and grabs his large biceps, "Nothing a human does is a waste if it means they can save someone. And the only way I know how to save Lord Tsukiyomi is by being at his side."
Neighing disgruntled, "Don't you get it?"
Sanemaru grabs her wrist and pulls her into his arms, "He sent you away because being with him is too dangerous for you. That's why I'm putting my dick on the line, killing my own kind, to protect you for the Lord I serve since he cannot."
Letting her go to tilt her chin up, "And you just want to willingly go and hand us over to the bad guys?"
Knocking on the top of her head, "Helllooooo? Is this thing working?"
Umeko shoves him away, "I can't help it! Everything in me is telling me to go back! If I ignore it then even worse things might happen."
The girl's eyes crest with tears and Sanemaru immediately comforts her, "I'm sorry. Alright. Even though I vote we start a life as farmers living out our days as far from Ryu's war as possible. . ."
Pressing his cheek to hers while holding her hands, "Disguising ourselves as a married couple," his tone holds a severity as he muses with his face hidden from her.
"Sane," she pauses, studying his face carefully, "We can't abandon our friends. You all are the only family I have left."
"Yeah. . .I know. You didn't let me finish," he smiles toothily, "I was going to say that."
Kissing the side of her head, "It's not like they'll be the death of me."
Standing tall, he stretches out POPPING and CRACKING arms and back, "Since I'm going out on a twig for your gut feeling, can you tell me what He was like? Y'know, and what He said?"
She details the entire experience as Sanemaru intently absorbs her story, "And! He told me that Lord Tsukiyomi has to suffer through this to prove himself. He believes in Tsukiyomi, and I do too."
Chewing her bottom lip, "I know in my bones if we're there to support Tsukiyomi-sama, there's no way Ryu can win. The dragon's in his head, putting him down, and telling him evil plans."
Umeko speaks openly, watching the horse demon bend over to touch his toes, "That alone could be enough to make anyone want to give up."
"I think you're under-estimating how Lord Tsukiyomi is incredibly old and wise. I doubt Ryu's words have that strong an effect on him. But, I agree we should help him stay strong in his fight. If Tsukiyomi-sama fails, all the world is at stake—no. . ."
It dawns on him, "All the realms."
Sanemaru immediately jumps and transforms into a horse midair and lands at the bottom of the stairs. Umeko runs down the remaining steps to jump onto his back.
Gripping his mane in one hand, the girl is startled when words leave Sanemaru's horse mouth in his true form, "Let's not waste another moment."
Screaming, "You can talk like that?!" Umeko nearly falls off his back.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be able to talk like this?"
Murmuring, "That's strange," Sanemaru sluggishly hovers into the air while surveying the area.
"What is it?" she asks, but he pays her no mind.
Zipping off to return to Tsukiyomi's mountain palace, Sanemaru can't shake the unmistakable feeling that the energy of an upper level yokai was near the shrine with the presence of some kind of spirit.
Second-guessing himself, as it makes no sense for any yokai to be near Izanagi's shrine, the steed flies the prefecture they know as home.