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Chapter 2 - Humour Me

The morning had misled my emotions. I woke up feeling superb as l kick the blanket a side. The tick of my watch could easy warn me of the normal routine I was to take on that day. I lazily rose from the warm duvet that had been of comfort. I could smell the acidic air that neighbour my nostrils as I tried to brush it away, I remembered the previous night that Mr. G had prepared to be the moment of the year if not of the second as it was. It kind of reminded me of the long gone days when I first invented my prowess in that sector. I waited with pleasure to mark it as a day of worth. I crept out of my bed or Our bed to be precise as I recalled the work ahead and how to pay back for the cosy night we had. I first switched on the TV which still I didn't know how to operate well as a search for the radio station since that was the only thing I could listen to while making everything in place.I began my mission by spreading the bed as I smell the romance in each bedding as I try to make the new ones so that Mr. G could know that cleanliness too was part of my job in the house. As I hummed from the radio stations choices of song, something strike my attention. There was a footstep. I stopped to listen as my curiosity drew the better part of me. The footstep ceased at the front door and the other person waited too to listen. I could hear my heartbeat pumping at high pulse rate.

I hurriedly applied my make up as I did want Mr. G to smell my odour of sanctity from last night. I quickly took my gargling fluid because I knew I wouldn't miss a passionate kiss from him. I remembered the headgear that fitted my head as harness as that which fits on a house's head and quickly removed it until I almost remove my weave in the process. I picked my pocket mirror to ensure that the night waves that always form on the mouth weren't there to complicate the passion. My shreddies were nowhere to be seen but since I knew the next step, I didn't bother to look for them for it would have made the process longer.

I keenly diminished the volume to ensure my endeavour didn't go in vain. I could feel his breath still or perhaps I longest for it. I demurred to bolt the door before I could pause to inspect myself in the magnificent wardrop mirror that was opposite the queen's bed. For sure, I confirmed that if beauty would make him sweat then that was the time for my magics to work on him.

On my way to the parlour, I knocked a bottle of red wine and as I bend to collect it. It brought back the dream I had the night before.

'Wake up! You Scoundrel,' I vividly heard an alluring voice shouting at me.

'What are you doing in my man's attire? She rekindle. Connecting the euphonious voice I had heard on the phone when I easedrop on one of the Mr.G's numerous calls. I guessed who she was.

I was unable to utter any word. She rushed to where I was costly sleeping and dragged me to one of the corner of the earthen rooms.Fear crept on me but I couldn't gain any courage to confront her since Mr. G had previously made it clear that I was not the lady of the house. Comparing myself with the woman in front of me. I honestly understood his choice of preference.

The woman had a spiraled manicured dreadlocks with a fresh-dimpled face. The latter was wearing a symmetrical Ankara top, bell shaped skirt and a ballerina flats but still maintained her intimidating posture. Seeing how she was made me to relate the predilection of the house with a 72 flat screen TV, artificial trees on the tables and a musical home theater system projected in every corner of the house.

The decorated mirror in the bathroom with a large fluffy towels, Italian luxury quilted pillows and goblets plaited curtains that did not correspond to Mr. G's taste created a panicky mood in me and I lingered motionless as I patiently waited for 'my Rescuer' . If and only if Mr. G won't neglect our last night romance and succumb to this temptation of this lustful woman remained my only hope.

I detested her on the spot while I admired her beauty and the physique which made me to venom her the most. As I snared her with a contemptuous but obsessive thoughts, I pitied myself.

When I took a sharp corner to the living room, I checked the wall clock and I could hypothesize it had only been an hour since Mr. G left for work. I moved with fear expecting the unexpected. I passed by the home theatre system to reduce the volume because the house was on a blaze of classical music from Classic 105 FM.

Forthwith, I opened the door and what I saw made me question my ken. The lady with a mohawk bantu knots, tunic top and a denim skirt was standing in the door way waiting for me to usher her in. Could it be a mpango wa kando or the main chick I wondered.

'Hi, Aunty, ' she disdainful greater me.

Words failed me and I started to quiver as I widely open my microscopic eyes to confirm my worst fear. As I was still questioning my judgement.

The lady quickly rushed pass me forcing my skinny body not to support my weight. I pushed back and the 'miss perfect' felt on the verandah with a loud scream. The road being near a market place brought every lazy being who missed to go for their morning chores to get to know what causes the commotion.

' What's going on here ?' a skinny African man with a clean shave hair and a flip flops asked curiously fr behind.

'This mad woman pushed me from my boyfriend's house,' Miss Perfect exclaimed with the blood oozing from her mouth.

'Say that again and I will give you more of it,' I furiously responded as I try to control my anger.

I could see the crowd move from behind and not sensing what was going on I found myself lying on the floor too.

' Are you the one who has been spoiling my relationship?' A soprano voice roared on me.

I remember one day when we went for the nature walk around. Mr G had shown me a lady who was wearing chino trouser with an old braided hair in a certain compound as one of his client. judging from the appearance I wasn't bored as I categorically map her as a incomparable so I disqualified her as a threat. Little did I know the hormones where non religious and non choosy too.

' I'm expecting his child too,' a middle aged woman with a protruded belly shouted at her and I felt at least a relief for the attention was shifted to the new case.

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