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Submerged deep in the pool of darkness, my sense of sight was obstructed and my vision was blinded. I didn't even know what I was like, neither did I see myself nor own myself? My body was but only a puppet of the dark sea as the waves rowed me around, merrily. I knew I was alive because I still felt the pain from when I had died, slowly receding, and only curiosity kept me conscious and awake, where was I?
Subtle waves I felt as I trembled upon its sedative touch that warped all reality around me. I lived through my past life, again and again and.....again, Nostalgia as I lived through every regret that I harbored and carried on deep within all through my entire existence, every step and every fall, all the struggles and pain, sequentially.
Transitioned, I felt old for a moment then the next moment, I felt so little and as small as a child. I could feel the difference in every age. I felt cold, dry and wet at times, and couldn't bare the heat at other times, I guess these were the seasons. What were these waves? More importantly, what was this place? The afterlife perhaps? The famous judgment recorded in the sacred texts? If this was life after death, I could only pray it ends as I can only keep my sanity for so long.
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Now I know why immortals in fictions and myths feared eternity. I had long accepted my fate as I floated lifelessly around in the darkness waiting to die again as that was the only time I was relieved. Hunger, thirst, suffocation, illness, I was dealt different cards of death that served different wave of pain. I knew more than a thousand ways to die as of now, and I committed suicide just to shut down my consciousness, just like one would sleep in the night times.
Of course, I had become immortal, as I ended up in the same place every time I died. I was numb to pain and the smell of blood and rotten wound. It was an eternal torment, however, I could only ask myself;
'How long have I been here'?
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The eternal torment became a routine, and I had learned to live on in this dark space. Theoretically, nothing seemed to work here, Time was of no essence and the gravity was controlled by an unknown force.
"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!"
Too many death only makes you stronger, in this case. I would find a way to leave this place, no matter what. But firstly, what was this place?
I ignored all the pain and memory that flowed in my head and rationalized as I multitasked. I started by counting the time, seconds, hours, days, years, decades, centuries, millenniums. Slowly but surely, I could feel the change. The memories that flashed through were now gone, and I slowly gained control over my body. I could see the surroundings taking shape, tiny fragments and spectrums floated around, all interwoven in spiral shape.
I could feel something inside of me resonating as I absorbed the subtle waves that hit me. I let it out and slowly, the place lit up.
*crack*
*clang*
The space broke into several fragments like glasses and I could see the broken image of snow mixed with rain and hail. I looked down to see a part turf and desert landscape and the broken ocean that I had been drowning in. The whole place changed into a lit starry night and I could see several symbols hovering around a green ring shaped gaseous particle. With me hovering in the middle of this, I could see floating bricks and ribbons flying around, it looked like the one Mother used to have. The thought of mother made me reminisce the pleasant memories and a tear dropped falling out of my eyes. The whole space changed into the image of smiling Mother with me in bed again and I couldn't help but want to be there again.
I lunged forward to feel and touch Mother's beautiful face once again and as soon as I did, I felt my self being sucked into a dark vortex.
"No!" my voice sounded hoarse and strange as I yelled. Soon, it was dark again and I felt helpless, broken and sad.
"Goodnight, and sweet dreams, my dear boy" My heart tinged and I felt warm again, hearing the sweet voice of mother as I fell into deep slumber.
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I felt something soft beneath me and another fluffy stuff placed under my head, with something covering my whole body making me warm. Although, I felt heavy and stiff, it wasn't a bad feeling, in fact, i was in a heavenly comfort. I didn't know when I had been this relieved last and decided to relish in the feeling for a while.
'The storm must have passed'
I opened my heavy eyelid slowly to observe the new environment.
'Dark?'
I tried to hover about again, thinking I was still in the dark space, however, I felt numb as I slumped back into the soft surface. I tried to touch the ground and it felt soft and at the same time rigid. What was this?
I eventually rolled over after several minutes and I could feel myself hovering again.
*sigh*
I had anticipated that I was still in the dark place but didn't want to believe because it felt different but as I hovered and fell, I knew I was still there, or was I?
*splat*
I hit a very hard surface and the pain spread through my entire material.
"ow" I yelped in a dry and hoarse voice. The whole place lit up instantly and I couldn't help but squint my eyes and shut them close tightly instantly, my retina burning from the brightness.
'This divine brightness...it must be time to meet God' I anticipated.
"I highly recommend a bedframe, Jenkins" A familiar monotonous voice resounded in the room as I groaned in pain. I had long forgotten whose voice it was, but it felt familiar. It felt like a voice I heard only yesterday.
After several minutes, I raised my head slowly. After familiarizing myself with the brightness that I hadn't seen for millenniums, as I slowly opened my eyes. A river flowed down my face as I looked around in awe and disbelief. Why was I here? It was unbelievable, that I was in this place, after..... So many years. I was back in my apartment, my Zero-Star rated apartment.
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I ignored the monotonous voice and stared around the familiar but strange room. I realized that I had been on the bed sleeping before I fell off. I cried non-stop until my tears went dry as I clenched the bed sheet tightly. Memories of the dark space came rushing back as I sobbed.
They say a Man isn't supposed to cry but, after going through all 'that', and finally getting out, I was glad and at the same time lost In my emotions. Sadness, anger, hunger, heartache and slight pain, all swirled in as I continued crying.
" Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...hahahahahah" I roared in pain that soon turned into a joyous laughter. I laughed my hearts out like a psycho and later continued sobbing in happiness.
I was back? Back from the dead? Yes, I was back, and I would never go back into that dark space, never. I was going to protect this second chance with all I had. That was my first priority now, my conviction.
After several hours of self-appease and medication, I struggled to stand up and went into the bathroom with staggering steps.
"Ah!" It felt strange when the water showered on me.
'When last... When have I felt like this last?'
I felt peaceful and relieved. The eternal torment was finally over, I looked at myself in the distant mirror and reassured myself several times over and over again conducting a self-therapy. After washing myself, I came out and relaxed on the bed, staring at the starry night through the unfolded blinds. The moon peeking through from behind the dark clouds.
Now that I'm relaxed, the mystery of the dark place and my current situation dawned on me. I couldn't help but think about the whole thing. I remembered how I had been killed and ended up in the dark place. I started to feel uncomfortable again as I thought about the dark place, I could slightly feel as if I was there again and quickly put the thought away.
'By the way, what day is it today?' The thoughts crossed my mind after remembering why I had been killed. The world was collapsing and I had tried to save it. Now that I'm alive again, I could simply ignore this but, I had determined that I would never let this second chance slip away from me, no matter what. Simply put, if the world ended, I'd be dead too and go back into that dark place....
"Roberta, what date is it today?" I asked in a slightly dry voice as I had drank a lot of water earlier. I was still hungry like never before but it was incomparable to that of the dark place.
"11th of March, Year 3500. Today is Monday."
It was the night of the day I had met my future-self. The same day I got my contract signed at SPAX Corp.
"Strange" I was quite baffled. If I didn't die, shouldn't I be right where or after I had died. And if I got reincarnated, I should still be a kid or someone else in another world, not as the same person and the same life.
I rolled out of the bed and went to the Cubex where I had kept my files and riled through it until I found what I was looking for, or hoping not to find actually. It was the letter I had received on the 7th of this month, and below it, I could see two distinct signatures.
*slump*
I was on my knees, looking at the paper confusedly. I stood up dazzlingly, giving no concern to the paper that had dropped from my trembling hands. I sat on the edge of the bed staring directly at the floor, lost in my thoughts.
'What .....Is this?'
I was too shocked to think things through and only after several minutes passed did I calm down.
*sigh*
I unconsciously raised my gaze and I caught the time on the wall 'glitching'.
'4:27 Am.....4:26 Am.....4:27 Am'
In search for answers, I slowly threaded back and forth the moment I had died to this point. Where had things gone wrong?
'In the dark space? Or was it when I died? No, matter of fact, everything went wrong since I met my future-self....and.....wait, wouldn't that be today? Doesn't that mean I am right where everything had gone wrong?'
It made sense if I was right where something had gone wrong, so I put my thoughts on what had happened today exactly. I subconsciously put a finger on my chin as I thought critically;
'Maybe I had also time traveled somehow, but, shouldn't there be another me here? No, that's not it. The dark space also had something to do with this, and I remember being sucked into a dark vortex. I could hear mother's voice too, it felt far, as if it had been passed on through 'time'. Time? Time? Don't tell me!!!?'
'What went wrong was the fact that he....I had time traveled. Time travel? Yes, that's it, Time travel. What went wrong was meeting my future self!'
In the book of 'Unlimited rules of Time travel', the most important effect was 'Time paradox'. A Time paradox occurs when a time traveler meets his past or future self in a timeline different from the present thus, endangering his own existence. When my future 'self-met' my present self, he knew his existence was and had to vanish as a chain reaction had been set up. He..... I had miscalculated and never thought I'd see myself alive in the past as it was absolutely normal, considering only one of yourself could be alive in a timeline. Think about it, right now as you live, you were granted the chance to travel into your past, would you imagine meeting your past self when your present self was still ... 'present'? However, he shouldn't have made contact since I didn't know he was the same person as me, at least, that wouldn't have triggered the paradox. Ah! Yes, Time travel messes with one's thoughts and mind really.
My thoughts split into different scenes at this moment and as I connected the dots, my eyes only widened increasingly as I gasped at every discovery. I had unraveled the mystery but the mystery was so great that I was left in shock. I had messed with..... Time!!!
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