Rea wasn't sure how long he stood in his kitchen thinking about Karma's comment. His life had always felt like it was someone else's. Now with her here, he could chase his dreams. Karma shared who she was with him without holding anything back. Her determination to have her freedom inspired him. Their closeness made him more comfortable in his own skin.
There was something more as well. He wanted her in his life. Rea wanted to make a permanent place for her. His connection with her grew stronger with every piece of her she shared.
These feelings were unstoppable, yet he kept up the fight. Giving in to this love would only cause suffering, wouldn't it? He couldn't lose her again and survive the hurt. He had to keep his distance if he didn't want to be shattered to pieces.
As his eyes swept the new furniture and her clothes, he faced that these thoughts could be his dad's.
His fingers moved over her tattoos as he tried to decide if he should ask her to stay. Would she give up her freedom for him?
"What's on your mind? You're tracing my tattoos again. Are you thinking about getting one? A tattoo artist is hard to find. We'd have to go to the Equator."
"We?"
"Yeah, you know… you and me. If you ever want to take a trip, I'm with you all the way. I can help you navigate the place. It's insane. It's lots of mixed countries, fights over land, and language barriers. The money is messed up as well, but I'd help you."
"Stop liking me so much, Karma. There is no 'we.'" Rea let go of her arm. He stalked over to the bed. It was late. There was a whole day of training tomorrow. He needed to get some sleep.
He glanced over his shoulder when he realized he wasn't as tired as he thought. Mostly, he was troubled thinking about Karma. He had to step away. Sleep would be his diversion.
"Why fight it, Rea? I don't see a point in this. I accept this thing between us, so why can't you?"
"I have to look at 'this thing between us.' I don't just jump in."
Karma pushed the chairs around the table.
"Why don't you take a break from looking at things?" She turned off the lights, casting the entire room into darkness. Rea swore. Karma could see perfectly in the dark.
"Knock it off, Karma." He gave her the best warning tone, but the lights stayed off. "This isn't funny."
"I didn't say this was funny."
Just as he turned to back his legs up against the bed, her breath was hot on his neck. He turned to get his bearings and grab her, but it was like trying to catch the wind. He decided to yell at her for the childish game. Before he could, her mouth settled on his. She started to sip from him like he was an excellent wine and she was a drunk.
The power of her insatiable desire made his defenses crumble. Involuntarily Rea started to kiss her back. It was as if he was unable to stop himself. She guided his hands to her breasts, and he squeezed them softly. He ran his thumb over the hardened nipples and pinched them through her shirt.
As soon as she moaned, Rea realized what he was doing. He shoved away from her and blindly hit the sun lamp on the headboard of the bed. The light turned on and gave the room a soft radiance. He stared at her in the low light. Karma looked at him like a woman waiting for her man. Her skin looked softer and silkier in the warm glow. Her lips were enticing. He could still taste her in his mouth, and he ran his fingers over his tingling lips.
"Stop this. My father told me when and where to have sex. I'll be damned if that's going to happen again. You're trying to control me."
"You think that's what I'm doing?"
"Yes. That's what you're doing. I'll decide what I want." Rea thought he probably sounded like he was throwing a temper tantrum. If anyone knew he was stopping a beautiful woman from having sex with him, they would think he was out of his mind. Right now, he knew he was acting insane, but he wanted Karma on his terms for once, not the other way around.
"You're right. I'm sorry."
Puzzled, he was instantly wary. He could tell she was contrite, but he could also tell she wasn't backing down. That was Karma. A mix of stubbornness and flexibility.
"I hear what you're saying, but I want you, and nothing about that has changed."
Rea put his hand up, but she kept talking.
"Every day, I'm feeling better, and with every moment, I get to know you. I have come to care about you even more. I'm not attempting to control you. I'm trying to be with you. I understand you not trusting me right now, but what I'm offering is…." Karma paused as if searching for the right words. "Whenever you're ready, you can have me any way you want. If you need to dominate to feel in control, then that's fine. I want you to know you can always count on me."
Rea looked at her suspiciously. "This seems like a calculated move to get what you want." He felt a little like he was being snowed.
"I want to show you that you can trust me in and out of bed. If it would help, you can tie me up or hold me down or give me a command, and I'll do it. If you don't want to have sex, then I'll wait. Whatever you say."
"Sex on my terms?" Rea raised one eyebrow.
"Yes."