The sun was beginning to set as I hunched over my desk, lost in thought, counting the relentless ticks of the clock mounted at the front of the office. Each second that passed felt like a lullaby, drifting through the dismal air and lightly brushing against my ear. I closed my eyes and relaxed my body, falling under the melody's hypnotic spell, wishing I could stay entranced forever. However, a sharp bang shattered my world of silence. My eyes snapped open.
"The boss needs you. He said it's urgent." I lifted my head with a long, reluctant yawn and turned to see one of my coworkers, their face twisted in a grimace.
"Ugh, can I get five more minutes?" I stretched, my voice thick with sleep, but I was only met with my coworker's unamused stare. "Okay, okay! I'm just joking. I'll be over there right away." I slowly pushed myself up from my desk, glancing back at my chair and already regretting my decision. My body felt heavy, like I was moving in slow motion as I trudged across the office. Every cubicle I passed seemed to watch me with condescending glares and quiet murmurs.
"Looks like the boss is after Gray again."
"Man, I'm starting to feel bad for the dude."
"Why doesn't he just quit already?"
Their words stung more than I expected. Pity laced in every tone. I felt like an animal trapped in a zoo just for everyone to point and laugh at. I tried to ignore them, forcing my way through the mangled mess of computer cords that snaked around the floor like the heads of some mythical creature—each one a tripwire ready to pull me down.
"I heard you needed me?" I knocked softly, the sound echoing in the quiet office. I walked in, and for a moment, it felt like the room itself had stopped breathing. Then, I heard an annoyed grunt and the shuffling of papers. I stood there, unable to move, my body tense as my stomach churned with unease, offering a hesitant greeting to his back. However, he didn't respond immediately and let the silence stretch out between us. But then, finally he turned.
"So, Gray…" His gaudy golden nameplate refracted the LED lights and attacked my eyes. "Do you know why I called you?" He bit his cheek and continued to tap his desk.
All I could do was respond with silence. I looked at my boss and shook my head before shifting my gaze to the wall behind him. The silence stood for a couple moments before he let out a deep and heavy sigh. "Do you think this is some kind of nursing home?"
I blinked, unsure how to respond. "P-pardon? I'm sorry what do you—" He picked up his cactus plant just adjacent to his computer and chucked it at me. My eyes widened and my heart seemingly stopped for a moment before I instinctively ducked, the sharp scent of soil filling the air as the cactus shattered against the wall behind me.
"Well maybe you need to be in one! You must have dementia because how do you always manage to TURN YOUR WORK IN LATE?!?!?" I was taken aback by my boss's comment and I shuttered. Goosebumps surged up my body as I tried to think of a good enough response. "I-I know it's not an excuse," I stammered, my voice shaky. "But so much has been going on... It's hard to focus on just one thing right now." I said it with as much sincerity as I could muster, but I knew that no matter what I had said would've helped me.
"Haha! I can't believe it!" My boss sneered while rubbing his face, attempting to wash away his anger. "Are you even taking this seriously?" His patronizing glare gave me thousands of cuts. "I want you to finish all your work and turn it in by tonight or I'm cutting your pay. Now get out." His words stung, and I turned around, struggling to hold back the tears welling up in my eyes. As I walked back to my desk, I could hear my boss and adjacent coworkers curse me under their breaths. Many emotions swirled inside me. All I could focus on was trying not to let the tears fall.
When I finally slumped into my chair, I grabbed a fistful of my hair, the frustration boiling over as my eyes burned with unshed tears.
Maybe it would just be easier if I disappeared. If I didn't have to come back…
"Aright, everyone! Good work today! Everyone but Gray can leave!" The Bastard exclaimed. Everyone gave out exhausted groans and hurriedly packed their things and dashed out the door, gossiping about whatever the newest stock trend was. I, however, moaned into my desk cursing at all of the coworkers who slid their paper in to clock out for the night.
Shit… this is going to be a long night.
***
It's 10:30 at night. I stretch and glance out the window. "Finally, I'm done with all this damnable work!" I grunted as I pushed myself up from my desk, stretching out the tension that had clung to my shoulders. I grabbed my satchel — two packs of gum and cigarettes, the essentials — filled it, and I walked toward the window, my thoughts still swirling. The moon hung there, so calm and indifferent, its pale light washing over the chaos of my desk.
How beautiful I thought. I could hear nothing but the faint hum of the fluorescent lights above, and the occasional distant siren cutting through the silence. The cool air from the window brushed across my face, as though the night itself was inviting me to let go. I wanted time to freeze, just for a while, so I could breathe. So I could just forget about everything around me. Maybe the man on the moon could see my silent cry, a speck of loneliness floating up to him. Perhaps he'd reel me in with his hook, not just through the stars, but into a place where time didn't matter. Where nothing mattered.
But these were just dreams. I sighed, letting the moment slip away, and with a heavy heart, I clocked out for the night.
I rushed down to the parking lot, everything around me blurring into a desperate haze until I reached my car. It was an old, clunky thing, a gift from my eighteenth birthday, though it looked like it had seen much better days. I started the engine, and it made a sound like a cat trying to cough up a hairball. The car lurched forward, and my face slammed into the steering wheel. Great. I was off to the bar to drink my sorrows away and just forget everything that happened… At least just for one night.
The drive to the bar was nothing more than a blur of neon lights and street signs, the kind that flickered like they had no reason to keep going. Once I arrived at the bar, I swung open the door too hard, and the thunk echoed through the bar like a gunshot. Everyone turned to stare, but the bartender's glare could've set me on fire. He smiled at me with gritted teeth as he was cleaning a glass. I half expected it to shatter with how much pressure he was putting on the poor thing. I asked sincerely if I could be seated, aware of the dent I just had put in the wall. The bartender agreed, and sat me at a seat in the far corner. "Drinks are double for you okay." He patted a menu on my table.
GULP, GULP, GULP
I downed three bottles of their strongest sakè.
"'Heyyy, I'm hiccup HICCUP!' I slurred, my words thick with alcohol. 'Really, really sorry for your wall, okay? I didn't mean it... I swear I didn't!' I clung to the counter like it was a lifeline. 'I'll do anything... anything at all to make it up to you…" The bartender picked me up like a WWE superstar and ushered me out the door trying not to make a scene. "All right, big guy, off you go!" I stumbled through the parking lot like a toddler attempting their first steps, trying to get to my car, but I lost myself in the endless sea of vertigo. The world spun, lights flashed and people waved at me—but I couldn't tell if they were real or just part of the blur. I waved back, oblivious to the dangers around me. Before I could figure anything out, a blinding light pierced my peripheral vision…
CRASH!!!
I was thrown through the air, a trail of blood in my wake. My body wouldn't respond, limbs locked in place as the world around me darkened into something colder than I'd ever known.
I couldn't see. Only the sound of sirens and distant screams filled my ears as my consciousness began to fade.
I think this is it. I'm dying. It doesn't feel as good as I thought it would.
Before I could let my mind wander further into the dark, a voice cut through the fog. "Transportation initiated!" I was too taken away, and decided to accept my fate. But after a few minutes I saw a faint light. Is this heaven? I thought to myself. But instead of angelic hymns and angels waiting there to greet me, it was… the ground?
As I tried to piece together what had just happened, a piercing noise sliced through my thoughts.
"KIEEK!"