Suppression
Two doses tonight, and a hit of the good stuff to help bring me down. Even my sleep was riddled with fear; a pure terror of losing something that I once loved so much. I thought I had found a peace with my life of solitude, but this had me back in that dark place. I thought I had escaped.
And I spiraled, nightmares fueling my pain. I awoke sobbing, crying out for her.
Even with 4 years between us, she was still the only friend I ever had.
A tiny bit of Kavielle was leaking out of me again. I fucking hate it.
I took a double dose of my happy pills, trying to keep myself level. Old me would have let something like this destroy everything. Old me would have run to Los Angeles to face the situation head on—old me was a dumbass.
