Yale blew my mind and I wondered why everyone was against it. It was spacious, well accommodating, they knew how to blend fun and education to make it more exciting. Maybe because I hadn't seen any other university because Rosa kept telling a lot of fun stuffs about NYU.
Yale was a different world entirely. New faces, new personalities, new ideas. I stood at my room, watching every other activities and kept I wondering if I was going to fit in. Classes began and life as a college student began as well. As newbies, there wasn't so much to do except getting acquainted with courses, lecturers and the rules of the school.
Maybe because I anticipated so much for the next session so that Brian could join me but the session refused to wrap up. Brian was dealing with last days at high school breath taking tasks, so we couldn't get to meet so often during weekends but I had a very interesting roommate whose name is Vanessa. Vanessa could be boring and fun at the same time and how she did it was amusing. She had a wonderful ideology on life and believes that "good things doesn't come easily", she believes that so get something very deserving, you have to go through thick and thin process that's why she never agreed to the fact that I and Brian relationship were real and true.
At the end of the year, I wheeled my bag to the house anticipating every day to resumption date as Brian would be joining me then. Rosa came back for holidays during the summer break, Leo managed to visit us one weekend before resumption date.
The life I've always wanted began. I attended a school with the one I love most, I was always close to him and made sure I never missed patting him like a cute puppy. In Yale, I had promised that I was going to give Brian 100% energy to what he gave me in high school. I cleaned his room during the weekends, I prepared dinner almost every day, I always took his clothes out for laundries on Sunday and then we both went to the beach on Sunday evenings.
One mysterious weekend after returning from cleaning brian's room, I look so frazzled and hot
"Do your really have to keep doing this?"
"Vanessa! what's your problem?"
" Nevermind"
"No, no, why do you always avoid this question? for over a week, you've done nothing but acting so weirdly"
"Time will tell!"
I shook my head and fell on the bed tiredly.
The routine continued, but the more I tried the more it seemed like I was forcing Brian to love me and I didn't want that. He kept detaching, using classes and projects as an excuse. I passed the previous session with good grades because I wasn't distracted and I don't want to be distracted now, I didn't even want to think of Brian as a distraction. I made a decision to let him be and sees if he notices that I'm slowly detaching as well, on a better note, I wanted to concentrate as we had a lot of research to make as the session was coming to an end.
One beautiful evening after returning from an acquarium close to the school to round up my research for the week, my phone beeped. With so much agitation I hurried to check it, I was expecting a message from Brian. I couldn't hold being nonchalant and detachable, I sent him tons of messages that Saturday morning and noon, disappointingly, he didn't reply any of them. I checked my phone with so much curiosity to my surprise, it was a message from vanessa an it reads:
"Meet me at the studio in 5 minutes"
I sighed and threw my phone into my bag. Was he upset because I didn't clean his room today? or was it because I didn't inform hi earlier that I'll be going to the acquarium today. I thought of calling him but I didn't want our call to end shortly, so I thought of meet vanessa at the studio before calling him.
I managed to stroll to the studio with my last energy, hoping to faint upon meeting vanessa. Just when I was about to unbolt the door, vanessa pulled me out to the window and behold, I saw Brian and a girl I've never met. They were sitting together, holding hands, giggling and playing romantically. I held my tears and walked away when vanessa pulled me back.
"What?" I asked almost yelling with a teary voice
"Are you not going to do anything about it?"
"Look, Brian is into arts, maybe they're having rehearsals or something, besides what we saw then was nothing intimate"
"Really?"
"I can't believe this is why you called me out here after I experienced such a hectic day"
"Alison!"
"Stay away from us, that's the best you can do for me right now!" I warned and scurried away.
I ran to my room and soaked my pillows. I had to protect my relationship in front of Vanessa bit what I saw there was really heartbreaking. By 10pm, I sneaked to his room and knocked on the door. I couldn't find myself sleeping with the thoughts of Brian cheating on me.
"Hey! why didn't you call me before coming, isn't it too late?"
"Why? I took you by surprise? Your girlfriend is in there?"
"What are you talking about Alison?"
"What? No what? when do I have to inform you before coming to your house?" I asked as I bent under his arms and walked into the room.
"Alison!"
"Why was my messages left hanging throughout today? you didn't even respond to any of them" I asked as I threw my eyes at every corners of the room
",I was busy but I was going to reply to them or prolly face time you soon. I was just so busy...."
"cheating around huh?" I cut in still throwing my eyes and obviously searching for something
"What?"he asked as he pulled me closer to his face
"what? I saw you Brian. What were you doing in the studio with that girl around 6:48pm" I asked, this time letting the tears flow
"So you resort to stalking me now, huh?"
"I don't see that as an answer to my question"
"we want to talk about who's cheating huh? who's the new guy you've been hanging around with?"
"New guy?" I asked looking puzzled, "Brian, I don't even have his number, we're just project teammates"
"But he was with you throughout today that's why you spent hours at the aquarium"
"What? is that why you refused to reply to all my messages?"
"because he kept popping out in every videos and voice notes!"
"Are you for real right now? so is that why you thought you could go cheating on camp girls to hurt me?"
" we were practicing, I'm into arts now!"
"Right. I never knew that they all practice romantically with no audience and no supervisor"
"What are you saying?" he asked as he stood up from the bed
"I saw you Brian! with my two eyes, I saw you!"
"Is that why you're here?"
"What?"
"I mean, I see no reason why I should keep up with this conversation when you don't trust me. Is this about your room mate? I've never liked her, in sure she's winning you over, c'mon babe" he said as he held me calmly by my arms
"I love you Brian, please don't think of leaving me, I'm not sure I'll survive it" I cried as I rested my head on his chest, sniffing and trying to hold back my tears
"I love you Alison, I won't do anything to hurt you, I promise"
"You sure about that?" I asked as I lifted my head up to look at his face
He dropped a kiss on my lips. I hugged him tightly, "I believe you Brian"
Brian pleaded with me to spend the night with him but I needed to warn vanessa severely else I won't have the courage to do that by morning. We baded goodbye at my door and he walked back. Luckily enough, I found vanessa awake reading a novel as usual.
"Hey! where have you been? I tried....."
"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled as I threw her cosmetics on the table
"What?" she asked stuttering
"I'm Alison Winston and I always do things my way, don't you ever dare interfere in life or relationship again! you wouldn't want to see the worst side of me"
"I guess Brian is so much of a sweet talker seeing how much he has convinced you"
"Call his name one more time and find yourself begging for life" I warned as I held her by her neck
"Get off me! How long are you going to be a fool for him? how much more do you intend to endure ? Until when will your love and care be reciprocated?"
I yelled, throwing her clothes to the floor,her books and other cosmetics to the floor. I fell to the ground holding my ears tightly, panting and feeling dizzy. "I don't want to be the one to kill you Vanessa but I bet you have a death wish, keep quiet now I'm nice"
"What? did I hit a nail? look at you causing all this mess and looking so pathetic over a toxic human who doesn't love you one bit but using you as a bait to succeed"
"What did you just say?" I yelled as I held her neck and strangling the life out of her
Soon I was on the floor. Vanessa has pushed me to the floor and ran away. I grunted so hard and destroyed almost everything in the room. I threw our shelves down, I broke the flower vase, there the beds to the floor. The beast in me was upset, I couldn't control myself, I reached out for a glass of water but ended up breaking the dispenser and glass, I was going crazy, I almost pulled my hair out but eventually fell to the ground as I was so dizzy.
The next thing I realized was that it was morning thank God it was Sunday. The whole room was a complete mess. I sighed severally as my head pounded. I was wet, the room was almost flooded, I could hear the other students asking among themselves were the water was coming from. I had broken our water dispenser. I managed to reach out to my phone and contacted a cleaner outside the school to clean up my mess. I caused so much fuss, now I have to pay for it, "what was that anger all about?" I asked myself
By 10am, Brian was already calling me. It was Sunday, I had to perform my duty as a girlfriend who acts like a housewife. I ignored it severally, I didn't know what to say to him. I got a new water dispenser, fixed our shelves, arranged her clothes, fixed the bed, ordered some new cosmetics for her before leaving.
I knocked several times on his door, before his roommate, Adam opened the door.
"Hey what's up?"
"Cool. where's Brian?"
"Didn't you leave with him this morning?"
"Uhm, guess I didn't"
"Oh man! he left this morning after answering a knock on the door, I managed to see through, it was a female so I thought it was you"
"Maybe he went for service, he told me someone invited him, guess she's the one"
"Sure!" he finally answered after giving me that shocking stare for 5 seconds
"Can I come in? I'd like to clean up"
"Sure" he answered as he paved way for me to pass
"Yunno, you're such a nice person and Brian is so lucky to have you" Adam complimented
I just nodded and continued cleaning. "where could he have gone? Brian had never liked attending church after what happened when his grand mom died, the church did not contribute anything to find her funeral, so he had always believed that God could always answer him when he calls and he does not need to necessarily go to church to do all that and about the girl, who was she ?"
At about 2pm, I was done with cleaning and laundry. I even ordered meal for Adam and Brian.
"I'm sorry he had to keep you waiting, I wonder why he's not here. Uhm, don't worry, I'm sure he'll be on his way"He tried to encourage
I managed to smile and nodded my head
"How about you eat before leaving? I'll give mine to Brian"
"Thank you Adam. I'm not hungry, I had a long day, I'm tired"
"Oh right! go have some rest. Let me walk you to your room"
I managed to nod and began to walk. I felt really dizzy and so void of thoughts, I only wanted to get home quickly to take a nap.
At the gate of the male hostel, we met Brian walking in. I ignored him and walked away. Not because I was upset or something, I was just too tired to make a pause. Luckily enough, he didn't run after me, nor call unto me. At my room, Vanessa was back and studying, I walked in and fell on my bed. Few hours later, I woke up to see vanessa mopping my body, I tried to stand up but I couldn't, my head was pounding so much that it couldn't even process my thoughts, I could only move my hands to show I was awake.
"I'm glad you're awake, you were running a very high temperature, the school clinic said you're stressed out and needs to rest, you've been so up and doing these past few weeks, get a break"
"Did you reach out to Brian?" I managed to ask after so much struggle and pain
"No! if he cares so much about you, he would have called"
"How did you know I was running temperature?"
"I checked up on you after you arrived, you laid down so hopelessly, I was nervous so I had to check your temperature and call the school clinic, don't say a word, sleep"
"but I just woke up"
"I ordered some food, when I'm done washing you, I'll give you some"
"Why are you doing all of this? I hurt you, why do you still care"
"Because I know you were ignorant and unnecessarily upset. Inside of you is a pure heart with so much love to give, you'll do same"
"I won't! You will, as usual"
"usual? do you think I should call Brian?"
"He should miss you the way you're missing him"
I laid back, maybe vanessa was right, he didn't call..... my phone began to rang, it was Adam, I looked at the clock hanging on the wall, adjacent to where I was lying, it was 6:09pm.
"Hey Alison"
"Hey" I answered, trying to sound fine
"You didn't really seem so fine to me even after I realized you were tired, it looked more to me, so I was just calling to check up on yo cos I was still feeling so uneasy "
"Thank you so much Adam, I'm fine"
"Now I'm more worried, sure you are? you sound tired"
"I'm still on bed guess that's why I sound that way"
"No!", then he hunged up
Few minutes later, Adam had arrived with Brian.
"Hey! I knew it, something was odd, what happened?" Adam asked as he rushed up to me and checked my temperature
"I'm fine Adam, doctor said I'm just stressed out"
"What didn't you call me?" Brian asked
"Really? is that all you can say to your girlfriend who's bedridden at the moment?" Vanessa asked
"It's okay vanessa"
"You're at fault man! you couldn't even care to call her, what if vanessa wasn't around, what if something bad had happened to her?" adam quarrelled
"How are you?" Brian asked as he knelt beside me and kissed my forehead. I managed to nod.
"I'm sorry for not reaching out..."
"Shhhh, you're here now and that's fine" I cautioned as I used my index finger to cross his lips indicating he should be quiet
"What happened? what have you been doing?"
"I'm fine Brian"
"Get well soon!"
"Why did you come here?"
"Because adam called me out"
"How shameless!"
"What?"
"Why are you hurting alison so much, Brian? don't you think letting go is better than all these?"
"Alison!"
"Stop calling her and talk to me! let's talk it out!"
Brian walked out of the room with Adam running after him. Vanessa was right and that's why I couldn't say a word, guess she was the only one who could confront him without feeling guilty. I managed to lay back and closed my eyes
"what I'm i not doing? I'm i not good enough or him? where did I go wrong? what I'm i supposed to do?" these questions kept repeating till I slept off.