Claire laid down on the mattress on the floor. She was exactly where she was years ago - in an empty apartment with dodgy heating, no furniture aside of a mattress on the floor and instant noodles for her only warm meal a day. Working in a coffee shop had a huge advantage of hot beverages. The only bonus.
She was truly all alone, and the worst thing of all was that unlike before, she didn't know whether her loved ones were safe.
"I am not crazy." She repeated as she firmly believed that what she lived through was real. She was Claire Elise Thompson and then Moore. But yet, how could everyone be gone.
Maybe her mind truly tricked her into believing something that never happened.
She sobbed violently until her stomach hurt and then she stared into the dark space until morning. She dressed up in her very simple jeans and T-shirt outfit trying to push through another day.
She served customers all day, her feet feeling beyond heavy by the end of it. She was exhausted. At the end of the thirteen hour shift she left the coffee shop and slowly walked down the streets, hands in pockets, shivering at the cold late October air. It's been a month of constant struggle and she achieved nothing.
Claire stopped near the Red Bridge, looking over at the water and the night skyline. She remembered so vividly the kiss that she shared with Gabriel whilst standing on this bridge. The passion so strong that it hurt, and even now, she could feel the void left by it.
Gabriel's touch was so deeply engraved into her body, heart, and soul, that she could feel the emptiness that it has left behind her.
For a moment, the rushing water seemed enticing.
Claire's own thoughts put her off and she quickly stepped away from the barrier.
Her days started to look very same. Long working hours just to scrape by, and no other reason to live. The therapy sessions with Dr Parker did nothing for her. She could only put on a mask and pretend that she truly is Elise Cooper who had a psychotic depression and suffered from psychosis.
But she wasn't crazy.
A few days later, Claire walked in her dissociative state, unaware of her surrounding, letting her legs carry her. She had the first day off since starting a new job, and she had nothing to do. Before she realised she stood in front of security guard.
"Not you, again." The man sighed. Claire looked at him with equal frustration. "Look, lady, if you keep coming here, I will call for police."
"I have tried to arrange an appointment through the website, as you've told me, but it either gets declined or ignored." Claire spoke calmly. "I would really appreciate it if just once you could pass on my message to Gabriel."
"Gabriel Moore?" The security guard scoffed. "Ah yes, you know the CEO of the company, don't you?" The man's voice was full of contempt.
"Yes." Claire replied shortly.
"Ma'am, I don't know how many times do I have to tell you that you aren't going to meet Mr Moore as per your whims. I have told you that plenty of times. I have no time to argue with a crazy lady."
"I am not crazy." Claire repeated the same thing she told herself. "I know Gabriel very well." She tried to remain composed.
"How do you know him?"
"I worked here." Claire bit her lip.
"Really?" The security guard for a moment pretended to entertain her. "And as an employee you just hung out with the CEO?"
"I was the head of one of his most profitable departments as well as a CDO." Claire clinched the sleeves of her jacket until her fingers turned white.
"I see. And what else?"
"I-…" Claire hesitated but then she caught a sight of blue eyes in the lobby. "I was a wife of Gabriel Moore." She responded. Gabriel must've heard her but he didn't stop as he walked across the lobby and entered another corridor, paying little to no attention to her.
"Look, I've warned you." The security guard took out his phone.
"I am not crazy." Claire repeated. "If he doesn't want to see me, that's fine. But I just hope that he is well."
"Yeah, sure." The security guard rolled his eyes.
Claire studied the man in front of her and then quickly backed off. She didn't need to get an arrest on her record.
She decided to go away and then she went to volunteer at the soup kitchen to kill her time. It was not any less troubling that Holly's Kitchen ceased to exist just like everything else in her previous life, but she found some place else that did exactly the same.
Claire was eager to help, momentarily forgetting about her own troubles as she helped the less fortunate ones.
She spoke with the homeless men who told her of their shelter issues, she spoke with the widowed woman who lost her job and struggled to feed her three kids, she spoke with an addict who didn't have a warm meal in months. It was always humbling to be among those who faced many life challenges and were still here. She even managed to smile as a child told her a truly horrible joke with no punchline. For a brief moment, she was certain that someone watched her from the crowded pavement outside but she couldn't spot anyone there as she looked up.
After finishing a lunch shift in the kitchen, she started to wander around the city.
As delusional as she might've been, there was no way she could've made up her career as a designer with such an extreme details. The buildings she designed stood tall, still used as tourist attractions. She remembered how she came to decide on each design and the intricate details that she hid in each one of them.
She walked into a large lobby of a hotel she designed and looked up at the ceiling.
"Ma'am." Someone said behind her.
"Did you know that the sky ceiling was designed to bring the natural light throughout the build and to increase the energy efficiency of the building? I believe that this alone reduced the expected electricity cost by about 10%." Claire said automatically, turning to face the hotel staff.
"I see." The man furrowed his brows as he looked down at Claire.
"It's the same reason as to why this sculpture was decided as a backing for the lobby wall." Claire pointed at a metal on the wall. "It reflects the natural light just at the right angles to light up the room without causing any discomfort." The she looked back up at the skylight. "Did you know that the spiral was designed based on the Fibonacci sequence? The lines of the black barriers were purposely selected to keep the spiral visible when looking up. Not only that, that image will vary depending where you stand. If you stand by the sculpture, the angles will make it look like an eye." Claire smiled. "Anyways, I forgot just how much thought went into this design." She let out a sigh. "May you have a good day." She mumbled as she walked out of the hotel hurriedly. It wasn't hard to notice that the staff members was feeling on edge with her. She didn't fit in the very places that she designed.