Claire entered the dim hallway. The stench of alcohol hit her nostrils straight away triggering her anxiety even further. She was on high alert when she heard quiet footsteps coming from the living room. Gabriel soon appeared in the hallway, dishevelled and visibly drunk. His shirt was untucked and partially unbuttoned, his hair was pointing in all directions, he was all red from the influence of the alcohol, he was barefoot, and he had an obvious wobble in his step.
Claire took a step back as his gaze landed on her. She was readying to run for her life as he walked toward her. Already feeling for a door handle behind her, feeling hard wood against her back. As Gabriel was nearer and nearer, she closed her eyes, preparing herself for his explosion. But it didn't come. The brute force, the yelling, the rage - none of it came. Silence befell. Claire's breath was fast and shallow and her heart was palpitating. She cautiously opened her eyes to work out when the outburst will come. But it didn't. None of what she expected happened. As she opened her eyes, she found Gabriel kneeling on the floor, barely a few steps in front of her, wiping his tears with the back of his hand, sobbing.
"I am not going to beg you to stay, and I will find a way to make that contract disappear…. As I've promised… I am not going to stand in your way… But please… At the very least… Tell me what I've done wrong…." Gabriel said in between the sobs and hiccups, stumbling on his words and stuttering. "Please… Tell me what I've done wrong… I need to know…." He looked at Claire with his reddened eyes filled with tears. Claire was shaken, and as her anxiety over the expected attack eased, there was a new overwhelming feeling in her chest. A heartbreak, but a different kind of heartbreak. Her heart was breaking for him, shattering into millions of pieces as she realised how much damage and hurt she has done. As she saw the cracks that she has made. Her anger was long gone, replaced by guilt and sadness. Claire stood frozen, as Gabriel continued pleading with her to tell him what he has done wrong, only now realising that there was nothing - at least since they started from anew. Everything that Gabriel did was just right, if not a little over the top. This made things even worse for her. She exploded at Gabriel, harming him on the way, over something he had no control over. Without giving him a chance to explain anything or defend himself, but then, there was nothing he had to defend himself over. Well, maybe a photo m, but it was rather Claire's curiosity over his side of that story rather than her accusation over anything. She didn't consider them a couple until just under three weeks ago, so it was hardly any of her business what he did before that.
Claire couldn't utter a word. She silently picked up her phone and opened the messages from Francesca, and she passed the phone to Gabriel. "What's this?" He asked in confusion, taking the phone with shaking hands and looking up at Claire with so many questions left unasked.
"This is the reason why I was upset," Claire said honestly barely keeping composed.
Gabriel's hands were shaking as he read the messages. His fingers were clenched onto the phone as he tried to work out what was the meaning of the messages - many messages by now, probably tenths of them.
And then it clicked. He realised the context of the messages and he realised who the sender was. He was angry. His lips were pursed and his eyebrows were pulled together. His eyes got that dangerous glare again.
Claire kept her distance as the smell of alcohol on him reminded her of the last time he was this drunk and how it ended. She didn't know whether his anger was towards her or not. She was still anxious, expecting any outcome possible. And, she didn't know what Gabriel was capable of at that very moment.
Gabriel started sobbing more violently. "I'm so sorry that she messaged you and that she wrote all of those cruel things to you. I'm sorry that my past is coming to haunt you." Gabriel at last looked back up at her. "I promise you that I'll deal with it and that you aren't going to be bothered by her again. And… I don't even know where to start with those messages. She's outright cruel, and none of the implications is true. If you ever will be willing to listen to me, I'll tell you my side of this story."
"The photo," Claire said which came out rather sharply.
"The photo?" Gabriel repeated looking back at it. "That photo is from about three years ago and it has been cropped. I don't think I have a single photo with Francesca alone. It was my sister's birthday celebration. I have a full photo somewhere." Gabriel fidgeted trying to find his phone in his trouser pockets giving Claire her phone back. His drunkenness made him clumsy.
"Three years ago?" Claire repeated staring at the photo.
"Yes." Gabriel nodded.
"You haven't aged a day," Claire grumbled feeling the weight come off her shoulders as she received her answer.
"Claire…" Gabriel started, unsure how to touch on the subject, clumsily getting his phone out, almost dropping it.
"I f*cked up. I'm sorry." Claire almost shouted. "I was tired, overwhelmed, and I've let Francesca get in my head. I spiralled out of control. I am sorry that it got this far." Claire sniffled as she spoke, feeling her eyes well up and a nearing breakdown.
"Does it mean that you aren't breaking up with me?" Gabriel asked quietly, with a hint of hope in his voice.
"No. I didn't intend it. I've lost it, and I've lost control over my emotions and the situation last night. I didn't mean to say that I wanted it to end." Claire shook her head. "And… you haven't done anything wrong. You weren't the reason for it."
Gabriel smiled through his sobs.
"Claire, I love you. I don't know whether you even realise it, but each day I love you more. At first, it might've been this inexplicable attraction, but with every day, I fall deeper in love with you, with all of you, with your beautiful mind and your pure heart. There's no one else that can ever compete with you. No one." Gabriel stood up, wobbling.
"Thank you for saying this." Claire smiled weakly. "But, what Francesca said holds a bit of truth. In a sense, we are a very unlikely fit. I am a worthless cockroach and you're you. Francesca would've been a much better fit for you. She would know what to do in all those fancy places and how to act properly and..."
"There are at least two things that you've just said that are completely wrong." Gabriel interrupted her. "Firstly, you ARE a perfect fit for me. You make me want to live another day. You make me want to be a better person. You are beyond perfect. You're smart, intelligent, kind, loving, and genuine. You showed me what life is about. You showed me that I can be happy again. And you don't even realise it. You don't realise that every minute with you is my dream come true. That every time I get to embrace you, I want the world to stop so that I can hold onto you a little bit longer. You don't realise that you managed to wreck my iron walls and that you brought me back from the brink of death. And you should know this. You must know that you're beyond precious. You're my everything, Claire!" Gabriel took a step forward.
"Francesca…" Claire started again.
"Oh for goodness sake, Francesca can never compete with you. It doesn't matter who it is, no one can ever compete with you because you're the only one in my eyes now. There's no competition, Claire. You don't have to worry about her." Gabriel hiccuped slightly reminding Claire of just how drunk he was. "You move within my circle without any issues, even though I do not care for it. You bring joy wherever you go, like at Evans' banquet. You bring people together in the most unlikely way. You don't have to fit into the mould of the elitist society to be perfect, Claire. If anything, this is what makes you perfect. As much as I love how professional you are, and how well you do within the business setting, I much rather get soaked in water and soap in the back hallway of a mansion than stiffly sit upright and talk about politics over and over again. I rather hear your opinions and ideas that your glorious mind came up with than some silly gossip and someone repeating the opinions of others because they can't form their own mind. I rather listen to you talking about nothing than some pre-set polite conversations. And yes, I am an introverted recluse, and my ideal life would be at home with you, ignoring the rest of the world for the rest of my life. I don't care about faked human interactions and pretend relationships. I want to be genuine with you!" Gabriel wobbled a bit again, which made Claire worried for a moment that he was going to fall over. "I'm sorry, I've drank a bit and I might be rambling on." Gabriel looked down in embarrassment, putting his hand to his forehead as if that were to help him balance.
"Why did you drink so much?"
"I thought that you left me, Claire. I needed to drown the pain. I needed it to stop." Gabriel started to sob again, his hands were shaking, and his lip quivered. "That's the only thing that's less than ideal about you, Claire. I can't stand being away from you. It is unimaginable pain. Nothing like what I ever felt before."
"I'm so sorry, Gabriel." Claire reached out and put her hand on top of his. "I'm so sorry."
"If you ever feel that way, Claire, tell me. If you ever have questions or doubts, tell me. I beg you to tell me how you feel. I beg you." Gabriel ugly cried again, sniffling as his nose became runny, a bubble appearing on its end, which Claire thought was equally disgusting and endearing. Claire moved closer gently placing her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. She felt his sobs coursing through his body, and she felt his warm tears drop on her face.
"I'm sorry." Claire's tears escaped her eyes. "I'm so used to being all alone that I don't think I know how to open up to anyone else. I'm used to being alone."
"I know." Gabriel nodded as he gently placed his hand at the back of Claire's head, pulling her closer to his chest. "I know that you have been all alone for a long while. You aren't now, and if you let me, you will never be again."
"And I'm sorry for starting this argument."
"I'm sorry that you've received those messages. Hang on, I'll find that photo for you." Gabriel said decisively, moving away for a few moments, frantically searching through his phone. "Here." He showed it to her. And indeed, what he said was true. The photo was cropped. On another side of Gabriel stood Evelyn Moore with a cake in her hands, and now it was clear that Gabriel was smiling at her, not Francesca, who awkwardly stood on his other side. "It was just over three years ago. Possibly the last big celebration we had together." Claire spotted Diane, Gabriel's mother, on the other side of Evelyn, looking rather ill, realising that her death must've happened in the last three years. "Eva's twenty-third birthday, I believe. She's only a few months older than you." Gabriel sighed, his hands still shaking as he was still recovering from the stress. "Francesca and Daniel were invited by our father, solely out of courtesy."
"Okay." Claire nodded, feeling even worse for her previous suspicions.
"Claire, I don't mind you asking," Gabriel said carefully.
"It's just…" Claire sighed.
"Hey, it's okay if you don't trust me. At least not yet. We both have one heck of a trust issue. I understand."
"It doesn't feel okay."
"But it is," Gabriel said reassuringly, pulling her back into the hug. "I don't mind, Claire. I rather you ask than trust someone else and let your mind come up with some scenarios on its own."
"But…" Claire felt anxious again.
"But, I don't mind," Gabriel repeated with a smile. "Why don't you sit down on a sofa and I bring us some tea? Maybe that'll help in sobering me up."
"I've got this," Claire said sternly. "I don't think I trust you with a kettle in your current state."
"That's wise." Gabriel chuckled as he kissed her forehead.
"I'm sorry," Claire repeated not wanting to let go of him yet, thinking that it was a miracle that he didn't break up with her instead.
"Stop apologising," Gabriel said with a wide smile. "I'm happy to have you, even if it is just for a little longer."
"You never know. If I die tomorrow you might be with me for the rest of my life." Claire said with a laugh.
"I rather torture you for at least another sixty or seventy years. Ideally even longer than that."
"You're cruel," Claire mumbled, as she smiled, her body finally relaxing.