Claire hurried in the afternoon to meet Gabriel. She walked towards the back roads where Gabriel was meant to wait for her. As she turned round the corner she noticed him. A little girl ran on the pavement, running into Gabriel and bouncing off his leg. Claire's heart stopped as she wondered how he was going to react.
"Are you okay?" Girl's mum asked worriedly.
"Are you okay?" Gabriel squatted instead and looked worriedly at a child.
"Yes, sir." Girl nodded.
"Let's get you some ice cream. I've heard ice cream is good for scraped knees." Gabriel offered as he looked at the girl's mum for approval. He walked with a girl to the ice cream stand and soon passed her the biggest ice cream swirl.
"Are you waiting for someone?" A little girl asked curiously.
"Yes, I am." Gabriel nodded.
"Is it a girl?"
"Yes." Gabriel smiled. "It's a girl."
"Do you like her?"
"I like her a lot."
"Is she pretty?"
"She's gorgeous."
"Do you LOVE her?"
"Yes, very much."
"Why?"
"She's a very special girl. She's smart, beautiful, kind, and so strong." Gabriel thought for a moment. "She makes me smile and she makes me want to be a better person."
"Is she a princess?"
"Definitely not!" Gabriel replied quickly. "She's a Queen. She can rule the world. And most importantly, in my heart, no one is above her." The little girl giggled. "Is your knee okay?" Gabriel asked as a girl started eating the ice cream.
"Yes, sir."
"That's good." Gabriel nodded.
Claire walked up closer from behind him. Her heart melted at the sight in front of her. At Gabriel's genuine smile and heart-warming interaction with a child. A small flutter and a little tightness in her chest surprised Claire.
"Is it her?" A girl pointed at Claire. Gabriel followed the girl's gaze around and his eyes met Claire's.
"Indeed, this is my Queen," Gabriel admitted which made Claire blush.
"She's so pretty!"
"Not as pretty as you!" Claire said to the girl. "You have such a pretty smile."
"Thank you, sir." The girl's mother chipped in. "We need to get going." She pulled the girl by her hand to hurry her along.
"Bye, mister!" The girl waved to Gabriel. "Bye, Miss!" She waved at Claire too.
"Claire…" Gabriel stood up, still smiling.
"I see that as soon as I turn around, you find some pretty girls to bother," Claire said teasingly.
"You know me, I'm such a flirt." Gabriel chuckled.
"Where are we going?" Claire asked curiously.
"It's a surprise," Gabriel repeated.
"You can't give me a hint?"
"Of course not. You're too smart. Even a hint will be too much of a giveaway." Gabriel gently grabbed Claire's hand and started walking with her down the narrow street. "You look lovely tonight."
"Thank you. You, too."
Claire looked at him carefully, wondering if it were truly his style or whether someone else picked the clothes for him. He wore dark trousers, brown leather shoes, a cream sweater and a brown coat. Somehow matching Claire's style as she wore black trousers, brown ankle-height boots, a cream turtleneck, and a black long trench coat. Her hair was down, flowing in the perfect waves, revealing long tassel drop gold earrings.
Gabriel squeezed her hand, leading the way down a few more narrow streets.
"Do you want us to get mugged?" Claire asked.
"Hang on a little longer," Gabriel said reassuringly as they came round the corner. Behind the rows of small shops and stands was the riverside with the sun glimmering off the water like thousands of fallen stars. Claire slowed down at a view, trying to take it all in. Gabriel slowed down, wrapping his fingers around Claire's, and watching her instead of the view. Her eyes glistened in amazement, and that made him smile even wider. He promised himself that he will do anything to make her world as beautiful as he could. He loved how her face glowed as she looked at the beautiful scenery. He loved how her eyes sparkled with excitement.
"And I thought that you don't walk past the high street." Claire smiled at Gabriel.
"It seems like you have a very strong opinion of me." Gabriel furrowed his brows.
"An opinion formed by my experience with a certain type of people."
"And what kind of people is that?"
"Rich a*sholes?" Claire looked up at him with a mischievous smile.
"I see." Gabriel nodded before letting out a soft laugh. " l can't speak for them all, but I like wandering around our beautiful city and appreciating the smaller things in life."
"Like your cockroach?"
"I've said that in anger and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ever said anything like this. Especially to you."
"Don't be silly. I took it as a compliment."
"Compliment?"
"Cockroaches are known to be quite resilient and to survive pretty much anything. Did you know that cockroaches can last a month without food?"
"And is that what you were trying to do whilst away?" Gabriel asked worriedly.
"Weren't you ever told that it's rude to comment on a woman's weight?" Claire asked with a bite in her voice.
"I am well aware. I will rather be rude than pretend that I don't see it." Gabriel brought Claire's hand to his lips, gently kissing the back of it. Claire looked up at him, trying to ignore the excitement that she felt as his warm lips touched her skin. "Now, what would you like to do?"
"I thought that you were meant to plan this date."
"I have some plans." Gabriel's gaze fell onto the stand with pencil sketches displayed on it. He pulled Claire towards it. He quickly paid the artist and sat down in the chair. He pulled Claire towards him, pulling her onto his lap. "Now, give me your most beautiful smile," Gabriel asked as he moved Claire's hair behind her ears. "We don't have a single picture together."
"That's good." The artist said. "The way you look at each other is so romantic."
Claire chuckled, trying her hardest to not run off. Gabriel's eyes were fixated on hers. Claire blushed intimidated by the closeness between them. By Gabriel's arm across her back, and his other hand still holding hers. By the warmth of his chest that she leaned against. And his face so close to hers. He must've shaved throughout the day, as his chiselled jawline was smooth. She couldn't look away from his hypnotising blue eyes. Without thought, she moved her free hand and caressed his smooth cheek.
"Do you even know what you're doing to me?" Gabriel asked quietly.
"What am I doing to you?" Claire asked as she smiled, and moved her hand away.
"You hold me hostage, dear. You hold my heart hostage."
"Don't be silly," Claire replied. "I haven't done anything."
"If anyone were to ask me what the happiest moment of my life was, I'd say now. The present."
"Don't exaggerate." Claire laughed nervously.
"I wouldn't, Claire."
"How long have you been dating?" The artist asked.
"This is our first real date," Gabriel answered.
"You look very nice together." The artist passed them the finished sketch. Gabriel and Claire stood up and Claire studied the drawing carefully. She smiled at a simple sketch that showed them together, smiling and looking at each other intimately, with no care in the world about anyone else.
"Thank you." Gabriel nodded as they continued walking by the river. "I think it should be framed and placed in our new living room."
"What?" Claire looked up at Gabriel.
"Or maybe in the library, in our cosy little hideout?"
"I'm not sure whether it'll fit the aesthetic," Claire answered jokingly.
"So, we have to design a completely new room just for this picture."
"I feel like this is the kind of drawing that should be kept away from others."
"Why?"
"It should be just for us," Claire said quietly. Gabriel nodded looking over her shoulder at a drawing.
They continued walking until they reached an area with small tables with colourful parasols outside a little restaurant. Gabriel was quick to pull the chair out for Claire.
They ordered their meal as Claire admired the sunset, her hand still held hostage by Gabriel.
As the meal arrived Claire spotted from the corner of her eye how Gabriel quickly put something in his mouth as if he tried to be discreet. She didn't care about being discreet, her eyes pierced at him, awaiting an explanation, but it didn't come.
"What are you taking?" Claire asked directly.
"It's nothing." Gabriel shook his head quickly, looking away. Claire went silent unsure of how to approach it. Her silence bothered him more. "It's nothing worrisome."
"Are you sick?"
"In some ways." Gabriel chuckled.
"Is that medication?"
"It is, yes." Gabriel nodded. "I have to keep to a schedule for it to work better. I didn't mean for you to see it, but I didn't want to let go of you to take it."
Claire straightened out in her chair, her face showed worry.
"Gabriel…"
"It's nothing serious, don't worry."
"Then, why don't you tell me?" Claire squeezed his hand for the first time.
"Because I'm embarrassed…"
"You fool," Claire grumbled.
"It's an antidepressant," Gabriel admitted quietly. "It's meant to help me regulate my mood."
"I'm pretty sure you shouldn't have been drinking whilst on antidepressants." Claire looked even more worried.
"Actually, I didn't drink that much. I was getting myself non-alcoholic beer for most of the Friday night."
"You sneaky little…" Claire swore under her nose. "How is that going?"
"What?"
"Your mental health. How are you feeling?"
"Well, I'm working on it. It took a few weeks to settle with the antidepressants but my moods are more balanced out. I don't like it as a long-term solution but I don't think I can manage without it just yet."
"They're quite tricky," Claire said quietly. "I always found the first few months on them worse than before starting them, then it gradually gets better."
"I didn't realise that you were on antidepressants before."
"I did at the university," Claire admitted. "A lot has happened around that time. I really went downhill very quickly. And sometimes, some days, I feel as if I was back in that spiral. Especially after my mum fell ill."
"How are you doing now?"
"Oh, as Gina said, I'm the 'dead on the inside type'." Claire laughed. "I'm not sure. I feel like I'm drifting. One bad current and I might drown. But I'm still afloat." Claire sighed. "What about you?"
"I'm not sure. I do feel a lot like I'm drowning, but it's not every day and every minute anymore. I get an occasional break."
"How do you find therapy?"
"Some weeks are great and some weeks I hate it," Gabriel admitted.
"Yeah. I remember being in therapy and I hated it. I didn't understand the therapist. She was saying some cliche things and she just irritated me. Only a few years later I realised what she was trying to do and that I wasn't ready to work on my issues yet. I was so defensive of it. I wanted to argue. I didn't want to heal yet. I wasn't ready to face it yet."
"I'm guessing you had some talking therapy."
"I'm pretty sure I had a whole set by now." Claire laughed. "Talking therapy, EMDR, CBT, MBCT. I think I covered the entire alphabet with all of the acronyms."
"I don't think I've heard of a few of those."
"Talking therapy is self-explanatory. EMDR is eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing. It's meant to help process trauma and help your brain to kind of dissociate from it. It's almost like trying to reprogram your brain. CBT is cognitive behavioural therapy. Fairly common. Kind of like a practical approach to talking therapy. And MBCT is mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. If you ask me, the last one is an outright bullsh*t."
"I hope you don't mind me asking…" Gabriel started carefully. "But was it caused by the swimming team incident?"
L"Part of it, yes." Claire nodded. "But there was more that happened that tore me down."
"I'm so sorry, Claire."
"Why? It's not like you were responsible for any of this."
"I just wish I was there to protect you."
"Don't be silly." Claire smiled with some sadness in her eyes. "What about you? Do you know what started it?"
"I think that it's the whole lot. I was a scrawny little kid that was bullied. I never really fit in with my peers. And I had a fairly bad relationship with my parents, my dad especially. I don't think it was a single event that caused it. I feel like it was an ocean of small drops."
"I'm sorry," Claire said almost silently, wondering about Gabriel and his dad and how that was yet to unfold.
"As you've said, don't be silly. You have nothing to be sorry for."
"Thank you for telling me the truth. I know I have no business in it…"
"But you do, Claire. It's only normal that you're worried about the state of my mind if you're with me. You saw me at my worst. You have a right to ask. Even if it is just to keep yourself safe. And as embarrassed I am to talk about it, and as afraid I am to be this vulnerable with you, I am willing to share it with you. For the past few weeks, the medication send me on a bit of a rollercoaster. I didn't have any angry outbursts, but I had a number of days with low moods. Very low moods. I am currently balancing out my moods and have started to do so just a few days before you came back. I didn't have a single anger outburst in weeks. I'm not sure whether I can guarantee that it is never going to happen again, but I am trying my best to work on my issues. And there's a lot of them, as it turns out. I am probably the most toxic person there is."
"Stop with that talk. Everyone I know has issues. Everyone I know dealt with them differently. We are all broken people. I am genuinely happy to hear that you're working on it. But I hope that it's not solely for me. I do hope that it's mostly for yourself."
"It is. But I must admit that I only realised how much I've struggled once I've hurt you. Only then I've realised how far out of control I was." Gabriel quickly picked a tissue to wipe his face, trying to hide a stray tear, turning red from shame.
Claire leaned forward and before he wiped that single tear, she gently wiped it away with her hand.
"My dad always taught me to give people a second chance. When you meet someone you start with a blank canvas. You then paint their picture as you learn more about them. Now, if you fall out with them, don't throw that canvas away. As every great artist once did, paint over it. Yes, some lines from the previous painting are hard to cover and might shine through, but it's a good way to work out whether the person has truly changed. If you end up with the same painting, you can get rid of it. There's no point in starting over again if you already were there. But if the new painting creates something new and much more beautiful, hold onto it as you can keep working on it until you love it." Claire smiled at the memory. "He always repeated it to me when I fell out with some of my friends. It was a good way for him to tell me to give people a chance but only one chance, without allowing them to keep hurting me."
"He sounds like a wise man."
"He is." Claire nodded. "Besides his stubbornness when it comes to ravioli. My grandma made the best ricotta ravioli in the world and she gave him the recipe, and he doesn't want to share it with me."
"Why?"
"He always grumbled something about it being the only reason that I still visit him so he has to keep it for himself as leverage." Claire laughed. "It's not the main reason though, even though it is in the top two or three reasons."
"Why did your parents have an Italian restaurant?"
"It was my dad's restaurant. My Nonna, my grandmother was Italian. Her food always brought the family together. My dad opened the restaurant, and after some time he dragged my mum into it."
"Only now I'm finding out that you're a quarter Italian?"
"For the future, it's usually better to date someone before marrying them."
"I needed you to stay."
"So you've tricked me into marrying you?"
"See, I thought about it for a while. You're very smart. You're beyond smart. You're probably the most intelligent person I know. I know that you couldn't get tricked that easily."
"Really?" Claire sipped on the glass of water.
"You've signed your CDO contract without consulting the lawyer and you didn't have any issues in understanding any of the terms and conditions. You regularly produce contract drafts for our clients before passing them on to our legal team. I think that you knew what you were doing." Gabriel leaned back with a boisterous smile on his face.
"And why would I do that?" Claire asked as she raised her brows. "Why would I marry someone like you?"
"I thought about it for a while. And I've realised that the answer was right in front of me for all of this time. It was because of my money."
"I don't care for your money." Claire scoffed.
"No, not for yourself. You asked me for a single thing, you wanted two hundred thousand Pounds. You needed that money for your parents. And you've used it for your mum, for her surgery and care. You married me to save your mum." Claire was silent, looking down at her shaking hand. "My heart breaks for you, Claire. That's also why I offered to terminate the contract. I don't want you to hate your life, and me, because you needed two hundred thousand Pounds. I will never ask you to repay me any of it, and as I've said, you own half of everything."
"I rather think that you've tricked me," Claire said with a shaky voice.
"Of course. I am happy to take all of the blame for it. It was an outrageous idea and my stubborn self decided to go ahead with it. Watters still thinks that it was some joke. He doesn't want to believe that either of us would sign a contract like that."
"Do you regret it?"
"I regret many things, Claire. I regret every outburst of anger that I had in front of you. I regret hurting you. I regret not telling you the truth before you were to leave me. But I do not regret our marriage. I am genuinely hopeful for the future, with you by my side. I guess, I only have one more question…"
"Yes?"
"Do you even like me?" Gabriel asked.
"No," Claire replied sharply with a slight chuckle.
"Oh." Gabriel was taken aback by her direct answer.
"I don't know you well enough to make up my mind about you," Claire explained quickly. "I still have a fairly blank canvas and much more space to paint."
"I thought that you were going to say that you hate me."
"No." Claire shook her head. "There's only one person in this world that I hate. And it's not you."
"May I ask who it is?"
"I am not willing to share it tonight," Claire answered honestly.
"Is it the same person that is following you?"
"It's his minions that are following me, yes."
"Am I allowed to ask about it?"
"Not yet. And definitely, not tonight." Claire said sternly.
Gabriel accepted her answer, not bringing it up again. Their meal was brought up shortly after which they enjoyed under the stars that started glimmering happily in the sky, and as thousands of fairy lights lit up the parasols.
After the meal, Gabriel walked with Claire towards a bookshop where he persuaded her to pick a book for him, whilst he picked one for her. And then they walked together, holding hands, by the river, until the moon was high in the sky.
Gabriel walked Claire back towards the city centre, hesitating and hoping to postpone the goodbye, afraid of leaving her side, as even the thought of it made him long for her more. The very thought of walking away from her caused him anguish.
"Thank you for tonight," Claire spoke first. "I really enjoyed it. And I'm going to read this book as soon as."
"And so will I." Gabriel pointed at a book in his hand. "And thank you, Claire. Thank you for giving me this time, those memories, and thank you for our first date."
They stopped at a junction, not far from the hotel where Claire was staying.
Claire looked down at her feet, feeling shy all of sudden as if Gabriel could read her thoughts as if he could see how much she didn't want to let go of that evening yet.
"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" Claire asked.
"Of course." Gabriel nodded. "We have work to do. I need you to keep my company afloat."
"I'll try my best." Claire giggled. She let go of Gabriel's hand. "Goodnight, Gabriel."
"Goodnight, Claire." Gabriel hated this moment as he felt as if his heart was ripped out of his chest. After a few moments of gathering courage, Claire turned away to leave, and so did Gabriel, starting to walk in opposite direction.
Claire stopped on the pavement, second-guessing herself and hating herself. She turned around, watching Gabriel's back as he slowly walked further and further away. She ran towards him, grabbing his arm. Gabriel turned around in surprise.
"May I…?" She asked at which he nodded before she even finished her sentence. She stood on her tiptoes and she planted a kiss on his cheek. A soft and gentle peck. Seemingly the most fleeting moment turned into eternity, as the world stopped spinning for Claire and Gabriel.
Gabriel was too stunned to say anything, and Claire was too afraid of his reaction to stand around and wait for it. She turned away and run off, as Gabriel watched her getting further and further away, as she disappeared out of his sight, Gabriel touched his cheek, in disbelief and excitement that he could barely contain. He felt as if his heart was to explode.