"What is her deal?" Emi rolled onto her side and propped herself on her elbow on the floor, peering at me with a scowl. I shrugged, staring up at the ceiling. The paint had peeled in a few places and cracked in a couple more and I found myself tracing the lines with my eyes, following the threads of the cracks as they meandered from the center outward.
"I don't know," I admitted.
"I mean, yeah, you two had an argument but come on! To run right over to Daishi is sus af," Emi shook her head.
"You're not wrong," I agreed, rubbing my nose with the back of my hand before lacing my fingers behind my head.
"What about you, then?" Emi crawled over to me and lay her head on my belly, grabbing a bag of chips from the bag of snacks we'd purloined from the kitchen earlier.
"What about me?"
"Well, with as all over the place as you've been with her, you're taking this…surprisingly well."
"Oh?" I glanced down at her as she shoveled several chips into her mouth. "How was I supposed to act?"
"I don't know. Like, more heartbroken or something?" Emi piled another chip into her already full mouth and shrugged.
"You're not wrong, I guess," I admitted. "I feel I should be heartbroken, but I guess I'm just kind of numb. Not to mention that, even though it's kind of a surprise…well, a huge surprise, I guess, it's also not really unexpected."
"Are you in shock, do you think?" Emi asked, tilting her head to look up at me. "Do you need a blanket?"
"Huh?" I cocked an eyebrow at her quizzically.
"In health they said if someone's in shock to cover them with a blanket," Emi clarified.
"Wrong kind of shock, I think," I replied. "And, no, I don't need a blanket."
"Shrimp chip, then?" Emi proffered one of the pale pink chips she was devouring, and I shook my head.
"I find it tough to eat them after they changed the recipe and name. They're too salty, now and Ebi Hime was not a good idea." I shook my head. "Kind of sounds like some kind of weird underwater sex thing or something. 'I'm sorry, Mario, but our princess is getting eaten in another castle.'"
"Everyone wants to eat the Shrimp Princess!" Emi declared proudly, holding the chip up triumphantly for a long moment before shoving it into her mouth. "Mmm. She's delicious."
"Don't say it," I warned her.
"She's a bit fishy-" Emi began, only stopping when I flicked her on the earlobe with my finger.
"Stop it," I snapped. Emi grinned at me and shoved another chip into her mouth.
"So…what are we going to do?" Emi looked down at the nearly empty bag sadly.
"About what?"
"This whole clustertruck-kun," Emi said by way of clarification, waving the chip bag around dramatically. "I mean, we're doing the maid café thanks to your sweet, sweet, honeyed words and she's part of it. Or…was part, I guess. Things are probably going to be a bit awkward."
"Maybe she'll go hang out with Daishi and his minions and we won't have to worry," I suggested.
"Ah! I see! Allow the problem to take care of itself! Clever!"
"I assume you're going to be staying the night," I said, looking over at my desk as the clock ticked to 9 pm.
"Yes. I feel a sleepover is needed. I am your emotional support friend right now. You need me. And there are still snacks." She gestured to the bag in the middle of the floor. "Besides, I played the dutiful daughter earlier and now my dad owes me. I tried to call Mizuki and see if she wanted to make it a threesome, but she didn't answer."
"I think she's plucking Yuto's back hair tonight," I gagged at the mental image. "Besides, don't use words like threesome."
"Too soon?" Emi purred, waggled her eyebrows up and down.
"You are going to be a great phone sex worker someday," I marveled.
"It's a gift," she shrugged, placing the empty chip bag aside sadly. "So, what are you going to do?"
"How do you mean?" I returned my eyes to the crack on the ceiling. It was like a low-rent Rorschach, I thought. It looked vaguely like a sky dragon I'd seen in a painting once if I closed one eye, tilted my head and squinted exactly right. I wonder if there was any sort of significance in that. Of course, it looked like a crack in the ceiling normally, so I imagined any significance was marginal at best.
"Are you going to beat her up?" Emi's wandering hand seized on a packet of gummy fish and she drew it to her like a black hole devouring light.
"No," I replied. "Why would I do that?"
"I'm not sure how these sorts of things work," Emi struggled briefly with the package before tearing it open with her teeth. Her parents' food bill had to be monstrous, I thought idly.
"Me either," I admitted. "I promised we'd still be friends but I'm not sure how to do that. I kind of wrecked that by telling her to leave me alone from now on."
What could I do? She had confessed to me and I, like a fool, had confessed in turn. Well, confessed in my way, I guess. Was I a coward for not leaping straight into things? Was I wrong for being cautious? The self-assurance I'd had just a couple hours earlier in the bath had vanished like the afternoon sun and left me blinking in the twilight gloom of doubt and confusion.
I couldn't make heads or tails of what I was thinking or how I was feeling. Honestly, in a very real way, I felt relieved. I had wanted to go out with her, of course. I found her attractive and intelligent and funny and there was definitely an attraction I couldn't quite grasp the depth of in my feelings toward her. Was it love? I had no experience with love, but I think it had been. Or maybe even still was, I didn't know. But those feelings and emotions had been swept away in the deluge of 15 horribly mangled words and one photo. I wasn't sure how to feel or what to think anymore. I knew, though, I was glad for Emi's company.
"That is a conundrum," Emi nodded sagely. "A veritable catch-22."
"You've been watching too much tv," I pointed out.
"Is there such a thing as too much?" Emi asked through gummy fish.
"You're not wrong, though. It is quite a conundrum. I guess I'll just play it by ear and hope the numbness doesn't wear off," I shrugged.
"Sometimes being numb's the best you can hope for."
She wasn't wrong, I thought. I dreaded this feeling of shock wearing off and the reality of things kicking in. Love is not worth it, I decided. Love hurts.
"What do you suppose 'get r frek on' even is?" Emi scowled.
"I think it's freak, not 'frek'," I pointed out.
"I guess that makes a little more sense. What do you suppose it means?" Emi's mouth was becoming more and more stuffed as she continued to shovel gummy fish in without chewing and swallowing the ones she had fast enough.
"You're going to choke to death," I pointed out. She waved her hand dismissively.
"It's fine. I do this all the time. I'm used to it. Ew! You don't suppose they're fucking do you?" Emi shivered. Suddenly a very vivid image of Aria lying spread below Daishi sprang to my mind, her face flushed, sweat glistening on her breasts as- I closed my eyes tightly to force the image away. My pulse quickened for a long moment before the numbness returned, slowly, reluctantly almost, I felt calm again.
"Tt's possible," I finally muttered.
"That's gross," Emi shook her head, chewing thoughtfully on the knot of fruit gummies in her cheeks.
"You're not wrong," I replied dully.
"Oh my god!" Emi exclaimed, shooting upright.
"What?" I jumped at the sudden movement, instantly afraid she'd managed to talk despite choking to death on a mass of gelatinous fruit candy.
"I forgot to tell you!" Before I could react, Emi's nightshirt was pulled up and her panda panties were off, and she was straddling my shoulders; her crotch 3 centimeters from my face. I was so shocked I lay still for a long moment staring at the delicate line of her vagina in front of my face.
"What the fuck, Emi? What are you doing?" I sputtered, trying to scramble backward. With her knees over my shoulders, I simply dragged her backward with me.
"I've got pubes!" Emi crowed proudly, pointing to a spot right above the apex of her slit. "I got them the other day." She chuckled proudly.
"You really shouldn't shove your pubes in people's face, you know," I muttered, trying to look everywhere but at Emi's exposed labia.
"It's good you acknowledge them. True; they're not much right now, but they'll be a lush forest ripe for the razor before long! Once you get yours, we'll trim and shape them together as a testament to our bond as pube sisters!" Emi put her fists on her small hips proudly and threw back her head in manic laughter.
"Mom wants to know if you want tea- "Mio's voice came from behind Emi as she opened the door. I peered around Emi's body in horror, watching the color drain from my sister's face as she stared at us in shock.
"Oooh!" Emi cooed, turning back to Mio, and clapping her hands. "Tea! Yes, please! Do you want to see my pubic hair, Mio?" Mio slammed the door closed and I could hear her running at top speed down the hall. "What's wrong with her?" Emi mused. "I hope it's ginger!"
"Moooooommmmm!" Mio's cries echoed through the house.
"Fuck," I sighed.