I open my eyes to see Vanessa looking straight at me. She gives me a small smile but I can see tiredness written all over her face. The meeting must have been a particularly difficult one. She turns away from me, going extremely quiet as she starts to stare at the moon. We stay like that for a while, just staring at the night sky, but while she must have been feeling calm, I am anything but. The longer she stays here, the more I remember my promise to set things right. I close my eyes and begin to gather my courage. I have been in countless battles these past few years, and none but my first had left me feeling this nervous and unsure of myself.
"Vanessa." My voice cuts through the silence.
"Hmm," she says, turning to face me.
I keep quiet for a few seconds more, then I decide to get it all over with once and for all. "I- I'm sorry. For what happened all those years ago. I know I shouldn't have done what I did but that's no excuse-"
"Stop! Just… stop," she interrupts, raising one hand. She lets out a sigh. "Look, Arell, what happened then wasn't entirely your fault. I knew then. I knew, but I kept it from you because of my… arrogance… stupidity. I don't know. After we all separated, I was angry with you for some time, but, once I really thought things through, I realized the part I had played in what happened. I knew how you were then and still, I kept it from you. Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is, that it wasn't all your fault. You don't need to apologize to me. Really. I mean, I forgave you long ago, but I guess it was already too late then. We had all gone our separate ways."
The revelation that she had known is a bit shocking, but thinking about it, it makes sense. They had been so close then, there's no way Vanessa wouldn't have found out. If she had told me this then, I probably would have exploded and blamed everything on her, after all, I wouldn't have done what I did if I knew it. But now, I just accept the revelation. In the end, I had been the one who acted, not Vanessa.
"Still-" I start to say, but once again Vanessa interrupts.
"Listen," she places a hand on top of mine, "stop trying to apologize, okay. As I said, I don't blame you for what happened, I've forgiven you. I just wish things had been different. Unfortunately, the past can't be changed. Now, I forbid you from ever bringing up that topic again. It's not good to dwell too long on the past. Still, understand this, I don't blame you. I've forgiven you."
She takes her hand off mine and a cold wind rushes to take its place. I don't mind though. For the first time in years, the weight on my heart completely disappears. "Are you crying?" Vanessa asks as I feel something cold and wet move down my face.
"No," I say, letting out a small laugh as I wipe the tear. A second later, I say gratefully, "Vanessa. Thank you."
She smiles a warm smile in reply. After that, we go back to staring at the moon, but this time, I feel completely at peace. Soon, I begin to feel sleepy. Suddenly, Vanessa stands up. "It seems my time outside is up."
My drowsiness disappears. "Why?"
She raises an eyebrow. "If I stay outside any longer, I probably will catch a cold."
"Oh," I say, "you should have said something sooner." I raise a hand and a small, blue flame bursts into life above it. It would be no problem for me to make sure that she stays warm up here. I should have let her leave, but at the moment some part of me loathed to be deprived of her company.
"Arell," she speaks slowly, as though trying to explain something to a child, "even with your abilities, I can't stay here; I haven't had dinner yet, besides, it is very improper for a lady like me to be spending time alone with a man, on a roof, and at night for that matter. So, as much as I would love to stay here, I really do have to go."
In the end, I can't do anything but accept her decision, but, just as she is about to leave I call her name one last time.
"I am really sorry, but, I sort of burnt up a room earlier today. Don't be mad-"
"I already know that. Tassa told me."
My mind immediately flashes to the maid. She still told Vanessa, despite me telling her not to. It is understandable, after all, Vanessa is her employer, but some part of me still feels a little betrayed. Noticing my expression, Vanessa giggles. "Listen here, Arell. All my employees are loyal. To me. Understood?" After that, she turns around and finally leaves.
For some seconds, I stay still, staring at where she had been standing just a few moments ago, then I lay back down and close my eyes. At some point, I am not particularly sure when I fall asleep. Some hours later I wake up and stumble groggily back to my bed before falling into an even deeper sleep.